Twas the Brawl After Christmas


Twas the Brawl After Christmas, and all through the Wii,
Not a creature wasn’t stirring as far as the eye can see.
Only one will survive I wonder who it will be?
This is the Ultimate Showdown of Ultimate Destiny.

(Nintendo Reprise)

Ol’ Donkey Kong was slamming around
All the Kirby’s raiding Hyrule with his mighty ground pound
But suddenly, Link burst from under the temple,
Hitting DK with a Bob-omb, ending his trample.
DK wound up his fist and was ready to rock,
But was caught off guard by an electrical shock.
He was now under the mercy of Pikachu
When Captain Falcon swooped in on Big Blue
And he beat Pikachu with his Falcon Kick
Then Link hit em’ both with a flower Lip’s Stick,
But he couldn’t find the heart to replenish his life
When Luigi came out from under a pipe
And pulled a superscope out from under his hat
Blowing Link away with a rat-a-tat-tat
But he ran out of ammo, so he threw it and he fled
Cause Samus Aran was sniping for his head.


Artwork by Kurio Tsuki


Donkey Kong threw a barrel at Samus Aran,
Sending her on a one way trip to Dream Land
Then Pikachu came back in a quite shocking rage,
But Mario grabbed him and spun him off stage
And Link was badly damaged and about to get floored
By Luigi who came back with a beam sword
But something swiped him off his feet in a flash
It was Fox McCloud with his light speed dash
And he saw Donkey Kong sneaking up from behind
So he reached for his ray gun which he just couldn’t find
Because Link had stole it and he shot it at the ape,
But Mario deflected it with his cape.
And then he jumped in the air, and he shot a fireball
While Luigi became a human cannon ball
The Brothers collided in the air and they fell
Both into the path of Jigglypuff’s Spell.


The Goombas trembled,

And the Koopas cowered.

Up from the Depts

Ascended Giga Bowser

Who Delivered a Slam

That could split the ground

And landed on top

Of Fox McCloud

Who went blasting through the air

Landing back on his ship

As Link hid underneath

To give him the slip.

But Bower saw through

His fight to the death

And he melted Link’s head

With his fire breath.

Then Ice Climber Pink and Ice Climber Blue
And Pokemon the First Movie’s Armored Mewtwo
Zero Suit Samus and Princess Peach
Princess Zelda and her alter ego Sheik
Ganondorf, Metakinght, Ness, Falco Lombarti
Diddy Kong, Yoshi, All the Multi Men of Melee
Toon Link, Pit, ROB, Lucario
Ike and Marth, Mr. Game and Watch and Wario

All came out of nowhere, spawning fast,
And they kicked Giga Bower and his Koopa King ass
It was the most shocking free-for-all the world ever saw
With gamers looking on in total awe.
Fire raged on for a century
Many lives are claimed but eventually,
One man stood in the game of hard knocks…


Solid Snake in a cardboard box.


This was a non-profit fan-based parody
Of Neil Cicierega’s iconic rock comedy.
Hope your Christmas was not stolen by King Dedede.
This is the Ultimate Showdown, Lemon Demon please don’t sue me.


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