To make a few things clear, the topic was meant to focus on recent games from the last and early current generation of consoles; ones that we can easily trace their inspirations on the games made today. If I had to state an exact time frame I was going for, I would estimate from the launch of the Xbox/Gamecube/PS2 to the starting years of the 360/Wii/PS3 life cycles (so roughly 2001-2007).

What compelled me to write this was a desire to point out a few of the overbearing trends that seem to have such a firm hold on what the video game industry thinks are the “in things” these days. We’re at a point where graphical technology is almost as good as it can get already, which means games for new consoles will have to focus more and more on their own aesthetics, themes, narratives, and game mechanics, and I just don’t want to see a whole new video game generation stagnate and bomb because games start looking all the same.

So… besides being an HD Twilight Princess, what else we got?

For those of you asking what I would have developers do, well to be perfectly clear, I am in no way against looking at our recent past for inspiration moving forward. So, to counteract my previous list, here is another: 5 Games that weren’t exactly trend setters, but still developed a cult following with unique traits that the industry could stand to learn a thing or two from.

Super Mario Sunshine

About time they had a vacation.

This one goes out squarely to the people at Nintendo, specifically the ones making Mario games. No, Super Mario Sunshine was not the best Mario game. It was however, in my opinion, the most original. Chris actually wrote up a retrospective on Sunshine, commenting how it was one of the only Mario games not to take place in the Mushroom Kingdom, and had level designs that took a much needed jump away from the typical meadow, water, lava, ice, dessert, cave, and haunted house tropes every other installment of the main series has succumbed to like they’re going down a chekclist. Sunshine also gets kudos for finally taking off the training wheels (if only for one game) and actually opening with a plot that cannot be summed up with “Princess Peach is kidnapped…again.” (Yeah, she does get kidnapped eventually, but for once, it’s not the main crutch of the story.)

Of course, we all know why this game wasn’t as famous or successful as every other Mario game. No, not because F.L.U.D.D. was occasionally sketchy to control, or because 3D underwater swimming levels still suck no matter what game you’re playing. No, Sunshine got the shaft because it DID take risks and DID make those changes that I listed above. Now, I loved both Mario Galaxy games as much as the next platforming fan, but even I started to notice as the games progressed, that it felt less like “Mario in Space” and more like “Mario in the space version of the Mushroom Kingdom.”

Look, Nintendo, I know fanboys weren’t all too pleased with this game, but you shouldn’t listen to fanboys every single time. You should listen to me. Fanboys are crybabies who whine because Mario had to carry a super soaker and didn’t get to stomp any Goombas. I for one saw the value in a game that, flaws and all, was a refreshing new take on a series that drastically needed it. I don’t know about anyone else, but I am holding up hopes that the next Mario installment for the Wii U does something crazy again. Like Time Travel (Stone Age, Greek, Medieval, Renaissance, Western, Sci-fi Future versions of Mushroom Kingdom? Come on, that’d be fun), or, how ‘bout this: Mario and Luigi actually manage a plumbing factory that is sabotaged by Waluigi (seriously, give that guy a legitimate villain role already).

Final Fantasy X

After a New Years nightcap and a heated battle between the east and the west/story and gameplay, Midnight of January 1st 2012, my otaku friend finally accomplished the ultimate: he got me to cave and play my first Final Fantasy game. So we blew the dust off his PS2 and inserted FFX, and after I spent the first several hours whining and moaning (mostly just in spite of my friend) about how horrendous looking Tidus’ outfit is and how the last ten years have taken a serious toll on the game’s voice acting (Sorry all you FF fans who thought the voice work was revolutionary for the series, but go back. It has not aged well), the game… is actually pretty good. I’m about 20 hours in now, and I’m liking it so far. The plot is very quest-oriented and has a diverse cast that is well developed. The gameplay is turn-based strategy with random encounters, and while that style of gameplay started to grow old for me back in the day, I find myself enjoying the strategy part of it a lot here. As for the highly-coveted Blitzball minigame, while not my cup of tea, I still value its existence in the plot as it breathed a lot of personality into the world and the characters.

This may just be a guess, but around the point Pokemon became this huge hit in the late 90’s and pretty much owned the turn based strategy genre, spawning dozens of hashed out clones, that could be contributed to why turn-based RPG’s started to lose their muster a bit in the last generation and why Square Enix has been so fixated on trying to develop new and interesting combat systems with their latest installments, rather than focusing on what they used to do so well, which was create unique, yet cohesive, quest based stories with endearing characters and gameplay that favors using your mind over your thumbs.

The following plea comes from the request of my friend, a dedicated follower of JRPG’s for years.

Square Enix, we get it. You have proven to us time and again that you can make games look pretty. You can also make RPG combat as fast-paced and interactive as we can possibly ask for. Great and great. But your narratives in recent years have been everywhere from unmemorable mediocrity at best, to overbearing incomprehensible disasters at worse. You actually had something real special going with FFX. We would gladly go back to turn based combat and random encounters if you gave us another story worth playing through.

The same goes for all other developers. Turn based RPG’s don’t all have to be shallow Pokemon knock offs. They can be clever. Paper Mario and the Thousand Year Door was another good one. In fact, I like that one more than its real-time platforming-esque sequel for the Wii.

Lostwinds

Okay, so this game came out in 2008, a little after my aforementioned cut-off date above, but since it’s an indie game that released on the launch of Nintendo’s online network, WiiWare, I think it still counts. Lostwinds is a 2D puzzle platformer, a simple tale about of a boy named Toku on a trek to save his village from an evil spirit polluting the land, all the while aided by a wind spirit named Enril.

While Toku is controlled normally by moving left and right with the analog stick, the wind spirit Enril is controlled with the Wiimote. Having a player interact with two separate characters simultaneously in and of itself is unique, but where this game really shines is how it uses the Wii’s technology to manipulate the winds as a means of platforming. Eventually, Enril learns to manipulate the other elements to solve puzzles: fire, water, earth, you name it.

Last week I mentioned how difficult it was to find a truly worthy motion control experience with depth. Lostwinds, and its sequel Winter Melodies, were the kind of Wii experiences I’ve been looking for. It is the perfect example of a game that makes the most of what the Wii has to offer. Meanwhile, it also looks great and sounds great. Pretty short, but it’s cheep, so it balances out. Any Wii owners out there who have yet to check this out, I highly recommend it. If more motion games played like this, than I’d be way more inclined to believe the industry when they say that motion gaming is here to stay.

Super Smash Bros.

The series that needs to no introduction (because Chris and I may have mentioned it a couple hundred times already), Super Smash Bros. succeeded in completely innovating the fighting game genre. It replaced health meters with damage meters, one-on-one with 4 player battle royales, flat battle maps with a wide variety of unique terrains, and button mashing combos with special moves that are easy to learn but hard to truly master.

The series’ second installment, Super Smash Bros. Melee, went on to be the best selling GameCube game every single year of the console’s life cycle, so by no means was the series unpopular. It had a huge following, so why did this style of fighting games never really expanded to other series, save for official sequels and a few failed attempts? I guess it depends on whether you think SSB is successful do it’s innovative gameplay or because it is a love letter to Nintendo fans with its all star cast spanning 20+ years of video game icons. I want to believe it’s a combination of both.

If another game, movie, or TV series has a strong following, and someone made a polished SSB style fighting game around it, I am positive it will sell. (Here are some ideas of franchises that would work almost perfectly.)

And the Number One Game I would like to see more of is…

Ratchet and Clank

Last week, I mentioned how one of the gaming trends I am sick of this generation happens to be dark gritty shooters staring power armored space marines. Sci-Fi has always been the most popular theme in video games, and it probably always will be. In video game’s origins, it took the form of classic arcades like Asteroids and Space Invaders. Now it takes the form of these juggernaut hits like Halo and Gears of War that tout themselves to be these dramatic space operas with huge open conflicts and “realistic” human characters. All the while the industry has become too naïve to realize that Dark Sci-Fi has become the most formulaic and cookie cutter theme in video games.

But you know what I am not sick of? Whimsical sci-fi platformer-shooter hybrids staring power armored space Lombaxes and their diminutive sarcastic robot partners. Ratchet and Clank make the top of my list of games we need to see more of because they represent a surviving franchise in a style of games that has been all but forgotten in the modern day. In comparison to the other sci-fi universes out there right now, the series’ anthropomorphic characters and very Pixar-like art style and animation make it stand out severely. However, if this franchise started on the Super Nintendo, alongside big Sci-Fi icons of the time like Fox McCloud, Samus Aran, and Mega Man, it probably would have fit right in.

Around the late 90’s/ early 2000’s as platforming adventure games started to make a permanent jump from 2D to 3D, we saw a ginormous slew of new cartoon/animal themed characters launch for all consoles. Unfortunately, due to a combination of gamers getting older and the hardcore trends that the industry introduced to optimize this change, many of these new characters were lucky if they got a whole trilogy of successful titles before they were promptly upstaged by these ultra famous mega hits (like the games I mentioned last week).

So, while Jak, Sly, Banjo, Conker, and Rayman were all left behind in the last two generations, Ratchet’s creators at Insomniac Games endured and moved on to make a whole new trilogy for the PS3 anyway (keep in mind, they were doing this in between making a whole other series that the industry did want, a dark gritty sci-fi alternate WW2 history shooter in Resistance). Graphically, the games’ cartoony characters and art style translated on an HD system to be one of the most vibrant and colorful instances of world building I’ve seen. While the tone of the Ratchet and Clank games has always been pretty lighthearted and witty, I can’t stress enough how pulling off truly clever and well timed humor like this game does is light years harder than writing Oscar bait war dramas like Mass Effect.

For the record, I am not saying that they just need to keep making more Ratchet and Clank. I felt that series was capped off perfectly fine with 2009’s A Crack in Time. Insomniac has done their part. Let them move on to work on Overstrike. No, what I’m saying is that all those other cartoon/animal platform adventurers that were left behind in the last generation need to catch up. Sly Cooper is getting a revival this year. That’s great. I hope Jak and Daxter is soon to follow. I hope Rayman Origins, which came out this holiday, sells well enough so Ubisoft will give Mike Ancel the go to finally make Beyond Good and Evil 2. I’d love to see Banjo-Kazooie have a comeback. I pray every day that Crash Bandicoot will be passed down to a competent developer that will finally know what they’re doing.

Maybe Sonic will finally…um…actually him I have given up on. Sorry, he’s just hurt me too many times in the past.

All too easy

We’re spoiled when it comes to game guides and help these days. Walkthroughs and FAQs are a dime a dozen online, all of them different depending on who wrote it…and all of them also varying quite a bit in quality. We’ve all used them at some point; it’s just a fact that some games require a little extra help. Of course, we all know that just because you know how to do something in a game doesn’t mean you can actually do it, so I hesitate to consider any of it cheating.

Minecraft is a perfect example of a modern game that requires all sorts of extras to have a good time. You have wikis, apps, how-to guides and everything in between just a click away. Having all these extras really helps make the game that much more fun because you’re not just trying to do well when playing the game as you’re also trying to stay organized and manage all your external resources. However, I can’t help but long for the days when you had more physical goods to play with…you know, actual maps and guidebooks. What’s not fun about maps? You fold them up, stick them in between the pages of your favorite gaming magazine, and take them wherever you need…sometimes even just taking them out to admire them when you’re not playing.

Dragon Warrior, my first RPG

One of the first true RPGs I played as a kid was Dragon Warrior and it came with more gaming swag that I could have dreamed of. Sometime around 1990, Nintendo Power magazine ran a promotion that offered new subscribers a free copy of Dragon Warrior and I was one of the thousands of kids that begged mom and dad for an early birthday present. I knew I was getting the magazine and a free game but I didn’t know that the game was going to be delivered with a treasure trove of extras, all of which I still have today.

The complete Dragon Warrior swag collection.

They packaged the game with two fold-out poster maps of the overworld and dungeons, a guidebook filled with hints and tips, and an “Adventure Guide,” which was little more than a piece of cardboard with the level progression on it. One map had all the dungeons on one side and a title poster on the other, which did hang in my room at one point. The other was also double-sided with one side being the overworld map showing the expected topography and on the other side a chart showing where you would be most likely to find every possible monster. The guidebook was pretty bitchin’ too since it outlined just about everything else you would need to know about the game. Level charts, weapon guides, and town layouts were all covered. The guidebook was the equivalent of an online walkthrough you’d find today, but was much better thanks to lots of illustrations, screenshots, and the fact you could have it next to you while you played. The guidebook did everything except give away the ending. It told you everything you’d need when fighting the end boss but it didn’t tell you how to beat him or what would happen when you did. It was a guide in the truest sense of the word: It helped you but didn’t give you any real answers.

With all of these maps and guides, I remember wondering what type of game this would be if I really needed all this stuff…but boy did I need the help. It took me forever to complete Dragon Warrior even with all the extras, so I can’t imagine playing through the game without it. The amount of level grinding needed in the game along with its vast game world combined with slow movement tested your patience as a gamer, and Dragon Warrior, probably more than any other game, showed me early on that I am not an RPG gamer. I had more fun with all the maps and guides than I did playing the game itself, which is probably why it took me so long.

When was the last time you had an actual gaming guidebook?

Merchandising, merchandising, merchandising!

I know you can still find books, maps, and guides on shelves at the store today, but when was the last time you actually bought one? Actually, the better question is, when was the last time you bought one because you really needed it? Sure, if you’re a fanboy (or girl) you’ll probably buy anything with the game’s name on it…books, toys, videos, underwear…whatever. We don’t buy the stuff because we want to enhance our game play; we buy it because we want to be better than the next fanboy. And that’s fine, but wouldn’t it be fun to get back to basics and have something to show for your hard work? (Or is gaming not really hard anymore?)

The Internet makes gaming a lot easier, and I’m not saying we should shun these glorious tubes but I’d like to see us as a community take some more pride in playing the games rather than just churning through them so we can cash them in at GameStop as soon as possible. All the game maps I had as a kid made me fall in love with games that I might not have otherwise liked. Games like Metal Gear, Zelda, Section Z, and even Golgo 13 are all childhood favorites not because they were good games (some were, some weren’t) but because they all came with extras that had me engaged beyond the controller. I felt like a pro thanks to all this extra gaming gear and it wasn’t because I went out of my way to get the stuff; most of it came with the game when you bought it. No internet needed and I got some great gaming artifacts.

The map that came with Section Z. Decoder ring not included.

Loss of an art

I didn’t start this article with the intent to touch on the digital-only future of gaming, but in a way it sort of is. Downloading games is convenient, affordable, and offer quick access, but what are we losing in the process? Well, not much it seems because when was the last time you got something extra with your game when you bought it at the store? Maybe if games came with more stuff like they used to, people would still buy games in boxes…wait…nope…no they wouldn’t, they would just wait for one person to buy it, scan it, and put it online. So I guess the days of gaming maps and guidebooks are gone forever, but at least I have some stuff to prove that gaming used to require more than just a web site.

All that being said, I really don’t have much ground to stand on because I’ve spent hundreds of dollars on digital downloads and DLC. Hey, I might miss the old days of gaming but that doesn’t stop me from enjoying today’s games.

These days, I can’t help but feel a bit cautious about the signs of a new console generation on the horizon. Even though the current generation is already five years old, and the average console life cycle usually lasts on average seven years, it still feels a bit too soon. Perhaps this is just the way technology is these days. After all, we’re in a generation where a new phone module is developed and marketed every six months. But the real reason for my skepticism is that I feel there are several trends that have stagnated the creativity and innovation of the current generation of video games.

Many of these trends were not always bad things. In fact, all of them seem to have branched from games that we all believed (and still do) to be really good games. Unfortunately, the impact these games have left on the industry has turned out not to be all that beneficial in the long run. So with that, here is a list of 5 games that were great when they came out, but now I can’t be more sick of every other game milking their gimmicks dry.

I cannot stress enough, none of the games I am about to mention are by any means bad. This is not about the quality of said games, but the impact they’ve had on the industry since their release. In fact, just to be fair, I’m going to begin with one of my personal all time favorites.

God of War

2005, the god of action gaming hit the Play Station 2 by storm and was an immediate hit with critics and core gamers alike. Never before God of War did a hack-n-slash title have a combat system so fluent and visceral. Never has a game captured the grand epic scale of Greek Mythology in a visual masterpiece such as this. Never before Kratos has a video game character been so loved solely for his personification of pure rage, vengeance, and a necessity for justice. Gameplay, story, visuals, God of War struck gold on all borders.

So what does this game have to show for its success seven years later? Well, after fighting it and fighting it for years with Chris, I have finally caved: while every iteration of the series has indeed been a blast to play, the stories of the sequels fell far beneath the standards of the Greek tragedy David Jaffe left us with in the first installment, but that’s just the beginning. For years, dozens of action games attempted to emulate its gameplay and combat system to the point where it became just about impossible to find an action game that didn’t have some kind of extended blade-on-a-string weapon. I especially liked it when Spider-Man started using his webbing to create hammers and other blunt attacks and called it innovative. Since God of War, really the only combat systems that truly felt fresh were Bayonetta (which may have only felt fresh because I hadn’t played Devil May Cry), and Batman Arkham Asylum.

Oh yeah, and Quick-Time-Events? They were cute for a while, but I am so done with those. Nothing irritates me more than games like Force Unleashed shoving haphazard QTE moments that are impossible to be ready for.

Halo: Combat Evolved

The launch title for the original Xbox, Halo Combat Evolved, will be remembered for one reason and one reason only: It was the first FPS I ever played on a console that used a dual analogue control scheme (left analogue to move, right analogue to aim), and ten years ago, I was very impressed by it. Along with the good controls, it had a somewhat decent sci-fi plot with creative enemies, fun vehicle sections, very colorful environments and set pieces, and AWESOME music, so yeah I was totally drinking the Halo kool-aid for those first couple years.

Now, we are in a generation where that once neat dual analog control system is used in every single FPS to date. FPS is now the dominant and best selling game genre on consoles. There are entire armies worth of sci-fi shooter games staring power armored space marines every year (KillzoneConduitGearsHazePreyRedFactionFractureTurokDeadSpaceMassEffect, you know, just to name a few), each possessing their own version of the “We want to be the Covenant” alien race, along with token main protagonists that have the personality of a ton of bricks.

Sorry to all you hardcore fans out there who read the extended universe books and whatnot and know all the intricate details and back stories, but Master Chief is boring, and that’s final. Anyone else find it the slightest bit ironic that a man with no face is now not only the face of Microsoft Game Studios, but has become the most well known mascot of an entire generation? I’m sorry, but seeing a console mascot that is so shallowly developed that I can’t tell you a single solitary detail about him besides “he wears green armor and shoots a lot of aliens” as the new gold standard that all other games aspire too, as sopposed to the colorful robust console mascots of yesteryear like Mario, Sonic, and Crash, forgive me if I can’t help but feel a little disheartened by that.

Wii Sports

As a free game bundled with Nintendo’s latest console, Wii Sports stands as many players’ first, and often most effective, experience with motion gaming. It was a gateway that helped introduce a whole new way to play that appealed to people across the globe of all ages and backgrounds. It was the niche that led Nintendo’s new innovative console to dominate its competition in those opening years. I appreciate this game to no end for what it was able to accomplish, and I have nothing but positive experiences playing it myself with my friends and family.

That said, I doubt this game would have been half as successful had it not specifically been attached and bundled to the actual Wii console. By its own merits, it feels less like a full fledged game and more like a demo used to display what the technology is capable of (a really good demo, but a demo nonetheless). We’re coming up to six years now since the Wii’s launch, and honestly I cant think of any game that was executed as well as what Wii Sports displayed. Sure there have been dozens of casual party games that have tried to do exactly what Wii Sports did, but none of them, save for direct sequels like Wii Sports Resort, control nearly as well. As for the hardcore Nintendo games for the system, all of them fall into one of three categories. Either they…

1. Use motion control for a few minigames and maybe one or two actions that could easily be replaced with a button press (games like Mario Galaxy and Twilight Princess).
2. Place motion control constantly at the front of the player’s attention to the point where players hands start to hurt after playing half an hour (Metroid Prime 3 and Skyward Sword).
3. Ignore motion entirely and maneuver the control scheme past it (Super Smash Bros. Brawl and Kirby Epic Yarn).

And this is just Nintendo we’re talking about. Now that both Microsoft and Sony are jumping on the bandwagon, it’s starting to get out of hand. We’ve seen innovative ways to play games in the past, and they’re not bad things by any means. But unlike DDR, Guitar Hero, the Eye Toy, and other peripherals that ran their course accordingly, the industry seem hell-bent on proving that motion gaming is here for the long haul. Maybe if we see more brilliance like Dance Central, but now, I just don’t see it.

Call of Duty 4 Modern Warfare

I remember when I first played Modern Warfare. Great opening; really set the tone very nicely. Visuals, top notch. Voice work, pretty damn good too. Controls, smooth as a dime. Then the game actually starts up, I go through a few tutorials before being introduced to Captain Price, who then tests me on a little obstacle course to shoot down a set of targets while implementing every facet of my arsenal. Of course I didn’t need him to tell me I’m not the most skilled in maneuvering around FPS games, but that didn’t stop him from scolding me about how pathetic I was and how I would never survive in the field. I try a few more times to no avail, and he continues his smart ass remarks: “The objective is to do it in less time, not more.” I finally somewhat get the hang of it and do a little better, only to be followed by “That’s a bit of an improvement, but it’s not that hard to improve off of garbage.” After that, I basically said you know what, **** you Price. Excuse me if I don’t know how to shoot, reload, swap weapons, melee, throw a flash grenade, sprint, and turn exactly 130 degrees to the exact second you want me to after playing the game for 15 ****ing minutes. I wanted to give this game a fair shot, but if you’re going to give me this attitude like I’m not good enough to play this game, than forget it.” I have never played a Call of Duty game since.

And that right there has been the serious turn-off for me and this whole series: the stuck-up attitude that surrounds it. I’m sure the games play perfectly fine, in fact they’re probably great, and from what I’ve heard, the campaign from this first game was actually a pretty decent length with plenty of memorable moments. Unfortunately, the main pull of the series quickly became its online multiplayer, which is one trend of modern gaming that I cannot latch onto at all, not only because of the attitude, but it just feels like empty calories. I’m not progressing a story, I’m not competing with people I’m invested in, and I don’t feel good about myself for getting cheap-sniped slightly less times than I did the round before.

Also, if there is one genre in shooters that I am more sick of than power-armored space marines, it’s quote unquote “realistic” war propaganda. Battlefield, Medal of Honor, Army of Two, Rainbow Six, they all come out looking exactly the same. No more. Please.

Okay, one more.

Resident Evil 4

Resident Evil 4 is often been praised as one of, if not THE, greatest game of the previous generation. It is also important to note that this was the first (and still only) installment of the whole series that truly felt like something special. It was packed with thrills and had memorable boss fight after memorable boss fight. As of now, I have not actually played RE4 (Chris has, so take his word for it). The main reason being I’ve never wanted to put up with tank-like movement controls and not being able to move when aiming. I am well aware that the claustrophobic controls actually help play up the horror aspects of the game, which is fine for those of you into that, but that’s not the real reason I think this game has negatively affected the industry. No, for a clearer picture off all that could go wrong with this game, look no further than its direct sequel (which I won’t go into detail because Chris already did that as well).

Besides that, RE4 was the game that made zombie slaying hip again, and since then, we’ve had our fun with stuff like Dead Rising, Left 4 Dead, and Dead Space. But for every fun game, we’ve had just as many flops: RE5, Onichibara, and most recently, Dead Island. Another thing that bugs me about this trend is all the games that involve people that are supposedly not zombies, but are possessed, crazed, and/or violent due to plague, drugs, fungus, a curse, brainwashing, or whatever the circumstances. Sorry, no matter how you dress it up, they’re all just different versions of zombies, and I just find it a cheep and easy way for a game to create emotionless cannon fodder enemies. One upcoming example comes strait from my favorite developer of all time, Naughtydog. Their latest game, The Last Of Us, is probably the first time I feel so underwhelmed about one of their games, because it looks like they’re just jumping on the survival action bandwagon.

So to sum up everything I’ve said in one sentence, no more hack n’ slash action games with chain weapons and quick-time-events, no more sci-fi shooters with space marines and fantasy military propaganda, no more shallow casual motion games, no more “realistic” shooters with brown and grey color pallets and reality military propaganda, and NO MORE LAZY ASS ZOMBIE GAMES. I would really appreciate it if when the next console generation rolls along, we are able to move past at least one of these trends.

As for what kind of games I would like to see more of in the future, well, stay tuned and I’ll let you know.

What’s it mean to be a hardcore gamer?

I’ve always said that the “hardcore gamer” label is a relative term. Ask many of my friends and they’ll say I am a hardcore gamer because I play games more regularly than they do, but talking to others I might be considered somewhat casual…lets call it “midcore”…because I don’t play games for more than eight hours a day, not to mention I don’t play many mainstream games.

I love playing games, and I’ve played a lot of games in my life, but the amount of time I spend playing games isn’t what it used to be. Let’s face it, a full-time job and family can’t compete with a 17-year-old who has nothing to lose.  Thus the classification of “hardcore” should not be defined by the quantity of games played or the hours spent playing those games. The rank of “hardcore” should be reserved for the gamers that love punishment…that thrive on the challenge of games that are truly unforgiving. Unfortunately, most games today don’t offer that type of experience so I started to wonder if the era of the hardcore gamer was starting to fade out, that is until I read about Bioshock Infinite‘s added “hardcore” mode.

Bioshock Infinite might end up being more than it seems.

Gaming like it’s 1999…I hope

Almost every game has a difficulty setting that goes from novice to expert, but more so that setting simply increases the number of enemies or at least how much effort it takes to kill them. That can be quite a challenge but more often than not the core gameplay stays the same. According to a Kotaku interview, Bioshock Infinite will have a mode dubbed “1999 mode” that turns the game into a one-way ride through gamer hell. It doesn’t sound like there will be any continues or save points to help limp your ass through the game, and you won’t have ammo raining from the heavens to keep you fully loaded. You’ll have to make choices and stick with them…no redos. This ain’t wiffle ball. The original Bioshock was one of the first games I owned when I got my Xbox 360 and it was a fun game that created one hell of a mood, but it was still forgiving. At no point during the game did I feel I was good at the game…and why should you when you can save your game and restart whenever you want?

Metal Gear Solid, one of my all-time favorite franchises, suffers from the same problem. Games like those have a great story, great visuals and lengthy gameplay, but there were times when I was playing MGS that I made it through a level or boss by shear luck (maybe even a glitch). When that stuff happened I didn’t ask questions or wonder how I did it, I just kept on going, desperate to reach the next cut scene. Does that make me good? No…it makes me lucky, and being lucky is nothing to brag about.

Since it sounds like this “1999 mode” in the new Bioshock sounds pretty serious, it’s probably safe to say that the mode will see you playing in small bursts. You’ll play for 15 minutes, die, swear, and then go do something else…and then you’ll come back an hour later and do the same thing (with more swearing). It saves you from having to set aside hours at a time to play a game. You shouldn’t have to carve out three hours at a time to be able to enjoy a game. When you have a game that can deliver some fun and challenge in less than an hour, you have a winner. It’s easy to point at old arcade and Nintendo games when you’re talking about short time play, but I think Bioshock Infinite has a chance to bridge the gap.

Will this game be more than just a pretty face?

Making a hard sell easier

I know that arcade games aren’t for everyone. I know those were a product of my gaming prime (which was way before 1999). Many of the games from back then were really one-dimensional. They were nothing but high score challenges and while I can enjoy those games, I know I’m the minority. Bioshock Infinite is a big budget title that is as mainstream as you get, so this game will be in the homes of millions of people, many of which may have never had the experience of a real challenge where your decisions mean the difference between life and death…and having to start over.

Selling today’s gamers on Defender and Pac-Man CE is difficult so I’m hoping that Bioshock can sneak in and introduce a “new” type of gaming to the non-hardcore gaming masses. I have to admit that I’m looking forward to seeing how a modern story-based game like Bioshock handles such an “old school” method of game design. Despite enjoying that first Bioshock game, I never played the sequel, nor was I really interested in Infinite until I read about this 1999 mode. I’m hoping it really pans out to be a 2-for-1 deal. If it turns out like I hope, Bioshock Infinite will have all the modern luxuries of gaming with the rewarding challenge of games long forgotten. It could be a game that you can actually be good at rather than simply stumbling through to claim victory.

Old school or hardcore? Whatever.

Even though I think the term “hardcore gamer” is for those that enjoy fast-paced video game brutality, I realize that I won’t win that fight. To most, being a hardcore gamer is about quantity, not quality. So I guess that leaves gamers like me with the label of “old school”, which I can accept but please understand that such a term means a lot more than a love for 80s arcade games and two-button controllers. Old school is not a time period, it’s a mindset, and I’m glad some big developers out there seem to recognize that.

(And if 1999 is now considered “old school”, I’m worried what label games pre-1999 will be given.)

Yup, I bet they are. Now let's battle!

Something I’ve always been surprised about is how Nintendo/Game Freaks have yet to capitalize on the TCG craze like they used to. Yes, the cards are very much still around, but while the physical cards were enjoyable, I found the most fun with the TCG for the Game Boy Color. It was so simple, essentially collecting a handful of the TCG cards at the time into one game cartridge and adding tons of AI opponents to play against. This was wonderful for me as a kid because I couldn’t really find people to play against in real life, so it was a brilliant solution.

But we’ve only had one TCG video game, and since then nothing. There’s got to be a market there, so why no new entry? At the very least, the Pokemon TCG is alive and well on the Internet, of all places, and registering is something I highly recommend doing as it’s free and opens up a nifty watered-down version of the Game Boy Color game, to a point. I’ll explain in a moment.

The first thing you’ll notice is how you can create your own avatar, which is par for the course when it comes to online games these days. Once you’re decked out, you can pop on over to some tutorials with a rather upbeat scholar of Pokemon cards and learn everything you’ll ever need to know to play the game. The dialogue and voice work here isn’t amazing, but it’s also not bad whatsoever. I kept reminding myself that this was a tutorial/game meant for the youngest of players, so with that in mind all I can say is the voice work is perfectly sharp and the tutorials aren’t overbearing to the point of frustration. A few refresher courses never hurt anyone.

For instance, quick refresher: That punk Sandshrew is about to be raqwked by my Bayleef.

It wasn’t until I dove into the single player aspect of the game that I started to see the cracks and the glimmers beneath the surface. The basic challenge pits you against 12 opponents in a leaderboard where defeating one will unlock the next. Once you take out all 12, you unlock a new leaderboard of 12, then another, and I’m not sure if there’s anything past that. Right from the get-go you have the option between three basic decks that you can switch between whenever you’d like. They are just basic Fire, Water, and Grass decks, but they’re not the worst. They’re also not the best.

What it took me a bit to understand (and unfortunately for how good the tutorials are at teaching you to play the game they’re terrible when it comes to explaining the interface) is that there are another half-dozen or so specialty decks you can unlock, but the way to unlock them is by buying the physical, real world decks and using a promo code found in the box to unlock them in the online game. So for me, that meant I’m using the loaner three decks.

For being simple single-energy decks, they’re not terrible, but the ability to customize your deck is entirely removed. You are at the whim of the computer presets that determine what our decks are comprised of, and only by beating the first 12 opponents with each deck can you unlock it to your collection of cards, which can be used in multiplayer.

Hooray for unlocks!

I’ll come back to multiplayer, but first I want to talk about that single player challenge some more. The AI never gave me any problems and usually functioned as competent opponents. The only glaring problem is that most, if not all games were little more than the luck of the draw. Every game seemed to play out by sheer chance as both my opponent and myself are optimizing hands perfectly, but who wins is decided entirely by luck. I’ve had games that last to a nail-biting finale, and a lot more that are over in three rounds or less.

This is more a complaint about the card game’s basic mechanics more than anything, but without the ability to customize my deck to best suit my needs, it really is all chance. If I draw three strong Pokemon, a couple energy cards, and a heavy evolution right away, while my opponent only has one active Pokemon, there’s a strong chance I’ll win pretty quick as long as he doesn’t draw another Pokemon to place on his bench. I don’t particularly feel like a brilliant tactician, but more like an opportunist taking advantage of a good hand. Were I to have the ability to form my own deck, victories would taste sweeter and defeats would sting more harshly. That is sadly not the case in the single player challenge.

Furthermore, the computer has decks that contain dual-types instead of my Podunk single-type decks, so it can put up a much bigger fight, usually only losing due to a bad draw on their part. They also seem to have some utter beasts ready to evolve right away, particularly the Fighting decks. Nothing’s more frustrating than a computer opponent that’s evolved a super powerful Pokemon in the first two moves, proceeding to then wreck your @$%& for the rest of the very short game.

I'm usually on the other end of an Arcanine reaming. Quite happy when I unlocked the card for my Basic Red deck instead of getting blasted in the second turn with BS.

However, these losses aren’t the end of the world, and after unlocking all three basic decks, your collection should have Fire, Water, Grass, and the standard Electric deck as well, allowing for a much deeper ability to customize. Plus, by unlocking those three basic decks, you’ve had a chance to see which Pokemon work best and which just aren’t worth the trouble. What you haven’t been able to do, though, is see which typing works best joined with one another. That will have to come during the multiplayer part it seems.

The greatest bit I’m upset about is the fact that Pokemon TCG Online isn’t on the 3DS at this moment. I would gladly pay upwards of $10 for this free online feature to migrate over to the 3DS as a download. It wouldn’t even need any major tweaks aside from some navigational overhauls (which the online version needs anyway). It’s apparent we’re not getting another dedicated TCG release on a system, but a boy can dream.

For what it is, the experience is enjoyable. Matches go extremely quick, even online, so it’s a fun game to just flip over to and play during a break session. And hey, for free, you can’t go wrong. I highly recommend it, despite the relatively broken game system. Now, go be the very best young Trainers you can be! May the luck of the draw be on your side!

You're darn right, Mick. Now go get a real job and stop challenging my superior luck abilities.

It's just you, a shovel and an endless world. What do you do?

When people make the difference

I started playing Minecraft back in the summer after some friends coaxed me into buying it to play with them online. Much to my surprise, Minecraft hooked me pretty quickly. I played it hard for a while and then it kind of fell by the wayside as games often do. It was quickly “just another game” that I could go back and play if the mood struck me…that was until my wife started playing Minecraft…and then friends at work started playing. In the past week I’ve “sold” four copies of Minecraft without much effort. It’s great having all these people to play with on a common server but what’s been even better is watching a bunch of (relatively) non-gamers get into a very unique game.

Let’s face it, true gamers will play anything. I’m a lifelong gamer and I’ll play just about any game you throw in front of me. That doesn’t mean I’ll like it, but I’ll try it…it’s what you have to do to be a good gamer. But when you’re talking about non-gamers it is an entirely different story. Casual players will often make their decisions based on appearance alone and once they find their favorite genre they won’t stray far. This is why I’ve found Minecraft‘s appeal quite fascinating. It’s not an action-adventure game where you’re shooting bad guys or saving princesses, but it’s not a puzzle game either, at least not in the sense of an Angry Birds or Bejeweled. Then what’s so appealing about a game that has no real goals to people that don’t really play many games? I decided to ask the three people that recently started Minecraft with me; two co-workers, Michael and Josh, and my wife, Jen.

The tale of the non-gamers

Q: Just to get some background, where on the gamer spectrum do you put yourself? Casual, hardcore…how often do you play games, regardless of device or game genre? What type of games do you typically play when you do?

Michael: I used to play a lot of games on the Playstation and PC, but mostly top-down strategy games and stuff. I still have DosBox running Master of Magic and a few other old favs. I have a PS3 with five or six games, and I play like five or six hours a week on that, mostly on the weekends. I buy like two games a year on that once I get really sick of one of the ones I have. I would probably play more games if I had more time. I go on binges when I have a day off or something. I play a lot of games on my iPhone, again mostly strategy stuff. I probably spend an hour a day playing games on the iPhone. Strategery is my current fav. I’m okay at it. The bottom line is that I’m really not very good at most video games, so I don’t play online much or anything. Except baseball simulators: those I’m good at.

Josh: When I was in High school I played games a lot. Racing simulation games, adventure games, and occasionally shooter games, all on consoles. College was same genres/devices but less playing. Since I got married I haven’t really played video games until Minecraft. I guess that makes me super casual? Minecraft is actually the first PC game that I’ve gotten into.

Jen: I consider myself to be a casual gamer. I usually play time management games or games like Words with Friends and Angry Birds. I play Words with Friends for a few minutes daily but that is probably the only game I play every day. I also go through phases when I like playing The Sims. Since getting a DS and then an iPhone, I tend to prefer quick games that I can play on those devices.

In this group we have a true casual gamer and two ex-gamers (lets call them retired). It’s safe to say we all had more time to play games when we were back in school, before life caught up with us, and that makes Minecraft even more baffling to me in many ways. Minecraft isn’t a traditional arcade game loaded with quick decisions or drawn out strategy, and Minecraft certainly isn’t Angry Birds. So if our time is limited thanks to family and full-time jobs, why are they investing time into Minecraft?

There, in the distance...Josh's mega castle. An impessive site to discover.

The allure of Minecraft

Q: So  you heard me and others talking about and playing Minecraft. What about that raised your curiosity in the game? What looked interesting about the game to try it out?

Michael: The fact that there isn’t much of a point to it and it isn’t too competitive. Again, I’m not great at video games, but I do have a lot of time to kind of half pay attention to something. The fact that you are in a multiplayer environment where you can just sort of fool around and make stuff sort of collaboratively…or not. It also looked well suited to the fact that I rarely have large chunks of time to dedicate to a game solely. I’m usually just sort of half paying attention while doing other things.

Josh: I’ve always loved making things and loved playing with LEGO and SimCity when I was younger. I saw you playing and it reminded me of LEGO/SimCity but with the twist of it being first person. I gave it a go and got hooked pretty quickly. I actually played for 5 hours straight my first time (until 3 in the morning!).

Jen: I prefer games that I can play on a PC or on my iPhone and Minecraft is something I can play on my PC. I was mostly interested in the building aspect. It seemed simple enough to start playing so I thought it would be worth looking at. At the risk of sounding lazy, I’m not into games enough to want to spend a lot of time learning how to start a game. Minecraft seemed simple enough to just start playing.

The building aspect of Minecraft is apparently the biggest draw, especially if the game can suck you in until the wee hours of the morning. Minecraft appears casual with a low barrier of entry but like any good game, the depth of challenge slowly reveals itself until you find yourself buying an iPhone app that does nothing but act as a reference book (true story, Jen bought it).

I also find it very interesting that Michael cites the lack of competition within Minecraft as a perk. Most video games revolve around competition, whether through high scores or levels passed or items collected. Minecraft doesn’t explicitly suggest any of these concepts so the motivation to play is entirely self-generated, which is also one of the great things about the game. Not to be too overly zen or anything but the only true challenge in Minecraft is to challenge one’s self…which is often a tough gimmick to sell.

What kid doesn't want their own treehouse?

How long will the magic last?

All this is fine and dandy but we all know new games have a honeymoon period. Games are fun because they’re a new toy to play with, and in the case of Minecraft it’s a very different experience than what you’re used to playing. These three Minecrafters are big into the game right now after only a week or so, but how long will the fun last? Does Minecraft have real replayability or will the magic wear off once you build the ultimate skyscraper or dig the world’s largest hole?

Q: You’re still new to Minecraft so there’s a certain novelty right now. How long do you think you’ll keep playing before the fun starts to wear thin…or will it keep being fun?

Michael: I thought about that before I forked over the money. I sort of equate it to the iPhone games I buy for less than $10. A few have been great games that I keep replaying even though they are just the same thing over and over, like Lux Touch which is a Risk emulator with decent AI opponents, and Strategery more recently. The games I keep playing are hard enough that they remain challenging, but easy enough that I do stand a chance. To me, the replayability depends on continuing to feel like it’s a fun puzzle to work out, or there are new strategies to be experimented with. I don’t know yet if there are elements to Minecraft that keep it challenging as you progress, or if there are different strategies to pursue or anything, so I don’t know if I’ll still be playing it in a month or three, but I get the sense that they keep adding new stuff to it, so that could help. Who knows? I still play Master of Magic, and that came out in the mid-nineties.

Josh: This is a question that I’m interested in too. I don’t know if it will still be interesting after I’ve finished [building my castle]. I know that I need to explore more, and want to see what it’s like to play more socially (i.e. explore, build with others) and to play on harder difficulty. I like that the game continues to evolve and updates seem to come reasonably quickly. The game definitely has a good time killing-to-fun ratio, and I like that.

Jen: This is hard for me to say right now. I tend to get bored with games easily, but because the game is somewhat limitless (i.e. always a mob to fight, massive maps to explore) I think it will hold my interest for a while.

It might not be much, but it's home.

The science of Minecraft

It doesn’t sound like the jury isn’t in yet on the longevity of Minecraft but with so many different ways to approach the game I think it’s safe to say everyone will be coming back to it on a regular basis…although maybe not for five hours at a time. One of the most enjoyable aspects of Minecraft is the seemingly “simple” challenges you have to deal with…like not getting lost. In watching and guiding these new players around the game, one of the most common struggles is not getting lost. How do you maintain a sense of direction without a map or directions? A challenge most of us don’t have to deal with on a daily basis in real life nor often in virtual life, and Minecraft gives you the opportunity to explore that challenge. Some of them dug trenches like sidewalks, others placed torches like crumbs and some erected towers that could be seen from a distance…all effective strategies but all different.

Playing with a bunch of new players in a shared world has been a wonderful study in gaming and social behavior that I’ve found to be another game within the game. For example, one thing all three of them did when they started was to just dig straight down until they reached the bottom. This fascinated me because I never did that…it never really entered my mind to try, so why did they all do this? Was it because they are non-gamers without much exposure to common gaming conventions that might suggest otherwise? Or was it because they just wanted to see if it was endless? One of them has built a huge castle that can be seen for miles. Another seems to prefer smaller bunker-style dwellings while another just seems to enjoy wandering the great outdoors. Each behavior most certainly relates to their personality and problem solving techniques, and out of all the games I’ve played over the years, few expose this as well as Minecraft.

The Minecraft virus

My enthusiasm for Minecraft may have coaxed my friends and family into buying the game and playing it with me (a dedicated server didn’t hurt either), but will their gaming experience go on to infect their friends?

Q: When someone asks you about Minecraft and you have to explain to them what the game is, what will you tell them? Would you recommend the game?

Michael: I will recommend it because I’ll be looking for more people to play with. I think of it as a huge shared world where you can explore and make things and discover weird stuff. It’s really low stakes and open ended.

Josh: I tell them that it’s like playing LEGO and SimCity at the same time, with the added challenge of a smidgen of fighting. I definitely recommend the game to someone who I could see being interested in this type of game.

Jen: I will recommend the game. I would describe Minecraft as a game that can be played independently or with others. I would also explain to prospective players that you can set your own goals. You can focus on mining, hunting, collecting items or fighting the mobs.

If any of that holds true then it sounds like my group of Minecraft friends may grow quite a bit in the near future, and that is always welcomed. Minecraft is a game that can be a lot of fun playing solo with a near-endless amount of challenge, but playing this type of game with others is a not only just a lot of fun: it can be a real study in human behavior as well. I’ve also found that Minecraft is a great equalizer when it comes to gaming ability. My years of hardcore gaming doesn’t help much when it comes to Minecraft. In fact, it might be a disadvantage. Minecraft‘s barebones approach really puts experienced gamers and casual gamers on the same level for once. The one thing, and maybe only thing, that separates its players is creative problem solving…but then again, what problem are you trying to solve?

Even well made games like Dodonpachi suffer on a phone.

Give me buttons or give me death

I loved my Nintendo DS. It got a lot of use and there were a lot of great games, everything from point-n-click puzzlers to good old fashioned arcade games. Then my DS kicked the bucket. I tried to repair it but that didn’t work out so well. I debated whether or not to get another one but then I got my smartphone and that was the last time I saw my DS. I declared the phone as my new gaming handheld and waited for game makers to catch up. They did but it’s still not the same and I’m having some serious mobile gamer withdrawl.

Mobile gaming is the hot space right now and we’re seeing lots of developers put out some big games. There are many titles from my favorites genres are out there, like Dodonpachi from Cave, but despite the pedigree going into these titles, one thing kills them all: bad controls. I have yet to find a single game that has decent touch controls. I’m not talking about the Angry Birds or Plants vs Zombies as they are point-n-click games that lend themselves to touch behavior. I’m talking about games that are meant to be played with buttons.

Super Crate Box is a great game but fails on the phone.

Super Crate Box

The great indie game Super Crate Box was recently released on the iPhone and I was excited to see it in the app store. I have Super Crate Box on the PC and have played it for hours on end with much delight. It’s a simple retro-style arcade game that asks you to collect boxes while trying to stay alive. Inside each box is a different gun that you can use to make things a little easier. Some guns are great, some are less than optimal, but therein lies the fun and challenge.

Super Crate Box requires only four buttons…left, right, jump and shoot…pretty simple, but when you put even those basic controls on a touchscreen they suck. The lack of tactile feedback in the way of buttons is a killer for any game that requires quick movements, and most games do. But you have to make do with what you’ve got, so touchscreen buttons it is…except for one bigger problem: their location on the screen. The game fills the screen, which means your buttons sit on top of the game board and that doesn’t bode well for you when your big thumbs are pressing them. This is especially troublesome in a game that randomly drops boxes for you to seek out, often behind your thumb where you can’t see it.

It’s a huge bummer that such a fun game suffers from a seemingly simple flaw, yet it’s one that is hard to fix and plagues many games. But without buttons, what’s a developer to do? The logical option would be to reduce the size of the game screen so there is some sort of button bar, but at the same time you really don’t want to make an already small screen even smaller. It’s a tough spot to be in but there’s a simple solution. I know mobile gaming is crazy popular right now. Everyone has a phone and people are throwing one dollar bills left and right to buy apps, and stories like Angry Birds is hard to ignore. I get all that, but just because mobile gaming is the hot spot right now is not an excuse to neglect other platforms, particularly the console.

Don’t stop making console games

Super Crate Box started as a PC title, so if I want to play it without technical frustration, I can, but I’m still on my PC. I’d rather be on my couch in front of my Xbox. Some games lend themselves to a PC, some don’t…most don’t. Super Crate Box is one of those games that is so well designed that it can work anywhere (assuming you have buttons to press). Great games like these need to get over whatever hang-ups they have about consoles and just do it. You can cite all the Xbox indie game woes you want, but as easy as it is now to get a game on the console marketplaces there is little excuse not to do so.

Super Crossfire is a great game...on the Xbox, not on a phone.

Will you make more money in the app store or on Steam? The data says yes, so go ahead and put your game there…but put them on consoles too. Put your game everywhere you can. When you have a good product, the game will speak for itself and do the job for you. A good game is a good game. Good games rise up passed all the crap avatar games. It might be a smaller audience in places like the Xbox marketplace but the crowd that is there is far more likely to buy games and recommend them to their friends. It’s really frustrating seeing a lot of great games get released exclusively on the iPhone or on Steam. I’m a console gamer and I’m always starved for more great arcade games.

Games like Super Crate Box are just begging to be on Xbox arcade…or at least as an indie spotlight. Despite my love for the game, I feel like I wasted my dollar buying Super Crate Box for the iPhone. Not because it’s not a great game but because I can’t play the game I wanted. We can only hope that they’ll release an update that repositions the buttons or something. But what I really hope for is to see these games on my big screen television.

You ready for one more lap?

An important side note, I read a handful of reviews from other sites, specifically Destructoid, so when Jim Sterling gave his impressions of Mario Kart 7, effectively waggling a disapproving finger and deciding it was underwhelming, my first and only reaction was overreaction, claiming, “Well he just doesn’t like the series! There’s no way he’d give it a 5 out of 10 if he were being fair and actually knew what he was talking about! Hurdy gurdy bur!” This was all internal of course, but now I can say, very politely to Jim, “I disagree…to a point.”

Mario Kart 7 is a fine game. It’s a fine Mario Kart game. It’s a fantastic game for the 3DS and demonstrates its capabilities wonderfully. And it is indeed a franchise that’s showing its age in places, which I’ll get in to momentarily. But before I nit-pick and complain, I’d like to cover what the game did right.

Graphically, Mario Kart 7 again proves that the 3DS looks great and plays smoothly. Everything looks technically sound as you peel around corners and select through menus. The controls are tight and driving feels good. However, as a protip, make sure you’re aware that you can use both the L button and the X button for items. It took me a while to realize that X works just as good, so I’ve had quite a cramp in my hand from holding the system awkwardly.

I keep hearing over and over again that the real stars of the series are the tracks, and once more they don’t disappoint when it comes to new environments, for the most part. The coolest new addition is the use of sectional tracks rather than just circuits, meaning instead of just going around three times, you move through three checkpoints until you cross the finish line, allowing for a much greater sense of variety within the same race. I love that, but it sadly only happens three times. I would have gladly taken more.

This would work in real life...right? Please say yes!

Also new is the ability to hang glide at certain points, a welcome gameplay change that just feels right, plus a propeller that kicks in once you’re submerged that controls slightly differently than the other two kart forms. I found myself enjoying the underwater portions just as much as the rest, though they won’t be for everyone.

Finally, the new items are worthy of the game and mix things up appropriately. There is a fire flower powerup that allows you to hurl a bunch of fireballs at opponents, similar to Mario and Luigi’s signature weapons from Double Dash!!, as well as the tanooki tail, a powerup that takes some getting used to but that fits right in and works great in the harder races where everyone’s neck-and-neck.

But things aren’t all perfect. Despite the fluid controls, fun tracks, pretty graphics, and outstanding online modes (all there is to say about them is that they work just as well as the Mario Kart DS’s online modes worked), there’s a lot to be desired. Mario Kart 7 feels rather short, even though it’s the same length as the other Mario Kart games. It has eight cups with four tracks each, totaling 32 tracks, 17 characters, dozens of kart pieces to customize your play style, six battle maps, and four gameplay modes, but something still feels extremely lacking, and it may be because the title touts the fact that it’s the 7th game in the series.

See, when playing the new tracks, I thought, “These are great, but sadly there aren’t enough to really sink in.” While there are some standouts, such as the aforementioned sectional courses, we still waste time with the usual simple circuits early on or the uninteresting throwaway levels. But then you play the cups that revolve around tracks from past games and scratch your head, asking “Why this one?”

And why can't this tail make me fly?

I’m greedy, but I don’t think it’s unfair to want everything and more. I want a Mario Kart game with every previous track on it, every playable character, every item, every possible bit from the past. Why no more two-player kart action? Why no more bikes? Why only three new battle tracks and three fairly dull returns? Why not more, more, more?

But the biggest, most broken aspect of the games is the Blue Shell. I debated with myself on this one since it’s such a staple of the series, but now it’s just become a problem. Leading a race way out in front is not enjoyable because you become such a target for cheap shots from the computer. You’ll be absolutely killing in a race, zooming past the competition and just playing great, when all of a sudden you’ll hear the painful sound of the Blue Shell flying to get you and you’ll just get annoyed because there’s nothing you can do to avoid it short of stockpiling a Starman powerup, which you’ll never get if you’re in 1st place.

I get that the purpose of these super items is to allow other players a chance to catch up, or give you the ability to really stick it to the computer in the event that you’re losing, but the Blue Shell, the lightning, the Bullet Bill, all happen far too frequently to really feel like a hail Mary. Instead, they just come off as the computer punishing you for playing well. Nothing is worse than closing in on the home stretch, only to be blasted by a Blue Shell, then hit by lightning, then bumped off the track by other racers, and ending up going past the finish line in last place when you’ve been solid in 1st the entirety of the race. That’s broken and it should have been fixed by now, or at least given the option to turn it off.

That may be the heart of what I want here: I want a Super Smash Bros of Mario Kart. I want the ultimate compendium with races, battles, challenges, and full player control. I want options to nix certain items, or even build custom courses. When will we get that game? Perhaps not for a while, and that’s a shame.

At least there's more motion controls, which is what we were hoping for...

To cap this off, I’ll give you a rundown of the order I place the Mario Kart games. Way out in first is Mario Kart DS, followed closely by Double Dash!!, then Mario Kart 64, Mario Kart 7, Mario Kart Wii, Super Mario Kart, and finally Super Circuit. I suppose that means I’d place it right smack-dab in the middle of things then, huh? It’s not the best, it’s not the worst, it’s just there. Mario Kart 7 is a placeholder until something better comes along. Here’s hoping we won’t have to wait forever.

Don't let that nose fool you; Link is a stone-cold badass here.

I got Skyward Sword at the end of November as a birthday present and since then I’d expect to be utterly finished with it, what with it being a month removed from my first getting it and it being a highly-anticipated Zelda game. And yet, for some reason I’m not playing it tonight. To be frank, I haven’t played it for over a week, and I’m not even half way through it yet. Instead, I took a two-week diversion to replay Zelda II on my 3DS thanks to the Ambassador Program.

For a Zelda game, the plot is actually somewhat original compared to other entries. Not only that, but no Zelda game since has replicated the gameplay style. Instead of the top-down perspective seen in the original Legend of Zelda or A Link to the Past, Zelda II is an action sidescroller. Link gets an item in each temple, but it can’t be used other than on the overworld map to break boulders or see in caves. The items are actually just pretty unimportant other than a means to access the next temple.

The whole game here revolves around a very simple combat mechanic. Link can stab with his sword while standing or crouched, plus can learn an upward and downward thrust attack. Beyond a few basic magic spells (you’ll get really friendly with Heal pretty quick), that’s about all you’ll need to know, but mastering the combat is a trip that’s vastly rewarding.

And you'd better master it quick or you're going to get rawked.

It’s all based on the risk/reward system, perpetuated even more by experience points. For the first and only time ever, Link can level up, thus getting more health, magic, or sword strength, but in order to level up you have to earn enough points before running out of lives. Lose all your lives and it’s game over, meaning you lose all the experience points you haven’t banked. So then, should you press your luck and fight through some Darknuts in the next temple, or play it safe and level grind in the woods on weaker enemies?

Going back to that plot, things are kind of strange here. Ganon is dead and only makes an appearance if Link gets a game over as Ganon’s followers are trying to resurrect him using Link’s blood. I mentioned how dark that was a while ago, yes? Okay. The point is, there isn’t even an ultimate villain that’s trying to kill Link or threatening the land. Princess Zelda, the original that the legend is based on, is asleep and needs to be awoken via the Trifoce. Link has the Triforces of Power and Wisdom as collected in the previous game, but the Triforce of Courage awaits him at the end of this one. Stranger still, Link doesn’t pick up a new piece or gem or medallion or anything when he beats a temple. Rather, he places a stone into a statue, effectively making this the only Zelda game of knowledge where the point is to leave the temple with less than you took in.

I really like the idea of the whole game not being a quest to defeat a boss character, but an extended metaphor for showing courage and conquering one’s own dark side. The clencher is the final temple known as the Great Palace, probably the single hardest Zelda dungeon ever designed due to the sheer brutality of it all. After slogging through the toughest enemies of the game, you finally reach the bottom and fight the terrifying Thunderbird, the guardian of the Triforce of Courage. Upon destroying it, you move into a room where a little man, possibly the Old Man from the first game, separates you from your shadow. And Dark Link is born! The fight is unbelievably difficult, especially after just coming from a boss fight and the death march through the Great Palace (unless you know the trick of crouching in the corner and stabbing at his knees).

Trust me on this one: The combat is solid and if you're dying too much, it's your own fault. And because Zelda II is stupid-hard.

Only after defeating his literal dark side can Link possess the entirety of the Triforce and awaken Princess Zelda. Think of the annoying fetch quest for the Triforce shards in The Wind Waker but elongate it into the entire story and remove the annoying fetch quest part. Making the plot essentially feel like a side quest from another Zelda game actually makes this more enjoyable for me since it’s so far outside the norm. Hey, variety is good sometimes.

Seeing as how this is an NES game made by Nintendo, you have more than enough methods to currently play it. If you don’t have access to the original cartridge, which itself is easily found for under $10, you can download it from the Wii’s Virtual Console, try and find it on the GameCube’s special Legend of Zelda Collector’s Edition disc, snag it on the Game Boy Advance, or most recently unwrap it via the 3DS’ Ambassador Program (perhaps you’re a member and just haven’t downloaded Zelda II or played it yet). So many ways to play it, no excuse not to.

And that’s really all there is to say. It’s a challenging title since it was built back in the days of Nintendo Hard, so don’t expect to get very far without some basic skills and a walkthrough. Beyond that though, don’t miss out on this gem just because you keep hearing it’s the “bad” Zelda game. It’s not. It’s one of the better Zelda games. Now Phantom Hourglass, boy, there was a bad Zelda game. Discuss.

Now to start this, we need a big fish to put on the hot seat, and I know just the one.

Disney: Bring Back Animation

Disney, I’m sure you’re having fun with all your Live Action Fairy Tale Remakes, Tron reboots, Pirates sequels, CGI Chihuahuas, and the fact that you get to call the biggest superhero film of the year one of your movies because you now own Marvel, apparently, but for the love of Fantasia stop killing the hearts of all the [now grown up] children that willingly gave you their hearts in the first place so that you could build your empire to what it is now! What hurt the most was how you tricked me into wholeheartedly believing you were finally back on track two years ago with The Princess and the Frog. I loved that film. And then you showed me a teaser for your next project, Repunzel, and it looked awesome. Then out of the blue, it turned into Tangled, a derivative wannabe-Dreamworks-film that wasn’t nearly as good as Dreamworks’ How To Train Your Dragon, releasing earlier that same year. Then you sort of did try to make a comeback last summer, but it was in the form of a Winnie the Pooh revival, which you obviously didn’t intend anyone to see in the first place, seeing as you released it the same freakin’ weekend as the last freakin’ Harry Potter movie, as if you were too freakin’ embarrassed you made it in the first place so you didn’t bother giving it a release date where it could make so much as a splash of publicity.

To get to the point, Disney, return to form, and make us another hand-drawn animated hit already! I don’t care if The Princess and the Frog didn’t make as much money as you wanted it too. The people who saw it and liked it really really liked it, and if you kept up that throwback style in your recent films (i.e. kept Tangled’s original art concept, followed by another animated movie last year that WASN’T an old school revival and DEFINITELY NOT releasing side by side Harry Potter 8) more people would eventually have caught wind of the trend and these movies would be making so much more in the long run. Am I making any sense at all?

Oh, and while you’re at it, don’t force the only Computer Animation studio under your belt who knows what the Hades they’re doing to make sequels of their weakest movies just because they happen to be the most marketable.

Funimation: Bring One Piece Unto the People

You know what I’m sick of? That One Piece, the worldwide greatest and bestselling Anime of the current generation, isn’t even playing on any network, standard or cable, in American Television. Meanwhile you have shows like Naruto and Bleach, which do the exact same thing this show does but not as well (while replacing Pirates with Ninjas or Samurai Grim Reapers respectively), and they have 200+ episodes each fully available for instant stream on Netflix. WTF Funimation? You even have an entire cable network where all you show is Anime you licensed, yet you can’t find anywhere in your busy schedule of rerunning Samurai 7, Claymore, and Shikabane Hime over and over again to give One Piece one decent slot of the week? The only way Americans can watch One Piece legally now is by either scavenging for the very rare very expensive DVD collections, or through your website, which would be fine if you had every single current episode available, but you don’t because you only have a chunk of the beginning of the series, a chunk of the end of the series, with a ton of mid way sections simply not available, not to mention your online video player is of the lowest quality. I want to support this series properly, but I’m stuck having to pirate my anime about pirates from pirate torrents, whom, by the way, also happen to be infinitely better translators than you. [Pranger's Note: Oh snaps! You just been told Funimation!]

Oh, what’s that? You guys finally got the license to dub Season 4? Awesome, now you’ll only be five seasons and 300 episodes behind the Japanese run of the show, congratulations. Of course, none of it will matter unless you make One Piece available stateside to begin with. Here are two simple things you can do: First, spare a single half-hour slot of the week on your TV network for the show, and not some throwaway one either but a good one, like Friday evenings. Second, put at least the first two seasons on Netflix for instant streaming. I want to recommend this show to people and give it more viewers, but I can’t because there is no accessible way to watch this show. Change that Funimation. I’m counting on you.

One more thing. While you guys are busy dubbing Season 4 as we speak (ideally), please please get new refreshing voice talent to play each of the CP9 agents. Seriously, these are some of the strongest and most iconic villains the Strawhat Pirates will ever face, and they deserve justice. I’m sick of hearing the same 20 voice actors you use for side characters being recycled over and over and over again.

Parker and Stone: More Musicals Please

Any of you seen The Book of Mormon yet? Of course you haven’t. It’s been sold out on Broadway every showing since its incarnation, though you may have heard the music and Holy Crap it may very well be the greatest thing I’ve ever heard. I already have a handful of Theatre friends agreeing to all go see the show together when it goes on tour.

The two people responsible for this divine piece of theatrical genius are none other than South Park creators Trey Parker and Matt Stone. How’s that for a twist? My hope is that with the success of The Book of Mormon, that they continue in this business a bit longer and make more awesome musicals.

A friend of mine recommended The Book of Scientology as a sequel, and if I wasn’t so fearful of their lives by doing so, I’d second that in a heartbeat. In reality, these guys have probably the biggest imaginations in the world, and if they can come up with another clever idea that wont earn them another hundred thousand death threats, I say go for it.

Sony Pictures: Show Me The Lizard

So far, all the buzz on this summer’s upcoming Spider-Man reboot, The Amazing Spider-Man, has me, more or less, underwhelmed. I know Andrew Garfield is a good actor and was awesome in The Social Network, but I just can’t stand seeing Peter Parker with Edward Cullen’s hair style. It also doesn’t help that every shot we’ve seen him in so far he has the same dark emo look on his face like he constantly has a picture of dead puppies ingrained in his head. It’s not the silly campy kind of angst that we got from Toby Maguire’s performance either; it’s just dull and depressing.

Though after nitpicking it for several months now, I’m willing to withhold any more judgment until I see the final product. After all, this film will finally give us the movie debut of The Lizard, one of Spider-Man’s oldest and most iconic antagonists. I am very curious to see how they pull him off. My hope is that he looks like the lizard from the classic 90’s cartoon that wore the torn up white lab coat, had a seven foot long tail that that could smash stone walls, and where he could speak, but very little, and only to people close enough to him where his humanity is able to temporarily take control.

And unlike the photo above, I want to see a full-blown reptilian head. It’s not suppose to look remotely human.

Beenox: Make The Amazing Spider-Man game Amazing

Spider-Man movies are just about the only instance when I will get excited about movie-tie-in games these days. This is thanks mostly in part to Spider-Man 2 The Movie The Game becoming just about the best Comic Book Superhero Sandbox Game to date. (Before any of you start screaming how much better Batman Arkham City is, yes, I’ll admit it has better combat, story, voice acting, visuals, mission variety, combat again, and just about every other element, but when it comes to free roaming, Spidey’s web swinging still takes the cake.)

Spider-Man games these days are under the supervision of a somewhat newer development team called Beenox, and I just so happen to have played both their two latest Spider-Man games. While I did miss the open world aspect of the previous games, 2010’s Shattered Dimension was a ton of fun. Great level design, simple but intriguing story, awesome voice work, and I was into the combat. 2011’s Edge of Time however, not so much. Rule Number #1 of making Spider-Man games: DO NOT set an entire Spider-Man game in a single building where every room looks exactly the same and is connected with narrow hallways. That was a horrible idea.

The Amazing Spider-Man game, however, looks like a different story. Given the teaser trailer we received during the Award show a few weeks ago, it looks like a return to form, by which I mean open world Manhattan. Beenox already has a pretty decent combat system. All they really need to focus on is creating enough to do in the sandbox and giving us a good variety of villain characters we may not have seen yet. While not a ton of detail about the game has been released, one enemy they have shown are these massive mechanical spider bots, which immediately make me think of the Spider Slayers from the 90’s cartoon, so you’ve got my interest there. Make this one a winner Beenox. Please.

Microsoft/Rare: Make Banjo-Kazooie 3

Okay, by now you all know me. I’m the Sony guy, not a Microsoft guy. I do not own a 360. But that doesn’t mean that I don’t want the company to do well. I wish I could say that there are things on the 360 I desperately wish I could play, but honestly, I can’t. I have no desire to try the Kinect, and I am more than content not playing the most recent Halo and Gears of War titles. Besides that, everything else the 360 has of value can also be found on the PS3.

And yet, Microsoft has probably my second favorite game developer under their belt, Rare Software. When they announced a brand new Banjo-Kazooie game back in 2008, that was probably as envious as I have ever gotten of people who own the console. Of course, said game turned out to be Nuts&Bolts, and that envy quickly faded away as I started playing through Little Big Planet. As of now, Microsoft has Rare working on Kinect Sports titles, which honestly I think is a waste of their talent. This is the company that almost single-handedly created the golden age of 3D Platforming two generations ago. Compare that to what they’re doing now and it’s embarrassing.

Yeah, that’s right, I WANT to be jealous of my friends who own 360’s. Rare, you have the power to do that. Go back to the drawing board, write off Nuts&Bolts as a non-cannon spinoff, and make Banjo-Kazooie 3 properly. If not that, than how about a sequel to Conker’s Bad Fur Day? Or even Kameo Elements of Power, you know that 360 launch game that no one remembers except me? I bet if you made a sequel and advertised it well enough, that would help the original sell better.

Nintendo/Retro: Make a Sequel to DK Country Returns

Speaking of Rare, the franchise that introduced me to the company was Donkey Kong Country, a trilogy of some of the best looking 2D platformers on the Super Nintendo. Unfortunately when Rare got bought by Microsoft ten years ago, the Nintendo owned franchise had been long abandoned. Then in 2010, it was picked up by Nintendo’s American company, Retro Studios, who gave us Donkey Kong Country Returns.

While I have my gripes about the plot (namely how the series’ central antagonists, the Kremlings, were completely absent), the game itself was a much welcomed treat. While it was an overall critical success, it wasn’t exactly the big holiday seller Nintendo was hoping for (debuting in 3rd place in Japan and 6th place in America). Despite that, I do hope Retro decides to stay with the franchise a bit longer. If they made a sequel with a much more in-depth plot that brought back the Kremlings and other side characters like Funky Kong, Candy Kong, and other classic animal characters besides just Rambi the Rhino, I’m sure it would do a ton better.

Currently, Retro Studios is working on a secret title for the Wii U that is, quote, “A project everyone wants us to do.” My best guess would be a statement like that most likely means it’s an HD Metroid Game, as it was the Prime Trilogy that made the company famous in the first place, and fans seem to generally like their work on the franchise. My hope, however, is that they really are sticking with DK for a while. Though I could be wrong on both counts.

Nickelodeon: Give Legend of Korra a freaking Release Date

We’re coming up to two years since the first announcement of The Last Airbender: The Legend of Korra. The more I think about it, perhaps Mike and Bryan may have shown this ahead of schedule simply to wipe the bad taste the movie left in our mouths. (Yes, I am done trying to massage the idea that the movie wasn’t as bad as it really turned out to be, okay? Okay. Moving on.) While I definitely appreciate Nick releasing post finale comics while we wait (The Promise Part 1 comes out in February and Part 2 in June), and there was certainly a ton of information given on the series’ characters and plot threads in the last Comic Con, but they failed to give us that one thing we want more than any of that, which is a confirmation date.

Not long ago, there were some troubles with the opening segment of the show being leaked online, which the creators humbly requested to have taken off the fan sites. Normally I’d be on any leaked footage like a pack of rabid rabbitwolves (God knows I was during Book 3), but these days, I have learned to conserve my anticipation and wait for a proper reveal.

More than anything, I would choose being given a solid release date over any new footage during this years Comic Con. You know, because I got premiere parties to plan.

World: Don’t Die

Okay, so this technically doesn’t have anything to do with the entertainment industry, except for the fact that the media has had more than its fair share of fun poking at the 2012-Doomsday-Apocalypse-as-Predicted-by-the-Mayan-Prophecy marketing campaign. For those of you still thick enough to buy into this propaganda, please permit me to quote the following:

“The world is not coming to an end in 2012. The Mayan calendar does not have **** to say about 2012. It does not say the world is going to end. The Mesoamerican Long Count Calendar just sort of stops there. Other calendars from the same period and the same people have nothing of **** to say on the matter. It’s just bad new age numerology combined with a misreading of an old stone tablet.”

Dr. Punchy Wright____Idiotologist

And with that, I give the easiest resolution in my entire list: Planet Earth, do not die. When December 21st comes along this year, under no circumstances are you allowed to just start spontaneously combusting. In addition, for that one day, you are  not allowed to have any encounters with asteroids, alien invasions, or nuclear wars. Don’t act like you have no effect on human behavior. You shape us more than you know.

But you know what, as important as it is for the planet to survive, it will mean absolutely nothing if a certain someone does not. And so for that, I have something even more important, and even easier, than the earth not dying, and that is…

Eiichiro Oda: Same thing

One Piece, the most popular manga in the world, has officially entered its 15th year of serialization, with a current count of 651 chapters. Oda sensei was a year younger than I am right now when he published Chapter one in 1997. That puts him roughly in his late 30’s now, which honestly isn’t that old at all. He could probably keep this up for another 15 years if he wants to, and whatever his further plans are, I wouldn’t stop him and make him go a quicker route even if I could.

The point is we are in an age where there are people passing away in Japan, and their tomb stones have written on them, “I wish I could have seen the ending of One Piece.” That alone is sad in more reasons than I care to count, but if Oda were the one to pass away, before any of us get to see Zoro surpass his rival and master Hawkeye, before Nami completes her map of the world, before Robin discovers the mystery behind the 100 year void in history, before Brook is reunited with Laboon, before Monkey D. Luffy defeats Blackbeard, finds One Piece, returns the straw hat back to Shanks, and finally becomes the King of the Pirates, THAT would indeed be the biggest tragedy to ever befall modern mythology.

I could continue to go on about the plot threads and loose ends I wish for Oda to cover over the next year, but at this point, I trust his judgment 100%. As long as he’s alive, both physically and motivationally, and keeps doing his job, (i.e. continues making One Piece, thus making me and millions of other fans across the globe happy in the process), then I’m happy. By the end of 2011, Oda managed to all but close up the Fishman Island Arc. With Luffy challenging Big Mam, one of the four Pirate Emperors, for the control of the undersea kingdom, it appears the journey across the New World has barely begun. The tide’s only gonna get rougher from here, so stay tuned.

And with that, I give you the 2012 New Years Resolutions that are too much awesome for their own good. Some may be a tall order, while others are practically no brainers, but I have high expectations for all of them, so off you all go. Your clock to reach these goals started… yesterday. Good luck.

I’m not the biggest mainstream gamer but when it comes to the smaller (and cheaper) arcade and indie games, I’m all over it. Not only is the price point perfect, I find most of the smaller games a lot more fun and a lot more challenging. The arcade and indie games are also a lot more plentiful with weekly releases. With all the games it can be harder to find the good ones, but at least you don’t have to drop $60 to find them.

If you’re not a big arcade gamer, I ask that you do yourself a favor and try something different. There are lots of great games to play for not a lot of money. Maybe you don’t want to surf through all the massagers and avatar games, so it’s good for you that I have a list of some of the best arcade and indie games the Xbox had to offer in 2011.

Xbox Live Arcade

Picking only a few XBLA to highlight from this year was a difficult chore. At least a dozen great games came out this year that are all worth your money. Here’s a short list of the ones you need to buy across several genres.

Iron Brigade

If tower defense is your thing then you probably already have Iron Brigade (aka, Trenched) but rather than just place your towers and hope for the best, you get to march around in giant mechs fighting the bad guys at the same time. It’s a good blend of game types that works wonderfully and is a lot of fun. However, if sci-fi mechs isn’t your bag then check out Orcs Must Die! because it’s pretty much the same thing with swords, arrows and boiling oil.

Iron Brigade: part tower defense, all action.

Bastion

More often than not I shun the games that lay it on thick with the story, but Bastion is one of the few that hit a perfect balance of RPG and action…the awesome narrator certainly didn’t hurt either. Bastion is a throw back to the SNES days of adventure gaming that has exploration, lots of fighting and just enough inventory management to keep things interesting. Bastion is one of those games that reminded me that you don’t always need a high score to feel a sense of accomplishment.

Renegade Ops

Game remakes are usually a good thing to avoid and although Renegade Ops isn’t a true remake, if the old NES game Jackyl was going to be released today, this game is what it would be. Pick a Jeep and start blowing stuff up, it’s as simple as that. Renegade Ops has everything that would have made Jackyl all the more awesome. Selectable characters, upgrade trees, side missions and more…not to mention extra DLC. You won’t find anything new or innovating here but that’s okay because you’re not going to play this game to get a new experience; you’re going to play this game to relive the past as it should have been.

This is what Jackyl wanted to be.

Radiant Silvergun

Considered one of the holy grails of arcade shooters, Radiant Silvergun will complete the collection of any shmup fan. If you thought Ikaruga was a challenge then Radiant Silvergun might make you think again. Silvergun has one of the most complex chaining systems combined with a weapon system that makes old favorites like Gradius look tame. Radiant Silvergun is one of those games that separates the men from the boys. If you are one of the boys and Silvergun is a bit out of your league, try out Galaga Legions DX. It’s not a difficult as Silvergun but still a lot of fun and quite a challenge.

Stacking

At first glance, Stacking seems like an oddball game that just doesn’t fit anywhere. It’s not everyday you find a game based on Russian nesting dolls…but that’s kind of what drew me to it, it was a bit different even if only in appearance. Stacking is a puzzle adventure game that asks you to defeat the evil bad guy by stacking inside of other dolls, each with their unique special abilities. Stacking isn’t quite on the Katamari level of odd-yet-fun, but it’s close. If you’re looking for something different yet familiar, then Stacking is money well spent. There’s a hefty amount of replay value here too with lots of side quests, challenges and the all important achievement points.

Stacking: a little weird but a lot of fun.

Xbox Live Indie Games

It’s not hard to see the quality difference between XBLA games and the Indie games, but you’ll find a lot of great indie games that deliver on the fun even if they don’t deliver on the high end graphics or hours of game play. Indie games are the Xbox’s answer to game apps on your phone. Most indie games are under $5 so if you need a game to cleanse your palette, these are some great options.

Orbitron Revolution

Orbitron Revolution was a recent XBLIG release that I reviewed recently, so I won’t go into a lot of the details, but it’s safe to say Orbitron is one of the best playing and best looking indie games I’ve ever played. Orbitron builds on the arcade classic Defender to give you plenty of high score challenges. If you’re one of the people that poo-poos the often 8-bit look of indie games, this one will change your opinion.

Dead Pixels

Speaking of 8-bit gaming, Dead Pixels is just that with a lot of guns and zombies thrown in. Dead Pixels follows the classic beat-em up formula but instead of whoopin’ bad dudes with lead pipes, you’re blasting angry zombies with shotguns and Molotov cocktails. You’ll wander the streets of the city collecting coins that you’ll need to buy guns, ammo and health packs. There’s a lot more play here than you might think…and a lot more fun. I almost wrote this one off but I kept coming back for more.

Think these indie games are easy? Try surviving Dead Pixels.

Wizorb

What happens when you cross an RPG with Arkanoid? You get Wizorb. Yet another retro-style game that will put you right back in front of your NES deck, Wizorb is able to connect two genres wonderfully in a game that challenges you, frustrates you and keeps you playing until you’re done. You might be tired of the 8-bit look but Wizorb nails it perfectly along with sound and controls.

Cursed Loot

When it comes to RPGs, I need something simple and fast. I don’t like overly complex micromanagement of inventory or worrying about what NPC to talk to in the tavern…I just want to go, and Cursed Loot offers me just that. Formerly known as Epic Dungeon, this is a game that is all about grinding as you go from dungeon to dungeon mindlessly beating up more and more difficult baddies. But without much story, what’s the real goal? Just see how far you can get. And it shouldn’t surprise you that Cursed Loot sits squarely in the 8-bit category.

Mimi in the Sky

Unfortunately, if you search the Xbox Marketplace for “Mimi in the Sky” you won’t find anything. This weird dual-stick shooter is listed by its Japanese name so you’ll need to use this link to check it out and add it to your queue. I admit that getting passed the oddball theme of a flying insect girl fighting killer onions is difficult, but under the sketchbook graphics is a fast and furious high score shooter. You can’t judge all books by their covers.

Another weird Japanese game but it's non-stop shooter fun.

Aban Hawkins and the 1,000 Spikes

If you enjoy the “try and try again” puzzle platformers like Super Meatboy, then Aban Hawkins is right up your alley. Don’t get me wrong, this is no Meatboy but if you just can’t get enough of the genre, this one is worth a look. I find these games great for about 10 minutes, at which point I usually get incredibly frustrated and come near to throwing my controller down the street.

Mainstream isn’t the only place to have fun

I didn’t do any math but if you add up the cost of all these games it’ll probably be right around the price of one big box game. Sure, you don’t get the big budget graphics or sounds, and you don’t get 100 hours of game play, but you do get a lot of fun for a small price. You’ll have a library full of games that cross all sorts of genres, themes and styles. And if you’re burned out on multiplayer mayhem, any of these games are worth the price of admission.

Nintendo’s Heavy Hitters

It was pretty clear which titles Nintendo was leaning so heavily on this year.

The hardest part about rounding up everything for the Wii, 3DS, and DS systems this year is that Nintendo really didn’t try to outdo themselves whatsoever. Yes, there are some big exclusives, but overall things felt a little…barren. The year has now finished with Skyward Sword, Super Mario 3D Land, and Mario Kart 7, but other than Pokemon Black and White Versions on the DS in March and perhaps Ocarina of Time’s remake during the 3DS launch, there hasn’t been anything to really go on about.

Still, I should give the briefest summaries of the largest titles, starting with Skyward Sword. I’m up to the third dungeon and finding myself hard pressed to find time to play, not necessarily because I’m too busy but because my motivation to play is low, thanks entirely to Fi, the constant tutorial system that’s brought the game down from a solid recommendation to a cringe-worthy affair. Don’t misunderstand though, the game controls wonderfully and looks fantastic, but being forced to hold the game’s hand for so long, despite being a seasoned vet, is painful.

Super Mario 3D Land is an entirely different story. I can’t recommend it enough for Mario fans, platformer fans, or people with a 3DS and no clue why it’s so great. Super Mario 3D Land proves that the 3D function of the 3DS can truly be something special and walks that perfect line of fun and difficulty. As a Mario fan, I was able to complete the game 100%, but I know that such will not be the case with many other players. If you don’t have this game by now, then you must not have a 3DS.

Mario Kart 7 is much he same. I’m still waiting to get my copy, but that’s only because I had to wait until Christmas since there was a high chance someone was planning to get it for me. The consensus out there is that if you’re not tired with the Mario Kart formula, then Mario Kart 7 is one of the best games in the series with some of the absolute best tracks and an enjoyable hang gliding mechanic, whereas if you’re not really a fan or want something more advanced than Mario Kart DS, you’ll be disappointed. I loved Mario Kart DS and want its excellent wifi multiplayer back with a simple handheld game, so I’m set. Judge for yourself accordingly.

Pokemon Black and White Versions turned out to be predictably good and yet stagnant as always. I found myself sinking my teeth in once again and really finding a connection with some of the new faces, but still, it felt like the same old song and dance that we’ve seen before, and yeah, I’m getting too old to be catching them all again. Give me a new incentive, one that doesn’t require trading with half a dozen other versions and waiting for event-specific Pokemon to complete the central driving force behind the game. Still, I discovered that Black and White Versions make great companions when on exercise bikes. At this point exercise bikes should just come with Pokemon installed in the handlebars.

The Quieter Releases

Does it make me boring to actually like this game?

It’s not all high profile games with Nintendo, but the smaller, quieter titles are quickly forgotten in the rush of things. For instance, Kirby’s Return to Dreamland, a great return to form for the franchise at last, has all but been forgotten now that the rest of the holiday releases have arrived. Kirby fans decided that Return to Dreamland was a nearly perfect game, and after playing the demo at PAX I can easily see why they’d think that. It’s fun, the controls are tight, and there’s flawless drop in/drop out multiplayer.

A title that’s been getting hammered a bit though is Fortune Street, a game I played at PAX and actually really enjoyed. The easiest comparison is to Monopoly, though add in Mario and Dragon Quest characters for good measure. Criticism has been leveled stating that the game is slow, boring, and looks shoddy. I disagree on all accounts, mostly because it’s not like Fortune Street is being billed as a competitor to Skyrim or Skyward Sword or something like that. If you love Monopoly and the concept of trading property and stocks, then yeah, you’ll absolutely love Fortune Street. If you’re looking for an engrossing single-layer experience, then you’re just being stupid.

And speaking of Dragon Quest, the DS got the remake of Dragon Quest VI, wrapping up a string of really great remakes from the Super Famicom era. I just recently acquired the title for my birthday but haven’t had a chance to plow through it yet, though it’s high on my list since it’s a gorgeous game that shows how to do sprite work on the DS, all while being a solid RPG, as the pedigree would suggest.

Launching the 3DS

The sooner you attach Ocarina of Time to something, the sooner I'll be pleased.

Nintendo’s only big stumble this year has been the launch of the 3DS. Billed as a revolution to the handheld market with 3D capabilities and graphical power that competes with the GameCube, Nintendo decided to go with a $250 asking price, a move that, combined with a pitiful launch library, resulted in abysmal sales to the point that every gaming journalist was quick to ask, “Is this the end for Nintendo?!”

Well, no, it wasn’t. After listening to customer complaints and realizing bold action was required, the price was slashed to $170, which is when I grabbed it. However, those who bought the system before the official price drop day were given a bonus in the form of the Ambassador Program, essentially giving early adopters 10 free NES games and 10 free Game Boy Advance games. The NES games were pretty standard with Super Mario Bros, The Legend of Zelda, and Metroid standing out as some of the better titles, but it was the GBA list that made me most happy with titles like Wario Land 4, Fire Emblem, and F-Zero: Maximum Velocity.

Ocarina of Time’s remake is perfect in essentially every way, and Star Fox 64 3D is a near-identical recreation of the N64 original with the added bonus of the 3D graphics. Between those two, Super Mario 3D Land and Mario Kart 7, I’d say the 3DS has a pretty strong launch year library with a perfectly accessible price point and tons of great games expected in 2012, such as Kid Icarus: Uprising, Paper Mario 3D, Luigi’s Mansion 2, and Animal Crossing 3DS. I’m happy, so why aren’t so many others?

Why I’m Still a Nintendo Fan

I really doesn't take much to make me happy, and Nintendo knows this.

It all comes down to one simple program: Club Nintendo. In a time when just about every single game company is struggling to find a way to cut out the used games market and force gamers to buy new, Nintendo is the only company that’s thus far doing it right, all thanks to a simple concept. With most games, I’m punished for purchasing used. With titles on Nintendo systems, I’m rewarded for buying new. See the difference? Subtle, but effective.

Let me explain a bit better. If I were to purchase Battlefield 3 for either the Xbox 360 or PS3 used, I’d be unable to access the multiplayer features without buying a pass that unlocks them, whereas if I bought it new I wouldn’t have to worry about features being absent. Inversely, when I buy Mario Kart 7 this week, I will get a code that can be entered at my Club Nintendo account for coins, which can then be saved up and redeemed for items such as Wiimote holders, decorative fans, Game & Watch games, Mario-themed washcloths, amazing poster sets, or most recently, select games appearing on the Virtual Console and eShop marketplaces. At this moment I can snag the original Super Mario Kart on the Virtual Console for a cool 100 coins, or roughly two Wii games worth of coins (a poster set is 400 by the way, of which I have three).

I can’t stress enough how effective this simple tactic is to encourage me to purchase my Nintendo games new every single time. If there were a similar rewards system for Sony or Microsoft or individual companies, I’d be hard-pressed to buy used ever again because I love incentive programs. To my knowledge, only Nintendo has figured out this reward over punishment concept. Funny how that works.

Besides just loving Club Nintendo, I’ve found that I love my 3DS. I haven’t had an issue with the battery because I do a lot of my gaming in small bursts in bed, at the gym, or just hanging out. Sure, on a long trip I’d be frustrated, but I’m not enduring any long trips with my 3DS (and can’t due to motion sickness). I’m having fun with my system, and already I’ve bought two (soon to be three) killer games for the system, quickly beating my DS’s first year lifespan. That actually makes it more useful to me than my DS thus far.

Looking Ahead to 2012

Of course I'm already setting money of to the side; like I wouldn't?

Nintendo’s lineup for next year on the 3DS looks promising, as I’ve already mentioned, but their Wii showing is nearly nonexistent. Rhythm Heaven is lovely and Xenoblade Chronicles will come out to underwhelming sales (prove me wrong, you know it’ll have a terrible launch), but beyond that what is there to look forward to?

Oh right, the Wii U, Nintendo’s next console. The controller looks pretty crazy and the system is supposed to be Nintendo’s first HD console, but beyond that we don’t know anything else besides a launch window of possibly right around E3. As usual, I’m cautiously optimistic, so we’ll have to wait and see if another risky console gamble pays off.

And that’s it for Nintendo. There’s a lot to love here, but it’s Nintendo, so sometimes it isn’t obvious right away why they’re still in business. But enough from me, what are your thoughts? Did Nintendo have a good year? Or are they indeed doomed? Go ahead and leave a message while I go snag Mario Kart 7 really quick.

(Nintendo Reprise)

Ol’ Donkey Kong was slamming around
All the Kirby’s raiding Hyrule with his mighty ground pound
But suddenly, Link burst from under the temple,
Hitting DK with a Bob-omb, ending his trample.
DK wound up his fist and was ready to rock,
But was caught off guard by an electrical shock.
He was now under the mercy of Pikachu
When Captain Falcon swooped in on Big Blue
And he beat Pikachu with his Falcon Kick
Then Link hit em’ both with a flower Lip’s Stick,
But he couldn’t find the heart to replenish his life
When Luigi came out from under a pipe
And pulled a superscope out from under his hat
Blowing Link away with a rat-a-tat-tat
But he ran out of ammo, so he threw it and he fled
Cause Samus Aran was sniping for his head.

Donkey Kong threw a barrel at Samus Aran,
Sending her on a one way trip to Dream Land
Then Pikachu came back in a quite shocking rage,
But Mario grabbed him and spun him off stage
And Link was badly damaged and about to get floored
By Luigi who came back with a beam sword
But something swiped him off his feet in a flash
It was Fox McCloud with his light speed dash
And he saw Donkey Kong sneaking up from behind
So he reached for his ray gun which he just couldn’t find
Because Link had stole it and he shot it at the ape,
But Mario deflected it with his cape.
And then he jumped in the air, and he shot a fireball
While Luigi became a human cannon ball
The Brothers collided in the air and they fell
Both into the path of Jigglypuff’s Spell.

The Goombas trembled,

And the Koopas cowered.

Up from the Depts

Ascended Giga Bowser

Who Delivered a Slam

That could split the ground

And landed on top

Of Fox McCloud

Who went blasting through the air

Landing back on his ship

As Link hid underneath

To give him the slip.

But Bower saw through

His fight to the death

And he melted Link’s head

With his fire breath.

Then Ice Climber Pink and Ice Climber Blue
And Pokemon the First Movie’s Armored Mewtwo
Zero Suit Samus and Princess Peach
Princess Zelda and her alter ego Sheik
Ganondorf, Metakinght, Ness, Falco Lombarti
Diddy Kong, Yoshi, All the Multi Men of Melee
Toon Link, Pit, ROB, Lucario
Ike and Marth, Mr. Game and Watch and Wario

All came out of nowhere, spawning fast,
And they kicked Giga Bower and his Koopa King ass
It was the most shocking free-for-all the world ever saw
With gamers looking on in total awe.
Fire raged on for a century
Many lives are claimed but eventually,
One man stood in the game of hard knocks…

This was a non-profit fan-based parody
Of Neil Cicierega’s iconic rock comedy.
Hope your Christmas was not stolen by King Dedede.
This is the Ultimate Showdown, Lemon Demon please don’t sue me.

The round-up

It’s the end of the year and that means it’s time for the requisite “Best Of” lists all over the place, and I’m not above pandering to readers nor search engines, so I’m going to run down some of biggest games for the Xbox 360 for 2011. However, rather than talk about how great these games are I’m to talk about why I didn’t play any of them.

You don’t need more than two hands to count all the big retail games on my shelf, and even then they’re all more than a year old. The one big reason I don’t typically go for new games is pretty simple…they’re expensive. At $60 a pop I find it hard to justify buying more than one or two new game purchases a year. My solution is to then buy the games once they go on sale, down to around $30, so when everyone else is playing the latest and greatest, I’m digging into last year’s popular title. Most games don’t get any worse the older they get, so I don’t see any reason to rush to play them.

I’ll admit that it can be hard to not give in to all the video game hype that comes and goes every year, but for the most part many of the those big name games just don’t interest me. Nonetheless, lets look at some of these games and find out why they didn’t warrant a purchase.

Doesn't this guy get tired?

Gears of War 3

Gears of War 3 is easily the biggest and most popular Xbox exclusive that came out this year, at least if I look at what my friends are playing. Every time I log on, somebody is playing Gears. To best honest, I haven’t even played Gears 1 or 2. It seems like a game that I could get behind…lots of guns, explosions and sci-fi action…but every time I see screen shots or gameplay of Gears, I just get the sense that it’s a game I’ve played before. Just more of the same. In many ways that’s unfair because very few of the games we play are new, but hey, that’s just what I see.

Easily the best looking driving game.

Forza 4

I’m a car guy and I love driving games. I have more driving games than I know what to do with, so what if they’re a couple years old? Driving is driving. I learned my lesson about driving games when Gran Turismo first came out. I was all about GT because if you wanted a driving game, that was the game to have. I was supposed to be playing Gran Turismo, so I did. But it didn’t take me long to realize that I absolutely hate simulation driving. When it comes to car games, I just want to get in and go. I’m not interested in tweaking brakes or adjust spoilers. I don’t want to worry about suspension or exhaust manifolds. Just driving in a straight line and making it around the track in time is challenge enough. Forza 4 is a great looking game (I did play the demo) and it certainly does all the cars in the game justice, but between Blur, Split Second and Dirt, I have enough racing to last me for years.

Halo Anniversary

No game is more associated with the Xbox and Microsoft than Halo. I will acknowledge Halo‘s importance to first-person shooters on the console but at the same time, by the time Halo came around I had been shooting people for years on the PC…it was nothing new. And when it comes to shooting, I need a game that has a little more “reality” in it. Shooting laser guns and wielding purple crystal swords doesn’t really appeal to me. When I have the urge to shoot people, I’m more of a Call of Duty guy…and speaking of which, I haven’t played MW3 nor Battlefield 3 outside of demos. I feel they are better FPS games overall compared to Halo, but I got really burned out on MW2 and Black Ops, so I’m taking a shooter hiatus.

Dance Central 2

This one is going to be short and sweet. I don’t dance. Dance Central 2 could very well be the best dancing game every released. From the looks of things it is most certainly the next step up after the DDR games from several years back. Of course, I’m also on the side of the fence that isn’t impressed by the Kinect nor do I believe that it is the future of gaming or interaction, and thus I’ll never buy the Kinect.

What's next? Arkham Universe?

Batman: Arkham City

I know Arkham City isn’t an exclusive Xbox title, nor are any of the titles from this point on, but it was a big release this year and just one more title I’ll be skipping. Don’t get me wrong, I like Batman…I mean, it’s Batman…but I was so unimpressed by Arkham Asylum last year that I have no desire to dig into the sequel. I was excited for Arkham Asylum but I didn’t even finish it because it got boring. It was a bit too repetitive and long for me and Arkham City doesn’t look any different.  There was too much “go here to find that”, then “go there to save that person” followed by “go back to where you just were”. It doesn’t matter if it’s Batman, Superman, Star Wars or Care Bears…that cycle just gets old quick. This same curse also extends to the new Assassin’s Creed Revelations, which is pretty much just Batman in the 16th century.

Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim

If you’re a RPG fan then from what I can tell, Skyrim is the ultimate game. The game looks great and it’s filled with all the creatures you would expect to find. The game seems endless…too bad I’m not an RPG gamer. Considering I thought Batman was too long and monotonous, you can imagine that Skyrim looks 1000 times longer to me. I get the excitement in exploring an open world while fighting dragons with my giant axe, but I just don’t have the time to invest in games that require a lot of brain power. Whenever I’ve gotten into these games in the past, I do so for a couple weekends and then I stop playing. The trouble is then when I come back to the game, I’ve forgotten everything and I feel like I have to start over…tis a vicious cycle. However, if I was to need a single RPG game to play and love, it looks like Skyrim would be it. And to all of those that can endure hours upon hours of open world gaming, I commend you (and maybe envy you).

Does this make me a bad gamer?

After complaining about a bunch of video games I haven’t even played, you’re probably questioning my gaming credibility, and I wouldn’t blame you. I’m sure you have all the games I talked about on your shelf right now and you’ve maybe even completed them and taken them back to GameStop already. I just enjoy the smaller arcade games a lot more. Not only do I think they’re more challenging but they fit nicely within my gaming ADD. I’m just not a big game player, and while that might not make me your typical gamer, I can tell you it keeps a little more money in my pocket.

“Will the Play Station Move continue to struggle and boggle down Sony’s progress? Or was 2010 simply a relapse year before the PS3 gets ready to blow our minds again? Only time will tell.” -Me, Last year.

Well, the time has come. After a pretty uneventful 2010, with God of War 3 and Heavy Rain as the only two exclusives of note, 2011 appeared to be much more encompassing. Sony had a new exclusive scheduled for just about every other month and it seemed the company was well on its way to having what could be its greatest year yet. Now, did it actually turn out that way?

Upon reflection, 2010 now feels like it was the calm before the storm. 2011 certainly was a busy year, though I suppose with as much as they had on their plate, it would be foolish to expect everything to turn out perfect. So let’s take a closer look.

The Greats

Sony began the year with Little Big Planet 2, the follow-up to Media Molecule’s groundbreaking platformer/level making toybox. Sack Person returned to us with a brand new adventure. He’s on a mission to rescue Craftworld from the Negativatron with the help of Sackbots, Cakeinators, Cyborg Camels that spit lasers, and a guy with the coolest name in the entire world: Avalon Centrifuge. Here’s a game that I can never humanly tire from, as there is always new content online from its dedicated community day and night.

And if that weren’t enough, Media Molecule released new bonus content in the form of Toy Story themed level and costume kits. I can honestly say, no matter how hard I try, I cannot possibly think of a franchise that translates to Craft-form as seamless and wonderfully as Toy Story. The levels themselves make whimsical additions to the already diverse world that surrounds our little Sack Hero, not to mention quite challenging. I still have yet to defeat the final boss against Dr. Pork Chop.

We then started our Summer Vacations with our second outing with Cole “Electric Man” McGrath in InFamous 2. Not only did this game improve on the original by overhauling the graphics, giving us a bigger more varied world to explore, and revamping the annoying sidekick character to be an actually useful and all-around more likeable guy, but it also delivered an excellent capper to the story arc they began in the first game. Too often do we see 2’s in the gaming universe finishing their games open ended, or worse, with a flat-out cliffhanger to pave way for an obvious third installment (Halo and God of War being probably the two biggest culprits of all). InFamous 2 did not play that card. At the end of the first game, we were told the big fight was coming. In the second game, it came, and regardless of whether you went good or evil, we finished that fight to the very bitter end, closing up the storyline permanently.

That’s not to say that Sucker Punch is out of ideas for the franchise, oh no. This Halloween, we received InFamous Festival of Blood, a short downloadable game that couldn’t give a flying crap where it’s suppose to fit within the continuity of the storyline, existing simply as an excuse to let us play as Count Cole McGrath with the power to morph into a horde of bats, and I couldn’t love it more for it.

Keeping with the trend of the God of War and Sly Collections last year (I did mention the Sly Cooper Trilogy this year though), Sony rereleased a few more of their classics including God of War Origins (which I very much enjoyed), comprising the two PSP God of War titles by Ready At Dawn, and even more exciting, Ico and Shadow of the Colossus. What’s great is that the only small complaint people really had about SotC was that the PS2’s limited horsepower couldn’t keep up with the game’s outlandish visuals. With this HD remake, that gets fixed up no problem.

As far as third installments go, both of Sony’s exclusive FPS franchises, Killzone 3 and Resistance 3, rounded up their storylines this year, and they did not disappoint. Resistance particularly had the challenge of developing a completely different main character for their third installment, seeing as the protagonist of the first two games was now KIA. Yet Insomniac managed to pull it off, as I never doubted they would.

There is also something that bears repeating in regards to Uncharted 3 Drakes Deception. While it may not have succeeded in exceeding the expectations left by its 35 Game-of-the-Year Award Winning predecessor, it was still a fun game in its own right. Given Naughtydog’s patterns with their franchises in the past, if this truly is the final Uncharted game they ever work on, than it was quite a ride and I pray that any and all companies that take on this franchise in the future (I’m looking at you Bend Studio) approach it with the effort and resolve it rightfully deserves.

All those exclusives alone would be more than enough to keep any PS3 owner’s thumbs busy and wallets empty for the whole year, but it just so happens Sony was just as blessed with amazing third party support as ever. Portal 2, Batman Arkham City, and Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim are not only the top games of the year and will certainly win numerous Game of the Year Awards between the three of them, but they are some of the greatest titles of this entire console generation. Me personally, I was much more anxious for to the return of a classic platforming icon in Rayman Origins. After mourning that I missed a chance to play the game upon its release, I finally managed to get a hold of it during the holiday rush. Guess what? It’s awesome.

The Not-so-Great

Okay, so this year was certainly not without its serious financial and critical flops for Sony. For starters, there was the PSN Blackout back in April that shut out the entire online community for weeks. This was one of the biggest pandemics in the gaming community that made the company desperately scramble to consolidate their user basis.

For someone like me who rarely plays online, I almost completely forgot it ever happened several months after the fact, and the free games Sony provided once back online were much appreciated.

No, what I’m more concerned about is the Play Station Move. It’s already been out for over a year now, and it’s still not selling. Why is it not selling? Well, unlike the 360’s Kinect, which has titles like Dance Central and Disney Adventures that sell it as a legit new peripheral, there is still nothing available on the Move that is really worth the hundred dollar price of admission. That’s not to say Sony hasn’t tried, god no. Their two big FPS franchises I mentioned above, Killzone 3 and Resistance 3, both have Move Support, and from what I’ve heard, they play great with it. But no matter how well these titles may use that peripheral, if they play just fine with a regular controller that gamers are already accustomed to, that will indefinably be their default play style of choice. It’s cheaper and less work.

And don’t get me started on games made for the Move from ground up. PlayStation Move Heroes was something that when I first saw last years E3, looked like a dream come true. The poster boys of Naughtydog, Insomniac, and Sucker Punch, all rolled up into one game. In a perfect world, this would be the crossover platforming adventure I’ve been waiting an entire console generation for, with diverse worlds, intriguing plot twists, and hilarious writing that each of these three franchises is known for. I may just get teary-eyed thinking about the possibilities.

Oh what’s that? It’s another bland, uninspired waggle fest with repetitive minigames and an embarrassing plot that is not intriguing, funny, or holds a candle to any of these characters’ solo adventures in the slightest?

On a slightly lighter note, I have heard that Medieval Moves: Deadmund’s Quest did turn out to be pretty awesome. Still, one good game is not enough to sell the whole peripheral for me.

My final word: On the grounds of games alone, Sony was a definite juggernaut this year. Lots of big franchises getting sequels, and not just sequels, but cappers to what were once brand new IP’s at the beginning of this Console Generation. Along with that, some nice new PS2/PSP collections, great downloadable content, and some of the best third party support to date. From a business model standpoint, they are far from ideal, thanks to Network fiascoes like the Blackout, and the Move still failing to provide us anything worthwhile. So, better but not perfect. I give them a B.

Coming Soon

February 14th (which is some holiday, I forget what) sees the beloved return Sony’s longest running exclusive franchise ever. Twisted Metal kicks the adrenaline meter to the curb with all the best kinds of Rush Hour Road Rage, Road Kill, and what have you. Oh yeah, and ice-cream trucks that transform into Decepticons.

Also in February, we get the Jak and Daxter Collection, the HD rerelease of Naughtydog’s second hit trilogy, which at this point may as well be titled, Roger Gus Townson’s Money Dispenser Collection.

Again in February (busy month) on the 22nd, we see the American release (Japan released it last Saturday) of Sony’s next generation portable, the Play Station Vita. I am pleased to say the launch lineup this time around is looking very good, with titles like Gravity Rush, Little Deviants, and of course Uncharted Golden Abyss which, as I hinted earlier, will prove if new developers are capable of handling this property properly.

In a later quarter, The Cooper Gang returns to work after a six-year hiatus in Sly Cooper: Thieves in Time. While not being developed by the original creator, Sucker Punch, would normally concern me, given the trailers and gameplay footage we’ve seen at E3, Sanzaru appears to have a very good grasp on the franchise, so I’m excited.

I would like to believe Team Ico’s The Last Guardian is finally going to come out by the end of this year, given how much it’s already been pushed back, but at this point I don’t want to make any more promises.

On the third party side, we have Mass Effect 3 and Bioshock Infinite, both set to be surefire winners. Here’s also high hopes we hear more about Insomniac’s newest title, Overstrike.

All right, let’s talk a bit about Naughtydog’s next project, which debuted during the VGA’s. The Last of Us.

So apparently, a handful of guys, after completing Uncharted 2, shifted their attention to this while others worked on Uncharted 3, so it’s already been in the works for a while now. That said, it still looks like a very rough draft of what the final product will look like, and I won’t be surprised if it’s not ready by the end of the year.

Concept wise, while I personally wish Naughtydog would return to form from the PS1/PS2 eras and make something more colorful and fantasy like, they did bring on the lead designer of Enslaved: Odyssey to the West (a niche game from 2010 I enjoyed a lot) to work with them, so I am intrigued.

Yeah, I know everyone’s already made the joke that the girl looks exactly like a younger Ellen Page (the character is even named Ellie), but hey, Nathan Drake was first based on Nathan Fillion, so this ain’t too farfetched for them.

And here I thought that 2012 would be another relapse year like 2010. It might still be, as everything looks more exciting from afar. However, the arrival of the Play Station Vita could keep the company and their customers busy for some time now. Good luck.

That said, I have brought myself to a hurdle. While CTR can be said to be the PSOne’s attempt at their own personal Mario Kart (and succeeded by my book), the next game on the list is Crash Bash from the year 2000, and its goal was to be the Crash equivalent of Mario Party. Seeing as this is the very first Crash Bandicoot game not to be made by Naughtydog, with Universal Studios passing the development baton to Eurocom Entertainment, jumping into this universe of vast creative characters and trying to wrap a large scale party game with enough inventive mini-games that would appeal to a larger group of players must have been a tall order.

Let’s see how Eurocom faired.

Plot wise, this game is set up to be the end all be all of the Crash Bandicoot story arc, and in some ways it kind of is, seeing as this will be the last Crash game made for the PS1 before the PS2 takes the gaming world by storm in the following year. We begin with our two spiritual masks, Aku Aku and Uka Uka, yet again ready to butt heads (literally) to prove whether Good or Evil is superior. Yet because the ancient order from where they hail from forbids the brothers from fighting each other (which already doesn’t makes sense, seeing as we saw them fight in the final battle of the third game), they decide upon the most proactively game-like resolution to settle the issue. A contest. A series of challenges that will pit the Aku-Uka brothers’ disciples against one another, with the winner deciding in whose hands the fate of the world will fall.

You know, I get that stories in video games were still pretty simplistic and retro at the time, but I honestly felt that the first four games of the Crash series had a pretty solid narrative to go along with their very intriguing universe, and they definitely evolved and got stronger over time. It just seems a bit odd to me that the supposed final battle between the forces of good and evil is ultimately decided by the winner[s] of a handful of carnival games.

Though I may be getting a little ahead of myself. Before we get to critical, perhaps I should actually look into a bit of these said “carnival games,” to see what this game really has in store.

Classic Bash

This is the most standard of all the games, and it’s pretty simple to comprehend: Four players compete in a battle arena littered with crates, TNT, item boxes, and Wampa Fruit. Your object is to use any means provided to deplete your opponent’s health meter and knock them out. Each character class has their own individual running speed, attack power, and throwing distance. Go nuts.

Crash Ball

Four players each take a pod attached to one side of a square field. Every pod moves back and forward attached to the goal, and is equipped with a shockwave ability. As metallic balls are dispersed onto the field, your goal is to knock the balls into your opponent’s goal while also protecting your own. There are no unique traits in this game among separate character classes. Each players starts with a set number of points and loses one each time a ball passes into their goal. Your points deplete entirely, and you’re out. Last man standing wins.

Polar Push

Four players are placed on a round block of ice while riding on baby Polars. Objective is to wrestle your opponents off the iceberg. Each player class has a different type of tackle attack that uses up a separate amount of your adrenaline meter with every move. Last player and their bear standing wins.

Pogo Painter

Four players start on each corner of a grid and pogo from one space to another to paint the squares their color. Stepping on Purple Point Boxes will give you a point for each of the spaces your color, then reset them back to grey. Stepping on an arrow will turn all spaces the arrow was pointing into your color. Yet again no difference among separate Character classes in this one. Player who culminates the most points before the timer runs out wins.

And those are the first four game types that are provided for you. Keep in mind as I describe them to you, they play a lot differently from minigames you might be used to from other party games. To start, they are a bit lengthier, averaging at about 2-3 minutes per round, with challenges having multiple rounds, usually best of three. All challenges can also be played either Free-For-All or 2-on-2.

While there are technically 16 games to choose from at the very beginning, all of them are different variations of these first four I’ve shown you above. Each challenge has four different maps that slightly alter the game in various ways. For example, in one of the Bash maps, it is played on a metal grid where TNT and Nitro crates can blow through the floor leaving holes that players can fall into if they’re not careful. Or one of the Ball maps, the pods are equipped with a magnet that allows players to grab and hold onto multiple balls, then launch them all together at high speeds.

There are 12 additional games, but all of them can only be unlocked through completing the Adventure Mode. This is a bit of a drag, because while I’ll admit CTR was the kind of multiplayer game that also managed be a fun in Single Player, Crash Bash is not. Ever tried to play a whole map of Mario Party all by yourself? Yeah, all the fun seems to evaporate when there’s no one else in the room. It’s pretty much the same here. The one slight saving grace is that the Adventure mode can be played in 2 Player Co-op, which makes it a little more engaging.

Once you eventually unlock all this game’s challenges, the opportunities open up tremendously, thanks to Tank War maps, Bumper Car Dashing, Whack-A-Shroom, and probably the most fun, Dragon Drop: Players tackle each other to grab gems so they can toss them at a rolling dart board for points, all the while on the backs of flightless dragons. (Reference to another popular Sony Icon at the time perhaps?)

A party game such as this one entails that the creators must nail the multiplayer aspect, which I am please to say Eurocom did with gusto. Get four people in a room playing this game together, and I guarantee the thrills will last for hours. These challenges, while small in numbers, all have a great learning curve feel to them. It’s one of the few games of its type that truly feels like there’s a sense of skill involved, yet it’s a level of skill that even the most casual of gamers can pick up and develop in a night.

So while the multiplayer and the overall gameplay gets a definite pass with me, I still have some grating, nitpicky things about the games overall presentation. Naughtydog is known to have just about the best production values in the industry with every franchise they have released. Obviously, Eurocom doesn’t have nearly the track record they do, with their best game being Shinx and the Cursed Mummy: a unique, if slightly glitchy, B-List take on the Zelda scheme, but set in Ancient Egypt. So naturally, there are a few things I and other Crash fans are going to miss out on. So with that, here’s a list of what those nitpicks might be.

• Warped and CTR had the best graphics on the console. With Crash Bash, it appears Eurocom developed all the character models from scratch, and they just seem seriously off from their original rendition.
• The narrative isn’t nearly as diverse, with the very few cut scenes focused squarely on the Aku-Uka brothers’ squabbles amongst each other. A shame that the franchise’s wide variety of characters with their boisterous personalities are not put to use at all. Specifically Dr. Cortex, who thanks to stunning voice work by Clancy Brown, had become one of the most fleshed out and iconic video games villains of the late 90’s.
• Tiny and Dingodile are converted to the Good Guy side for no reason other than to make it a fair contest. That’s an interesting plot development that they could have worked with.
• Dr. Brio is back working alongside Dr. Cortex, even though they have been bitter rivals since the events of Crash Bandicoot 2. Yet another plot development that’s never addressed.
• Only eight playable characters, and no unlockable ones. Additional characters to the franchise only appear as either Boss Fights in the Adventure Mode, or as pop-in pop-out obstacles in specific game maps.
• One of the eight playable characters is Rilla Roo, a gorilla/kangaroo hybrid we’ve never seen before or have ever been given a proper introduction, personality, or skill set of what he does outside the party game motif where he was created for the strict purpose to share Dingodile’s character class. Needless to say, he was not very popular, and has never appeared in another Crash Game since.
• Dingodile doesn’t have either his Australian accent, or his flamethrower. That takes away two very defining traits to his character that makes him the “Most Epic Evil Minion of all video games.” Sad day.
• Crash doesn’t even do his classic victory dance anymore. You know the one:

Nope. He doesn’t do that anymore. Now he’s been reduced to doing some stereotypical chicken dance.

All in all, these discrepancies to staples of the franchise mean that the already obvious detachment from the Naughtydog games is now even more prominent. I’m even willing to say that Eurocom could have cut the narrative, taken out all the characters, replaced them with characters from another franchise (Rayman, Spyro, Gex, etc.), and gamers would have been none the wiser.

For as much grief as I am giving it’s narrative and production aspects, Crash Bash is still a fairly solid party game with dozens of minigames that, given a multiplayer crowd, are engaging, competitive, and just plain fun. This means that Eurocom was half way to a great Crash Game on their hands, which honestly, is half way further than other companies gotten with the franchise, so at least there’s that.

There are no current downloads or re-releases available, but for those of you who still own PS1’s out there, grab a used copy (along with a multitap if you don’t already have one, they should be pretty cheep now), share with your friends, and you’ll be the envy of the town.

At least for an evening anyway.

A brief history of punishment

Most arcade gamers usually cite the simplicity of classic games as one of the biggest reasons why they like them and remain popular. This is true but we all know that nostalgia outweighs any sort of logic when it comes to video games (or any toy, for that matter). Defender is one the most well-known arcade games right next to Galaga, Pac-Man and Donkey Kong. However, Defender is also one of the most difficult arcade games you’ll ever play and that is one reason why I never liked it.

Think you're a gamer? Defender will put you in your place.

Playing Defender is a lesson in brutality. It lacks big visuals (even for its time), it’s almost too fast, the controls are somewhat complex and the biggest turn off for me is its lack of obvious-ness (that’s a word now). When you start up Pac-Man or Galaga you know what to do right away. Even if you don’t know how (or aren’t trying) to get high scores, you can make your characters move on screen and be relatively successful. This isn’t what happens when you play Defender and it’s discouraging. Why punish yourself with Defender when Donkey Kong is already hard enough? Yet the release of a recent Xbox Indie title has taught me a lesson in not only the evolution of games but of gamers like myself.

Orbitron Revolution

Orbitron Revolution is one of the best-looking indie games you’ll see on the Xbox. Maybe I’m just a sucker for anything that reminds me of Wipeout, but from top to bottom this is a well-polished game and is worth your $3 for that alone, honestly. Add to that great sound and music plus three great challenge modes and you’ve got yourself a game that will please even the most timid arcade gamer.

Orbitron Revolution is as fun as it is beautiful.

Much like the aforementioned Defender, Orbitron charges you with destroying bad guys across a horizontal playing field and wraps around to be a giant donut…so it’s more or less an endless board that warps in enemies the longer your survive. You also get a duo of special weapons that deliver some extra punch, but only if you can collect the canisters left by the ships you destroy. You obviously get points for each kill but the faster you shoot them the higher your multiplier goes, so while you can just start shooting things one-by-one, if you’re trying to march your way up the leaderboard, that strategy probably won’t pan out. Of course, that depends on what game mode you’re playing.

In “Countdown” mode you’re racing against the clock, so all you want to do is destroy enemies as fast as possible, multipliers be damned. You get three minutes to fly around the space station and rack up points. In “Guardian” mode, your job is to rid the space station of drillers that are trying to destroy each of the four sectors (A, B, C and D). That sounds easy enough but there will be hundreds of baddies trying to stop you. You have unlimited lives in Guardian mode but once all four sectors are destroyed it’s game over. Last is the poorly named “Extra” mode where you’re given only one life to try and score as many points as possible. There aren’t any sectors to defend here, just lots and lots of aggressive enemies. This is the mode where you can work on your killing strategy and really get that multiplier up.

Orbitron is a really solid shooter that delivers what it promises. It has fast arcade action, great visuals, awesome sound and most importantly to me, it supports my joystick so I’m not left to play with the analog stick or awful D-pad. You’ll be hard pressed to find a better looking and better playing arcade shooter in the indie games lineup…so the $3 price tag is a no-brainer. This is one of the best arcade games I’ve played in a long time, and I’ll play just about any shooter that comes down the pike. But as I mentioned at the start, this game has made a greater impact on me, specifically in relation to Defender.

Re-discovering a classic

Orbitron isn’t a Defender clone or even a remake, it just borrowed some mechanics. If anything, Orbitron Revolution is a nod to Williams’ arcade classic, and a good one at that. But while playing Orbitron I started to think about Defender and why I can love Orbitron so much but hate Defender when they are very similar in design and spirit. So to be fair, I went back and played Defender again while trying to keep my past judgement at bay.

To my surprise, Defender made sense now. I understood what I was supposed to do, the mechanics clicked…in other words, I finally “got it”. Defender is still insanely difficult, much harder than Orbitron, but I ended up enjoying Defender more than I expected and it is quickly rising up in my list of favorite arcade games, albeit slowly. I’m not sure that Orbitron suddenly made me like Defender but I think that since Orbitron doesn’t have quite the barrier of entry Defender does, I was able to get my head around the play mechanics and challenge of that type of shooter. Orbitron helped me re-discover Defender…like the times when you find out a song is a cover and then you discover and fall in love with the original artist. It took something new to appreciate something old, and I can now see why Defender is such a revered game.

Digging a little deeper

However, I can’t also help but think about my own gaming evolution in relation to Defender and even Orbitron. It had been years since I played Defender because when I first played, it was so damn hard that I gave up too soon. It was too brutal, but Defender‘s minimal presentation didn’t help things either. There’s not a lot of information on-screen to help you decide what to do or how to go about doing it. Every character is pretty small and the controls are a bit awkward. Mash all those things together and you have a game that will only appeal to players that enjoy punishment…and that’s why I’m hooked now, many years later. I like punishment. I want punishment. I’ve played enough games by now, particularly arcade shooters, that I’m finally ready for Defender. I’m ready to be punished.

This all probably sounds silly considering Defender is more than 30 years old, but I’m not ashamed, and I have Orbitron Revolution to thank for all of it. Without that gem of a game I wouldn’t have revisited Defender, so in some ways I got two games for the price of one. But do yourself a favor and do not play Defender and Orbitron back-to-back. Rightfully so, they are two different games with different challenges and different goals, and jumping between the two in one session just makes things more difficult than they already are. Buy Orbitron Revolution because it’s a great game created by some hard-working folks, and we should all want to see more from the studio, Firebase Industries. Go back and play Defender because you’ve gotten complacent with your current stable of games and want to be reminded why you started playing video games in the first place.

Orbitron Revolution is available through the Xbox Game Marketplace and is only $3 (240MSP).

Is that another Link? I want to know!

I’ve been ready to have my mind blown from the very second I started the game up. Every fiber of my being loves Zelda and since this wasn’t a DS Zelda game (which I haven’t particularly enjoyed), but rather a mixture of the best elements of The Wind Waker and Twilight Princess, my expectations were incredibly high. That would be my first mistake since the game can’t decide if it’s been built for a lifelong fan or a completely new player.

Immediately out of the gate we’re reminded that this is Zelda’s 25th anniversary. We know this because the game comes packaged with a handful of orchestrated remixes from the franchise (wonderful by the way), the little stamp on the box, and the intro screen reminding us. And if it wasn’t hammered home enough, within the first few minutes of playing we learn that the characters are about to celebrate the 25th anniversary of something important. “Okay,” I said, “This is clearly for me.”

But then the wind changed and something horrible happened. After a painfully long introduction period where I learned what I thought were all the new rules, I met the single worst character a Zelda game has thrown at me thus far. Worse than Tingle, worse than Navi, Skyward Sword’s know-it-all companion is named Fi, a physical embodiment of the Goddess Sword and a feature I wish desperately to be able to shut off.

Gah! Shut up already! Where's Navi when you need her?

To explain why Fi is so obnoxious, I have to give some examples. Thing is, she pops up every time something new has happened, something that is excruciatingly obvious to me as a longtime player. For instance, I grab some rupees and hit my wallet’s max, which is 300. I know that I’ve hit my max because I had previously checked my inventory and learned that 300 is where things get tapped out. I also noticed that after grabbing a large rupee, my total stopped at 300 and changed color, indicating I’m at capacity. I know this as the game has allowed me to learn this by myself. However, at the moment when I reach that max, Fi pops out of my sword and tells me, “Master, you have hit your limit of rupees. You cannot carry any more.” Yes, thank you.

Hey, another example! I’m in a forest looking for Zelda and encounter a little kiwi/penguin/shrubbery thing and save it from some red monsters. It freaks out, thanks me, and mentions that it thinks it saw the girl in pink being chased by more of the red monsters. Fi once more leaps out of my sword and says, “Master, my calculations indicate a 97% chance that Zelda is still in danger.” Uh…yeah, I just heard that, too. Plus, adding in percentages just sounds entirely wrong and out of place in the Zelda universe. The themes are clashing and it feels like Link has a computer in his sword, which constantly rips me out of the story and the game’s immersive capabilities.

Fi aside, there’s a ton that I’ve really enjoyed thus far. As soon as I acquired a sword I was sold on the motion controls. I’ve very rarely had a game feel so perfect when it comes to motion controls, but Skyward Sword works just as well as it promises. I haven’t experienced a single lag or miss-swipe with my sword, including forward thrusts (the bane of the Wii’s existence). Even my shield is responsive with a flick of the nunchuck. I’ve actually found myself just swishing the sword for no good reason, purely because it feels good.

Even getting owned by this guy, I'm still loving it!

However, there’s a little drawback to the sword slashing that doesn’t make a ton of sense to me. Twilight Princess added the ability to move while slashing the sword, something that greatly improved the game as a whole because it made the tedious grind of grass cutting feel much less obnoxious. Skyward Sword takes a step backward as you’re grounded firmly in place once you start swinging your sword, once again making grass cutting feel more tedious than it needs to be. I can understand the need to make you stop moving as there could be some wonky control issues if you made Link turn around at you or something while swinging, I guess, but overall it felt like a regression.

Another example of a regression has to do with the rupees yet again. Twilight Princess had a new feature that stopped you from emptying a chest full of rupees if it would exceed your current max. I really liked this as it prevented me from wasting some big prizes while searching for dungeon keys and heart pieces, but Skyward Sword once again just lets those go to waste, and once again I haven’t found a good use for rupees yet. I’ve hit the limit for what I can purchase far too quickly and have to wait to collect more materials in order to improve my shields and items, a feature I do actually like. I’m assuming that things get far better later on, but right now I’ve blew some big rupee caches for no reason and it’s a problem.

I can safely say now that after the second dungeon, this is the Zelda game I’ve been waiting for. The first dungeon wasn’t anything spectacular, but that’s to be expected as every first Zelda dungeon is typically the tutorial dungeon, allowing you to figure out how this particular game is going to work or differentiate itself from others. Oh, and a nice side note, the map and compass have been combined into one, which is great since that always felt pointless to separate the two.

No, it’s by the second dungeon that things really start to pick up. The layout is fun and flows perfectly, the boss is one of my new favorites, and the story elements even feel particularly strong. I don’t want to spoil anything, but I can say that my initial hope for characters I really care about has come true with gusto. I like this Zelda. I like this Link. I like this new villain and I like the new side characters that are just around for the heck of it.

Definitely my favorite version of Zelda to date, and that's saying something.

The only problem is still how much the game wants to hold my hand. Is Skyward Sword for new players? Well, I’m informed by my stupid sword companion that my hearts are low and that I need to find some despite my hearts blinking and the annoying “Holy crap get some hearts dude” beeping droning on, so it can’t really be for me, can it? Hold on, it just may be as the chief of Skyloft is a man with owl-like features whose name is Gaepora, a clear reference to the owl named Kaepora Gaebora from Ocarina of Time and other games. I’m incredibly torn so far, but I very much want to find out more.

So the real question is, can I recommend Skyward Sword? Honestly, yes, I can. It just has an annoying amount of hand-holding in the early stages of the game (and sadly, from what I hear, that lasts the first half of the game), but I’ve hit a point where my interest is climbing and the good is outweighing the bad. And from what I’ve read, it only continues to get better. Certainly give this one a good, long chance. Just, you know, after Skyrim.

For those who wish to read my Retrospectives on the first three Crash Games before proceeding to this one, follow the links below.

Part 1 Crash Bandicoot

Part 2 Crash Bandicoot 2 Cortex Strikes Back, and Crash Bandicoot Warped

Yep, I said it. Crash Team Racing (CTR), I repeat, is the greatest Arcade Style Racing Game ever made. As I speak, I already know that hundreds of you out there are calling blasphemy on me, refusing to believe that anything can possibly be superior to any product that features Nintendo’s supreme mascot on wheels. Well all you blindly loyal sheep, I’m gonna tell it to you straight. Yes, CTR came out two years after Mario Kart 64. Yes, it is a by-the-numbers copycat of everything Mario Kart 64 did [with a big scoop of Diddy Kong Racing mixed in], only with the characters, environments, weapons, and tunes of the Crash universe. Yes, it’s a PS1 exclusive that was an obvious cash-in because Sony needed their own version of what Nintendo had on the N64. That much is true.

But you know what else is true? For someone who has played both extensively throughout his childhood (AKA, Me) it became quickly obvious which one was the more superior game. CTR had more characters, more tracks, more battle maps and play settings, better controls, better visuals, better music, better voice acting (by which I mean it HAS voice acting) and an entire single player adventure to top it all off.

Case closed. Hook line and Sinker. Check and Mate. Done and Done. [Pranger's Note: And that's why Crash Team Racing is still so popular toda- oh wait...]

[Yes, because Popularity has always been synomymous with Quality. I'm sure the box-office sales of Scott Pilgrim vs. The Expendables are a perfect example of that.]

Now that I’ve got that little rant out of the way, let’s talk about the game’s story. So Crash and Co. are all riving up for the big Grand Prix when they get a very unexpected guest. Yup, after beating all the mutated animals, mad scientists, and machine enemies to a pulp, Crash gets his very first extra terrestrial encounter, and his name is Nitros Oxide.

Now, is it just me, or does he remind anyone of Sebulba, the pod-racing champion from Star Wars Episode 1, The Phantom Menace? Which is especially odd, given this game predates The Phantom Menace. Anyway, Oxide here claims to be the fastest racer in the galaxy, and he comes to Earth with a proposition.

“It’s a little game I like to call ‘Survival of the Fastest.’ Here’s how we play. I challenge the fastest driver on your planet to a race. If your driver wins, I’ll leave your miserable little rock alone. But if I win, I’ll turn your entire globe into a concrete parking lot, and you’ll all have to be my slaves. Get ready to race for the fate of your planet.”

As silly as that may sound for a plot device, it is a perfectly plausible way to establish conflict in a universe such as this one. Especially given that in a bit of deleted dialogue, it is explained that the planet Mars has no life on it, because Oxide passed by it on his way toward Earth and left it a desolate wasteland. It also is a perfect explanation why Crash, Coco, and all their friends would be out go-karting with Cortex, N.Gin, and their other former adversaries. If Crash and friends want to save the world, and Cortex and minions want Oxide gone so they can conquer the world themselves, it makes perfect sense why they would all be duking it out to see which of them is best fit to race for the planet. [Pranger's Note: I'd just like to point out some odd histories here. Crash Team Racing came out in 1999 with a space alien demanding a racing challenge. 1997's Diddy Kong Racing had a...space alien...challenge people to kart racing...hmm.]

[Okay fair enough, but with Wiz Pig, it was never really explicit where his motive came from in all this, or why racing him was entirely necessary. The excuse we were given for his actions was "He's bored." Oxide, on the other hand, was a derainged, cranky, senile old coot whom even the people on his own planet (given a name, Gasmoxia) thought he was freaking nuts, thus why he left in the first place. Plus, it's also unexplained why in a universe where powerfull forces like Donkey Kong, King K. Rool, Gruntilda, and the Panther King all exist, that the resistance that is able to take Wiz Pig down is comprised of Elementary aged kids, 75% of which we never see in another game.]

Anyway…In the end it is up to the player to choose who he will play as, and ultimately make the Earth’s champion. And of course, given my fondness to a certain “Most Epic Evil Minion in all Video Games,” you can probably guess whom I went with.

For a company’s very first attempt at a racing game, Naughtydog managed to create a point perfect engine for CTR. They didn’t try to add gimmicks like poorly handling hovercrafts and airplanes as a shallow attempt at trying to look innovative. [Pranger's Note: Nope, they just took the concept of one popular kart racer and the framing narrative of another.] [Which I already confessed to above.] They just made their core driving physics as sharp and fluid as possible. There was a great sense of speed in the way the karts moved, especially thanks to the bountiful amount of ramps and turbo pads scattered evenly across each track. Not to mention this game has just about the easiest and best handling power slide system I’ve ever seen. Sure, all kart racers have power sliding now, but this game still does it better and more visceral than anyone. And never once was there a lag in the animation. It just felt right.

Each character has varying traits that make them play unique to one anther. Polar and Pura have the best agility and handling, which makes them good for beginners. Coco and N. Gin have the best Acceleration for a slightly higher challenge. Tiny and Dingodile have the highest top speed but are difficult to handle, making them fit for most experience players. Then you had Crash and Cortex, who were good well-rounded racers for the intermediate crowd. Each of the following seven unlockable characters fall somewhere in one of these four brackets, though you’ll have to test-drive them out for yourself before you can analyze their strengths.

There are 18 racetracks in total with seven battle maps. Every character, including the unlockable ones, get their own themed map, which are all richly detailed with obstacles straight from the first three Crash games. One fan favorite in particular is Hot Air Skyway, which is basically our own personal version of Rainbow Road, as it is up in the sky and there are very few railings to prevent you from falling off. The only difference is that Hot Air Skyway isn’t a mess of neon colors splashed onto the screen. It’s an actual track that allows you to SEE where you are going. So that means if you fall off, 90% of the time, it will be your own fault.

Of course in classic arcade racing style, there are item boxes scattered throughout the tracks. They will provide a huge variety of weapons for offense (heat seekers, rolling bombs, electric orbs), defense (TNT crates, Potions, Force fields), speed (turbo boosts) and the Aku Aku mask (Uka Uka if you’re a bad guy) which is the CTR equivalent of Starman, thus making you a temporarily invincible speed demon that takes out anyone you hit. Adding to the item system is Wampa Crates. By hitting these crates and collecting enough wampa fruit, you become “Juiced Up” and any items you collect become stronger and more accurate (TNT become Nitro crates, Bombs have a bigger blast radius, Aku Aku mask lasts longer).

Each of the characters also have their own unique set of sound bites and catchphrases. The audio is a little dated, so it’s occasionally difficult to pick up what they are saying, but not too often. There was this one time during the final boss fight (or race as it were) with Oxide where he calls out one of his sound bites to me, “Say goodbye!” immediately followed by me, playing as Dingodile, firing my triple heat seeker item at him, making direct hit, and Dingodile saying one of his own sound bites, “Goodbye!” As I pass Oxide and take the lead.

True bliss right there. Timing on that one couldn’t have been more perfect.

"If you ain't first you're last."

If there was one small complaint I would make about CTR, it is about the four-player vs. mode. It works excellently, but in order to play it you needed to buy a multi-tap adapter because the PS1 (and PS2) only had two controller outlets. It wasn’t too pricy, but because that peripheral was needed in order for the game to read more than two controllers, it is impossible to start up four-player on the downloadable PSN version on the PS3. That is a bit unfortunate, though it’s hard to knock the whole game down for it, because there is so much content with battle modes, time trials, CTR Challenges (collecting the letters C,T, and R hidden in a track and still getting first place [Pranger's Note: Similar to collecting 10 silver coins and still getting first place perhaps...?] [Yeah, but much more clean and not as unecessarily complicated]) here is a racing game that is just as much fun and challenging to play in single player as it is with friends.

As what many cult followers hail as being the last definitively awesome Crash Bandicoot game ever made before Naughtydog would ultimately sever all bonds with Universal Studios, leaving their high spinning superstar behind, I cannot recommend this title enough. Crash Team Racing is currently available for download for $5.99 on the Play Station Network and for Free for those with Plus Memberships. You want speed? They don’t come much faster. You want tracks? They don’t come much sharper. You want an all-star gathering of the entire cast of the Crash Bandicoot Trilogy (save for two or three omissions) celebrating an critical breakthrough in Gaming Icons made right here in the states? CTR brings the goods. You’re welcome.

And on reflection, perhaps the supposedly hypothesized Uncharted Fortune Racer game might not be such a bad idea after all.

[Pranger's Note: I realize I came down hard here but understand that I have nothing against Crash Team Racing. I do, however, have something against calling out fans of other series for no reason, hence why I felt compelled to put a bit of perspective into place. Please though, go enjoy your game for the fun experience it is, not for the experience it is when compared to anything else.]

[And I appologize for seeming so forward in my defence. I have nothing against Mario Kart or Diddy Kong racing. They have influence a lot of games, like this one and I appreciate them greatly for it. What I am against is having one of my favorite games in the entire world constantly mocked for 12 whole years of being a ripoff of a game that only existed for only two years prior. There are miles of shallow, bland, half-baked uninspired knock-offs in video games. Crash Team Racing isn’t one of them.)

Hey those guys have trees growin' out of their heads. What the heck am I playing?

Let’s set the stage for why some people just weren’t happy with Mario’s GameCube outing. The year is 2000 and people are excited to see what the GameCube can offer. During a tech demo, and if knowledge serves me correctly it was the same tech demo that showed what Link and Ganondorf could look like on the ‘Cube (please don’t quote me on that!), a video detailing a supposed game called Super Mario 128, the proposed sequel to Super Mario 64, was teased. Being the usual characters that gamers are, our first and only assumption was that the tech demo was a definite statement of the game’s existence, showing over a hundred Marios running around, traversing spherical platforms. Naturally, we were confused when we instead got Super Mario Sunshine.

To quell some fears regarding Super Mario 128, while the game was scrapped, the concepts certainly were not. A number of other games were born from the ideas it created, such as Pikmin, Twilight Princess, and Super Mario Galaxy. And also, according to Nintendo, Super Mario Sunshine, a game that couldn’t actually run on either the PS2 or Xbox due to the amount of colors its graphic used (fun facts!).

Man, we really need to stop obsessing over tech demos already.

The basic plot of Sunshine is actually a lot different than most Mario games. No, not so different that Peach isn’t kidnapped and Bowser isn’t the Big Bad once again (that never changes), but the overall game is a drastic shift away from any other Mario game to date and stands alone as something wholly unique. All Mario games include the usual grass levels, water levels, snow/ice levels, fire/lava levels, sand levels, and underground levels, plus perhaps a castle, fortress, or haunted house for good measure. Sunshine, thankfully, does not include any of these as we know them.

Instead, Sunshine gives us a tropical village, a beach, a harbor, an amusement park, a scenic waterfall, a hotel, a village suspended by gigantic palm trees, and a resort island as the hub world. Can you catch the theme here? Everything takes place on the vacation hot-spot Isle Delfino and revolves around that one unified theme. It’s like Mario just went on holiday and we all got to join him.

I absolutely love this concept and need to stop and let it sink in. Mario is one of those characters that people whine on about never changing his formula, never switching things up or doing things different. Sunshine was a very clear attempt to try something different than every other Mario game, both with the setting and the gameplay mechanics themselves, still completely unique again to Sunshine. People forget that everything was different- not bad different but just different- and as a result Sunshine was one of Mario’s least successful adventures. Why would anyone wonder why Nintendo hasn’t taken any real risks with him since?

You're darn right!

Speaking of that gameplay, this time around Mario is joined by a sentient hydropack named FLUDD that dispenses useful information while also acting as a spray nozzle, a hoverpack, a jetpack, and a propeller. Water and graffiti are at the center of everything as Mario is mistaken for someone who’s been painting the island in sludge, easily cleaned with a few squirts of water. The platforming is drastically different than most Mario games thanks to the hover feature of FLUDD (no longjump here), but that doesn’t mean the game is easy.

Oh man, the highlight of the game comes when you encounter your first secret level. Each stage had one or two, placed in a cave or open doorway or some such, and when Mario jumped inside he’d be teleported to a place that can only be described as Platforming Hell. FLUDD would be taken from you (eliminating your hover feature safety net) and you’d be expected to get to the end of some of the most difficult Mario stages in his long history. Each level would be just a series of elaborate challenges suspended over insta-death that’d push you to utilize Mario’s primal skills with triple jumps, flips, wall jumps, and careful timing. These challenges were just straight up hard, and they’re worth the price of admission all by themselves. Plus, a snazzy a cappella version of the Mario theme plays during these stages, and who doesn’t like that?

Still, the game isn’t without some drawbacks. For one, this is the only Mario game that contains a fully voice-acted script, meaning that Peach, Toadsworth, and sadly Bowser all have full speaking voices. Bowser Jr is cringe worthy, but when Bowser chimes in with what sounds like someone doing a mocking parody of the character, things go from uncomfortable to just plain painful. At least there isn’t a whole lot of this going on, so it’s by no means a deal breaker. I’m just saying Bowser sounded better in the Super Mario Bros Super Show.

Also frustrating are Blue Coins. In all other Mario games, Blue Coins are just coins that count for 5 coins or something similar, but here you must collect 10 to get a Shine Sprite (the Power Stars of this game). There are 120 Shines Sprites, just like Super Mario 64 had 120 Stars, but 24 of those Shines come from these Blue Coins, which are hidden everywhere in levels to the point of being ridiculously difficult to find. Some are hidden in obvious places, but then others pop out when you spray random objects, forcing you to spray everything like you have OCD. That was a bit much, but yet again, not enough to ruin the game for me.

Have you ever seen Bowser so sad? I think it's because you weren't playing the game.

Even though Sunshine gets a bad rap, a lot of Mario mainstays come from the little island including the Piantas, the Noki, Shadow Mario, Petey Piranha, Toadsworth, and even Bowser Jr. You can see the influence reaching to the Paper Mario series, the Mario Kart series, and even into some of the sports titles besides continuing trends set up here in the Galaxy games. Nintendo certainly hasn’t just abandoned the memory of Super Mario Sunshine, despite what many may believe.

Were I to come up with a hypothesis as to why Sunshine has such a bad reputation, I think it would come down to two reasons colliding head on. The first is that this was the Mario game on the GameCube, a system that only Nintendo hardcores seemed to love (such as myself, which is why it’s my favorite system). The second is that the game breaks away from so many Mario traditions that it’s a bit jarring at first. I mean, neither Koopas or Goombas even make an appearance, or a large handful of other classic Mario enemies, so longtime fans may have felt like this one didn’t technically “count” or something, especially owning to the cornerstone of the game being FLUDD and cleaning pollution from the game.

If the water backpack mechanic was broken then I could understand the frustration, but it was awesome, so what the heck was the problem?

I think it was just unfortunate timing as the game is gorgeous to look at, even by today’s standards, has a soundtrack that’s severely under-appreciated as well, and was bold enough to try something very new in a series that’s been and still is regarded as formulaic to a fault.

Don’t let this absolute masterpiece go to waste. You’ve got a perfectly serviceable GameCube built into the Wii, so head out and find Super Mario Sunshine at a used games store. It can’t possibly be too expensive. Go play and enjoy. Besides, are there any other Mario games where Mario wears shades and a Hawaiian shirt? I didn’t think so.