Those of you who read my review of the action figures tying in with the new G.I. Joe movie probably know that I’m skeptical of franchises cashing in on their cred. I’m about to review the video game adaptation of the movie.
To keep it simple, I enjoy the movie-based toys better than the movie-based game. That should suffice for those of you with excruciatingly short attention spans.
Okay, I’ll go in greater detail. Ugh. G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra The Game is, to quote another review, “A bad game.” It doesn’t matter which review I’m talking about, they’re all the same.
Here’s the thing: The game doesn’t know what the heck a good game is supposed to be. I’m sorry, but this game stinks. There are bad controls, bad graphics, bad voice acting, bad level design, bad camera angles…but good extras, surprisingly.
The extras are bonus characters, all of which differ from one another just enough to feel different, and unlockable PSA’s from the original cartoon. Not…not exactly something that I’d consider worth buying since you can see all those PSA’s online anyway, but at least SOMETHING for the true fans.
Otherwise, the game, as I said, is bad. Just like the new G.I. Joe toys are bad. As said before, the various aspects of the game fail compared to expectations of a playable game. There is very limited variety in gameplay, with most of your time spent holding down the fire button as you run around in circles firing at everything in sight. The blaster noise will drive you insane eventually. In. Sane.
Good luck seeing anything when you want to though, as the camera doesn’t care what you’d like to be looking at. Half of the time you’re being shot at by enemies off camera with no hope of accurately aiming or knowing exactly where the shots are coming from. This is why you end up holding down the fire button throughout all the gameplay. Bad cameras are the bane of my existence, and I will not stand for them. Hearing the Cobra Commander scream his lame battle cries just solidifies my hatred.
For $50 it’s an insult. For $20 it’s an insult. It could have made a decent Xbox Live Arcade game at $10, but they’re asking full price for a new video game that was put out just to make money, and it’s obvious.