As a child, part of the Christmas ritual for me and my siblings was snuggling up with the basket of Christmas books that came out with the decorations every year. The illustrations were so vivid, the books always smelled a little bit like cinnamon from being in a box with Christmas ornaments all year, and sometimes I just want to float back to when I was 7 years old, curled up with my stuffed Rudolph and wearing a slightly itchy Santa hat and reading about the Christmas robin, the ten little angels, and the town that forgot about Christmas!

1. The Christmas Robin by David Hately.

The Christmas Robin tells the story of a fat little pair of robins who are feasting on some crumbs left on a windowsill one December when the robin wife glances into the window, sees the Christmas tree, and realizes, as robin wives are wont to do, that if she is to compete with the other robin wives she must have some of that tinsel for their nest. She sends her long-suffering husband on a dangerous journey inside the house to steal some of the beautiful tinsel. He is in the Christmas tree when he is discovered by the family on Christmas morning! He begins to sing, probably begging them in bird-language to please spare him the same fate as the turkey in their kitchen, and they are utterly charmed. The next day the tree is thrown out, still covered in tinsel, and Mrs. Robin is able to decorate her hearts’ content while Mr. Robin no doubt visits a divorce lawyer. Just kidding, of course. Birds can’t visit lawyers. The illustrations are completely charming and to this day I am convinced that I need a live bird for my tree. Still trying to convince my husband on that one.

And I apologize for the snark. Despite loving this book, even as a kid I thought the story was a little silly. What moral shall I take away from it? Needy wives should demand jewelry from their husbands? If you are a good little WASP family you might get a real-live robin on Christmas morning? I don’t know… but I suppose every Christmas book isn’t required to have a lofty message. Some of them are just fun to read and pretty to look at, and that’s okay with me.

2. Ten Christmas Angels by Ann Rickets

The battered picture above is my own personal copy, very well-loved to the point of falling apart. Yes, it is a board book for chubby little fingers. The book follows the exploits of ten little Christmas angels who flitter around Earth doing good deeds, delivering treats, decorating trees in the forest, caring for cute little baby animals, etc. The illustrations are just BEYOND charming, and you get to learn how to count to ten as a bonus! I will never forget the last page, which shows all ten little cherubs descending a golden staircase to go celebrate Christmas in heaven. Pure magic!

3. The Lost Present by Angela Holroyd

This one took me a while to remember the name and then find it- history seems to have all but forgotten this little gem. The Lost Present tells the story of a family of mice whose slightly-backward and less-than-well-dressed country relatives come to stay for Christmas. Tilly, the young city mouse, has made a beautiful quilt for her mother as a Christmas gift but in the process of transporting it has lost it behind a dresser and now, calamity and woe, the cat is sleeping in the living room! She enlists the help of her country cousin Marmaduke, silly pants and all, and learns that there’s much more to him than meets the eye. She is eventually able to teach her brother to view Marmaduke in the same manner rather than avoiding him simply because he seems strange. What I most remember about this book is the ridiculous attention to detail in the illustrations. Everything is mouse-themed, and there is even a tiny replica of the slightly-creepy Whistler’s Mother painting (please tell me I’m not alone in thinking it’s creepy), the human face replaced with that of a mouse.

See? Creepy.

Weird, the things that stick with you! Anyway, this book is hard to find now because as far as I can tell it’s out of print, but if you can get a hold of a copy (and, of course, assuming you love picture books as much as I do) you will be disappointed neither with the quality of the illustration nor with the sweetness of the story.

4. The City That Forgot About Christmas by Mary Warren

This one is very special because it actually predates my childhood by a good 25 years or so- the book that we had growing up was actually the same copy that my mom read as a child. The City That Forgot About Christmas was later made into a cartoon, and it tells the story of Matthew, a jolly woodcarver who visits a town that has completely forgotten about Christmas. The inhabitants are just as you might expect- less perverse than Sodom and Gomorrah but certainly just as unpleasant, given to yelling at their children and brawling with each other. (You know, as people are prone to do when there is no Christmas to be found.) Matthew teaches the town about Christmas once again, and as he does so he begins to create a life-sized Nativity scene that will be ready on Christmas Eve. Inspired by his gentle, giving spirit, the townspeople join in and it becomes a joint project teaching the town about what Christmas means. Christmas Eve comes around and the Nativity scene is beautiful. Families are brought together to enjoy the scene and spend time together… and Matthew is nowhere to be found.

The plot is nothing new- mysterious stranger appears from nowhere and teaches the true meaning of Christmas and then disappears- but it’s sweet just the same, and if you celebrate Christmas for sake of celebrating Jesus then this would be a great pick for your kids if you can get a hold of it.

5. A Pussycat’s Christmas by Margaret Wise Brown.

Margaret Wise Brown is the author of Goodnight Moon and Runaway Bunny, and she knows how to write beautiful, quiet stories perfect for snuggling down with your little snuggly wuggly. This one might win for most beautiful illustrations, by the talented Anne Mortimer. For the book’s title character, Christmas is experienced entirely through sensations like the smell of oranges and cinnamon, the rustle of wrapping paper, the warmth of a fire, and the mysterious spectacle of a tree in the living room. A Pussycat’s Christmas is a beautifully sensory experience that would make an excellent bedtime story for Christmas eve.

Nom nom nom.

What are your favorite childhood Christmas books? Did you read and love (or hate) any of these? Do you have any traditions involving Christmas books?

Christmas is more than just video games

Christmas is only a week away and if you’re like me, you haven’t done much shopping yet. Thankfully Amazon makes it incredibly easy to find the popular toys and get them to your doorstep practically overnight. I don’t advocate just picking out random toys for your kids and loved ones, but if you must, you must. Amazon has a list of “best selling” toys so for all the parents and grandparents that don’t know exactly what to buy, here’s my take on a few select items from Amazon’s list.

Flying Shark R/C Blimp

Terrorizing the cat was never easier.

Okay, this is just awesome. C’mon, a flying shark! What kid (or adult) wouldn’t want a giant flying great white shark? So what if it’s just a remote control balloon…it’s a shark! There’s also a clown fish version of this wonderful R/C blimp but I feel sorry for the kid that gets the clown fish only to find out his friend down the street got Jaws. Of course, for every unit of awesome there is usually a unit of suck and this floating predator is no different. You’ll need to stock up on AAA batteries, which might not be an issue, but I’m guessing most people don’t have an extra tank of helium hanging around the house. Yes, this bad boy needs some gas to get into the air and that ain’t cheap. The toy itself will run you $30 and from the looks of things a helium tank runs anywhere from $50 – $75, so this cheap-looking toy quickly becomes uncheap. Still, it’s a flying shark.

Check out the Flying Shark on Amazon

Perplexus

David Bowie not included.

Perplexus is an aptly named puzzle game that seems to put the old fashion labyrinth game into a plastic sphere. Perplexus looks confusing at first glance but I see a lot of fun trying to move your marble up, down and around all the twisting pathways. The toy suggests ages 6 – 12 but looking at this thing I’m not sure folks 12+ could easily solve this one. If nothing else, Perplexus would even look cool standing still. I can see one of these on my office desk at work as just an interesting object but then also as the “I can’t stare at my computer screen anymore” break toy. Perplexus comes in several flavors and skill levels, each of which goes for about $20. If you’re looking for something different but still somewhat educational, this would be a good choice.

Check out Perplexus on Amazon

Snap Circuits

Next step, soldering!

Electricity is one those things I wish I had learned more about when I was little. I loved learning about circuits and switches in elementary school but that’s where it stopped. Today I’m not sure I would know how to turn on a light bulb but having Snap Circuits would certainly help. There are several Snap Circuits kits, the larger models coming with buzzers, lights, sensors and then some. I can’t draw a schematic to save my life but the 8-year-old that has this certainly can. This is the type of toy I wish I had gotten when I was younger if only to re-discover it as an adult. One of the best feelings in the world is outgrowing a toy and then finding out later as an adult that it’s still a lot of fun and that you never really outgrow some toys, especially ones that teach you something. This is the type of toy I look forward to giving my own child and watching their excitement when they make that buzzer go off. Considering there are a ton of projects within Snap Circuits, there’s a lot of bang for your $35 in this one.

Check out Snap Circuits on Amazon

Settlers of Catan

Christmas wouldn’t be complete without a board game, right? Sure, you can take the easy way out with the latest licensed Star Wars game or one of the 124 varieties of Uno, but if you want a real game that will last forever, Settlers of Catan is a good choice. Catan is a strategy and resource management game that pits you against up to four of your friends. Every time you play, the board gets shuffled around so you have to adjust your buying, spending and trading accordingly. Work to conquer the land and kick out your opponents to take over their settlements! Catan has more complex rules than some other board games but this is truly a game you can enjoy at the age of 40 as much as you can at the age of 14. Buy this for your pre-teen and they’ll have a game for life. Battleship and Trouble will come and go, but Catan is forever. I admit, $30 seems steep for a board when you can nab Monopoly for less than $10, but I guarantee this will not be money wasted.

Check out The Settlers of Catan on Amazon

LEGO Mindstorms

Truckasaurus got nothing on this.

You can’t go wrong LEGO. There’s a LEGO set for every budget and every size. Need a few stocking stuffers? No problem. Need something that will last more than 10 minutes? No problem. Need something that will be interesting forever? Also, not a problem…if you go with the LEGO Mindstorms. The Mindstorm sets are something I want right now as a 30-something but just can’t justify the $200 price tag. Yes, $200 for a LEGO set. But before you scoff and scroll on, these Mindstorm LEGO sets turn your regular LEGO bricks into moving robotic creations. Packed in with all the LEGO bricks is software that lets you program them to do your bidding. Want your LEGO robot to spin and dance when someone turns on the light? You can make it do so. How about a LEGO dinosaur that will pick up and crush Hot Wheels? Again, not a problem. When you were young and in your LEGO prime you always dreamed of making your creations actually move and do stuff, and now with Mindstorms you can make that happen! It might be cliche but in the case of Mindstorms, your imagination really is the limit…well, that and your bank account.

Check out Lego Mindstorms on Amazon

Simon Flash

Simon says...mabye?

I know I’m the first person to poo-poo modern incarnations of classic toys (and I have every right to) but Simon Flash caught my eye as an interesting spin on an old favorite. The original Simon is still one of my favorite puzzle games and I wish I still had mine. Between the lights, sounds and speed, Simon is a toy that still challenges me to this day. Simon Flash sounds like it follows the same formula but instead of beating on a UFO-shaped piece of plastic you have to arrange colored blocks that magically know when you’re right and wrong. Classic Simon had you hitting colors in order but they always stayed in the same spot. Simon Flash looks to challenge you a little bit more by making you actually move the colors around. This might be another reinvention of the wheel that is all bark and no bite, but I’ll give it a try for less than $15…it certainly beats the Uno robot.

Check out Simon Flash on Amazon

Educational gifts don’t have to suck

I just realized that all of these toys are more or less educational…well, maybe not the flying shark. From learning electronic circuits and programming to challenging your spacial reasoning to learning how to divide and conquer a small island of villages, there’s something that will be great fun for the kids (and adults) on your Christmas list. The best part is many of these toys are timeless and will last a lifetime. Why not give them a shot?

Tis the season

Ah, Christmas. Wait, what’s that? It’s only Thanksgiving? Well would someone please tell the stores so that they can stop playing that stupid Paul McCartney song?

Okay, so Thanksgiving. It might as well be Christmas because if your family was like mine growing up then you usually combined both holidays into one. My family was somewhat spread out so traveling two months in a row wasn’t the easiest thing to do, so every year we swapped between making Thanksgiving and Christmas the actual holiday. We’d all gather at the grandma and grandpa’s house and spend a day playing with toys, watching football, eating a lot of food and then playing games…and this was way before video games.

Actually, that’s a lie. I had my Nintendo and I usually took it with me to my grandparents because they lived out in the country and there wasn’t much else to do. But during the holidays the video games took a back seat because playing table top games with my cousins and family was far more enjoyable. It didn’t happen but once a year so you had to take advantage of having people around. Plus, with parents and even grandparents on hand it was the one time when we could all do something fun together. I’ll attribute these times as to why I love games so much…they really are the one thing everyone could enjoy, regardless what generation they were from.

But the real challenge every Thanksgiving evening was the debate over which game to play. Everybody had their favorite, I’m sure, and I did too but it really didn’t matter as long as we were all playing. Of course, then we had to all refresh ourselves on the rules, set up cards and boards, and just spend way too much time getting started. Some of the games were simple, others required a pencil a paper just to figure stuff out, but they were all fun and able to keep my family interested…which was somewhat of a chore in the first place.

So this holiday season, whether it be Thanksgiving, Christmas, or the popular Thankschristmas, don’t forget to turn off the television and put away the Wiimotes for some good old fashioned table top fun. Here are some games that are guaranteed to get your family laughing together.

Monopoly

The ultimate family game if for no other reason that up to eight people can play at the same time. We all know that Monopoly can last a long time, but when you’re playing with more than even four people the game speeds up quite a bit. Money is flying all over the place…houses are being placed and railroads are being bought up left and right. And if you played like my cousin, you bought everything you landed on and conned the rest of the family out of their money with fast-talking trades. One year we had to go dig through my LEGO bricks so he could build enough hotels and houses.

Just don't let grandma be the banker...she's shifty.

Rummy

Nothing beats a good card game. Board games are great but they often have a lot of parts and a lot of rules that just end up making things confusing. Card games like Rummy are hard to screw up but are just as fun. My grandparents taught me rummy and my grandmother would whoop up every year when we all played. You might be more into the euchre or hearts but the next time you have a few aunts and uncles hanging around, start up a quick game of rummy and you’ll probably learn something about them you didn’t know before.

Rummikub

So you think rummy as a card game is too easy? Try Rummikub and your mind will ache, partly just from reading the rules. At its core, Rummikub is the rummy card game just played with tiles instead. Each player tries to be the first to unload all their tiles by creating matching sequences and like-numbers. That might not sound like much but then throw in the part where you can rearrange the tiles on the table in any way you want and you’ll quickly find yourself spending way too long trying to get rid of more than just one tile. Rummikub is a spacial learner’s paradise with a healthy dose of number patterns. It might take a few rounds to get the hang of it but once you do you’ll want to play all night.

Rummikub. It will challenge your brain, your mind and your head.

Uno

A card game for the ages. And when I say Uno I mean straight up Uno. Not the fancy Attack Uno or Uno Dice or Uno Slam or any other of the bastard Uno games that have come out in past several years. Just tried and true Uno. All you need is a table with a person in every seat, no batteries required. Just like rummy, Uno is understood by everyone but I’ve found that Uno brings out the swearing a little more than rummy so beware.

Reverse!? And then a skip?! C'mon, man!

Pictionary

This was my personal favorite game to play during the holidays, but only because I loved to draw (and still do) so I thought I had a distinct advantage. However, I quickly realized that my skill at drawing Richard Nixon didn’t matter much when my teammates still couldn’t guess the answer, leaving it obvious for the opposing team. This is another game that will bring out the best vocabulary in people…and not just swearing but the things people would guess is hilarious. The laughs per minute when playing Pictionary is also off the charts, so make sure you have plenty of paper and pencils.

Cards and dice can save your holiday

In a time when everyone in your family has a smartphone and video games, it’s easy to forget how much fun “simple” games can be. I also know it’s tempting to just play the electronic versions of some of these games (even I can acknowledge the marvelousness that is Monopoly where you don’t have to make change) but playing these games at the table where they belong isn’t so much about the game itself but the people you’re playing with.

The time between Thanksgiving and Christmas is quite possibly the only time you’ll meet with extended family all year, so why not try to enjoy their company and have some fun? You don’t have to talk about your job, or school or your problems elsewhere in the world. You just need to have fun…and that’s easier than you might think, I don’t care how old you are.

Some assembly required.

When Star Wars could do no wrong

I was a Star Wars kid. Everything was either GI Joe or Star Wars, and I mean everything: movies, action figures, books, posters, toys and even games. Somewhere around first grade I got the Return of the Jedi Battle at Sarlacc’s Pit board game. It was awesome…in first grade. When you’re young anything with “Star Wars” tattooed on it is cool, but sometimes a bad game is just a bad game.

And when you knock Boba Fett in, it burps.

Better looking than a half-built Death Star

However, let’s first give credit where credit is due. This game looks cool. I mean, look at it! Jabba’s sail barge is sitting on top of the Sarlacc Pit. After you assemble the cardboard pieces you’ll find you have an actual pit that angles into the Sarlacc’s mouth, and it all looks awesome. Unfortunately, you can’t say the same thing about the game pieces. Sure, you have a fine selection of Han, Luke, Leia or Chewy (no Lando?) to take and beat up Jabba’s finest goons, but they all look horrible. The pieces are molded fairly well but it looks like they were painted by Nick Fury. I know the figures are small but come on, put some effort in to it, huh? I’ve painted mini-figures before and it’s not that hard…and this is Star Wars, show some respect. Yet even with these flaws, when the whole thing is put together it looks quite impressive sitting on your table. It just begs you to come play.

Wait, wasn't Leia wearing a slave girl outfit on Jabba's sail barge?

Less fun than a bacta tank

The game might get lots of style points but when it comes to game play, it fails worse than a ton-ton past the first marker. Playing the Sarlacc Pit game involves little more than moving your pieces next to each Gammorean guard and knocking them off the side into the pit. I know that sounds kind of cool, but there is absolutely no challenge or skill required to do so, and there’s barely any luck. You draw a card, move a few spaces and knock over the bad guy. There’s no way to really fail and that’s never a good thing. And before you start saying that I’m not analyzing this as a kid, think again, because I was a kid with this game and even back then it got boring because there was no challenge. You pretty much knew how the game was going to end before you even started. Even though the game manual makes the game sound quite complicated and interesting, it’s all just a Jedi mind trick.

The Sarlacc Pit game quickly became less of a board game and more of a Star Wars play set. Without any interesting rules, I would get out this game just to play with it like I would with any other toy. I would use my own action figures and vehicles, and it was a lot of fun. I don’t need rules or playing cards to have fun knocking Boba Fett, Nikto and Jabba into the Sarlacc Pit. Oh, and you might notice that Jabba is conspicuous by his absence in my photos. That’s because the Jabba game piece probably ended up being part of other action figure adventures, especially since I wasn’t lucky enough to have the actual Jabba play set.

Looks aren't everything, even a galaxy far, far away.

Yoda couldn’t even save this game

You wouldn’t think that playing on Jabba’s sail barge would ever be boring, but that’s what you get in the case of the Sarlacc Pit board game. This is just another example of something mediocre being disguised by the Star Wars name. The problem is, this game came out in 1983 along with the movie, well before Star Wars branched out into television, cartoons and home video games. I don’t think I’m alone when I say that I’m tired of all the Star Wars stuff out on the shelves right now, most of it just trying to cash in on the franchise, but this game proves this was always the case.

It’s easy to complain and talk about how good things were “back in the day” but not everything was better, even if it was something we loved like Star Wars. I wrote recently about some board games being nothing but a gimmick, all flash and no substance, and the Battle at Sarlacc’s Pit game is a perfect example, but even then it’s really cool to admire…and hey, it’s still Star Wars.

Check out more photos of this game and other toys on Flickr

Waterworks, still fun after almost 40 years.

Plumbing has never been more fun

When it comes to card games, I’m pretty bad. I’m not very good at rummy, poker, euchre or even Uno, for that matter. Board games were always more my style, but Waterworks was an exception to the rule. Released in 1972, well before I was born, Waterworks was a game I always remember having in the house and wanting to play. Waterworks is a very visual game and I think that’s why I liked it so much. It was a card game that didn’t rely on knowing number patterns or scoring points.

If you’ve ever played the Pipe Dream style video games, like the one from the NES days, then you’ll be able to jump right into Waterworks. The goal of Waterworks is to connect your water faucet to your water spout. That sounds simple enough but you can’t just start laying down pipe willy-nilly, you have to carefully match card orientation from start to finish to keep your water flow uninterrupted. Again, this might sound like an easy challenge but standing in your way are lots of leaky pipes and unexpected turns…all thanks to your opponent.

Those darn lead pipes! Use a wrench to keep the water flowing.

Competitive pipe laying

Waterworks supports up to four players, although I’ve only ever played with two, but even then it’s a mad dash to lay down your own pipe while finding the best time to screw over your opponent. In Waterworks every person can play their cards in on any other players’ plumbing. You draw your random pipe card and then decide if you want to discard it, use it to get yourself closer to the victory, or use it to throw off your opponent. However, you’re not limited to just giving your opponent bad cards, you can apply a strategy if you want.

Along with “good” pipe cards that carry water ever closer to the end, there are also “bad” pipe cards that show leaky pipes. You can give a leaky pipe card to your opponent at any time – assuming it matches card orientation – and your opponent can’t win unless they repair the leak. You can repair a bad pipe by simply laying down a non-leaky pipe card on top, which may take time, or you can take the easy way out and spend one of your wrench tokens to instantly make a repair. Of course, you only have a few wrenches and once they’re gone, they’re gone, so you want to use them judiciously. You can also confuse your opponent by adding non-leaky pipes to their plumbing. This might not sound like much in the way of punishment but consider that your pipe card may divert your opponent’s plumbing in a way that didn’t expect…or in a way in which they have no matching cards in their hand, which means they’ll have to draw cards and waste time until they get one. If you really want to mess with your friend, just lay down a T pipe and watch them scramble to find a cap.

To win at Waterworks you must first have at least 15 pipe cards between the start and finish. Once that requirement is met you win, assuming you don’t have any leaky pipes or open ends. Like real plumbing, your pipe paths have to make sense and they can’t be left open. Fifteen cards might not sound like much of a requirement but when you consider you have to match card orientation and that you’re at the mercy of random card pulls, you’ll find that most game sessions require far more than the 15 card minimum. A game of Waterworks goes pretty fast too, maybe 15-20 minutes at most, even for an “intense” game. But if there’s one thing Waterworks does well it’s that it makes you want to play again and again. You may only intend to take a 20 minute break to play cards, but you’ll soon find yourself wasting an hour trying to best your friend at quick draw plumbing.

When was the last time you saw a drain in your throw away pile?

Plumbing in style

I mentioned that gimmicks in games are a typical sign that a game isn’t quite as fun as its bells and whistles may suggest. Waterworks is a good example of how to balance gimmick with gameplay. The pipe cards in Waterworks are modeled after real pipes, both galvanized and copper, whereas a modern version would probably be all cartoony and childish. The draw and throw away pile is in the shape of an old bathtub that comes complete with a drain! And the wrench tokens you use to make quick pipe repairs are incredibly detailed and they’re even metal, another thing you probably wouldn’t see in a modern card game. The wrenches were always my favorite part of the game, mostly because they looked real and were brass. It also didn’t hurt that they were the perfect size for my GI Joe action figures, which makes it even more surprising that these little wrenches survived my childhood.

When you look at the whole game, the entire design and presentation of Waterworks is a real gem. Everything from the logo down to the instruction booklet are all wonderfully designed and follow the style of the time. I don’t recall the last time I saw a card game manual with varying typefaces and tons of pictures to explain how to play. Like I said, Waterworks is a very visual game and that’s even true when you’re learning how to play, and that’s pretty rare (and awesome). As a bonus you’ll also get a box that features a wonderfully 1970s family enjoying the game…although it appears like they’re enjoying it in their underground lair. And is it just me, or does the mom remind you of the mother from The Wonder Years?

If this happy family doesn't make you smile, you're a robot.

Four decades of plumbing fun

Waterworks was probably a gimmick game in when it came out almost 40 years ago. I don’t know how popular it was or how long it lasted before it fell off store shelves, but I think Waterworks is a game that deserves a little revival. I have to say that an 40th anniversary edition would be pretty sweet! I’d like to see a Super Waterworks that has a double-sized deck and requires you lay down twice as many pipes before you can win. I want to see my plumbing snake all over the room so I can wallow in my own pipe-laying glory…or maybe that is just a pipe dream.

Brian is a freelance writer that blogs, tweets, plays with Hot Wheels and even co-hosts a weekly podcast.

The game of Life as I knew it...Art Linkletter approved.

The sweet Life

Like many of the games I had growing up, Life was another garage sale find my mother picked out, and surprisingly enough, the game was complete. I remember it being a huge box and when I got home discovered an equally massive game board…but this was no normal game board. Whereas Monopoly just had some simple, ordered squares on it, Life had mountains and buildings and a giant spinner! It was like the Wheel of Fortune was in my living room, only smaller. Better yet, every player drove a car, which means I wasn’t always arguing about being the car like I did when I played Monopoly. The board was a lot of fun, even though it looked like it was designed by Stevie Wonder, and the cars were cool, but better than all of that was the money.

The game of Life introduced me to denominations of cash I could never have imagined. I thought I was rolling big time with a $500 bill in Monopoly, but now I had $50,000 and $100,000 bills at my disposal, each with some old guys’ pictures on them. This was a step up from Uncle Pennybags…it felt more legit. Life felt like an adult game. It didn’t hurt that Life also had a few extras like promissory notes, fire insurance and life insurance, and you could even play the stock market. There was a lot going on and keeping track of everything was quite a chore for any child, but I liked that challenge. I liked that it demanded a little more responsibility…and I also learned what the heck a promissory note was.

Thankfully some things never change

Predicting the future

One thing I couldn’t have predicted was just how much the game of Life follows what the average person’s real life was really about. You start out pretty much poor and then go to college, then get married, then acquire some kids and then experience a bunch of random events that could pay off the first time and then bankrupt you the next time, eventually all leading you to a life of riches or (usually) a trip to the poor house with nothing more to show for it than a good story. Say what you want, but the game of Life lived up to its name. Life introduced me to the importance of insurance and showed me the stock market is always a gamble. It also showed me you never want to have more than two children and apparently you can buy yourself a nice yacht for a mere $36,000…not bad.

Of course, my whole experience with Life is based on the 1960s release of the game, which featured a whole-hearted endorsement by Art Linkletter on the box. To this day I couldn’t really tell you who Art Linkletter was or why his endorsement on Life made a difference, but every time I hear his name I just think of this game. Nonetheless, this version of the game felt and looked just like the time period. Even though I was playing the game in the 1980s, I knew it was older than that and that was part of the fun. I always liked learning about the history of the game and I loved thinking about my parents playing this same game when they were young. It felt special knowing we all have stories and memories about the same game.

I'm surprised they didn't increase the number of children you could have.

Life comes to an end

Unfortunately, like many of my toys and games, Life lost its attraction and became cannibalized for other purposes. In this case, that cause was Monopoly. I find it ironic that Life served as a replacement for Monopoly only to have Life be eaten alive by a Monopoly addiction later in life. My friends and I would play some hardcore Monopoly to the point where we needed more cash, houses and hotels. LEGObricks served as super hotels while the $20,000 and $50,000 bills from Life ultimately served as Monopoly money. You’ve never seen a free parking pot until you’ve seen a few $100,000 bills in it, each with Art Linkletter’s face on it. Thanks to Monopoly, my yard sale game of Life was slowly dismantled and eventually got so out of whack and missing parts that it was unplayable. I think my game of Life eventually ended up in the trash, although every now and then I find a random auto insurance policy in a box of old toys.

Life ain’t what it used to be

A few years ago while my wife and I were wandering the aisles of Target looking for something to do, we decided to buy the game of Life and relive a bit of our youth. Of course, what we found on the store shelf was not the big 1960s version I grew up with. No, this was an updated version with cartoon characters and smiling families all over the place. I was not amused and not impressed, but I was in for even more of a shock when we started to play with a few new rules and changes.

If only real pay days put 50s in my pocket.

It had been a while since I had played that original game of Life so my memory was a bit fuzzy, but as we played through the new version I started to notice quite a few differences that just kind of confused me. This modern game of Life introduced career cards and salary cards, as well as “Life” tokens that are redeemed at the end of the game for some extra money points. Apparently just meandering through the twists and turns of Life earning and spending money wasn’t enough. The career cards tie directly to the salary you command and help you quickly feel depressed about your luck before you even earn your first Pay Day. There’s nothing worse than seeing your friend get $80,000 being an athlete while you’re stuck with $30,000 as an artist. I feel like the original game of Life kept things a little more fair, at least to the point where your luck was limited to what square you landed on. However, the one way these new careers lend themselves to being a better game is that some “pay” squares on the board are tied directly to a career, so you’re not always paying the bank. If you land on a square that makes you buy a painting, your money goes to the player that is the artist rather than the bank. I admit that’s kind of fun, but only if you have more than two players, which in my case, isn’t that often.

Even though the new game of Life adds a few rules and concepts to the game, it’s entirely playable, but there’s one area where they just dropped the ball entirely – the design. Not unlike the card game Mille Bornes, the 1960s version of Life had a very simple and stylish design. It wasn’t adorned with a bunch of eye candy and it focused on what was important. The game board today is almost over done with cartoons and photos but even that I can forgive. What I can’t forgive is the complete un-design of the money. Life used to have some stylish bills that made you feel like you were playing with more than just fake money. The old Life money had very ornate designs with etched pictures of people and all the frills a real dollar bill has. This new game of Life dumped all that in favor of a more traditional Monopoly-like design that is little more than a color and a number and it no longer feels important. It doesn’t make you want to hold it and not let it go…it’s just, bad. On top of that, apparently they also felt things like fire insurance and promissory notes were too complicated. They dropped fire and life insurance entirely from the game and now we just have a basic “bank loan” rather than a beautiful, red IOU note. They even replaced the car tokens with an SUV. No longer can you take your family of six out on the town in your big, green Cadillac. Sorry, you’re stuck with the Durango.

Changes in car tokens, money designs and careers are one thing but when you change the end of the game you’re just asking for trouble. If you look hard enough at the game of Life you’ll notice that now you can’t really lose. Sure, one player will have more money than all the others but you can no longer end up in the “Poor Farm” as you could before. You’ll either go to the prominent “Millionaire Acres” or the less-classy “Countryside Acres,” which sounds more like assisted living. Either way, you never end up in a place that sounds too bad, which really isn’t how life always turns out is it?

Only one word can describe that money - boring.

A life to enjoy

Despite all this poo-pooing, the updated game of Life is still fun. It’s the same core game that I played when I was little, with just a few extras. However, it’s unfortunate that many of the additions don’t seem to add much to the game. Changes like these always make me wonder why Milton Bradley thought they were needed. I understand that Art Linkletter might not carry the same weight now that he did in 1962 but did the game really need a major overhaul? Lets just say that the modern version of the game of Life in my closet now doesn’t get played all that much, and I don’t think it’s just because I’m 20 years older. Although, I don’t care how old you are, throwing down a couple hundred grand on the board still feels good.

Folding fun for all ages

We all learn origami at a young age from friends or in school. I used to fold fortune tellers during math time (although my mom taught me them as “flea catchers”). At some point in school, probably around fifth grade, we read Sadako and the Thousand Paper Cranes and we all learned how to fold the classic origami crane. For a week the whole class was making cranes during class, at lunch, on the playground and out of that I learned how to fold a butterfly.

My first folding love, the butterfly.

The butterfly became my favorite thing to fold and I forgot how to make a crane. The crane was boring. I was making butterflies all over the place, big and small. The butterfly was great until learned how to make the best origami animal of all time, the jumping frog.

The jumping frog was relatively simple to fold and actually jumped when you pushed its butt. I was only one of a few kids that could fold the frog and I made what I thought was hundreds of them. I gave them out to my classmates and we had frog jump competitions during indoor recess. Unfortunately, by the time I hit middle school I had forgotten how to fold everything…except the butterfly. However, by then folding the butterfly was more of a mental competition than anything. It was easy to fold and I challenged myself by trying to fold it on ever smaller squares of paper. Not only was origami a great way to kill time, it became a great party trick that still works to this day.

Just press his butt and he hops! You can't beat that.

I had more or less forgotten how much I loved folding origami until my wife bought me an origami desk calendar for my office at work. I didn’t think there would be a calendar that could out-do the paper airplane calendar but the Page-A-Day Origami calendar did just that. This desk calendar gives you instructions on how to fold hundreds of things and I quickly felt like an origami master, fascinating not only myself but my co-workers as well. I learned how to fold flowers, boxes, elephants, knights and yes, even my beloved jumping frog.

Five origami animals that aren’t too easy but aren’t too hard

5. The Penguin is another simple animal fold that looks far more complicated than it is. The penguin is fun because you can fold them in various sizes and have your own little march of the penguins. Folding instructions

Foxes, no wait, coyotes...hmmm, it's cute all the same.

4. The Fox is made in with a few basic steps and is very cute. You can actually make the fox and call it any animal you want, so long as it has pointy ears and little tail. Call it cat or a cougar or coyote…it’s all about how you decorate it after it’s folded. Folding instructions

3. The Panda has some more complicated folds than the others but this fat little bear looks great. And who knows, you might be able to teach him kung fu. Folding instructions

What's that? Timmy fell down the well?

2. The Dog is a two-parter which is kind of anti-origami if you ask me, but it’s so darn cute you can’t pass it up. Since the head sits on the body, you can create different poses. There is also a cat that folds similar to the dog, but as a dog person, Fido makes the list. Folding instructions

1. The Jumping Frog is one of the most fun animals to fold if only because it does something more than just sit there. After a dozen folds you’ll have a frog that jumps when you push his rear end. Great for rainy days, kids parties and board room presentations. Pretty neat. Folding instructions

Brian is a freelance writer that blogs and tweets about toys, games and other fun.

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Now that's a board game cover to win over just about any child, am I right?

Flash back to my childhood years in the early 90’s for a moment, will you? I’m aware of the X-Men mostly through the Saturday morning cartoon featuring the X-Men costume designs made popular by Jim Lee, but other than that I’m nowhere near what you’d consider a master on the subject. I know the main X-Men and their powers, but that’s about it. Oh, and I know that the X-Men are stupidly awesome, but that’s a gimmie. Therefore, when I unwrapped a random box with the X-Men Under Siege game sitting in wait for me, I was elated. But that was before I actually tried playing the game.

I believe in the entire time I’ve had this game, somewhere in the ballpark of 15 years, I may have played a full game through once, possibly less. The largest reason behind this is the amount of dedication you have to have in order to understand even the slightest bit of the rules. The instruction manual for the game is 14 pages long. That’s 14, a double-digit number, for a board game aimed at kids. I reread it just before writing this article and I still don’t have a full grasp for how it’s played.

The gist is that while the X-Men are away from the mansion, a bunch of evil mutants infest it and force the X-Men to get a call that it is, as you may have assumed, under siege. Opening the box reveals one huge game board (more on that in a second), dozens of little pieces (more on those as well), and 18 X-Men figures.

Tranaslation: A whole lot of confusion.

Those figures were very obviously the highlight of the game for me as they didn’t require the game to be played to find enjoyment with them. Sure, they were just little gray chunks of plastic, none in any sort of dramatic pose, but they were still the X-Men and they were cool. Though, here’s an excerpt from the manual: “Each X-Men character has a superbly sculpted miniature figure…If you wish, you may paint your figure.”

First, I’m just astonished that the game had the gall to say the figures were “superbly sculpted.” Honestly, they were passable at best and lazy at worst. Secondly, don’t act like you’re allowing people to do what they wish with the contents of the game they just purchased and own. If I want to use the figures for Monopoly instead, then I’m totally allowed to do that, even if the game hasn’t specifically told me so.

Regardless of snootiness, the figures themselves were certainly more than you’d expect from a game like this, especially 18 of them. Normally, the best you could hope for were paper cutouts for each character, or at most maybe six individual figures, but 18 full pieces is at least something to be amazed by. Frequently, I’d pull the box out and just play with those, specifically Archangel as he had wings, and have my fun that way. But playing the game proper would be a whole new level of challenge, all because of the sheer amount of moving parts in play.

The game board was one reason for the complexity. For one, the game folded out the long way instead of just opening up into a square-shaped board. No, it opened up into a double-length board representing the X-Mansion and all the rooms. Each floor is stacked on top of the other, but I would have preferred some space to work with, specifically when talking about a table size. A smaller table works for the standard game board, but a double-length board requires a longer table and creates more of a headache that frankly isn’t needed.

No, the headache is plentifully supplied thanks to the illogical amount of game pieces littering the board and the play area. You’ll need damage counters for the X-Men themselves, damage counters for the evil mutants, room pieces for each room secured, blood tokens for specific damage done to enemies, cards used to move around the mansion and perform other actions, and even stat cards for the X-Men.

All of it just seems way more complicated than the typical kid will bother with.

Looking through the game and reading the instructions, what it seems like more than anything is that the game wanted to be a full-blown tabletop RPG but just wasn’t allowed to be. Every X-Man has a rating for combat (Wolverine is the highest with 7 by the way), plus a durability rating that says how many counters they can have, and an intelligence rating that says how many cards you can carry (Beast wins with 4). What draws the D & D connection is the X-tra Skill they all posses that lets them do something unique to them, like reroll a die if it lands wrong or heal quicker when not in battle.

Still, the choices of X-Men is somewhat strange. You’ve got Archangel, Banshee (who wasn’t that big at the time this game came out), Beast, Bishop, Cable, Cyclops, Gambit, Havok, Iceman, Jean Grey, Jubilee, Longshot (who I’ve never heard of, even after extensively reading Marvel comics), Maverick, Nightcrawler, Psylocke, Rogue, Storm, and Wolverine. In this lineup you have all the X-Men from the cartoon, plus the gang from the original lineup thanks to Archangel and Iceman. But where was Colossus? Where was Kitty Pryde? And if we’ve got these strange also-rans, why not replace Longshot with Forge or X-Man? Oh well, can’t win ‘em all.

Speaking of which, the conditions for winning were a little odd from my perspective as well. As you played through the game, you were supposed to check every room on a floor for evil mutants, then engage and capture them through battle. When enough rooms on a floor were secured, it was just assumed that the whole floor was secure as well. It’d be like beating Magneto and just assuming the attic was clear, even though Sabertooth was hiding behind some old mattresses, giggling and kicking his feet.

At least the game came with a survival guide to the mansion. That's cool, I guess.

Eventually, all the floors would be secured and the game would end, whereas each player would have to tally up his or her score. As you could guess, the player with the highest score would win. There were variations the game gave, such as just going until someone had a score of 30 or something, but that’s even worse. “Okay Professor, we got all the evil mutants.” “All of them?” “Yeah, we got a few. Looks like Longshot was the winner for some reason.” “Then why do I see the Brood making sandwiches in the kitchen?” “I dunno. Smell ya later.”

Despite the silliness, I still want to give the full game a playthrough with a group that knows what they’re doing. It looks like a heck of a lot of fun when done right. The trick is actually getting that magical group together. Did anyone out there ever receive this game as a kid? And even better, did anyone ever get through an entire game before just breaking down and assuming Cyclops blasted Beast through the attic? Leave a comment and let me know about your childhood memories. I mean, mine are Xtra Special, but I’d rather hear about yours now.

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One person’s trash…

My childhood was filled with board games, especially prior to fourth grade when I got my Nintendo. My mother was smart and bought most board games at garage sales, which meant our closet was full of all sorts of games, good and bad. However, without those yard sales, games like Pac-Man and Turbo wouldn’t have made it to our table.

Four Pac-Mans, two ghosts and a lot of marbles.

Woka, woka, woka, woka…

Pac-Man needs no introduction as a video game. The board game however might need a little more explanation. Like many children’s games, the Pac-Man board game made use of some moving parts so that there would be “something to do” while playing. Every one of the up to four players controls their own Pac-Man and moves around the board stomping on white marbles. The plastic Pacs actually pick up the marbles with each move; a neat mechanic that works pretty well. As a kid, I used the Pac-Mans to pick up other small things around the house, but it never quite worked.

Using the Pac-Man to eat marbles is most of the fun.

The goal of the Pac-Man board game is to eat the most marbles, but unlike the video game, eating ghosts doesn’t really serve much purpose. One interesting part of the game is that players get to move the ghosts in an effort to eat other Pac-Mans and block pathways. If you manage to eat a Pac-Man with a ghost, you not only send the player back to their starting position, but you also get two marbles from their stash. With more than two players I can see this gimmick working quite well, but with two players you end up just passing the same two marbles back and fourth. There are, of course, power pellets that give you the “Ghost Gobbler Privilege” and let you eat ghosts, but again, that doesn’t do much more for you but keep you out of trouble.

I remember loving to play Pac-Man when I was a kid. Moving the Pacs around and eating up marbles was a lot of fun. I’m not sure I ever played by the actual rules but it was fun all the same. However, even as a kid, I hated having to place all 72 marbles on the board just to take them off again. I’m not sure how else you would translate Pac-Man into a board game, but I think I’ll just wait until Pac-Man Battle Royale comes out and enjoy multiplayer Pac-Man where it is done best…on my TV screen.

It looks impressive, but looks can be deceiving.

Some video games should stay in the arcade

Pac-Man was a successful arcade game that probably deserved a board game. Turbo on the other hand, was not. Turbo was a Sega arcade game from 1981 that I only just played recently and I can tell you the video game is pretty bad. It has clunky controls, choppy graphics and just isn’t that much fun…and neither was the board game.

There are only a few redeeming values to Turbo the board game. One is the huge tri-fold board that unleashes a curving, four lane track. The game also uses spinners, which I thought were more fun than dice, and the game is about race cars, which I’ve always loved.

There’s not a lot of strategy or even thinking in Turbo. You just move your car around the track, hoping to be the first one across the finish line. Your success lies solely in the luck of the spinner. Even when I was a kid, Turbo wasn’t much fun. I used the board more as a race track for my Micro Machines than I did as a game. When my friends and I played Turbo, we just made up our own rules to make it…well, fun.

As you can clearly see, girls can enjoy turbo, too.

While the game itself stunk, the real value in Turbo is the game box. The box art on the front and on the board is great in that cheesy-awesome arcade kind of way, but what’s even better is the back of the box. As is common for board games, the back of the box shows children overly enjoying the game, and this box was no different. If only Turbo was a much fun as the fine feather-haired children made it look.

The curse of licensed games

Sometimes converting a video game to a board game can work, and other times it doesn’t. All licensed games like these rely on the player buying it because they know the source. That’s great when you start with a good source, like Pac-Man, but trying to turn a crappy video game into a good board game is probably not a good idea. As for an Angry Birds board game…if it involves me slingshotting birds across my living room, it can’t be that bad.

More photos of Pac-Man, Turbo and other toys

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A classic game with a “Marvelous” twist. Get it?!

Boy does this bring back the memories. The original Chutes and Ladders has got to be one of the first board games I’ve ever played. Now, as I look back on it, a good 18+ years older, it begs a question: What kind of impact could a simple game like this possibly have that keeps it going for so long with so little changed to the actual game? Is it deep like Monopoly? No. Just spin the spinner and move your token. Does it require the development of any mental skill like Blokus? No. As long as you can count, you’re set. Is it addictive or appeal to a wide audience like Tetris, Yahtzee, or Connect 4? No, it doesn’t really do that either. Yet despite all this, or even because of it, I believe that Chutes and Ladders is the absolute perfect game for young children in their developing years.

The original Chutes and Ladders, as I remember it, casts you in the role of one of four everyday neighborhood kids who are in a race with each other on a 10×10 square grid that counts from one to a hundred, and the first one to reach the 100 spot wins. Why are they racing? No idea. How far does each square represent? Who knows? But as the race begins, we soon learn that Chutes and Ladders becomes less about the destination and more about what happens in between. If a player lands their character on a space that depicts a child performing a good deed like a chore or a selfless act, their character gets to climb a ladder, skipping ahead up the board to where it displays a reward for such behavior. If, however, their character lands on a space representing a reckless or naughty act, they must slide down the chute back down the board as punishment.

That’s right kids. If you save a cat from a tree, not only will you have a new loving pet, you will move up 56 blocks, whatever that means.

One of the reasons I feel this is the perfect game for preschool-aged children is the same reason why an older demographic might find it empty and downright boring. It is a game that relies completely and utterly 100% on chance. Don’t get me wrong, there are dozens of games in which your odds of wining are strictly swayed by the roll of the dice, or the spin of a spinner, or the turn of a card, but even games like Monopoly, Life, or Sorry require some semblance of a strategy and have complex rules that require attention. With Chutes and Ladders, it is completely unnecessary. All you can do is spin the spinner and hope for the best. This makes it perfect for children because it means that while playing it, they have just as much a chance at winning the game as their older, smarter parents. As kids, they deserve to play something where everyone has an even chance of winning, no matter how much experience you may or may not have. It teaches them to play fair.

Speaking of teaching, I believe there is another valuable lesson to be learned with this game. MB Games was very careful in how they crafted this game. The four character tokens you play as in the game are the same kids represented on the board performing the good/bad deeds that cause them to go up and down the board. Yet it’s also very careful not to be biased, as it shows all of them doing both good and bad deeds evenly. What this is trying to show us is that everyone is capable of good and bad. Ideally, Chutes and Ladders wants to teach kids a moral: In a perfect society, everyone starts their life off at the same place. As you go through life, you will be rewarded for your nobility and punished for your recklessness. Yet no matter how good or bad you are, how far you really succeed in life will still require some faith and a lot of luck. Yeah, it’s a cheesy kids’ moral, but it’s a moral for kids nonetheless.

Another great thing about this game? It’s versatile. There are so many ways to design this game. You can find so many versions of this game now in all kinds of franchises that really benefit the moral up and down system. There is a Chutes and Ladders edition with Sesame Street, Dora the Explorer, and even for Toy Story 3. The Marvel Super Hero Squad edition I saw in stores had eight playable Marvel heroes: Spider Man, Wolverine, Hulk, Iron Man, Thor, Captain America, Silver Surfer, and…the Phoenix? (Seriously, that’s the female character they choose to use? Why not Storm? Or Rogue?) Anyway, the board cleverly depicted the heroes doing the good deeds up the ladder, while having the villain characters like Venom, Dr. Doom, and Magneto performing the evil deeds down the chutes. Oh and let’s not forget the infamous “Snakes and Ladders” knock off.

What? What is this? This isn’t fun.

Okay, now to be fair, “Snakes and Ladders” was actually the original title of the game when it was first manifested in Ancient India. Back then, it was a game Hindu practitioners showed children to teach them about their moral beliefs and to seek the “ladder to salvation” and avoid vices. Using snakes in that game made sense, as they each represented one of twelve sins of Hindu culture that would inevitably lead a man’s rebirth in a lower life form.

So technically, “Snakes and Ladders” taught kids in India almost the exact same lesson hundreds of years ago that “Chutes and Ladders” continues to subconsciously teach kids around the world today. The biggest difference really is that it takes the whole religious element out of the game and replaces it with common do’s and do-not’s all human beings can relate to.

And that is why I think that Chutes and Ladders is a wonderful part of American culture that deserves to be remembered. It’s the game every kid wants to play. Easy to learn, colorful, and fair.

Just remember kids. Whatever you do, don’t play Eels and Escalators with Spongebob. He gets way too into it.

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Anyway, let’s talk about Pictionary while we’re here. Sound good? Good.

Anyone feel like playing with me?

Pictionary’s history isn’t anything incredibly exciting. It was developed by Robert Angel and published by Seattle Games Inc in 1985. That’s pretty much the whole story there. But like so many other games, Pictionary doesn’t need an elaborate backstory or an origin story as convoluted as, oh, let’s say Tetris (another day). Pictionary is a simple concept and it comes from humble beginnings. So let’s get into the rules!

The rules are equally as simplistic as any other game you could play. Players break off into teams and go around the game board, landing on various squares color-coded to the categories of what they’ll be drawing: Yellow for Person/Place/Animal, Blue for Object, Orange for Action, Green for Difficult (difficult is a thing, apparently), and Red for All Play, an instance where, as you may have guessed, everyone plays. Some versions have a Purple square that lets you pick what you’d like to do, but I’m not talking about these fancy editions or anything; I just want to draw already!

Okay, so as you get your card, let’s say you landed on a Yellow space, you’ll have to attempt to draw the word in the yellow for your team. Let’s also just say that the word is “Crocodile.” You have approximately one minute to draw something that makes them guess the word is “crocodile” without using letters or numbers or speaking. So really, it’s like charades for artists. I seriously can’t make the game sound more elaborate than that. It’s just that simple.

So how to you plan strategies for such an event? Assuming your family loves you enough to actually play Pictionary with you, they’ll probably also know who among them can draw and who can’t. Stacking a team with only artists is a good way to win, but not a fun way to draw unless you add more rules like “No Drawing Faces” or “No Right-Angles.” Then we learn who the real artists in the family are!

Letting the DVD draw for you is cheating!

As I’d mentioned a while ago in How To Beat Your Friends In Board Games, a perfectly great strategy is to have a shorthand code for just about every instance. Let’s say you get the word “Dollhouse.” Perhaps you and your partner already know that if you draw just the roof part (^), it means “House,” and a simple stick figure with round hands means “Doll.” You can draw a dollhouse far faster and have your partner know exactly what you’re attempting to draw, pretty much every time. This way takes a lot of clever planning beforehand, plus it sort of breaks the fun of the game, but if you want to win every time, there’s your strategy.

And that’s essentially everything there is to say about Pictionary. You can find a version in just about every department store or online at all the usual places. Me, I’m still hoping to convince my family to play sometime. Maybe someday they’ll love me enough.

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Of course you may have also come to another problem. Only immediately after completing my review did I realize that there are several different versions of the game now available. To make sure no one gets confused during their search for the perfect gift, I’m here to give a run down of all the spin-off’s that the Classic Blokus has inspired since its release.

This Retrospective will act as a sequel to The Classic Blokus Retrospective. If you have not yet read that one, please do so.

Blokus Duo

In which the two colors of the rainbow NOT in Classic Blokus take center stage.

Also known as “Travel Blokus”, Blokus Duo is a more personal, head-to-head take on the game. The basic rules are very similar to Blokus: Both players alternate turns placing their pieces on the board, advancing by touching the corners of their pervious pieces, until there is no more space for either of them to advance. Player with the most squares covered in their color at the end wins.

There are two main differences. First, to accommodate 2 players instead of 4, the board is smaller and has less space, shrinking from a 20×20 square grid to 14×14. Second, instead of starting at opposite corners as one familiar with the original might assume, Blokus Duo has two specifically marked squares near the center of the board in which both orange and purple players must place their beginning pieces. This is good, because it enforces confrontation right away without a lot of chance to play it safe or build up a defense. Unlike two players who would just start at opposite corners nowhere near each other, it’s less likely to become a stale mate.

Personally, Blokus Duo is a grey area for me. While on one hand, I understand it’s easier to find one friend to play with than three, and that it’s also travel size and can be taken anywhere, both of which make it more accessible. Yet at the same time, it’s like playing a one-on-one game of Super Smash Bros: while it may be compelling and competitive for hard core players, half the appeal is gone when the fun and chaos of four people fighting amongst each other all at once isn’t there.

Blokus Trigon

Don’t be fooled. It’s just as easy to learn as the rest.

The most unique thing about Blokus Trigon is how it looks. Instead of a Square grid, the board is a Hexagon-shaped triangle grid that looks more similar to Chinese checkers, and the pieces you play with look like shattered pieces of the triforce. That’s all that’s really different.

The game starts exactly like Blokus Duo with four players each starting on one of four designated marked spaces near the center, and then for the rest of the game it plays exactly like Classic Blokus. While I will not deny that this is a unique way to change the game up, I can’t help but thinking why they didn’t take advantage of the concept and change it up a little more. They could have easily made the board slightly bigger and turned Blokus Trigon into a 6-player game. Yeah that would make it even more difficult to get a full game started, but seeing as the board was already a hexagon, wouldn’t that have made more sense? Maybe the game would be too chaotic then? If it aint broke, don’t fix it I guess.

Blokus 3D

Okay, now even I’m a little confused.

Imagine Blokus Classic is Super Mario Bros. 3 for the NES. Blokus Duo would be Super Mario Bros on Gameboy (a shorter simplified version that can be played on the go), Blokus Trigon would be Super Mario World for the SNES (an almost completely identical game, just with different graphics), then Blokus 3D would be Super Mario 64. What I mean by this is that Blokus 3D, of all the iterations, feels the most like its own unique game.

The rules take a little longer to explain, yet are still simple enough to figure out once you’ve played through it. In all the previous games, the main objective was to place as much of your colored pieces on the board as possible, whereas in 3D, the main objective is to place as much of your colored pieces on the board that are visible from the top view of the structure. This is done by using a set of three-dimensional pieces that, this time, must advance while staying in contact with their respected color. The players predetermine what structure they will be building up to prior to beginning the game. Choices include either a tower, wall, staircase, or pyramid. Once all players have placed as much of their pieces possible within the compound of their structure, they count how many pieces of their color are visible from the top, minus any pieces they didn’t play. Player with the most points wins.

So there you have it. Four ways to experience the strategy game that, with your help, can define the future of strategy games, and I mean future quite literally. Seriously, even when you look at Blokus and see its square battleship-esque grid and polygonal shaped pieces with their bright see-through colors, it aspires a very futuristic almost sci-fi image. Imagine that fifty years in the future, myself and every other old person will gather around a park to play Blokus while reminiscing about the good old days when video games had controllers, Elijah Wood had an acting career, and America didn’t get bought out by China.

Want more articles on board games? Check these out:

-All Out War: A Risk Retrospective

-Victory Never Tasted So Sweet: A Candy Land Retrospective

-A Retrospective on Trivial Pursuit the Board Game

Think Risk, except replace dice and chance with Tetris pieces and actual strategy.

Blokus falls in the ‘simple to learn yet challenging to master’ category of board games. You can easily figure out everything by watching one play through, but here’s the run down: Each player chooses a color and takes a set of 21 pieces made of all variations of 1-5 squares. Players take turns placing pieces on the 20×20 square grid, each starting from the corner of their color.

Each new piece you place must touch one of your other pieces, but only at the corners. Pieces of the same color cannot be in contact along the sides. However, there are no restrictions to how your pieces touch other colors.

Your goal is to cover as much of the board with your pieces as possible, while blocking your opponents from expanding their own territory. The game ends when all players are blocked from laying down any more of their pieces. The player with the most squares placed on the grid (or easier to tally, the player with the least number of squares left unplaced) wins.

These are all the shapes you have to work with. Rule of Thumb: Start with the 5-square pieces early.

The game plays with 2 to 4 players. With 2, both players take two colors each and alternate between them. Unfortunately games played one-on-one can very easily be turned into stalemates. With 3, each player takes one color and alternates every turn playing for the remaining color. This is sort of interesting, but, to be honest with ourselves, the only real way to play is when you have 4 solid players. Half the challenge and fun of this game is having to micromanage between offensive and defensive approaches to 3 opponents at the same time.

What’s also nice about Blokus is that no matter how good you may get at it, the game never seems unfair or crippling to newcomers. In fact, get too good and all three players will easily single you out as a threat and start gunning toward you first. While it is fun to make alliances and pick out threats, toward the end of the game, all deals will be off as everyone will be scrambling for whatever little space is left.

In college, the name of this game was eventually changed to “Blok-Gus.”

In my opinion, Blokus is the ideal party game, and I’m probably not alone in this, seeing the several awards it has won since it’s creation, including the National Competition Winner by Mensa, the High HQ Society. It is the perfect combination of being very easy to pick up and learn how to play, while also making the players think. It doesn’t suck time or become monotonous like Monopoly or Sorry, and has incredible replay value. It’s also the perfect gift for that special strategist in your life, or anyone for that matter. Find it at your local retail toy section, or check it out online at their official sight. www.blokus.com.

Want more good family games? Check these articles out for tips:

-“Ain’t” Is Not a Word: A Scrabble Guide For The Lazy

-Mario: A Retrospective Part 7 (On Mario Party)

-How To Beat Your Friends In Board Games

-I Am Scattegories And You Can Too: A Scattegories Retrospective

Remember this game? Well you should.

Spy Web is a game I’d best describe as Battleship meets Guess Who? in as much as you try to outsmart your opponent via clever placement of your pieces and determining through simple questions how they’ve placed their pieces. Confused yet? I’ll get into the details, just hold on.

Researching Spy Web was a bit of a tricky task since the first thing that pops up in Google for “Spy Web” is naturally anti-spyware software. Also, don’t do a Google image-search for Spy Web, unless you have your preferences set to filter inappropriate content, because you will get a few pages full of very, VERY adult images. Even Wikipedia, my go-to for research, doesn’t list Spy Web as a thing. Dang, is this game really that obscure?

So the premise of Spy Web pits two factions of spies against each other, one with names based off sea creatures such as “Beluga” and “Manta,” and the other with names based off birds such as “Buzzard” and “Osprey.” Each side has nine spies to place in a 3-by-3 board very similar to the way you place ships in Battleship, i.e. hidden from the other player. The first player to accurately determine the other player’s spy arrangement wins the round.

Also, I love the colors here. Doesn't it look spy-like?

The way this is determined is through asking three questions: “Who is [character name] pointing at/looking at/listening to?” You know this because every character tile is either pointing in some direction, looking in some direction, or listening in some direction, sometimes all three at once.

For example, you could ask “Who is Buzzard pointing at?” and you might get an answer like “Buzzard is pointing at Vulture.” You’d then have to use this knowledge to determine where to start placing your enemy’s character tiles. Oh, and in case you were curious, unlike real spy tactics, lying is totally uncalled for here, otherwise the game doesn’t work.

Snazzy characters. Why didn't Guess Who? have spy gadgets in it?

The concept is fairly simple, I admit, but something about it resonated with me as a kid. I became mildly obsessed with creating the perfect, “uncrackable” combination of spies by looking for formations that resulted in a spy not being looked at, pointed to, or listened to by any other characters, or better yet, making it so that no spies connected to any other spies on the board. It’s set up so you can’t really do this, but it ‘s fun to try.

Adding the spy theme to the game really sold me as a kid. It could easily be a sort of board game version of “telephone” whereas the nine characters are just kids set up on the grid, but that would have been sort of lame. Spies are cool, and unlike zombies, they haven’t overstayed their welcome. I highly recommend giving Spy Web a look, though good luck sifting through the other “Spy Webs” in Google. Don’t say I didn’t warn you. Apparently spies really don’t like to be found.

Want more about board games? Check these out:

-Apples to Apples, Dust to Dust: An Apples to Apples Retrospective

-Game Cards Do Not Actually Talk: A Guess Who? Retrospective

-Just Don’t Panic: A Retrospective on Catch Phrase

The box just makes it look so fun! Could that be a lie?

The year is 1993 (not really, but we’re on that memory-traveling trip here so pay attention), and Milton Bradley are doing what they always do, namely, producing board games. As a young and impressionable kid, easily swayed by commercials and the like, a TV ad for a new game called 13 Dead End Drive started playing, telling me that it was the end-all beat-all for board games and that I’d never be happy without it. Naturally, I ran right up to my mother and demanded it for Christmas.

Those unfamiliar with the game, I’d best describe it as Clue meets Mouse Trap. The premise is that a rich old woman named Aunt Agatha has died, leaving behind a massive fortune, and 12 other characters are potentially in line to inherit it all. The Mouse Trap aspect comes into play seeing as how there are moving parts to the game that are typically more fun than actually playing.

Since there are 12 characters vying for one ultimate prize, they each try to kill each other off using five different traps scattered throughout the board, shaped like a mansion more or less. Above the fireplace is a picture of Aunt Agatha, but 12 character portraits are shuffled and placed in the picture frame instead. Whichever character is displayed at any given time is the character favored to claim the money, meaning if they get out of the mansion alive, they win the game. All the while, a detective is walking up the front pathway during gameplay, and if he reaches the front door, whoever is displayed above the fireplace wins the game. The final way to win is to just kill everyone else.

Poor Aunt Agatha. If only she knew what her death has done to this group of people.

As a kid, the coolest parts of the game were springing the traps on people, of which there was one that tossed a character off some stairs, one that toppled them from a ladder, one that knocked a suit of armor on them, one that hurled them into the fireplace, and one that dropped a chandelier on their head. Setting everything up was a pain, but once the game was up and running, it was all about using the traps.

Players were randomly assigned anonymous character cards determining which characters they were hoping would win, but any player could move any character’s pawn around the board regardless of whether they owned the corresponding character card. This placed the key gameplay mechanic around the act of deception, though every game played by kids would devolve into placing pawns under the traps and killing them. I can’t remember a single time I actually saw the game end by traditional methods.

I’m a little surprised this game was around at all, especially by the mid 90’s. These days I feel parents would go nuts if they heard about a game coming out where the goal was to kill off other players to inherit a huge sum of money, but it could come down to the terminology the manual and commercials implemented to circumvent this stigma. Instead of saying that you “killed” the other players, it was referred to as “getting bumped off” by each other. This totally worked on my childhood mind because in pitching the sale to my mother I told her, “no, you don’t kill anyone, you just bump them off.” She told me that meant the same thing and my mind imploded because, duh, that was obvious to anyone but the brainwashed children watching the commercials.

Really, I just wanted to try dropping stuff on things. I hardly even knew their were rules until someone told me.

These days I don’t have the slightest inkling to break out 13 Dead End Drive, or even the spin-off 1313 Dead End Drive, for a game with my friends. We’ve got far better games to deal with that don’t involve killing off pretend pawns. Our games work far better when we kill each other off as we sit around the table playing Monopoly. At least, I assume they work better. I’ve never seen the end of a Monopoly game, either.

Want more articles about childhood memories? Check these out:

-Forget-Me-Nots: Halloween-Turned-Toys!

-Forget-Me-Nots: The TMNT Pizza Power Board Game

-Sweet Memories of Childhood Cars: A Matchbox Retrospective

Origins and Comparisons

The official game began as an activity aboard a Canadian couple’s yacht in 1954 (dubbed “the yacht game” and later amended to Yahtzee). They soon asked their friend Edwin Lowe (a toy enterpriser) to make some sets of the game that they could use as gifts. Lowe agreed, in exchange for the rights to the game. By 1956, Yahtzee was being marketed as a thinking-man’s dice game.

With such a simple concept, aren't you a little frustrated you didn't think of it first?

Yahtzee bears many resemblances to “Generala” and “Yacht,” dice games from different areas of the world. A consistently popular game for families, Yahtzee was owned by Lowe until Milton Bradley bought his company. Currently, Hasbro owns the game, and estimates 50 million sets sold each year.

So Many Dice

Ironically for me and my recent article, the concept of Yahtzee came from a type of “dice poker” game, and consists of five dice and a scorecard. Players attempt to roll a three-of-a-kind, four-of-a-kind, full house, straight, or a yahtzee (all five dice are the same amount) in order to score higher. The poker-themed combinations are recorded on the lower part of the scorecard, while the higher portion scores you on the sum of the dice. Sorry, no bluffing. That’s called Liar’s Dice.

And this is a wholesome game; there's no room for liars.

The best part of Yahtzee for mathematicians is the probabilities and score possibilities that come from the five dice, three-roll setup. The maximum score is 375, but if the players are using Yahtzee bonuses it can be as high as 1575 points. The lowest theoretical score is 5, but that would require some special strategies of the player.

Since every turn in Yahtzee is three rolls, the probability of a yahtzee (five of a kind) in one turn is 1 in 22 attempts. When thinking about specific yahtzees (like five 2’s), that extrapolates to 1 in 75.

My History with Yahtzee

As a small child, I had no idea such a game existed. I called it the Mickey game, because my family’s set was a Disney collector’s set with Mickey Mouse in his sorcerer getup all over it. In fact, the dice had Mickey in the sorcerer hat instead of 5’s. I didn’t really know the rules until later.

Math was never, and shall never, be my strong suit. But I do remember learning my multiplication tables on the dice from a Yahtzee set. First we would play a fun game, then my father would ask what 5 times 5 was. I initially answered, “It’s a yahtzee. I win!” But I got better.

Even ol' Spud Head seems to know the value of Yahtzee.

It was later still that I applied my mad Yahtzee skills to a casino table. Yep, that family-friendly game taught me the initial concepts of poker, as well as how to calculate the probabilities of craps. Essentially, craps is just Yahtzee with an unnecessarily complicated betting system.

Value of the Game

With all the substandard board games out there today (“Twilight Scene-It” anybody?), I still take comfort in two particular classics: Scrabble and Yahtzee. One teaches vocabulary and spelling, while the other is an entire class on statistical math.

Yahtzee is a game that kids will find fun because of the dice, but as they get older it will become more fun because they are thinking, and Lowe originally marketed Yahtzee as the “Fun Game that Makes Thinking Fun!”

Maybe Lowe should have played more Scrabble. Yahtzee sets go for $10 to $20 depending on the vender and the version. Look for my personal favorite, Elvis Yahtzee, and the elegant Super Mario Yahtzee.

Want some more about classic games? Check out these articles:

-“Ain’t” Is Not a Word: A Scrabble Guide For The Lazy

-Like Capture The Flag With Bombs: A Stratego Retrospective

-Computers Must Be Stopped: A Short Chess Retrospective

Paper airplanes are cheap, easily replaceable toys that can serve dual purposes; anyone ever write a love note and then air-mail it to the recipient? That impresses guys and girls alike. They even make for good improvised activities when lost in the desert…I know from experience.

Grab your favorite folding material and let’s take a look at paper airplanes! (For everyone’s interest, the best material for a paper plane is probably paper…I prefer college-ruled notebook sheets).

History

Naturally, paper planes are as old as paper itself, dating back to 490 BCE. The interesting historical implications of paper airplanes are that they helped define man-made air travel; Leonardo da Vinci folded some paper aircraft in order to develop his ornithopter and parachute designs. Sir George Cayley and other pioneers of flight began testing paper gliders in wind tunnels and natural environments in the late 1800’s as well.

Also, who would have thought that Wilbur and Orville Wright were using paper airplanes to test their designs at the turn of the century? I sure didn’t know that. Someone should tell my third grade teacher that my “wasting time” with aerogami (clever, eh?) actually lead to the first manned flight in Kitty Hawk all those years ago.

Someone's always gotta be a smarty pants and overachieve.

My Encounters

Back before school libraries became “media centers,” which are little more than computer labs with books as decoration, we were required to do some independent reading. Early in my student career, the library was a wasteland of “Babysitter’s Club” and “Choose Your Own Adventure” novels.

The kids that chose not to read prose (a considerable amount of my class) instead found the pile of instructional books, and only the cool kids were able to snatch a paper airplane manual. They were the first books checked out every year, and they never came back until June.

Beyond that, my most memorable encounter with paper airplanes involved a road trip in Eastern Oregon. After the pick-up died in the middle of the desert, my father took great delight in teaching me how to bank a paper plane to the left or right (the plane was made from receipt papers out of the glove box). This kept us from losing our minds as we waited for a tow truck.

The Best Way to Learn

While origami is more of an art, paper aircraft involve more science. Kids and adults alike should study up on aerodynamics and physics in order to achieve expert status, but who needs status? I’m here to play, Jack!

It's much simpler than the instructions make it look.

As before with origami, books and kits that come with custom paper are surprisingly cheap. One that is friendly to all ages is Zoom!: The Complete Paper Airplane Kit by Margaret A. Hartelius, illustrated by Cameron Eagle. Complete instructions to start the creativity are necessary, but then one’s mind needs to wander with the possibilities of custom designs.

The Benefits

Even if your paper airplanes don’t fly too far (many of mine have taken dramatic nose-dives into the ground), you’re always learning something by trying one out. If experimenting outdoors, one sees the effects of airflow and the physical properties of their materials in action. Indoors, the emphasis can be heavier on aesthetic design and competition (the same environmental conditions mean a fair game of “which plane goes further”).

Paper airplanes are the perfect activity, because everyone likes to see something bend the rules of physics. In the classroom they may be a dastardly distraction, but there is scientific and artistic merit to the design and experimentation of paper aircraft. Plus they are a whole lot cooler than those dopey fortune teller thingies (can you tell how my fortune was always unfair?).

Fly! Fold your first prototype and become the small-scale, paper version of Howard Hughes. Maybe you can win a contest, such as the one sponsored by the Scholastic publishing company, who put out all those great books I read in grade school…because the paper plane books were taken. …Hope you enjoyed part 2 of our Folding Paper series. Read part 1 on origami here.

So I am here to discuss paper as a toy instead. Why not? It’s cheap, it’s recyclable, and it gets everyone away from their video game systems…for a little while.

You may not be this skilled right away, but with practice and dedication it is possible.

History

Are you familiar with this? I bet you are.

Origami is a 400-year-old tradition from Japan that has been used as a form of 3D art for all ages. The folded paper creations were used as traditional Shinto wedding symbols (paper butterflies represented the bride and groom) as well as good-luck symbols on gifts given by samurai (called “noshi”).
Typically, origami is practiced using square or rectangular sheets of paper. In some circles, folding is the only allowed manipulation of paper to produce origami; glue and cutting the paper may be considered impure by some.

The most common design, a staple of grade-school prowess, is the traditional crane. Other common, kid-friendly designs include flowers, boxes, and various animals.

My Encounters

I remember in fifth grade we read a book entitled Sadako and the Thousand Paper Cranes, and after finishing it we learned how to fold the crane. It seemed different from the usual paper-mâché and Elmer’s glue messes for which we were commissioned. This was reverent, and solemn. For once, it was an art project that did not involve any screaming or running around for supplies. It took pure concentration from an eleven-year-old.

The next year, my teachers seemed to focus the entire curriculum on simulating middle school. Hence, we were given elective periods to choose from. I was skeptic of taking the Origami section due to my being born with stupid fingers (I didn’t take the guitar elective for this very reason), but in the end I made a very competent paper sculpture that consisted of multiple origami pianos of varying size.

For instance, this is not outside my skill range.

Now a college newspaper employee, I was inclined to pay extra attention to a colleague’s manipulation of last week’s edition, which quickly became an oversized Napoleon hat. The grade-school currency is now a pretty snazzy way to impress a coworker, or even a date.

The Best Way to Learn

In general, origami is a low-cost activity because it is one of the few that can be learned out of a book, or on youtube.com. The only necessary material is paper, and the rest can be improvised.

However, there are some time-tested methods for getting certain people interested, namely children. A popular method is for the adult to learn a basic design, and teach it step-by-step to the younglings. If looking for a possible gift idea, try the many origami kits and manuals available in craft stores and book stores. I personally recommend the Origami Spectacular! Kit, which includes a book of instruction in basic designs as well as a large supply of origami paper (in multiple sizes and patterns/colors).

Check for other great books and supplies for origami online. Most of the quality stuff comes from Dover, and Tuttle Publishing.

Benefits

Why origami? What does folding paper do for kids, or even adults? Well, many parents and educators believe that this activity helps illustrate mathematical concepts to younger minds. After all, folding paper involves symmetry and geometry. Also, it helps people of all ages get artistic. The conceptual part of turning a flat material into a 3D object helps people with spatial reasoning. I could almost see an origami activity in the next Brain Age game…possibly for the Nintendo 3DS (see what I did there?). Moreover, origami also has a rich history, both as an art form and as a cultural tradition.

Also, origami has a habit of being freaking sweet.

So, if you are a teacher, parent, or just looking to broaden your own mind, there isn’t a cheaper and more accessible activity than origami. Anything can be a toy, and as a writer for Toy-TMA, I support that fact.

This is part 1 of our 2 part Paper Folding series. Read part 2 here: Paper Airplanes!

Want more articles on the classic side of playtime? Check these out:

-The Purity of Poker

-Beware The Grand Puzzle Master: My Life With Puzzles

-Backyard Shenanigans: Simple Backyard Toys for Spring

-The Plastic Wars: A Retrospective on Army Men

-The Yo-Yo and Why You Should Have One

This counts for my daily fruit intake, right?

For a while in high school I had friends that became obsessed with the game Apples to Apples. It was the only game anyone would bring to parties anymore and the only game people would specifically ask for at said parties. In fact, people would plan parties around playing this game. So for me, I was hesitant to enjoy this game, assuming it was a fad. But was it? It still sells well to this very day. Let’s learn more.

Rules and Context

Apples to Apples came out in the significant year of 1999, famous for being the year everyone wanted to party like it was. It also managed to win a number of awards, such as Party Game of the Year and Mensa’s Mensa Select award. What did this mean to me in high school? Still not enough. I’d have to learn how this game was played first.

Apples to Apples is played with a group of 4-to-however many people all sitting in a circle. Each player is dealt seven red apple cards that have nouns, noun phrases, or gerunds written on them. No, don’t ask me, an English major, what a gerund is because I can’t tell you. You have to be in a special club to know what it means, probably called Mensa. The important thing to note is that these red apple cards will say something like “Rome,” “Bill Clinton,” or “Horseshoes.” One player designated the judge of that round draws a green apple card that has an adjective written on it like “Ridiculous” or “Amazing.” Players look through their red apple cards, pick one that they think best represents the adjective, and anonymously submit their card to the judge.

These are what the cards look like in case you weren't familiar with what cards look like.

Then comes the real fun. The judge reads all the red cards aloud and then decides whose card best fits the adjective. Now, the game can go in two ways here. Either the player picks the one that literally does match closest with no nonsense, also known as the “boring way to play,” or they correctly choose the most interesting card based on other players’ reactions of laughter. One of our personal best when playing was “Helen Keller” for “Lazy.” Politically correct? Nope. Hilarious? Absolutely.

There are tons of variations to this game by the way. Common variations include the judge selecting a red card at random and then seeing how ridiculous it is, awarding the point to the least likely red card, or having to judge from the point of view of someone else like Zack Effron or Barack Obama. I think all of these ways, the official way included, are boring. How do I play the game? I play it like Scattergories.

I learned this variation from my wife and her family. Instead of playing normally, everyone selects their red card and holds onto it, reading aloud their own choice and then making a case for why it is clearly the best. I find this way of playing to be far more entertaining because it places the importance of the humor on everyone in the round rather than just the judge and pretty much ensures that even if you have a dull judge for the round everyone is guaranteed a great show.

With both the official rules and my family’s variation, the most important aspect of play is not the actual box but rather the people you’re playing with. If you are playing in a group of people you either don’t know or aren’t completely comfortable with, everyone is more likely to play it safe and not take greater risks for the sake of comedy. And of course, there is the risk that there is that one boring person in your group that just can’t think of something really funny to submit for their turn. They are unfortunate, but this isn’t the game for them. They should go sit in the corner until everyone else is done having fun. But remember, it’s just a game. With that in mind, it’s only $17 on Amazon.

How can they still be so hungry? This is why America's kids are so obese.

Alright, we’re nearing the end of the week and I’ve talked about video games, Dragonball Z, and some random dude’s CD (albeit he is a talented dude). To round out the week, I should talk about board games, shouldn’t I? It’s all part of the new program my doctor placed me on in hopes that’d I’d enrich my diet. Hey, and how topical, because I figured I’d talk about Hungry, Hungry Hippos.

Our Childhood’s Eating Problem

So what kid hasn’t played Hungry Hungry Hippos at some point in their life? It was quite the publicized game on TV during cartoons and every kid had at least one friend or relative with the game, so it was easily accessible. Something about seeing those cartoon hippos dancing and singing just made the game look and sound amazing. Oh the shock we’d discover.

Hungry Hungry Hippos is one of those games with absolutely no strategy whatsoever. There is no way to outdo your friends short of luck and perseverance or just simply smacking them while playing. The entire game is played in the span of maybe a minute or two and consists of two to four players attempting to make their hippo characters gobble up more white pellets than the others. Whoever has the most pellets at the end of the game wins.

Hippos are fun, and eating is fun, so why is this game so boring?

Yeah, it was just that simple. You just slam on the back of the hippo as fast as your hands can muster without breaking the stupid plastic hippo and hope that you’re doing this motion faster than anyone else currently playing. Sure it’s possible to play by yourself, but you always win. I suppose you could place bets on which hand is going to win, but at that point you just need help. Or a friend. Maybe both.

Regardless, the game was and still is incredibly popular despite it’s simplicity and annoyance. You probably won’t find yourself hosting any Hungry Hungry Hippo tournaments any time soon, but I guarantee you’ll have to play it again when a younger relative, possibly your own child, decides they wish to play.

I myself didn’t have my own game. Rather, I got something similar but different one Christmas called Frog Soccer. It is exactly what it sounds like. Just instead of the game being hippos that eat pellets, you slam your dongle to make a frog smack a soccer ball into another frog’s goal. Whoever had the fewest balls in their goal would win, so pretty much it was the opposite of Hungry Hungry Hippos.

Did you know that the hippos actually have names? Lizzie, Henry, Homer, and Harry Hippo. Except every so often the names get changed. There are versions with Lizzie replaced with Happy Hippo and the newest version calls them Sweetie, Bottomless, Picky, and Veggie Potamus. Why the name changes? Well, you gotta do something with this product over the years to feel like you did something I guess. Lucky for you, the game doesn’t run you too much whenever your child decides it’s hippo time. You can find a version for under $20 on Amazon. As for me, I think I’m gonna go get a snack. I suddenly feel hungry for some reason.