Doing more with less

Video game soundtracks today are so unimaginative. Making music exciting and dramatic is easy when you have a full orchestra at your disposal. Try making a musical impact when you only have a few “instruments” to work with…it’s a little bit harder yet all the more memorable. Little did I know back in the NES days that the game music of the time would become its own genre more than a decade later.

All of these 8-bit era tunes can now be filed under the music heading of “chip tunes” and you’ll find there is a huge following of composers making new 8-bit style music that rivals some of the best game music that I’ll highlight below. I admit that nostalgia runs high when I hear the 5-channel hum of an 8-bit song, but what I really love about the music is how such a limited set of sounds can make such a huge impact. The best game soundtracks are ones that capture the emotion of what’s happening in the game to the point that it works beyond the game. Think about it…most game music is there to set the tone of the level or action that is happening.

Boss battles got big, ominous music that made you feel the pressure and the importance. Driving games got fast and groovy music. Action games got a strong, grinding beat while fantasy titles about wizards and warriors got the appropriate mythical themes. Now take that music out of the game and drop them into your every day life and if you’re like me, you’ll find some of it fits there too. Under a deadline at work? There’s video game music for that. Blogging about some happy moments? There’s a track for that too…all of it in beeping and blooping 8-bit glory.

The birth of a genre

I’m not ashamed to say that I listen to old Nintendo music a lot…at work, at home, in the car…doesn’t matter. When the mood strikes, I’ll put on my headphones (to spare co-workers) and fire up my favorite tracks. Not only will it take me back to a simpler time when life’s only worry was video games, the music really helps me focus because it’s track after track of songs I love and know…and there’s no lyrics or words to distract me. Pure electric boogaloo.

It doesn’t matter what age or generation of games you are, some music has just become timeless and iconic…songs you can’t escape. The Super Mario Bros theme and Zelda themes being two of the big ones, but behind these monolithic 8-bit scores are many great tracks that you’ve maybe never heard or maybe just forgotten. So here in no particular order are some of my favorite 8-bit game soundtracks.

Mega Man 3

Let’s get the easy one out of the way. It’s hard to find poor music when you look back at the 8-bit generation of Mega Man games, and every gamer has their preference, but mine is Mega Man 3. Not only is this the Mega Man title I remember the most, it is probably the soundtrack I listen too most frequently today. To my best estimation, there is no less than 30 minutes of awesome music as you battle through every stage in the game. Everything starts with a simple little jingle of sorts and then races into non-stop melody that doesn’t disappoint.

Robocop

I admit that I have a soft spot in my heart for Robocop. As a huge fan of the movie growing up, it was only proper that I was a fan of the NES game (a game in which I would later hold a world record). Movie video games were less prominent then than they are now so when they came out you noticed. But what makes the Robocop game music standout, fanboy love notwithstanding, is that it seems a near-perfect port of the actual score. The theme is highlighted during the film’s montage of Robocop kicking ass, and all you do in the video game is punch and shoot, so it’s only proper that the music makes you feel like doing just that. The music really put you in the mindset that you were a part of the movie…at least as much as an 8-bit Robocop can.

Battletoads

Battletoads has two accolades in my book. One is that it is one of the hardest NES games you’ll ever player. Two is that the soundtrack is absolutely awesome. Every track makes you want to keep moving and that’s exactly what you need to do in the game. The highlight of the score comes in the third level when it goes from a slow grind into a high-octane beat while you’re riding the hover bikes. The music matched the moment and if you ever need some music to push you to the finish line, this is it.

Batman

The first Batman game on the NES is on my Games You Should Have Played list and not just because it’s a lot of fun to play, but because it looks good and it sounds good. Unlike Robocop, Batman doesn’t make use of any film music so it’s all original and that’s all for the better. Every track sounds like superhero music should…powerful and hopeful, but not without moments of despair. I’ll argue that there’s not a bad track to be found in the 17-minute soundtrack. Much like the game, this soundtrack is one of the 8-bit era’s most overlooked.

The Immortal

If superheroes and cyborgs aren’t your thing, try out music from The Immortal and you’ll be transportable to your local renaissance fair instantly…assuming the bards were jamming out on NES consoles and not nose flutes. To be honest, the only track that sticks out here is the title track. Beyond that a few tracks can be somewhat clunky with more thuds and beeps that melody, but a few of the tracks set a good dungeon-fighting mood.

Castlevania, Blades of Steel, Lifeforce…or just about any other Konami game

Out of all the 8-bit era games there are two houses that created most of the memorable music. One of them was Nintendo, the other was Konami. You know the Nintendo songs by heart but music Konami games put out was just as good if not better. I know the Blades of Steel music isn’t a popular ring tone like Mario sounds are, but you’ll be hard pressed to find other NES music with as much depth as games like Castlevania (and Simon’s Quest!), Gradius, Contra and one of my favorites, Rush N Attack. It’s hard to pick just game out of the bunch…of course, it doesn’t help that the music across these games was fairly consistent and shared a lot of traits.

Super Mario Bros 2

I know I said I wasn’t going to include any first-party Nintendo games but I just can’t say “No” to the Super Mario Bros. 2 music, it’s just too happy. You can cite to me the history of SMB2 and how it’s not really a Mario game and all that stuff…I know all that, and I don’t really care. Fact of the matter is, this is one of the most light-hearted and fun soundtracks to come out of the NES era. If the music from this game doesn’t put you in a good mood, you’re a robot.

Chiptunes are alive and well

Even though the 8-bit era of gaming is more than 25 years behind us, the music from the games of the day are alive and well, and they’ve been inspiring new artists ever since. Finding old game music online isn’t too hard but if you’re looking for some new chiptunes then head over to places like 8 Bit Peoples and the 8 Bit Collective. There you’ll find people that have composed original chiptune works using NESes, Game Boys, and everything in between. If you’re not sure where to start, I suggest looking up the artists RushJet1 and Virt. All good stuff there that will take you instantly back to 1988.

In this list I focused only on NES games but I’d like to throw in a serious nod to the TurboGrafx 16 console and all the great music it pumped out as well. The TurboGrafx 16 was an 8-bit machine that acted like a 16-bit machine and because of that it’s not really fair to compare it to the NES but technically they are of the same era. Look for Dungeon Explorer and have your mind blown.

My Dirty Secret:

It's not cheating; it's utilizing all your tools for the job.

Before I go any further, I should admit that a lot of my help in understanding different uses of Batman’s gadgets and where every last Riddler trophy and riddle was located came from a magical strategy guide sent to me courtesy of Brady Games. It’s been a long time since I’ve used a strategy guide, but now I remember why I vastly prefer them to online walkthroughs: Pictures!

Here’s my little plug for Brady Games (seriously they’re a dying breed in a lost art, go support them). The Arkham City strategy guide includes pictures on every Riddler trophy, plus a detailed map of the area to let you know exactly where you need to be to find what you’re looking for. Nothing is worse than “Okay, head just north of the Ace Chemicals building and you’ll find the trophy in a corner.” No, I much prefer, “Okay, here’s a picture and the exact location on your map. Go here and do this.” Much better.

Even more, it breaks down Xbox Achievements and PS3 Trophies, Riddler’s Revenge challenges, and includes a whole preface with character bios and large pictures of each of the cast of characters who’ll inevitably cross Batman’s unfortunate path.

Some Skill You Gotta Learn:

A little work can go a long way toward serious beatdowns.

But just because I used Brady Games’ strategy guide extensively to find Riddler trophies doesn’t mean I didn’t acquire a heck of a lot of skills on my own and develop some key strategies needed to turn you from a Batboy into a Batman. A lot of my skill comes from searching for shortcuts everywhere, especially in the Predator sections. This is a direct result of my personality being so geared toward Smash & Grab tactics as having to slow down kills me.

Instead of letting this bother me, I figured out some of the most useful upgrades that you’ll want when playing as Batman. When it comes to Predator gadgets, most of those will just come with time and story progression, so I’ll detail those specifically later on. Combat, however, it where you can set yourself up with a major advantage fairly quickly.

If you’re looking to maximize your effectiveness in combat, you’ll need to upgrade the abilities that let you do the most damage as fast as possible. Don’t worry about upgrading your suit’s armor since if you’re doing things right, you won’t be taking damage anyway. Instead, focus on attacks that incapacitate attackers quickly and effectively, such as the weapon breaker upgrade or the knife attacker KO counter.

How to Punch Like You Mean It:

Follow these tips and no one will laugh at you again.

The Freeflow Combat system that Rocksteady put into place here is the very reason that I haven’t enjoyed other games that include some sort of combat mechanic. Namely, the system works too good to ever want to try anything else. The goal is to rack up large combos by hitting enemies in a fluid series of attacks, counters, and K.O.s, all leading to larger and larger score readouts. A higher score in the story mode of the game doesn’t mean much beyond rewarding you with higher experience point values, allowing you to level up quicker, but if you’re attempting to get three medals in the Riddler’s Revenge challenge maps, here’s all you need to know.

There are nine enemy types to deal with. The first is the standard thug, punching his way at you without putting up much of a fight at all. The second is the knife-wielding enemy, which can become a bother when you’d prefer not to have to counter them. This gets more complicated with ninja assassin women who have swords and can dodge your attacks. Some enemies carry shields and must be dealt with via the stun-jump-jump combo, whereas the electric baton enemies take the jump-jump-strike tactic. Then there are armored enemies, requiring a stun before doing into a beatdown mode, and of course enemies with guns that can shoot you from a distance. Finally, Titan thugs show up as major, unblockable pains, as well as one-armed thugs (Mr. Hammer and Mr. Sickle) who are actually very useful, but we’ll get into that in a moment.

The trick is to prioritize enemies and utilize a very simple strategy in order to maximize your combo and score. First, stun an enemy, preferably an armored enemy as they can take a larger beating. Then, proceed to deliver a beatdown since a stunned enemy will lock Batman into a bunch of repeated pummel punches. While you continue this assault, counter when necessary. By the time you’ve K.O.ed that first thug, you’ll have a combo built up high enough to either instantly dispatch another thug (aim for ninja assassins as those are good to remove from play) or destroy a weapon. I highly recommend destroying all weapons in the area, specifically shields and batons as you cannot attacks coming from either of those. Immediately after using up your special combo move, stun another enemy and repeat until everyone is down.

Don't be intimidated. Remember: The bigger they are, the higher the combo will be when they go down.

Change your strategy a bit when dealing with Titan thugs or one-armed heavies. Titan thugs can easily be dispatched by doing an ultimate stun (three stun attacks in a row), then punching until you leap on their back and ride them around. It’s important to get rid of them first as their attacks are unblockable and even cut into moves that usually make you invincible, such as a beatdown finisher or a weapon-break. Most of the time you’ll intend to dodge when you see them rushing you and just can’t, so it’s best to take care of them early. By the time you’ve dealt with them you should have build up a pretty high combo, thus making your Titan Takedown score you huge points.

Best of all for instantly high combos are the one-armed hammer and sickle henchmen since they are extremely easy to handle. They, too, can break through invincible animations, but it’s easy to plan how to assault them. Once you start hitting, you’re again locked into them as if they were a regular stunned thug. As you wail endlessly, they’ll very slowly move themselves around to wing their weapon. Right as they’re about to do this, jump over them and continue the attack. After over 30 or 40 hits, your combo meter will be incredibly high and they’ll finally go down, leaving you with the rest of the room and easy points. When played right, they’re the best thing to see in a combat challenge as they pretty much guarantee you’ll make enough points for three Riddler medals.

Strike Hard and Fade Into The Night:

Never lose your cool. You own this room. Everyone else is just allowed to play until you decide to end it.

Predator challenges are quite a bit different, but a lot of the same concepts apply. For this you’ll most want to make use of your Sonic Baterang, your Firearm/Mine Disruptor, and your Smoke Pellet. Also, Silent Takedowns will be your best friend. Just like with Combat challenges, know which enemies to eliminate first. The five types are normal thugs with guns, thugs with infrared goggles (which are basically useless if you upgraded yourself to be invisible to them when standing still), thugs with scramblers, and thugs with sniper rifles (these need to go first, always). There are also thugs with mines, but those were never a problem for me.

The one key difference with Predator challenges is that in order to get all three Riddler medals you’ll just have to complete three random tasks, such as scare a thug and then knock him out, or pull an enemy off a platform with your Batclaw. Some get fairly elaborate, such as one that requires you to hit a fire extinguisher with a Baterang and then perform a Silent Takedown in the smoke, and others are downright frustrating, like one that requires you knock out the enemy with the disruptor backpack last.

The order you go about your business should be dictated by the medal requirements. Check those first, and then survey the area. Most of the times, one of the more complicated medals will actually be set up instantly, such as a Double Ledge Takedown or something similar, so some trial-and-error may be required.

Most of the time you’ll have six or seven enemies total in a map, so when you get a chance either right before earning the first medal or in between medals, Silent Takedowns when the opportunities present themselves are incredibly useful. You can very easily take out an entire room with the Silent Takedown alone, but that won’t get you all the medals.

Is Bruce Wayne gonna have to choke a bitch?

When the time does arrive for you to start clearing the room, remember that your Sonic Baterang can provide an instant K.O. when you actually hit a foe with it. Unlike normal Baterangs, it won’t just lock on to your target, so you’ll have to line it up and hope the enemy doesn’t move. A miss will require you to wait for the cooldown period to expire, but if you hit and knock an enemy out, you won’t be able to use it again.

The last two enemies are always the easiest since you can use the Firearm Disruptor and make them utterly useless. When you swoop down to knock out the first, the other will just blankly try and fire at you, only to become confused and then taken out when you get the chance. Save this method for when it makes the most sense, but keep in mind that you only have two uses and then you can’t use it again.

Turn Your Weaknesses Into Strengths:

Don't be afraid to use everything against your enemies! Especially ziplines!

The hardest Riddler challenges are without a doubt the Campaign challenges. These are just three challenge maps in a row, usually alternating between Combat and Predator, but the catch is that you’ll have to do three perfect maps in a row with added qualifications, such as reduced health or the inability to perform Silent Takedowns.

There’s a trick to decide which modifiers to turn on for each map. You don’t need to use all of them in a single map; you just need them all used by the end of the three. My advice is to pick the biggest headaches first, such as the alternating invincible enemy modifier or a scrambled Detective Mode modifier. Get rid of them early and it makes things simpler from there on. Some, like the modifier that prevents Batman from using gadgets in combat, doesn’t affect me whatsoever due to the strategy I outlined earlier, meaning it’s a freebie in a map. I can easily save that for last along with the one positive modifier such as regenerating health or the ability to break through enemy defenses. Saving those positive perks until the end will just help with your overall morale.

A bit of pre-planning may also need to come into play here as well since there are times when a modifier will prevent you from getting a medal in the first place, like removing the ability to perform a Silent Takedown on a map where you have to do so under specific conditions. In these instances, or if you realize that you just won’t be able to complete the Combat rounds with enough points to get all three medals, go ahead and take a dive. Each of the three maps give you three retries, so the only punishment is time. It’s much better to have to restart the final combat map over to get three medals than to complete it with two and finish the campaign with eight total, meaning you’ll have to redo it again anyway.

Be The Batman:

He can smell fear, so keep it under control.

Arkham City is not the hardest game to master once you put some time into it. In all actuality, it can be one of the simplest games you play in the higher difficulty levels as long as you start to learn these basic strategies. You’ll get plenty of practice in the Story Mode of the game, so get out there and fight some crime.

And that’s my advice as a Grandmaster. Does anyone else have some tips? Or do you need help with a part you’re stuck with? Leave a comment and let me know. I can help you, for I am justice!

For reference, Batman is my excitement level, and the face being kicked is any face within flying kick radius.

I reviewed Arkham Asylum way back when it came out and loved everything about it, utterly devouring the game to the point that there isn’t a single thing left for me to do. However, I didn’t purchase the game. Rather, all of that love was feasible within a two-week period borrowing from my friend Other Chris. A whole new precedence has been set with Arkham City, causing a lot of firsts for me.

In the entire time I’ve owned an Xbox 360, I’ve never once purchased a game Day One. For that matter, I haven’t purchased an Xbox 360 game for full price and certainly haven’t pre-ordered any with the intent of snagging some pre-order bonuses. Arkham City made one heck of an exception as I not only pre-ordered the title (from Best Buy so that I could unlock Robin in the Challenge Maps), I went ahead and picked up my copy at a midnight release. For the past week I’ve been staying up at least two hours past when I should be asleep, all because I can’t get enough of it.

The plot is rather intriguing. Last time we saw Batman, he was on the receiving end of one of the Joker’s biggest schemes, resulting in an asylum-wide breakout that caused some pretty great twists. This time, Batman is thrown into another prison, the massive Arkham City, for reasons that aren’t entirely clear when you first start out. However, the most Batman-lore we really had the chance to experience from the previous game was through the Joker and Harley Quinn, Bane, Killer Croc, and The Scarecrow. The Riddler was there, somewhat, but other than that the most we got were little hints at the rest of the world.

For reference, Batman represents Batman here, and Catwoman represents my desire to let Batman have his way with me.

Things are vastly different this time as Catwoman appears right away, along with Two-Face. The Big Bad orchestrating the overarching plot is Hugo Strange, a rather fascinating choice since I know nothing about the character despite reading my fair share of Batman. The Joker and Harley return, but the revolving door of standout characters is just wonderful. Mr. Freeze, The Penguin, heck, even Calendar Man, all show up and blow me away with their voice acting and character depth.

Before going all crazy for the combat (which I’m about to gush over to the point of having a Batgasm), I need to stop and address the quality of voice acting. Kevin Conroy reprises his role as The Caped Crusader, reminding me why he’s my favorite Batman in any form. Grey DeLisle’s Catwoman has been one of the best parts of the game for me, as is Danny Jacobs’ chilling performance as Zsasz and Wally Wingert’s ever-present Riddler, but we all know the star of the show is Mark Hamill in his (supposedly) very last performance as The Joker. Half the time The Joker isn’t even interacting with Batman directly- you’ll just get voicemails from him as he talks about how Batman never picks up when he calls- but it’s so good that you may begin to fear that some other part of the game has to be lacking with voice acting that’s so Top Shelf.

For reference, The Joker here represents my crazy uncle and, um, I forget, but Mark Hamill wins Joker.

Thankfully, there isn’t a single area that’s feeling under appreciated. Rocksteady claims that the open area of Arkham City is 5 times larger than Arkham Asylum, and after Batmaning around for a while I can just about confirm this. It isn’t the largest overworld ever, but you’ll never feel claustrophobic and there are so many things to do in the space that you won’t have time to look around. Most of the time you’ll intend to quickly head from one side of the map to the other, only to get sidetracked a half-dozen times by Riddler Trophies, side missions, and the unquenchable urge to dive down in the middle of a crowd of thug and start brawling.

Batman returns with all his signature moves from Arkham Asylum’s combat system, probably my single favorite combat engine ever. When a fight starts, Batman transitions into freeflow combat with one button attacking and one button countering. Oh, and a jump button, a stun button, a Baterang button, a Bat Claw button, an electric shock button, an explosive gel button, a series of brutal takedown buttons, and I think a freeze grenade as well? I can’t remember; there’s just so much to keep track of.

The game seems to know you'll want to try out all your moves, so it throws exactly one Bat-ton of fist-fodder your way.

The only downside to the combat system’s kitchen sink approach is that you will forget how to do half of the things the game teaches you, or just won’t find any use once you find some simple habits that get you through all altercations. Still, I greatly prefer the option to have more rather than less, so much so that I’ve been spending more time playing the Challenge Maps than the game’s story mode, though I have to continually go back when I’ve completed all available maps and need to unlock more in the story. Part of it helps that I have both Catwoman and Robin downloaded for Challenge Maps, but your mileage on bonus characters may vary.

To address the choice of Catwoman being unlocked in the game only if you either purchase new or pay $10 online, I’m more than happy she’s included. If you have the option to get Arkham City new, or used from Game Stop since they’ve been putting her codes in anyway, absolutely do it. She plays slightly differently from Batman, and so far I’ve only had a chance to play through two or her four story missions, but I’ve also found that this is my favorite version of Catwoman now, partly due to the costume and partly due to just wanting to play as Catwoman in a legitimately good game.

That phrase “my favorite” may be cropping up a lot, but it’s the best way to describe things here. Even the points where I have to slow down and go into Predator mode to silently take out a room full of armed thugs don’t bother me much, mostly because the further you go through the game, the more options you unlock to take criminals out. Bored of Silent Takedowns? Try locking a guard’s gun from firing and causally walk up to him as he panics. There’s just so much variety that it’s hard to get bored.

For reference, GO BUY THIS GAME.

And that’s the overall theme of the game. There’s so much to do that it’s difficult to find a point where you’ll get cheated. Even if you don’t feel like advancing the game’s plot, there are Riddler Trophies, Joker Balloons, security cameras, interesting side quests, character bios, Challenge Maps, and a whole separate part of the game with Catwoman. Plus I hear that Nightwing is showing up on November 1st? I’m sold. Again.

I can’t say enough nice things about Arkham City. The game is as close to perfection as I feel it ever needs to strive for, proven by my giddy interest levels staying at their peak for over a week now even after playing every chance I get. There’s no need for a score here as the score is “Batman.” Go buy Arkham City- buy it new even- and you’ll thank me.

And oh snaps, I just got Dark Souls from Other Chris today! Looks like I’ve got a lot more torment in my future!

Beautiful cut scenes and great gameplay, Batman delivered.

Quick, to the Batcave!

New Nintendo games were a rare occurrence growing up. Fifty dollars was a lot for your average 10-year-old, so when it came to buying new release games, you had to try and choose wisely. I figured I couldn’t go wrong with Batman. I remember getting the game for Christmas at Toys R Us, back when you had to take the ticket up to the front of the store. I had never played Batman before but it looked great and hey, it was Batman!

Thankfully, Batman turned out to be a great game. It looked good, sounded great and played well. The soundtrack has to be one of the best from the NES era and is one I still listen to today. The game also had awesome looking cut scenes based on the Tim Burton movie, but otherwise shared little from the film. In the game, Batman came equipped with a trio of weapons and the ability to to do wall jumps; what more do you need?

Well, whether you wanted it or not, this game was a challenge. Despite there being only five levels, each one came with its own unique difficulties and bosses. Like many games of the time, Batman was a play-and-repeat platformer. You play, you die, you try again…and again. It was all about memorizing patterns and levels but even then it was a challenge. Your jumps had to be perfect and you had to do a decent amount of ammo management.

The Joker to my Batman, The Firebug.

Getting professional help

I had Batman for a couple years before I completed it, and even then I needed some help. There was no real internet to speak of at this point in 1992 and I didn’t even have a computer yet. This was still prime time for Nintendo Power magazine and if you wanted answers, you had to go direct to the source. Out of pure frustration, I fired up the old typewriter and asked The Big N for some tips. I managed to make it to the boss that was right before the Joker and just couldn’t figure it out. His pattern was simple enough but I kept getting stopped and wasting all my lives.

Nintendo’s reply was short and sweet and pretty much told me you had to have full ammo to beat the boss, The Firebug, to then move on to the Joker. However, just because I knew how to beat the boss doesn’t mean it was easy to accomplish. You still had to make it there and then hit the guy without missing. Eventually I got it and made it to the Joker, only to get wiped out pretty quick, but I had finally beaten the Firebug and the end of the game was in sight. After more numerous attempts I defeated the Joker and there was much rejoicing.

Holy cut scenes, Batman!

It’s funny how momentous finishing a game was on the NES. Especially in a game like Batman where there were cut scenes rather than just a “Congratulations” message. Once I beat the Joker I remember putting my controller on the ground so I wouldn’t accidentally hit a button and skip the ending. I knew I might never be able to accomplish this again so I wasn’t going to miss it for anything. I watched as another movie-inspired cut scene showed the Joker fall from Gotham Cathedral, followed by your standard issue staff credits, all to the awesome 8-bit soundtrack.

Even today, I’m not sure if I’ve ever completed Batman again. I’ve gone back to play it a few times since then and never even made it to the last level to take another shot at the Joker. I still have my Batman game cartridge and even though I can play the game on any number of emulators, nothing beats throwing it in my NES and giving the game another run…I just have to make sure I have my Nintendo Power letters handy.

Want more recommendations for Games You Should Have Played? Check these out:

-Games You Should Have Played: Golden Sun: The Lost Age

-Games You Should Have Played: Resident Evil 4

-Games You Should Have Played: Mega Man 2

Sure the Technodrome made you Commander Cool, but what other toys couldn't I have as a kid?

Remember a Christmas or birthday when you wanted that one special toy, but no one got it for you? Now you understand…it was ridiculously expensive, or impossible to locate. You were disappointed then, because there was no such thing as ebay or Amazon, and instead you got a sweater.

Well, now I’m going to take a long look back at the items that even made Santa say, “I…um…YOU WANT WHAT?!” Any kid with one of these babies was instantly cool in my eyes, no matter how much he smelled. I bet every one of them is easy to find nowadays, too.

Keep in mind, this is my personal list, in chronological order of their production. These were impossible to find, and expensive as heck for me and my parents.

10.) The U.S.S. Flagg playset (G.I. JOE)

This thing ate my Ghostbusters Firehouse for breakfast.

Okay, yes, this one was a few years before my time. It was released in 1985, and is to this day the biggest action figure playset known-to-geek. It was well over seven feet long, and could store GI Joe vehicles and figures. A friend of mine had one when I was very young, and let me tell you something: there is nothing quite so epic as an all-out, vehicle-on-vehicle battle between whole armies of figures on your own personal aircraft carrier. Unfortunately for me, my parents didn’t have $90-110 lying around, and they certainly didn’t have space for the Flagg to lie around. It was bigger than my bed, after all. If you had this as a kid…I kind of hate the kid version of you. The adult you is still okay, though.

9.) The Super Soaker 50

The latest in hydraulic shenanigans at the time.

This was the only toy that I wanted, my brother wanted, and my dad bought…for himself. Apparently, computer companies in the early 90’s employed some screwballs who enjoyed water-gun fights in the office. So, I didn’t get the original Super Soaker, first named the Power Drencher (good call on that change, eh?) that came out in 1990. Instead, I was given the consolation prize: the smaller, orange-colored version of the same gun, dubbed the Super Soaker 30. Water fights were all the rage back then, and they haven’t really come back since that golden age of pressurized warfare.

8.) The Talkboy (Home Alone 2: Lost in New York)

Looking back, this thing was so dopey. I feel embarrassed for my younger self.

The movie was a total rehash of the first, but as a kid I thought it was amazing cinema. Apparently, Macaulay Culkin’s crazy piece of technology that let him pose as an adult was never meant for mass-production. It was a non-working prop. But after many letters and phone calls, a working version was created by Tiger Electronics in 1993. Keep in mind that this “toy” was just a tape recorder, with a few dodgy features like an extendable microphone that extended about half an inch. This is why my dad put his foot down and said, “Kyle, if you want a tape recorder, you’ll get a tape recorder. If you want a toy, you’ll get a real toy.” Thank you dad, for being wiser than me at that age. Luckily, I did end up getting the weak little ballpoint pen version for a quarter of the price.

7.) Talking 12” Buzz Lightyear (Toy Story)

Available at all Al’s Toy Barn outlets in the Tri-County area.

Thanksgiving of 1995 meant the best toy shopping for Christmas. That was when I told my dear, unsuspecting parents that I wanted the most movie-faithful Buzz Lightyear that their money could buy. Predictably, we drove all over Oregon’s Willamete Valley looking for that goofy space ranger because retail stores didn’t order enough. Imagine sifting through fifty Woody dolls, and finding a Mr. Potato Head at the bottom of the bin, as a cruel joke. Pixar even took a shot at those retailers in the sequel when Tour Guide Barbie explained, “Back in 1995, short-sighted retailers did not order enough dolls to meet demand.” My demands were met, however, and I’m proud to say that I owned the first-run Talking Buzz, which in mint condition in the box can go for over $500 today. Something touching here: I recently donated my Buzz to a young child, who hopefully treats my rare little friend with care. *sniff*

6.) Batman Forever Triple Action Vehicle Set

I must not make jokes about Batman’s wonderful little toys. Every time I do, Joel Schumacher gets another movie deal.

This was a pretty cool one. Sure, Batman Forever was goofy, and a little heavy on the Jim Carrey (I didn’t even order that side of Tommy Lee Jones’s face), but the toys were pretty awesome. I distinctly remember my Bruce-to-Batman figure from the movie, and I wanted so badly to sit him in this beautiful vehicle. Batwing, Bat Boat, and Batmobile all in one, this was available around Christmas 1996 if I remember right. Again, too big and too expensive for my parents, but easy to find in any Target. I found one online for about $120 yesterday, and I still kind of want it. I mean, come on! It’s all three in one!

5.) Spider-Man Web Blaster

Silly String Plus: now with over-elaborate comic book tie-in.

Did anyone else write a three-page argument to their mother about the benefits of shooting Silly String from your wrist? No? You guys weren’t trying hard enough. No written diatribe could convince my parents to arm me with Peter Parker’s ingenious device. This was right around the time I got into comics, around 1996 or so, and I decided that this toy was the closest I would ever come to being Spidey. The great part is that they keep remaking this little gem. Eventually, Hasbro wisely toned down the messy, aerosol-based ammo and created suitable replacements for worried parents. These days, child Spider-men shoot water, rubber webs, and foam disks out of their wrists, just to name a few. None come close to the original, though.

4.) Dr. Judy Robinson (Cryo-Suit) Action Figure (Lost in Space)

Yeesh. I should blow this thing up on the 4th of July this year, while playing the Lenny Kravitz cover of “American Woman.”

Please don’t make fun of me, but I was a huge fan of this movie when it came out in 1998. It released two weeks before my birthday, and is the film credited with knocking Titanic out of the #1 slot. It was also a terrible film, and all involved wished it didn’t exist. In late 1997, the toy line came out and I devoured it, buying every bit I could. The Judy Robinson figure, modeled after Heather Graham, was the unicorn. I didn’t even want to play with it; I just wanted to find it. By the time my grandmother found it at a swap meet, it was a year later. I eventually had two of them, because I naïvely thought that one would be an expensive collector’s item in the box. I still have it, as a mark of my toy-collector’s shame. It can easily be found online for less than four dollars.

3.) “Power of the Force” Electronic AT-AT Vehicle (Star Wars)

That’s how Vader strikes back…with impractical, articulated legs on his tanks!

This behemoth turned mere battles into all-out wars. When Star Wars toys made a huge comeback in 1997, my parents warned me against putting gigantic hulks of plastic on my wish-lists (especially if they made loud, disturbing laser sounds). An interesting thing about this vehicle: it comes with two figures, that of the AT-AT driver and General Veers, the leader of Vader’s ground forces. Star Wars vehicles usually didn’t come with appropriate driver figures at the time, so I thought it was a nice touch. Find this giant robot camel online, and you’ll probably spend $80-$100 on it, mint in the box.

2.) The All-Powerful Nintendo 64

Goldeneye (Kyle), Banjo-Kazooie (Gus), Ocarina of Time (Chris), and everyone else’s favorite game of the late 1990’s was available for one machine.

Ah, yes. There are Youtube videos dedicated to the rapture of owning an N64. First available in 1996, the 64-bit video game shrine brought Nintendo back to the top, after the strange days of Sega Saturn failed to properly impress gamers in North America. This was the first major purchase for me that wasn’t entirely made of molded plastic. It was also the first that I was forced to pay for myself. I saved up for 18 months to buy my used 64, with one controller and one game (Goldeneye) in 1998. Many summer days blew by as my brother and I became pros at Super Smash Bros., and eventually I became the podracing champion of the galaxy in 2000 (I’ve since retired). Pick one of these up if you missed out on it back in the day, they are durable as heck and have more fantastic games than any other system out there, in my opinion.

1.) Lego Millennium Falcon

Someday, I’ll get it. My girlfriend says we can put it in our wedding registry! Um, would you all please excuse me? Gaaaawwww…

Okay, here’s the thing. They have been improving this set for years, and every time they came out with a new version, it was more expensive and more impressive. The latest version, the Ultimate Collector’s Millennium Falcon, became available back in 2007, and is currently waiting for me at the nearest Lego store for $500. For that, you get the 5,000 pieces to build the three-foot-long ship and populate it with five minifigures. Did I mention that this is the biggest (as well as the coolest) Lego set ever? It will be mine…after I pay back my student loans…

Looking for more Top Ten Lists? Check these out:

-Top 10 Best Zelda Items

-The 20 Greatest Mario Enemies Ever

-The 10 Most Ridiculous Ninja Turtle Action Figures

This right here is one of the most popular education-based toy around. And it's a video game system.

If I were pressed to defend the educational value of video games, I probably couldn’t do much other than say they can teach reading, math, problem solving, community interaction, cause and effect, and hand-eye coordination skills, so really I’d have an uphill battle talking about their benefits (wink). However, there are a handful of very popular toys being sold this very second to parents wishing to give their kids a little boost in the learning aspect of playing while still making sure the toy is fun (gotta love parents). But just what are some of the most popular educational and learning toys right now?

Yay! A noise-maker for kids!

Heard of LeapFrog? You probably have since they’re selling tons upon tons of electronic toys aimed at teaching kids. It just so happens one of their best-selling products is a video game system called the Leapster. It looks like a mutant Game Boy but plays like something with the explicit purpose of learning in the foreground. However, you can easily fool a kid into forgetting he’s learning something when the character in the game is Batman. LeapFrog also has a wide variety of other electronic-type toys with the Learn & Groove Musical Table for kids (a thing that makes noise), the Spin and Sing Alphabet Zoo (a thing that makes noise), or the Scribble and Write (I’m sure it makes some sort of noise, it is a child’s toy after all).

Responsibilities! Exciting!

If, perhaps, you’d rather not futz with noise or electronics in general, our good friends Melissa & Doug have more than enough toys made of wood and magnets. Sometimes simple can be best, and Melissa & Doug tends to make very high-quality toys that last and last. It’s hard to beat a magnetic alphabet set or a magnetic responsibility chart. Sure, kids hate responsibility, but disguise it with magnets and they’re sold.

Dang that kid looks happy. I want some of those blocks!

Fisher-Price is still around and doing just fine, by the way. Do you remember them from your childhood? I sure do. I had all sorts of plastic blocks and shapes and steering wheels and things of that nature from Fisher-Price, and I’m happy to say they still make all those things with their Brilliant Basics Baby’s First Blocks staying as a bestseller. Their Sesame Street Silly Sounds Remote may not really be in the same category though. It may say “Sesame Street: on it, but it also says “Silly Sounds” which is code for “Lots o’ Noise.” Just get the blocks.

Hooray for bugs! What, you don't like bugs? That's science!

It’s also cool to see that the Insect Lore Live Butterfly Garden is up near the top in sales. Why is that? Bugs, while super gross, are also super cool. Plus, it’s impossible for kids to find bugs in the house, so they have to go outside. If they can find tons of bugs inside, you’re teaching your kids something wrong. I was always happy as a kid with a bug net and a jar to keep my findings in. I assume kids haven’t changed too much since my childhood.

This is an incomplete list of the bestselling Education and Learning toys, but it’s a good start for sure. If all else fails, I can’t think of a single kid that’d say no to “Imagination Time” with their loving parents. In fact, I might just call my dad and see if he’s up for a game of it right now.

I wish I'd been the one to think up this image first, but I'm not.

Happy Saturday everyone! February is ending in the next day or so and that means the beginning of the newest feature here at Toy-TMA: The Too Much Awesome Podcast!

It had been my hope to someday start doing a podcast here. The plan was for last month to be the first episode, but issues with cars (my car specifically) delayed production for a week. After some technical difficulties with the mic, the podcast was recorded and uploaded without any futher troubles (save for a cat scratching in the background).

The link for the podcast can be found here. Once you click the link, you’ll be taken to Mega Upload, a site for files too large to post anywhere else. Type in the code shown to download the file and then wait for it to be cued up for download. Once it’s ready, download the file and listen when and where ever you’d like!

The goal is to have at least one new episode a month, usually falling on the last weekend of the month. It ended up being over 90 minutes, but we’ve got a lot to talk about, so it works. We’ll do our best to improve the sound quality as right now you have to turn the sound up fairly high to hear us clearly, but for now, please enjoy the premiere episode of the Too Much Awesome Podcast!

Are the new Dark Knight Toys too dark for kids? That’s the drama being kicked up in Australia, where a leading family advocacy group is shunning the Batman toys. Why? The toys are given away with a burger and fries at a popular fast food chain known as Hungry Jacks.

The Australian Family Association does have a point: the toys may be sending mixed messages to parents that the newest Batman movie is suitable for watching by children. I saw this movie last weekend, and it is admittedly not something I would take my nine year old to. Too scary!

But, then again, the Dark Knight Toys in themselves are pretty cool.

Any readers’ thoughts?

Some of the most popular toys are the Wayne Tech Mega Cape Accessory, a cape with a five foot wingspan that retracts into a back harness. The Shift Attack Sports Coupe comes with both Batman and Bruce Wayne figures, and the coupe turns into a missile-firing attack vehicle. And the Rapid Fire Utility Belt has a motorized blaster of foam missiles and also comes with a cape.

Collectors, however, are flocking to the Joker toys. Heath Leger’s renowned performance and untimely death have made the toys all the more appealing. The Japanese toy company Medicom has also released some hip designer vinyl toys.

The event, which promised to be a pop culture trend-setter for years to come, featured autograph signings, workshops with artists and designers, as well as showcases of the best new toys, comics and designs. But the highlight of the convention was the premier of a new Batman animated short, Batman: Gotham Knight. The short film was one of a series of six that takes place between Batman Begins and The Dark Knight.

For more information, check out the convention’s home page.