Why Are You Reading This? StarCraft II: Wings of Liberty Review

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Here we go, yet another totally pointless review for a game you already know enough about. Blizzard’s super long-awaited sequel to StarCraft is now finally out for the PC and after waiting this long to get it, you either already have it or you don’t care whatsoever that it’s now out. This means my review is more or less just there. So you ready for this? Let the Zerg Rush begin.

I don't even know who this guy is, but I know he looks cool.

As I said, you already know if you want this game or not. How can you tell? You either already have the game, or you don’t. That’s pretty much the decider for this one. There’s no one left on the fence here, waiting for a few more review scores to come in and determine their buying decision. Gamers have already made up their mind about StarCraft II: Wings of Liberty.

I really have no opinion of it. Oh don’t get me wrong, I have nothing but respect for it. The graphics are awesome, the voice acting is excellent, the controls are perfect and the story is engaging. I just don’t have a computer that can play it. And that’s not to say StarCraft II is too hard on computers; I just have a really lame PC without a graphics card. I can’t even play World of Goo or the demo for Tales from Monkey Island, so StarCraft II doesn’t play for me.

If you need criticism, there’s only one I’ve heard and it regards the resolution to the story, or more appropriately, that there isn’t one. Wings of Liberty is only one of three games, and its campaign focuses solely on one of the three races. Don’t worry, you can still play as all three races online in multiplayer, but the single player experience is only a third of what you’ve probably been expecting. The story you do get is great, but you will want more and there’s virtually no chance you’ll get the next chapter any time soon. I’d be shocked if you see it before 2012.

This just looks nuts. But fun. But still nuts.

And look at that, I’m already done with the StarCraft II review. Do you see how pointless that was? Did you even stop playing the game to read this? Probably not, so I’m probably here all alone doing nothing right now. Well then, let’s talk about RTS games and why they’ll never be on a console, or more appropriately, let me rant for a second. If you’re still wondering why there hasn’t been a really, REALLY good RTS on the consoles, it’s all because no control scheme works better for the RTS genre than a mouse and keyboard. I’m not micromanaging dozens of troops all across the map with a freaking control stick. That’d just be stupid. Heck, I can hardly manage it on a PC. Just take your mouse right now and flail the cursor around the screen for a moment or two. You see that? That’s how fast you can move around in an RTS, plus you get exact controls. With a joystick you’re constantly fighting the battle between cursor speed and cursor control, and that’s a battle we may never win.

Okay, my little rant is over and so is my review. Come back on Wednesday and I’ll have a much longer, much more inflammatory article about Avatar, just because I can. Peace out y’all.

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Chris was the former Head Writer/Editor of Toy-TMA. He did a great job overseeing the site and getting new content published regularly. Always more than willing to respond to a comment or two, but pitiless with trolls! He has since moved on from TMA, and we wish him the best.

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