Psychologists suggest that playing is more rewarding for child development than any other behavior. This is because play stimulates many core learning drives simultaneously. That’s precisely why play is fun: we are rewarded for scratching this important – and ancient – itch. To put it another way, we are destined by nature to have fun.
Here’s where it gets more complicated. Children prefer to play in different ways. New parents ask, “is it better for children to play alone or in groups?” The short answer, of course, is both. But the long answer reveals the real concern: some children prefer to play alone and that worries parents more than anything else.
Playing alone is completely natural for children. All kids sometimes crave time alone. However, as children grow, some prefer to play alone most of the time. This tendency sometimes is shyness that dissipates as social skills are learned. Other times, something else is going on. This child might be an introvert.
An introvert is a person who finds comfort within themselves rather than through social interaction. Introverts tend to be reserved and self-reliant. Contrast this with extroverts, who prefer social stimulation to keep them engaged. Recent studies with twins suggest that there is a genetic component to being extroverted or introverted. But since most people are extroverts, the needs and behaviors of introverts often go unnoticed.
Extroversion and introversion reveal themselves in childhood, so it is important that parents pay attention. For example, getting thrust into a lot of contact sports could be considered a waste of time for an introverted child. He or she might enjoy reading more than anything else.
Amusingly, introverts sometimes benefit from their parents’ unique blindness to their interests. A classic example is when parents tell a child to go to his room for being bad. For an introvert, this is not necessarily a punishment.
So what does the child like to do? Is he more likely to sit alone and read picture books or want to wrestle with the kids next door? Keeping tabs on these behaviors can help parents figure out how best to meet their child’s needs.
Playing alone is natural but parents should still introduce their children to social situations regardless. Shyness, which is based on fear, can creep up on people of all stripes.