Tis the season

Ah, Christmas. Wait, what’s that? It’s only Thanksgiving? Well would someone please tell the stores so that they can stop playing that stupid Paul McCartney song?

Okay, so Thanksgiving. It might as well be Christmas because if your family was like mine growing up then you usually combined both holidays into one. My family was somewhat spread out so traveling two months in a row wasn’t the easiest thing to do, so every year we swapped between making Thanksgiving and Christmas the actual holiday. We’d all gather at the grandma and grandpa’s house and spend a day playing with toys, watching football, eating a lot of food and then playing games…and this was way before video games.

Actually, that’s a lie. I had my Nintendo and I usually took it with me to my grandparents because they lived out in the country and there wasn’t much else to do. But during the holidays the video games took a back seat because playing table top games with my cousins and family was far more enjoyable. It didn’t happen but once a year so you had to take advantage of having people around. Plus, with parents and even grandparents on hand it was the one time when we could all do something fun together. I’ll attribute these times as to why I love games so much…they really are the one thing everyone could enjoy, regardless what generation they were from.

But the real challenge every Thanksgiving evening was the debate over which game to play. Everybody had their favorite, I’m sure, and I did too but it really didn’t matter as long as we were all playing. Of course, then we had to all refresh ourselves on the rules, set up cards and boards, and just spend way too much time getting started. Some of the games were simple, others required a pencil a paper just to figure stuff out, but they were all fun and able to keep my family interested…which was somewhat of a chore in the first place.

So this holiday season, whether it be Thanksgiving, Christmas, or the popular Thankschristmas, don’t forget to turn off the television and put away the Wiimotes for some good old fashioned table top fun. Here are some games that are guaranteed to get your family laughing together.

Monopoly

The ultimate family game if for no other reason that up to eight people can play at the same time. We all know that Monopoly can last a long time, but when you’re playing with more than even four people the game speeds up quite a bit. Money is flying all over the place…houses are being placed and railroads are being bought up left and right. And if you played like my cousin, you bought everything you landed on and conned the rest of the family out of their money with fast-talking trades. One year we had to go dig through my LEGO bricks so he could build enough hotels and houses.

Just don't let grandma be the banker...she's shifty.

Rummy

Nothing beats a good card game. Board games are great but they often have a lot of parts and a lot of rules that just end up making things confusing. Card games like Rummy are hard to screw up but are just as fun. My grandparents taught me rummy and my grandmother would whoop up every year when we all played. You might be more into the euchre or hearts but the next time you have a few aunts and uncles hanging around, start up a quick game of rummy and you’ll probably learn something about them you didn’t know before.

Rummikub

So you think rummy as a card game is too easy? Try Rummikub and your mind will ache, partly just from reading the rules. At its core, Rummikub is the rummy card game just played with tiles instead. Each player tries to be the first to unload all their tiles by creating matching sequences and like-numbers. That might not sound like much but then throw in the part where you can rearrange the tiles on the table in any way you want and you’ll quickly find yourself spending way too long trying to get rid of more than just one tile. Rummikub is a spacial learner’s paradise with a healthy dose of number patterns. It might take a few rounds to get the hang of it but once you do you’ll want to play all night.

Rummikub. It will challenge your brain, your mind and your head.

Uno

A card game for the ages. And when I say Uno I mean straight up Uno. Not the fancy Attack Uno or Uno Dice or Uno Slam or any other of the bastard Uno games that have come out in past several years. Just tried and true Uno. All you need is a table with a person in every seat, no batteries required. Just like rummy, Uno is understood by everyone but I’ve found that Uno brings out the swearing a little more than rummy so beware.

Reverse!? And then a skip?! C'mon, man!

Pictionary

This was my personal favorite game to play during the holidays, but only because I loved to draw (and still do) so I thought I had a distinct advantage. However, I quickly realized that my skill at drawing Richard Nixon didn’t matter much when my teammates still couldn’t guess the answer, leaving it obvious for the opposing team. This is another game that will bring out the best vocabulary in people…and not just swearing but the things people would guess is hilarious. The laughs per minute when playing Pictionary is also off the charts, so make sure you have plenty of paper and pencils.

Cards and dice can save your holiday

In a time when everyone in your family has a smartphone and video games, it’s easy to forget how much fun “simple” games can be. I also know it’s tempting to just play the electronic versions of some of these games (even I can acknowledge the marvelousness that is Monopoly where you don’t have to make change) but playing these games at the table where they belong isn’t so much about the game itself but the people you’re playing with.

The time between Thanksgiving and Christmas is quite possibly the only time you’ll meet with extended family all year, so why not try to enjoy their company and have some fun? You don’t have to talk about your job, or school or your problems elsewhere in the world. You just need to have fun…and that’s easier than you might think, I don’t care how old you are.

Some assembly required.

When Star Wars could do no wrong

I was a Star Wars kid. Everything was either GI Joe or Star Wars, and I mean everything: movies, action figures, books, posters, toys and even games. Somewhere around first grade I got the Return of the Jedi Battle at Sarlacc’s Pit board game. It was awesome…in first grade. When you’re young anything with “Star Wars” tattooed on it is cool, but sometimes a bad game is just a bad game.

And when you knock Boba Fett in, it burps.

Better looking than a half-built Death Star

However, let’s first give credit where credit is due. This game looks cool. I mean, look at it! Jabba’s sail barge is sitting on top of the Sarlacc Pit. After you assemble the cardboard pieces you’ll find you have an actual pit that angles into the Sarlacc’s mouth, and it all looks awesome. Unfortunately, you can’t say the same thing about the game pieces. Sure, you have a fine selection of Han, Luke, Leia or Chewy (no Lando?) to take and beat up Jabba’s finest goons, but they all look horrible. The pieces are molded fairly well but it looks like they were painted by Nick Fury. I know the figures are small but come on, put some effort in to it, huh? I’ve painted mini-figures before and it’s not that hard…and this is Star Wars, show some respect. Yet even with these flaws, when the whole thing is put together it looks quite impressive sitting on your table. It just begs you to come play.

Wait, wasn't Leia wearing a slave girl outfit on Jabba's sail barge?

Less fun than a bacta tank

The game might get lots of style points but when it comes to game play, it fails worse than a ton-ton past the first marker. Playing the Sarlacc Pit game involves little more than moving your pieces next to each Gammorean guard and knocking them off the side into the pit. I know that sounds kind of cool, but there is absolutely no challenge or skill required to do so, and there’s barely any luck. You draw a card, move a few spaces and knock over the bad guy. There’s no way to really fail and that’s never a good thing. And before you start saying that I’m not analyzing this as a kid, think again, because I was a kid with this game and even back then it got boring because there was no challenge. You pretty much knew how the game was going to end before you even started. Even though the game manual makes the game sound quite complicated and interesting, it’s all just a Jedi mind trick.

The Sarlacc Pit game quickly became less of a board game and more of a Star Wars play set. Without any interesting rules, I would get out this game just to play with it like I would with any other toy. I would use my own action figures and vehicles, and it was a lot of fun. I don’t need rules or playing cards to have fun knocking Boba Fett, Nikto and Jabba into the Sarlacc Pit. Oh, and you might notice that Jabba is conspicuous by his absence in my photos. That’s because the Jabba game piece probably ended up being part of other action figure adventures, especially since I wasn’t lucky enough to have the actual Jabba play set.

Looks aren't everything, even a galaxy far, far away.

Yoda couldn’t even save this game

You wouldn’t think that playing on Jabba’s sail barge would ever be boring, but that’s what you get in the case of the Sarlacc Pit board game. This is just another example of something mediocre being disguised by the Star Wars name. The problem is, this game came out in 1983 along with the movie, well before Star Wars branched out into television, cartoons and home video games. I don’t think I’m alone when I say that I’m tired of all the Star Wars stuff out on the shelves right now, most of it just trying to cash in on the franchise, but this game proves this was always the case.

It’s easy to complain and talk about how good things were “back in the day” but not everything was better, even if it was something we loved like Star Wars. I wrote recently about some board games being nothing but a gimmick, all flash and no substance, and the Battle at Sarlacc’s Pit game is a perfect example, but even then it’s really cool to admire…and hey, it’s still Star Wars.

Check out more photos of this game and other toys on Flickr

The game of Life as I knew it...Art Linkletter approved.

The sweet Life

Like many of the games I had growing up, Life was another garage sale find my mother picked out, and surprisingly enough, the game was complete. I remember it being a huge box and when I got home discovered an equally massive game board…but this was no normal game board. Whereas Monopoly just had some simple, ordered squares on it, Life had mountains and buildings and a giant spinner! It was like the Wheel of Fortune was in my living room, only smaller. Better yet, every player drove a car, which means I wasn’t always arguing about being the car like I did when I played Monopoly. The board was a lot of fun, even though it looked like it was designed by Stevie Wonder, and the cars were cool, but better than all of that was the money.

The game of Life introduced me to denominations of cash I could never have imagined. I thought I was rolling big time with a $500 bill in Monopoly, but now I had $50,000 and $100,000 bills at my disposal, each with some old guys’ pictures on them. This was a step up from Uncle Pennybags…it felt more legit. Life felt like an adult game. It didn’t hurt that Life also had a few extras like promissory notes, fire insurance and life insurance, and you could even play the stock market. There was a lot going on and keeping track of everything was quite a chore for any child, but I liked that challenge. I liked that it demanded a little more responsibility…and I also learned what the heck a promissory note was.

Thankfully some things never change

Predicting the future

One thing I couldn’t have predicted was just how much the game of Life follows what the average person’s real life was really about. You start out pretty much poor and then go to college, then get married, then acquire some kids and then experience a bunch of random events that could pay off the first time and then bankrupt you the next time, eventually all leading you to a life of riches or (usually) a trip to the poor house with nothing more to show for it than a good story. Say what you want, but the game of Life lived up to its name. Life introduced me to the importance of insurance and showed me the stock market is always a gamble. It also showed me you never want to have more than two children and apparently you can buy yourself a nice yacht for a mere $36,000…not bad.

Of course, my whole experience with Life is based on the 1960s release of the game, which featured a whole-hearted endorsement by Art Linkletter on the box. To this day I couldn’t really tell you who Art Linkletter was or why his endorsement on Life made a difference, but every time I hear his name I just think of this game. Nonetheless, this version of the game felt and looked just like the time period. Even though I was playing the game in the 1980s, I knew it was older than that and that was part of the fun. I always liked learning about the history of the game and I loved thinking about my parents playing this same game when they were young. It felt special knowing we all have stories and memories about the same game.

I'm surprised they didn't increase the number of children you could have.

Life comes to an end

Unfortunately, like many of my toys and games, Life lost its attraction and became cannibalized for other purposes. In this case, that cause was Monopoly. I find it ironic that Life served as a replacement for Monopoly only to have Life be eaten alive by a Monopoly addiction later in life. My friends and I would play some hardcore Monopoly to the point where we needed more cash, houses and hotels. LEGObricks served as super hotels while the $20,000 and $50,000 bills from Life ultimately served as Monopoly money. You’ve never seen a free parking pot until you’ve seen a few $100,000 bills in it, each with Art Linkletter’s face on it. Thanks to Monopoly, my yard sale game of Life was slowly dismantled and eventually got so out of whack and missing parts that it was unplayable. I think my game of Life eventually ended up in the trash, although every now and then I find a random auto insurance policy in a box of old toys.

Life ain’t what it used to be

A few years ago while my wife and I were wandering the aisles of Target looking for something to do, we decided to buy the game of Life and relive a bit of our youth. Of course, what we found on the store shelf was not the big 1960s version I grew up with. No, this was an updated version with cartoon characters and smiling families all over the place. I was not amused and not impressed, but I was in for even more of a shock when we started to play with a few new rules and changes.

If only real pay days put 50s in my pocket.

It had been a while since I had played that original game of Life so my memory was a bit fuzzy, but as we played through the new version I started to notice quite a few differences that just kind of confused me. This modern game of Life introduced career cards and salary cards, as well as “Life” tokens that are redeemed at the end of the game for some extra money points. Apparently just meandering through the twists and turns of Life earning and spending money wasn’t enough. The career cards tie directly to the salary you command and help you quickly feel depressed about your luck before you even earn your first Pay Day. There’s nothing worse than seeing your friend get $80,000 being an athlete while you’re stuck with $30,000 as an artist. I feel like the original game of Life kept things a little more fair, at least to the point where your luck was limited to what square you landed on. However, the one way these new careers lend themselves to being a better game is that some “pay” squares on the board are tied directly to a career, so you’re not always paying the bank. If you land on a square that makes you buy a painting, your money goes to the player that is the artist rather than the bank. I admit that’s kind of fun, but only if you have more than two players, which in my case, isn’t that often.

Even though the new game of Life adds a few rules and concepts to the game, it’s entirely playable, but there’s one area where they just dropped the ball entirely – the design. Not unlike the card game Mille Bornes, the 1960s version of Life had a very simple and stylish design. It wasn’t adorned with a bunch of eye candy and it focused on what was important. The game board today is almost over done with cartoons and photos but even that I can forgive. What I can’t forgive is the complete un-design of the money. Life used to have some stylish bills that made you feel like you were playing with more than just fake money. The old Life money had very ornate designs with etched pictures of people and all the frills a real dollar bill has. This new game of Life dumped all that in favor of a more traditional Monopoly-like design that is little more than a color and a number and it no longer feels important. It doesn’t make you want to hold it and not let it go…it’s just, bad. On top of that, apparently they also felt things like fire insurance and promissory notes were too complicated. They dropped fire and life insurance entirely from the game and now we just have a basic “bank loan” rather than a beautiful, red IOU note. They even replaced the car tokens with an SUV. No longer can you take your family of six out on the town in your big, green Cadillac. Sorry, you’re stuck with the Durango.

Changes in car tokens, money designs and careers are one thing but when you change the end of the game you’re just asking for trouble. If you look hard enough at the game of Life you’ll notice that now you can’t really lose. Sure, one player will have more money than all the others but you can no longer end up in the “Poor Farm” as you could before. You’ll either go to the prominent “Millionaire Acres” or the less-classy “Countryside Acres,” which sounds more like assisted living. Either way, you never end up in a place that sounds too bad, which really isn’t how life always turns out is it?

Only one word can describe that money - boring.

A life to enjoy

Despite all this poo-pooing, the updated game of Life is still fun. It’s the same core game that I played when I was little, with just a few extras. However, it’s unfortunate that many of the additions don’t seem to add much to the game. Changes like these always make me wonder why Milton Bradley thought they were needed. I understand that Art Linkletter might not carry the same weight now that he did in 1962 but did the game really need a major overhaul? Lets just say that the modern version of the game of Life in my closet now doesn’t get played all that much, and I don’t think it’s just because I’m 20 years older. Although, I don’t care how old you are, throwing down a couple hundred grand on the board still feels good.

Now that's a board game cover to win over just about any child, am I right?

Flash back to my childhood years in the early 90’s for a moment, will you? I’m aware of the X-Men mostly through the Saturday morning cartoon featuring the X-Men costume designs made popular by Jim Lee, but other than that I’m nowhere near what you’d consider a master on the subject. I know the main X-Men and their powers, but that’s about it. Oh, and I know that the X-Men are stupidly awesome, but that’s a gimmie. Therefore, when I unwrapped a random box with the X-Men Under Siege game sitting in wait for me, I was elated. But that was before I actually tried playing the game.

I believe in the entire time I’ve had this game, somewhere in the ballpark of 15 years, I may have played a full game through once, possibly less. The largest reason behind this is the amount of dedication you have to have in order to understand even the slightest bit of the rules. The instruction manual for the game is 14 pages long. That’s 14, a double-digit number, for a board game aimed at kids. I reread it just before writing this article and I still don’t have a full grasp for how it’s played.

The gist is that while the X-Men are away from the mansion, a bunch of evil mutants infest it and force the X-Men to get a call that it is, as you may have assumed, under siege. Opening the box reveals one huge game board (more on that in a second), dozens of little pieces (more on those as well), and 18 X-Men figures.

Tranaslation: A whole lot of confusion.

Those figures were very obviously the highlight of the game for me as they didn’t require the game to be played to find enjoyment with them. Sure, they were just little gray chunks of plastic, none in any sort of dramatic pose, but they were still the X-Men and they were cool. Though, here’s an excerpt from the manual: “Each X-Men character has a superbly sculpted miniature figure…If you wish, you may paint your figure.”

First, I’m just astonished that the game had the gall to say the figures were “superbly sculpted.” Honestly, they were passable at best and lazy at worst. Secondly, don’t act like you’re allowing people to do what they wish with the contents of the game they just purchased and own. If I want to use the figures for Monopoly instead, then I’m totally allowed to do that, even if the game hasn’t specifically told me so.

Regardless of snootiness, the figures themselves were certainly more than you’d expect from a game like this, especially 18 of them. Normally, the best you could hope for were paper cutouts for each character, or at most maybe six individual figures, but 18 full pieces is at least something to be amazed by. Frequently, I’d pull the box out and just play with those, specifically Archangel as he had wings, and have my fun that way. But playing the game proper would be a whole new level of challenge, all because of the sheer amount of moving parts in play.

The game board was one reason for the complexity. For one, the game folded out the long way instead of just opening up into a square-shaped board. No, it opened up into a double-length board representing the X-Mansion and all the rooms. Each floor is stacked on top of the other, but I would have preferred some space to work with, specifically when talking about a table size. A smaller table works for the standard game board, but a double-length board requires a longer table and creates more of a headache that frankly isn’t needed.

No, the headache is plentifully supplied thanks to the illogical amount of game pieces littering the board and the play area. You’ll need damage counters for the X-Men themselves, damage counters for the evil mutants, room pieces for each room secured, blood tokens for specific damage done to enemies, cards used to move around the mansion and perform other actions, and even stat cards for the X-Men.

All of it just seems way more complicated than the typical kid will bother with.

Looking through the game and reading the instructions, what it seems like more than anything is that the game wanted to be a full-blown tabletop RPG but just wasn’t allowed to be. Every X-Man has a rating for combat (Wolverine is the highest with 7 by the way), plus a durability rating that says how many counters they can have, and an intelligence rating that says how many cards you can carry (Beast wins with 4). What draws the D & D connection is the X-tra Skill they all posses that lets them do something unique to them, like reroll a die if it lands wrong or heal quicker when not in battle.

Still, the choices of X-Men is somewhat strange. You’ve got Archangel, Banshee (who wasn’t that big at the time this game came out), Beast, Bishop, Cable, Cyclops, Gambit, Havok, Iceman, Jean Grey, Jubilee, Longshot (who I’ve never heard of, even after extensively reading Marvel comics), Maverick, Nightcrawler, Psylocke, Rogue, Storm, and Wolverine. In this lineup you have all the X-Men from the cartoon, plus the gang from the original lineup thanks to Archangel and Iceman. But where was Colossus? Where was Kitty Pryde? And if we’ve got these strange also-rans, why not replace Longshot with Forge or X-Man? Oh well, can’t win ‘em all.

Speaking of which, the conditions for winning were a little odd from my perspective as well. As you played through the game, you were supposed to check every room on a floor for evil mutants, then engage and capture them through battle. When enough rooms on a floor were secured, it was just assumed that the whole floor was secure as well. It’d be like beating Magneto and just assuming the attic was clear, even though Sabertooth was hiding behind some old mattresses, giggling and kicking his feet.

At least the game came with a survival guide to the mansion. That's cool, I guess.

Eventually, all the floors would be secured and the game would end, whereas each player would have to tally up his or her score. As you could guess, the player with the highest score would win. There were variations the game gave, such as just going until someone had a score of 30 or something, but that’s even worse. “Okay Professor, we got all the evil mutants.” “All of them?” “Yeah, we got a few. Looks like Longshot was the winner for some reason.” “Then why do I see the Brood making sandwiches in the kitchen?” “I dunno. Smell ya later.”

Despite the silliness, I still want to give the full game a playthrough with a group that knows what they’re doing. It looks like a heck of a lot of fun when done right. The trick is actually getting that magical group together. Did anyone out there ever receive this game as a kid? And even better, did anyone ever get through an entire game before just breaking down and assuming Cyclops blasted Beast through the attic? Leave a comment and let me know about your childhood memories. I mean, mine are Xtra Special, but I’d rather hear about yours now.

Want more obscure board games? Check these out:

-Forget-Me-Nots: The TMNT Pizza Power Board Game

-Video games as board games, the good and the bad

-Board Game Week: Spy Web Retrospective

One person’s trash…

My childhood was filled with board games, especially prior to fourth grade when I got my Nintendo. My mother was smart and bought most board games at garage sales, which meant our closet was full of all sorts of games, good and bad. However, without those yard sales, games like Pac-Man and Turbo wouldn’t have made it to our table.

Four Pac-Mans, two ghosts and a lot of marbles.

Woka, woka, woka, woka…

Pac-Man needs no introduction as a video game. The board game however might need a little more explanation. Like many children’s games, the Pac-Man board game made use of some moving parts so that there would be “something to do” while playing. Every one of the up to four players controls their own Pac-Man and moves around the board stomping on white marbles. The plastic Pacs actually pick up the marbles with each move; a neat mechanic that works pretty well. As a kid, I used the Pac-Mans to pick up other small things around the house, but it never quite worked.

Using the Pac-Man to eat marbles is most of the fun.

The goal of the Pac-Man board game is to eat the most marbles, but unlike the video game, eating ghosts doesn’t really serve much purpose. One interesting part of the game is that players get to move the ghosts in an effort to eat other Pac-Mans and block pathways. If you manage to eat a Pac-Man with a ghost, you not only send the player back to their starting position, but you also get two marbles from their stash. With more than two players I can see this gimmick working quite well, but with two players you end up just passing the same two marbles back and fourth. There are, of course, power pellets that give you the “Ghost Gobbler Privilege” and let you eat ghosts, but again, that doesn’t do much more for you but keep you out of trouble.

I remember loving to play Pac-Man when I was a kid. Moving the Pacs around and eating up marbles was a lot of fun. I’m not sure I ever played by the actual rules but it was fun all the same. However, even as a kid, I hated having to place all 72 marbles on the board just to take them off again. I’m not sure how else you would translate Pac-Man into a board game, but I think I’ll just wait until Pac-Man Battle Royale comes out and enjoy multiplayer Pac-Man where it is done best…on my TV screen.

It looks impressive, but looks can be deceiving.

Some video games should stay in the arcade

Pac-Man was a successful arcade game that probably deserved a board game. Turbo on the other hand, was not. Turbo was a Sega arcade game from 1981 that I only just played recently and I can tell you the video game is pretty bad. It has clunky controls, choppy graphics and just isn’t that much fun…and neither was the board game.

There are only a few redeeming values to Turbo the board game. One is the huge tri-fold board that unleashes a curving, four lane track. The game also uses spinners, which I thought were more fun than dice, and the game is about race cars, which I’ve always loved.

There’s not a lot of strategy or even thinking in Turbo. You just move your car around the track, hoping to be the first one across the finish line. Your success lies solely in the luck of the spinner. Even when I was a kid, Turbo wasn’t much fun. I used the board more as a race track for my Micro Machines than I did as a game. When my friends and I played Turbo, we just made up our own rules to make it…well, fun.

As you can clearly see, girls can enjoy turbo, too.

While the game itself stunk, the real value in Turbo is the game box. The box art on the front and on the board is great in that cheesy-awesome arcade kind of way, but what’s even better is the back of the box. As is common for board games, the back of the box shows children overly enjoying the game, and this box was no different. If only Turbo was a much fun as the fine feather-haired children made it look.

The curse of licensed games

Sometimes converting a video game to a board game can work, and other times it doesn’t. All licensed games like these rely on the player buying it because they know the source. That’s great when you start with a good source, like Pac-Man, but trying to turn a crappy video game into a good board game is probably not a good idea. As for an Angry Birds board game…if it involves me slingshotting birds across my living room, it can’t be that bad.

More photos of Pac-Man, Turbo and other toys

Want more articles on obscure board games? Check these out:

-Board Game Week: Spy Web Retrospective

-Because Sometimes Death Can Be Entertaining: A 13 Dead End Drive Retrospective

-Forget-Me-Nots: The TMNT Pizza Power Board Game

Anyway, let’s talk about Pictionary while we’re here. Sound good? Good.

Anyone feel like playing with me?

Pictionary’s history isn’t anything incredibly exciting. It was developed by Robert Angel and published by Seattle Games Inc in 1985. That’s pretty much the whole story there. But like so many other games, Pictionary doesn’t need an elaborate backstory or an origin story as convoluted as, oh, let’s say Tetris (another day). Pictionary is a simple concept and it comes from humble beginnings. So let’s get into the rules!

The rules are equally as simplistic as any other game you could play. Players break off into teams and go around the game board, landing on various squares color-coded to the categories of what they’ll be drawing: Yellow for Person/Place/Animal, Blue for Object, Orange for Action, Green for Difficult (difficult is a thing, apparently), and Red for All Play, an instance where, as you may have guessed, everyone plays. Some versions have a Purple square that lets you pick what you’d like to do, but I’m not talking about these fancy editions or anything; I just want to draw already!

Okay, so as you get your card, let’s say you landed on a Yellow space, you’ll have to attempt to draw the word in the yellow for your team. Let’s also just say that the word is “Crocodile.” You have approximately one minute to draw something that makes them guess the word is “crocodile” without using letters or numbers or speaking. So really, it’s like charades for artists. I seriously can’t make the game sound more elaborate than that. It’s just that simple.

So how to you plan strategies for such an event? Assuming your family loves you enough to actually play Pictionary with you, they’ll probably also know who among them can draw and who can’t. Stacking a team with only artists is a good way to win, but not a fun way to draw unless you add more rules like “No Drawing Faces” or “No Right-Angles.” Then we learn who the real artists in the family are!

Letting the DVD draw for you is cheating!

As I’d mentioned a while ago in How To Beat Your Friends In Board Games, a perfectly great strategy is to have a shorthand code for just about every instance. Let’s say you get the word “Dollhouse.” Perhaps you and your partner already know that if you draw just the roof part (^), it means “House,” and a simple stick figure with round hands means “Doll.” You can draw a dollhouse far faster and have your partner know exactly what you’re attempting to draw, pretty much every time. This way takes a lot of clever planning beforehand, plus it sort of breaks the fun of the game, but if you want to win every time, there’s your strategy.

And that’s essentially everything there is to say about Pictionary. You can find a version in just about every department store or online at all the usual places. Me, I’m still hoping to convince my family to play sometime. Maybe someday they’ll love me enough.

Want more on board games? Check these articles out:

-Think While you Have Fun!: Yahtzee

-Starving For Entertainment: Hungry Hungry Hippos

-Like Capture The Flag With Bombs: A Stratego Retrospective

Think Risk, except replace dice and chance with Tetris pieces and actual strategy.

Blokus falls in the ‘simple to learn yet challenging to master’ category of board games. You can easily figure out everything by watching one play through, but here’s the run down: Each player chooses a color and takes a set of 21 pieces made of all variations of 1-5 squares. Players take turns placing pieces on the 20×20 square grid, each starting from the corner of their color.

Each new piece you place must touch one of your other pieces, but only at the corners. Pieces of the same color cannot be in contact along the sides. However, there are no restrictions to how your pieces touch other colors.

Your goal is to cover as much of the board with your pieces as possible, while blocking your opponents from expanding their own territory. The game ends when all players are blocked from laying down any more of their pieces. The player with the most squares placed on the grid (or easier to tally, the player with the least number of squares left unplaced) wins.

These are all the shapes you have to work with. Rule of Thumb: Start with the 5-square pieces early.

The game plays with 2 to 4 players. With 2, both players take two colors each and alternate between them. Unfortunately games played one-on-one can very easily be turned into stalemates. With 3, each player takes one color and alternates every turn playing for the remaining color. This is sort of interesting, but, to be honest with ourselves, the only real way to play is when you have 4 solid players. Half the challenge and fun of this game is having to micromanage between offensive and defensive approaches to 3 opponents at the same time.

What’s also nice about Blokus is that no matter how good you may get at it, the game never seems unfair or crippling to newcomers. In fact, get too good and all three players will easily single you out as a threat and start gunning toward you first. While it is fun to make alliances and pick out threats, toward the end of the game, all deals will be off as everyone will be scrambling for whatever little space is left.

In college, the name of this game was eventually changed to “Blok-Gus.”

In my opinion, Blokus is the ideal party game, and I’m probably not alone in this, seeing the several awards it has won since it’s creation, including the National Competition Winner by Mensa, the High HQ Society. It is the perfect combination of being very easy to pick up and learn how to play, while also making the players think. It doesn’t suck time or become monotonous like Monopoly or Sorry, and has incredible replay value. It’s also the perfect gift for that special strategist in your life, or anyone for that matter. Find it at your local retail toy section, or check it out online at their official sight. www.blokus.com.

Want more good family games? Check these articles out for tips:

-“Ain’t” Is Not a Word: A Scrabble Guide For The Lazy

-Mario: A Retrospective Part 7 (On Mario Party)

-How To Beat Your Friends In Board Games

-I Am Scattegories And You Can Too: A Scattegories Retrospective

Remember this game? Well you should.

Spy Web is a game I’d best describe as Battleship meets Guess Who? in as much as you try to outsmart your opponent via clever placement of your pieces and determining through simple questions how they’ve placed their pieces. Confused yet? I’ll get into the details, just hold on.

Researching Spy Web was a bit of a tricky task since the first thing that pops up in Google for “Spy Web” is naturally anti-spyware software. Also, don’t do a Google image-search for Spy Web, unless you have your preferences set to filter inappropriate content, because you will get a few pages full of very, VERY adult images. Even Wikipedia, my go-to for research, doesn’t list Spy Web as a thing. Dang, is this game really that obscure?

So the premise of Spy Web pits two factions of spies against each other, one with names based off sea creatures such as “Beluga” and “Manta,” and the other with names based off birds such as “Buzzard” and “Osprey.” Each side has nine spies to place in a 3-by-3 board very similar to the way you place ships in Battleship, i.e. hidden from the other player. The first player to accurately determine the other player’s spy arrangement wins the round.

Also, I love the colors here. Doesn't it look spy-like?

The way this is determined is through asking three questions: “Who is [character name] pointing at/looking at/listening to?” You know this because every character tile is either pointing in some direction, looking in some direction, or listening in some direction, sometimes all three at once.

For example, you could ask “Who is Buzzard pointing at?” and you might get an answer like “Buzzard is pointing at Vulture.” You’d then have to use this knowledge to determine where to start placing your enemy’s character tiles. Oh, and in case you were curious, unlike real spy tactics, lying is totally uncalled for here, otherwise the game doesn’t work.

Snazzy characters. Why didn't Guess Who? have spy gadgets in it?

The concept is fairly simple, I admit, but something about it resonated with me as a kid. I became mildly obsessed with creating the perfect, “uncrackable” combination of spies by looking for formations that resulted in a spy not being looked at, pointed to, or listened to by any other characters, or better yet, making it so that no spies connected to any other spies on the board. It’s set up so you can’t really do this, but it ‘s fun to try.

Adding the spy theme to the game really sold me as a kid. It could easily be a sort of board game version of “telephone” whereas the nine characters are just kids set up on the grid, but that would have been sort of lame. Spies are cool, and unlike zombies, they haven’t overstayed their welcome. I highly recommend giving Spy Web a look, though good luck sifting through the other “Spy Webs” in Google. Don’t say I didn’t warn you. Apparently spies really don’t like to be found.

Want more about board games? Check these out:

-Apples to Apples, Dust to Dust: An Apples to Apples Retrospective

-Game Cards Do Not Actually Talk: A Guess Who? Retrospective

-Just Don’t Panic: A Retrospective on Catch Phrase

The box just makes it look so fun! Could that be a lie?

The year is 1993 (not really, but we’re on that memory-traveling trip here so pay attention), and Milton Bradley are doing what they always do, namely, producing board games. As a young and impressionable kid, easily swayed by commercials and the like, a TV ad for a new game called 13 Dead End Drive started playing, telling me that it was the end-all beat-all for board games and that I’d never be happy without it. Naturally, I ran right up to my mother and demanded it for Christmas.

Those unfamiliar with the game, I’d best describe it as Clue meets Mouse Trap. The premise is that a rich old woman named Aunt Agatha has died, leaving behind a massive fortune, and 12 other characters are potentially in line to inherit it all. The Mouse Trap aspect comes into play seeing as how there are moving parts to the game that are typically more fun than actually playing.

Since there are 12 characters vying for one ultimate prize, they each try to kill each other off using five different traps scattered throughout the board, shaped like a mansion more or less. Above the fireplace is a picture of Aunt Agatha, but 12 character portraits are shuffled and placed in the picture frame instead. Whichever character is displayed at any given time is the character favored to claim the money, meaning if they get out of the mansion alive, they win the game. All the while, a detective is walking up the front pathway during gameplay, and if he reaches the front door, whoever is displayed above the fireplace wins the game. The final way to win is to just kill everyone else.

Poor Aunt Agatha. If only she knew what her death has done to this group of people.

As a kid, the coolest parts of the game were springing the traps on people, of which there was one that tossed a character off some stairs, one that toppled them from a ladder, one that knocked a suit of armor on them, one that hurled them into the fireplace, and one that dropped a chandelier on their head. Setting everything up was a pain, but once the game was up and running, it was all about using the traps.

Players were randomly assigned anonymous character cards determining which characters they were hoping would win, but any player could move any character’s pawn around the board regardless of whether they owned the corresponding character card. This placed the key gameplay mechanic around the act of deception, though every game played by kids would devolve into placing pawns under the traps and killing them. I can’t remember a single time I actually saw the game end by traditional methods.

I’m a little surprised this game was around at all, especially by the mid 90’s. These days I feel parents would go nuts if they heard about a game coming out where the goal was to kill off other players to inherit a huge sum of money, but it could come down to the terminology the manual and commercials implemented to circumvent this stigma. Instead of saying that you “killed” the other players, it was referred to as “getting bumped off” by each other. This totally worked on my childhood mind because in pitching the sale to my mother I told her, “no, you don’t kill anyone, you just bump them off.” She told me that meant the same thing and my mind imploded because, duh, that was obvious to anyone but the brainwashed children watching the commercials.

Really, I just wanted to try dropping stuff on things. I hardly even knew their were rules until someone told me.

These days I don’t have the slightest inkling to break out 13 Dead End Drive, or even the spin-off 1313 Dead End Drive, for a game with my friends. We’ve got far better games to deal with that don’t involve killing off pretend pawns. Our games work far better when we kill each other off as we sit around the table playing Monopoly. At least, I assume they work better. I’ve never seen the end of a Monopoly game, either.

Want more articles about childhood memories? Check these out:

-Forget-Me-Nots: Halloween-Turned-Toys!

-Forget-Me-Nots: The TMNT Pizza Power Board Game

-Sweet Memories of Childhood Cars: A Matchbox Retrospective

You can trust me, I have an entourage. Do you have an entourage? I didn't think so.

The first step you must face when encountering a situation that looks like you could have lost regards assessing whether you have truly lost. Many times, your own sense of self-doubt will kick in and assume that you have failed. Do not be so quick to rush into defeat. Stop for a moment and look very closely in front of you. If you are playing Chess, is your King really in Checkmate? If you are playing poker, is your hand really a losing hand? If you are playing a video game, does your screen clearly show that you have been defeated? There is always time to stop and inspect when one is faced with the possibility of a loss. Remain calm and collected and never let your opponent suspect that they have won.

If your preliminary investigation reveals that, yes, you have lost, continue to remain calm. Has the other player come to the same conclusion? If not, don’t give him any ideas. Simply continue on as if you’ve only just begun to fight. If it dawns on your opposition later that they had already won, simply remark, “Ah, but you didn’t call me on it, so we may never know.” Unless they can rewind time, a feat that is highly unlikely, your loss will be entirely swept under the rug in favor of your assumed victory.

And swagger. Always swagger. Just like Ducreux here.

However, if your opponent is not a simpleton and they notice you have lost, once more, continue remaining calm. Question their judgment coyly yet firmly. “Oh, am I now? Are you sure about that? I don’t remember your pieces being able to move like THAT. Do you?” Allow doubt to seep into their head. “Are you REALLY sure the game ends when the other player is out of money? Oh ho, tut tut, is THAT how you’ve always played?” It’s important that you are using a high-class, sophisticated voice for this part. Imagine yourself with a monocle and a glass of brandy, swilling it to and fro as you eye your enemy. This step is very important, more so than some may think. While the goal is to allow doubt to overtake your foe in the immediate moment, planting the seed of discontent to be awakened later when they are alone is equally as satisfying, thinking of them tossing and turning as they sleep, forever wondering if they have been wrong this whole time and Knights can’t jump pieces. A loss now may mean a victory later. More on that in a bit.

We can safely assume that at this point you have indeed lost and your opponent has indeed come to the same rational conclusion. This is the difficult part, but it is vital that you don’t overplay your downfall. Congratulate your new “friend” with a hearty “Good show old bean.” Being gracious, if done properly, will throw them off guard and prepare you for your next move: Backhanded comments. “Good show old bean, we should play again when I care about winning.” Don’t be petty (“This game is stupid!”). Rather, remain suave in your actions. Thread all your backhanded compliments with silk. “That was a pretty good game. Not the BEST game I’ve ever played, but still not too bad I suppose…” Better yet, try saying, “Good game,” then look at your watch and say, “It’s for the best anyway, I’m late as it is.” This will imply that you’ve been rushed to play at less than your best, once more sowing the seeds of doubt in your opponents subconscious to make them think, “Did I REALLY beat him or did I just get lucky?”

Throw this out if you get the chance. Do it quick and often.

There are times when you may feel that this loss simply will not do, so you may forgo the attempts at getting away quickly. This can be risky, but if you choose to play again for honor’s sake, keep a few simple tactics in mind. The first is the rule of “Best of Three.” Everyone knows what Best of Three is, and no winner ever likes to hear it spoken. “Not bad, but shall we make it…BEST OF THREE?” This will throw them into a tailspin if they are weak spirited, especially when coupled with the psychological damage you should have inflicted previously. Be aware though that should you lose a Best of Three, you have failed forever. It is imperative that you beat them not just once, but twice in direct succession. Think carefully before making the attempt.

Yet, there is a way to eat your cake and have it as well. If you are playing a game that looks to be shifting in your opponent’s favor and you feel there is a good chance you are going to lose, throw the game. No not literally (although effective for situations most dire). Play the rest of the game sloppily. Make beginner errors. Ask for clarification of the rules. Do any and everything to make your opponent feel as if you are easy prey. Then, when you get the chance to spring a Best of Three on him, strike fast and strike hard. If performed properly, the other player will be stupefied as you demonstrate your abilities. They will surely feel as if you toyed with them during the last game, and with their confidence shot, dominating a Best of Three should be pie (wait, were we talking cake or pie?).

Sort of like this, except you want to be both the Alien and the Predator.

If nothing you do seems to work on your opponent, you must do what is most difficult: Realize that this person is better than you. They have beaten you and therefore deserve your respect. Not much, but just enough. Congratulate them and continue to talk about the game, specifically talking strategies. But wait! Don’t give your REAL strategies away. This is one more step toward winning next time. Listen carefully to strategies they use and really get inside their head so that you may better attack them when you play again. At the same time, feed them poor strategies in hopes that they will either use them in the future or attempt to defend against them, wasting pointless time. All battling for sport is 90% psychological and 10% actually playing. Would I lie about a statistic like that? Oh ho, tut-tut, don’t be silly.

Now you have the skills on hand to Lose With Dignity. On the other hand, if you are playing alone, act as childish and petty as you possibly can because, pff, who cares? Playing a video game on the hardest setting and die? Clearly the game was programmed poorly. Solitaire hit a stalemate? Meh, the probability breaks the fun of the game anyway. Can’t get the paddleball to work for you? “Eff this game.” Follow these simple steps and you too can learn how to win losing. It’s just that easy.

Want more articles like this? Check these out:

-How To Game Correctly

-Ten Ways The Real World Would Ruin Video Game Worlds

-Game Rentals: The Poor Man’s Guide

How can they still be so hungry? This is why America's kids are so obese.

Alright, we’re nearing the end of the week and I’ve talked about video games, Dragonball Z, and some random dude’s CD (albeit he is a talented dude). To round out the week, I should talk about board games, shouldn’t I? It’s all part of the new program my doctor placed me on in hopes that’d I’d enrich my diet. Hey, and how topical, because I figured I’d talk about Hungry, Hungry Hippos.

Our Childhood’s Eating Problem

So what kid hasn’t played Hungry Hungry Hippos at some point in their life? It was quite the publicized game on TV during cartoons and every kid had at least one friend or relative with the game, so it was easily accessible. Something about seeing those cartoon hippos dancing and singing just made the game look and sound amazing. Oh the shock we’d discover.

Hungry Hungry Hippos is one of those games with absolutely no strategy whatsoever. There is no way to outdo your friends short of luck and perseverance or just simply smacking them while playing. The entire game is played in the span of maybe a minute or two and consists of two to four players attempting to make their hippo characters gobble up more white pellets than the others. Whoever has the most pellets at the end of the game wins.

Hippos are fun, and eating is fun, so why is this game so boring?

Yeah, it was just that simple. You just slam on the back of the hippo as fast as your hands can muster without breaking the stupid plastic hippo and hope that you’re doing this motion faster than anyone else currently playing. Sure it’s possible to play by yourself, but you always win. I suppose you could place bets on which hand is going to win, but at that point you just need help. Or a friend. Maybe both.

Regardless, the game was and still is incredibly popular despite it’s simplicity and annoyance. You probably won’t find yourself hosting any Hungry Hungry Hippo tournaments any time soon, but I guarantee you’ll have to play it again when a younger relative, possibly your own child, decides they wish to play.

I myself didn’t have my own game. Rather, I got something similar but different one Christmas called Frog Soccer. It is exactly what it sounds like. Just instead of the game being hippos that eat pellets, you slam your dongle to make a frog smack a soccer ball into another frog’s goal. Whoever had the fewest balls in their goal would win, so pretty much it was the opposite of Hungry Hungry Hippos.

Did you know that the hippos actually have names? Lizzie, Henry, Homer, and Harry Hippo. Except every so often the names get changed. There are versions with Lizzie replaced with Happy Hippo and the newest version calls them Sweetie, Bottomless, Picky, and Veggie Potamus. Why the name changes? Well, you gotta do something with this product over the years to feel like you did something I guess. Lucky for you, the game doesn’t run you too much whenever your child decides it’s hippo time. You can find a version for under $20 on Amazon. As for me, I think I’m gonna go get a snack. I suddenly feel hungry for some reason.

In today's episode, we give you some of our personal tips about board games, as well as some handy suggestions for the toy industry.

After a slightly longer wait that we meant, we finally have the second episode of the Too Much Awesome Podcast starring Kyle Martinak and Chris Pranger. In this episode, we talk about video games a little more, toys once more, and make sure to go into greater detail about board games. Specifically, we gives some of our personal strategies to winning at board games, as well as some suggestions for Monopoly and the most effective way to play Clue.

The audio is a higher quality now that we made sure not to use Kyle’s laptop, and we were careful to keep the time only slightly over an hour. Let us know what you’d like to hear more about from the podcast and we’ll be sure to listen. We’re still finding the best mix here, so help us out with a comment.

To download Episode 2, click the link here.

So simple yet so wonderful. Perhaps the perfect kid's game.

When was the last time I covered a board game? Too long I’d bet. After much soul searching I decided it was time to talk about a game that was near and dear to my heart: Guess Who. Or rather, Guess Who?, as it was commonly spelled. I played this one quite frequently as a child, partly due to seeing the advertisements on TV. But I’ll get to that in due time. First, a light history lesson.

Your History Lesson for Today

The year is 1979 and the world is once more ready for a new board game to enter into circulation. At this time, Ora and Theo Coster decided it was their duty to invent something new yet incredibly simple. While they called themselves Theora Design, it was Milton Bradley that distributed their game in Great Britain as Guess Who?, a simple game of questions and answers. It wasn’t until 1982 that the US would get in on the action.

The Rules, I Guess

The standard version of Guess Who? consists of two tablets of character faces containing 24 faces each with single names under them. Players draw one card each from a pile containing the 24 faces and then take turns guessing which character the other player has. This is done by asking simple elimination questions like “Is your person a girl?” The original version had most characteristics breaking the 24 into groups of 5 and 19 such as 5 girls, 5 people with red hair, or 5 people wearing red shirts. There’s a whole mathematical equation to figure out your probability with each guess, but more recent editions make thing trickier by making the genders equal 12 to 12 or having the blue set all have blue shirts and the red set all have red shirts.

Also a good idea for hair designs in case you've been looking for something new. "Give me the Felix" you'd say to your barber. Happens all the time.

Most games of Guess Who? don’t last past seven questions or so. You can play ten rounds super fast, making this a good game to play with kids right before they have to go to bed. “Just one more game” isn’t too difficult a request to accept. Things can get very funny when playing against kids who don’t exactly understand the function of logic. This example involves my 8-year-old cousin Alex, last seen being tricked into giving me his copy of Pokemon Sapphire. I’d always win by one question because he’d ask, “Is your person a boy?” to which I’d say, “No.” He’d flick down all the boys and then ask, “Is your person a girl?” I’d say, “Yes” and he’d stop, look at his tiles, and say, “Okay, good.” He’s older now, so I doubt I could pull the same simple tricks, but it may be worth a try.

Apparently there are variations of the standard rules that allow you to guess assumptions based on personalities, such as, “Is your person a bad driver?” or “Is your person divorced?” While this way of playing is frowned upon for being offensive, it sounds like a whole lot of fun and a great way to change the game from being a kid’s game to an adult party game. Personally, I can’t wait to try that out for myself with Kyle.

When I was a kid I’d see the advertisements for Guess Who? on TV all the time where the cards talked to one another. I didn’t own the game yet, so when I went to my cousins’ house to play with them, I kept asking, “How do you make them talk?” They insisted that the cards don’t talk and I just assumed they were either lying to me or didn’t have a very good version of the game. That’d be why Milton Bradley had to start printing the disclaimer “Game cards do not actually talk.” Seems I wasn’t much better at age 8.

So how are you going to play from now on? Are you going to just play with your kids or younger relatives? Or are you going to try out the more adult version with the offensive rules? Either way, it’s not like the game costs too much. In fact, here’s the Amazon link where you can find a copy for under $20. Who could have guessed?

You want to be as relaxed and successful as Rich Uncle Pennybags here? Follow my advice and you'll be closer than you think.

Okay, so you’ve been reading my articles about board games. You spend meticulous time reading and rereading any little bit you can about these games, only to then discover that when it comes ‘round to game time, you’re the one guy at odds with everyone else and treated as the whipping boy. Sounds to me like you could use some strategies to increase your skills. The good news is that I’m here to deliver just that. Pull out a pen and take notes here, ‘cause I’m gonna give you the rundown on how to beat your friends in board games.

There are really three sorts of board games here: strategy based games (Monopoly, Chess, Risk), creative based games (Scattegories, Cranium), and trivia based games (Scene-It, Trivial Pursuit). I can’t do much to give advice on games of chance such as Candy Land since it all depends on the luck of the draw, but I can tell you to always hang in there and never give up, because you never know what’ll be drawn next (though mathematically if you’re down going into the second half of the game, you aren’t winning that game). So let’s get started, eh?

Use Your Friends

First things first when it comes to games where there are multiple players in a free-for-all, such as Risk: Make allegiances. Risk is vital for this play strategy. You’ll never be able to hold onto the larger continents if you try to do it all alone. You need people to back you up. You need that extra rule that plays in your favor that the rulebook doesn’t mention. You need to coast on your friends’ good fortune and backstab like no tomorrow when the time presents itself. Take Risk, as I said. Find someone with some decent weight in the game and do something nice for them, such as attacking an army that’s putting pressure on them or purposefully leaving a territory with one army on it so that they can take it the next turn, pointing out it is a gift to them. Storm the world with your chum, then strike when you find the right chance.

Also, pick the black pieces. They look tougher than the rest.

Monopoly works well for alliances also as you can donate money to players, trade properties, and allow them to stay in certain hotels for free. Get them to trust you so you can eliminate other players, then suddenly stop giving your friends a break when it looks like it’ll soon be you and them left to battle it out. Just be careful that they don’t get you first.

Outsmart Your Friends

When it comes to creative games, you need to know your friends. If you’re playing a round of Scattegories and the letter is P for a City name, you should have a good idea whether you have any friends that are about to answer “Pittsburgh” instead of something more original. It can be possible to out-think your friends to the point that you’re confident none of them would try an answer so basic, so you are then able to get by with simple answers. Also, make alliances in Scattegories, too. They will come in so handy when those inevitable challenges come your way, so give points to other players even if you could out-argue them, because there’s a chance they’ll have to vote for or against you for one of your double and triple-word bonuses and you want to be on their good side when they do.

You'd better be in sync with your teammates, otherwise things will get real rough real fast.

Knowing your friends, as I said, is vital in these creative games. My review of The Game of Things was practically all about the difficulty of standing out too much, so put that into practice here as well. You need to know the people you’re playing against to hope to outsmart them, such as in Scattegories when you could put “Salisbury Steak” as either a “lunchroom food” or a “thing you’d find in a catalog.” You’ve got a double-word score on the line, so know which other friend would think of that and then where they’d think to place it. Plan accordingly.

Having certain words, phrases, or actions already in place before a game like Cranium or Pictionary start is borderline cheating but you’ll thank me later. Having inside jokes with friends makes things simpler to work with, creating a nice shorthand to work with. Did you draw Jim Carrey as an actor you have to silently impersonate in Cranium? You better know which reference is the best to get your friends to know instantly who you’re supposed to be, because if they haven’t seen The Grinch, there’s no way they’ll know you’re supposed to be Slunking to the icebox. Playing Taboo or Catchphrase and have a word that you need to describe? “Kyle’s favorite movie,” or “I ate twelve of these at 7-11” make for really quick references, plus the better mood you have your team in, the higher morale is and the quicker they’ll be able to think. Keep your team of friends limber and calm.

Fake Failure

Possibly the most important strategy that you can use is your friends’ inability to know when you’re a threat or not. This works even better with people you’ve never played with, but it’s vital to use to your advantage. Never let your opponents know just how smart you really are. You must lull them into a false sense of security by causing them to believe that you’re an idiot. I’ve become very good at it over the years.

Who would suspect this foolish creature could be so powerful in a board game setting?

Take Chess, for example. There is a four-move Checkmate that only the rookiest of players fall victim to. Always attempt this when you begin a Chess match, even if your opponent is extremely good. I beat the best kid in school in four moves because he thought I sucked and didn’t expect me to know what I was doing. Four moves. Checkmate. And it was for a qualifying match in a tournament. He beat me for sport in the very next round, but it didn’t count towards the tournament. The deed was done. What’s done could not be undone.

Here’s a perfect example of playing dumb: Ever play the game BS? Well, I’m not going to tell you what BS stands for since if you’ve played it in school, you already know. The point of the game is to place cards from your hand into the middle pile in sequence, hoping to be the first to empty your hand. If you see an eight, you can place down either a seven or a nine. If you have neither a seven nor a nine in your hand, you must lie and say you’re placing down a seven or a nine. If no one believes you, they say “BS!” and you get all the cards in the pile. I’ve found it works every time to trick them by saying you’ve never played the game before, forcing them to explain the rules. Stay inconspicuous about your lying for a while until the pile builds up to a ridiculous number, then ask in your most dumbfounded way, “Uh, what do I do if I don’t have a card I can put down?” This only works if you DO have a card though, otherwise you deserve any ridicule about to come your way. The other players will kindly explain that you’re supposed to lie, so when you place down a seven and say in your best false voice, “Seven,” everyone will be in a hurry to yell “BS!” When you flip the card over and they discover you’ve duped them, you instantly because the king of the game for all time.

When it comes to trivia, obviously playing dumb isn’t going to help you. You need to know what you’re talking about, otherwise you simply can’t win. If you’re playing Scene-It? and the version is one you’re unfamiliar with, always select the most diehard fan in the room to be on your team. You will now win. If you happen to be that diehard fan, you better know your stuff or else no one will want to be on your team ever again. If you’re caught in Trivial Pursuit without a real answer (which will happen frequently), fake it to the best of your knowledge. Heck, you might even get away with convincing your friends that the card was a misprint (“No I’m sorry, it was the ‘Moops.”’). You’ve just got to know your friends well enough to know if they’ll fall for it or not. Most won’t, but you need to know if they will.

Don't lose your nerve when it coms to that final push, either. Only rookies choke in the last leg.

If you haven’t figured out enough by now, my main piece of advice isn’t to play the game; it’s to play your friends. In Risk, make a big show about invading Asia, a generally foolish thing to do, while all the while building up an unstoppable force in Australia for a legendary blitzkrieg of the world (“You cheated!” “Nah, that’s fair dinkum mate”). Purposefully build hotels on the purple spaces in Monopoly to make your friends think you’re daft, but save some cash to royally ruin them when you’ve bought the blue spaces from under their noses. And then of course there’s the dropping of the die on the floor so that only you can see it, only to grab it and raise it up saying, “Oh hey look at that, double sixes!” Build the trust and then ruin it in epic fashion, such as trading false information for something of value in Clue or purposefully throwing people off in Stratego by pretending your Marshall is scared of an inferior piece.

Have you got some winning strategies I didn’t mention here? I want to know some of your secrets (it’s only fair since you just learned all of mine). Post a comment and let me know how sneaky and diabolical you can be when it comes to board games. I really want to know, fair dinkum.

A deceptively conservative box. What could the contents include?

I’ll be downright honest here and let you in on a little secret: Before I got The Game Of Things for Christmas I had never heard of it before. Does that make me a bad person? Probably not. What it did manage to do is make me feel kind of stupid since there’s a pretty decent game here for parties with the right group of people. Let’s get into this review then.

Playing With Things

So how do you play this game? It’s actually rather simple. You’ll need at least four players (though I can see it working with a few as three, but honestly you want half a dozen or more, preferably). Everyone gets a slip of paper and someone reads a card that contains a thing, such as “Things you wouldn’t want to do in a cemetery” or “Things that annoy you.”

The players then scribble their response and pass them to the reader who in turn waits for all the slips to come in before reading them aloud, saying that the responses for “Things not to do in a hospital” are “Smoke,” “Hold up,” “Have an operation,” or “Look for dates.” It doesn’t matter the answer or how true it is because the next part is where the actual game comes into play.

The person to the left of the reader is the first to guess. They may say that “Chris said ‘Look for dates’ in a hospital,” and the reader would either confirm or deny this. If the person was right, they get a point and get to go again. However, Chris (that’d be me for this example) is out for the rest of that turn since he made it too simple for people to guess his answer. Play continues until all the slips are guessed, though you aren’t allowed to guess the reader’s answer since they don’t get a chance to get points in that round anyway. And basically that’s the game. Copy/paste, lather-rinse-repeat.

It’s a Party Game for a Reason

This is where I’m saying that more people are better. If you have a group of four playing, one person is automatically excluded from getting points that round since they are the reader. The person to their left has all the advantages in the world as long as they know the rest of the players really well. But even if they do, they can only get a total of two points that round since they can’t guess the reader’s response and it’d be counter-productive to guess their own. I played with a group of five people and the final score after ten rounds was ten to nine to eight to six to one. I…I had the one point for the following reason: I played the game like Scattergories and that’s a mistake.

This is all you need to get a night of deception going.

See, you don’t want to play this one like you would a lot of creative games where the most creative answers are the best. That actually works against you since you’ll give yourself away every time as it becomes pretty obvious who among your group is most likely to think of hilarious responses and who is most likely to be your father and trick everyone into believing down and out lies. Yeah, he won the game, but only because he cheated like every game he ever plays (except TrueQuest, because you can’t lie about history).

What you want to do is play things very conservatively, assuming you’re the only usual goofball in your group. If you have a whole band of off-the-wallers then you’re fine to make up the most random responses you can think of, but otherwise you’ll have to hold yourself back to vanilla answers to questions like “Things not to do while driving,” a question that could be something so awesome as “Juggle penguins” but should probably be “Put on make-up.” See? Boring. But that’s the trade-off you make when you want to win.

Overall The Game of Things is a good game. You’ll find a lot of fun in this wooden box, but to play it right you either have to have a whole group of rowdy creative types or a group of people that don’t exactly think outside the box.

I’m not saying that’s a bad thing having a non-out-of-the-boxers group, I’m just saying it’s required to play The Game of Things and not instantly lose because you’re the one person throwing waterfowl into every response you can.

The Ultimate Simpsons Trivia game?

I had a pretty darn good Christmas (and thank you for asking). I came out of it like a bandit, partly because my family listened to my list and got me a lot of what I had written down, such as No More Heroes for the Wii, Legend of Zelda: Spirit Tracks for the DS, and The Simpsons Scene-It? Deluxe Edition. I discussed  Scene-It? last fall but I didn’t cover a specific edition of the game in great detail. I’ll be darned if I do the Twilight edition (because I didn’t get it of course!), but now that I’ve played the Simpsons version a few times I can tell you what works well and what doesn’t.

So Hard To Please

To make one thing very clear right away: Scene-It? is extremely tough to find a group that matches perfectly for the game to be really fun. I’m assuming it’s much easier if you have a whole party devoted to the loving of the subject of the game, such as Harry Potter or Twilight, but otherwise you’ll always have the two extremely well versed players competing against each other while everyone else watches and interjects every so often with shaky answers. This is unavoidable, even if you’re a diehard fan of the series.

Also, I'm kind of disappointed the pieces aren't actual Simpsons characters.

The Simpsons version of Scene-It? is naturally for fans of the show. I happen to be one of those. I recently spent the past half a year showing my wife the first 12 seasons currently on DVD. I had seen them many times before but this was her first go-through. We played The Simpsons Scene-It? and found that she could answer roughly a third of the questions, but only because they weren’t noggin-scratchers. I, however, was getting bored with extremely simple questions on the one side and questions that no one in their right mind would ever know on the other. This can make the game very uneven and at times downright dull.

Like Watching a Really Good Clipshow

The highlight of the game comes down to the My Play and All Play challenges that appear on the DVD. The My Play challenges are great because they show clips from the show, so everyone gets a funny clip to see before either answering the question that comes afterward or providing the line that comes next. But there’s a problem here as well. They’ll pick extremely well-known scenes from the show for the “Know Your Lines” questions, so much so that I’m able to correctly identify the next line before they even ask it (“The answer will be ‘I’m not gay, but I’ll learn.’ Yeah, I know this, I’ve seen this episode a dozen times.”).

Also, for the scenes where they ask a question “regarding the scene,” most of the time the answers are pitifully simple (“What was the first word Bart said in this scene?”), to questions that had nothing to do with the scene at all (“What’s Reverend Lovejoy’s first name? No, we didn’t mention it in the scene, but he was in the scene, so what’s his first name?”). It kind of just makes me want to see a compilation of the best scenes from the show instead of struggling through the questions.

Yeah, I guessed that after the first hint.

The All Plays can be really hit-or-miss as well. Instead of a scene to watch, you’ll have a variety of games such as a guess-the-pixilated-character game or a crossword puzzle to solve. There are probably close to a dozen different types of games, but they don’t offer much of a challenge to any fan of the show as audio clips become apparent instantly, quick bios are obvious, and fill-in-the-quote sections still fall into the “Yeah, I’ve seen the episode multiple times so this is simple.”

Then come the cards. If you haven’t seen all 20 seasons of the show thus far, good luck. I kept pretty faithful up until around season 17 or 18, but there are questions thrown at me from episodes I’ve never even heard of, so my only response can be, “No, I have no clue what that episode is a spoof of.” The questions also fall into two categories between “Any fan would know this” to “You could only know this if you worked on the show.” I love the show, but how am I expected to know the writing teams? Yeah, I respect good writing, but I don’t typically get a chance to sit down and admire all the names in the credits.

The Simpsons Scene-It? is not a bad game by any means. I highly recommend getting it just for the Party Play feature that allows you to just sit back and play all the My Play and All Play questions you feel like without having to worry about the actual game. Then maybe sprinkle in some trivia card questions and call it a night.

No need to play by the rules, just have fun flexing your Simpsons trivia muscle.

Delightful fun for the English major in all of us.

Few games take advantage of an overactive vocabulary the way Scrabble does. In fact, Scrabble is all about knowing difficult words in the hopes of showing up your family with a massive triple word score for something with a Z in it. Apparently, Scrabble is also the proud owner of a sordid past, but let’s not get too hasty! Okay, we can get hasty. Let’s learn about Scrabble!

The History of The Scrabble

Scrabble was created all the way back in 1938 by an architect named Alfred Mosher Butts. Mr. Butts (yes it’s funny), had previously come up with a game called Lexiko that basically followed the same principle, but he decided to try something different by adding the 15-by-15 tile board and the crossword-style gameplay. And while we can’t think of the world without Scrabble, at the time, Butts had no luck whatsoever getting the game made.

In 1948 another man with an only slightly less-humorous name came along. This was James Brunot. He had bought a copy of Butts’ game, then called “Criss-Crosswords,” and made a deal wherein he would give royalties to Butts in return for the rights to do whatever with the game. The first thing Brunot did was change the name to “Scrabble,” a word meaning “to scratch frantically.” Then he switched some bonus tile locations around and started making some sets with his family to distribute that year. Somehow he lost money on this venture, but then the tale goes that Jack Strauss, the president of Macy’s, played the game and decided this needed to be a hit. Eventually the game would become a household sensation and by the 1950′s Scrabble was here to stay. I’m leaving some stuff out, but really it’s only legal issues that aren’t all too interesting.

On With The Rules

Look familiar? I mean, I'm used to smaller words, but still familiar.

So how’s this game played? You get together some friends or family and each pull seven tiles out from the bag o’ tiles. Each tile has one letter on it that you place on your tile rack. Naturally, don’t show anyone else what letters you have-it’s supposed to be secret. Then someone decides on a word to form out of some of their tiles. A word must consist of at least two letters and go either horizontally or vertically (none of this diagonal nonsense), plus the first word must always go over the center tile, which just so happens to be a double-word scoring tile. It pays to be first, doesn’t it?

As the game goes, players can either pass for the turn, scrap all their tiles for seven new tiles, or play on the current words on the board. If someone sees the word “Biggest” horizontal on the board, they can play the word “Stilts” vertically off the ‘s’ or “Imp” off the ‘i’ or any number of things they can think of and create with the letters they have. And if the new word passes over a bonus square, then naturally they get more points.

How to Cheat at Scrabble without Really Cheating

The trick to the game is to constantly steal the hard work of other players. If someone has a long word going like “payment,” just add an ‘s’ and make it “payments.” You get all the points for the word other than the double- or triple-point scores (those only count once). This is cheap, but it gets results. And if you can somehow manage to use all your letters you get a great 50-point bonus for being awesome. This is where inventing words comes heavily into play.

Some people take Scrabble too seriously.

You can get away with anything as long as you’re convincing enough. Make the other players feel stupid, because no one wants to sound stupid. “What do you mean you’ve never heard of the word ‘bigrymp’? I hear it all the time in daily conversation!” “Oh, is that so…? Well then, sure, it MUST be a word! I was just kidding…” If someone decides to challenge you after all, the good old Dictionary of Truth is busted out and if your word doesn’t appear, well then you’re out of luck and you lose a turn, plus your bogus word is removed. Nice try there, Bucky.

The game is over when all the tiles are gone or people get bored of spelling for an hour. Points are added up and whoever has the highest score is the victor, as you may expect by now. The sad thing about Scrabble is that since the game is only about making words, there’s no room for any real different editions. You just have words, words, and more words. I suppose you could make any game of Scrabble any edition you’d like. I want to see some of you playing Lord of the Rings Scrabble and Nintendo Scrabble, using only words associated with the various franchises you select. But no Twilight Scrabble, please. Scrabble is dry enough as it is.

Oh come on, you've played this game already, right?

Sitting down with people is difficult to do. Who likes to talk anymore? Too hard. In today’s world people need something to ease the awkwardness of social interaction, and while there are many options both legal and otherwise, I’d say the smartest comes down to a party game. You may have read my previous review of Scattergories, but there is another game that gets the job done just as well: Cranium.

Cranium is the answer to the unanswerable question of “Hey, what game do we play?” where everyone has a different answer. Cranium is what happens when Hasbro sneezes and all sorts of games come out in a spray of randomness. You have some Pictionary, some Charades, some Trivial Pursuit, and some word puzzles to appeal to just about any and all skill groups.

I Know This Game, Right?

The basis of Cranium revolves around teams of players taking turns rolling the die, moving around the board, and completing challenges based on four different categories which are: Creative Cat (drawing or sculpting), Data Head (trivia and fact-based questions), Word Worm (word puzzles), and Star Performer (performance-based). A good team obviously needs to have people adept in at least one of the four categories, if not more.

That looks like oodles of fun. Yes, I said "oodles."

Richard Tait created the game in 1992 (oh by the way, history time), when he played some games with another family and decided there needed to be a game that appealed to multiple player-types. He pulled in Whit Alexander, a friend of his, to join in on creating what we now know as Cranium. A few deals with Hasbro later and you can pick up Cranium for $24.99 wherever board games are sold.

Basically what you have here is a way to please everyone at a social gathering. While some people would be embarrassed to pantomime a famous actor, others would be more than willing. The same goes for individuals better with word puzzles. Everyone is able to get something out of the game.

There are multiple versions to choose from, though nothing like Monopoly’s edition-fest (when will we see the Monopoly Edition of Monopoly?), but mostly what you’ll see are spin-offs from the main game. There are editions geared towards kids, computer game versions, and of course refill packs when you’ve played so much that you’re out of cards to choose from.

Which version is right for you? That’s something I can’t answer, though I’d recommend the standard edition to get you going. If you haven’t played, it’s time to start.   If you’ve already played, then you know all too well what I’m talking about.

This equals a party right here.

Please tell me that all of you have played Scattergories at some point in your life. If you have not, I will find myself extremely saddened and may not be able to be your friend anymore. Still, there is some hope, because then I will get a chance to tell you about my favorite party game. But first, as always, some history.

Scattergories is still relatively new compared to other classics like Monopoly but when played correctly can provide much more entertainment value. Milton Bradley first produced the game in 1988 through Hasbro and since then there haven’t been a whole lot of developments in the Scattergories front.

You won’t find an edition for everything and everyone. The most creative example I’ve found is a Bible-themed version of the game, though once I explain the rules, you shouldn’t find it difficult to create a version to suit anyone.

These Are The Rules As You Know Them

The game goes as follows: 2 to 6 players (or more if you’re hardcore/love parties), each take a Scattergories folder containing paper, pencil, and the categories for the round. There are 3 rounds and multiple lists of categories to pick from. Once a list has been selected someone rolls the 20-sided die and a letter is selected. The 6 letters excluded are Q, U, V, X, Y, and Z. If you want a challenge, take your best shot with those letters instead.

The Bible Edition, not the Green Edition.

Once a letter is rolled, such as S, the timer is started and players must fill out the list with only things starting with the letter that’s been rolled. Each list has categories such as “A Boy’s Name,” or “Type of Sandwich” and players must write in something that fits the category. Things get tricky when you get abstract, such as a State Capital for the letter S could just be the letter “S.” Double points would go to someone that uses multiple words, like if the category was “Child’s Toy” you could put “Space Ship” and get two points.

Players take turns reading their lists at the end of each round. Anyone with the same answer crosses it out and no one gets the point, so if everyone has “Scott” for “A Boy’s Name,” no points for them. Basically, the game challenges your creativity and pushes you to think of something no one else would think of. You can dispute words and if the group agrees, you get the point anyway. If you can think up standard words and win the game, you are probably doing it wrong.

I Am Better At Scattergories Than You

Yes, I ride a turtle and I can still ruin lives via Scattergories.

Here’s the thing about Scattergories: I could destroy you at Scattergories. Anyone that reads my articles on a regular basis is probably familiar with the fact that I’m borderline ridiculous at best. This all leads to the most epic games of Scattergories imaginable in which every word is a double, triple, and quadruple word, just because I can.

For instance, the category of “Fictitious Character” is basically an open invitation for the most powerful multiple point score ever. If you don’t at least attempt something like “Sir Simon Su Su Spumoni the Second from South Sussex,” an eight-point score, then you aren’t trying very hard at all. I mean come on, the category is “Fictitious Character.” No one can dispute the name! Instant points.

Scattergories has turned out to be one of the best icebreaker games I’ve ever encountered, but only if people are attempting to get away with every silly word rather than play the game as it was intended (the wrong way). Watch people’s faces light up and laughter circle the room eight times over, all for between $29.99 and $39.99. You can thank Sir Simon for the good evening.

Today, board games are as diverse a form of fun and entertainment as you can find.  Word games, strategy, puzzle games and the ever- present classics are among the types you can find on just about any major store’s shelves.

Not only are people still buying board games “over the counter,” but with the advent of the Internet, if you want to play board games on the computer or online, you will find good company.  Collectors are also coming out of the woodwork to get their hands on vintage examples of early board games, and will pay considerable sums of money for rare examples good condition.

Board games and their online versions come in three basic forms:  Dice based, educational and strategy.

Dice-based Board Games

Dice based games, such as Yahtzee, Backgammon, and a newer favorite, Bunco, all rely on using those most ancient of recognizable game tools, six-sided dice.  Roll the dice, make your move or write down your score, rinse and repeat.

Using dice for basic game rules is an amazingly simple, but very effective method, and opens up too many game ideas to imagine – maybe that is why new dice based games pop up constantly. Even complex games, taking (in some cases) years to finish like Dungeons and Dragons, employ dice as their primary element.

Without the invention of the six-sided die, board games and their variations, would not have developed the way the same way in modern culture. D&D is a shining example of how dice games have converted to online and computer play. What was once a pure dice-rolling adventure game, has been turned into several highly successful computer and online based versions.

Dice based games are also seen in many hybrid board games, such as the popular games Monopoly, Candy Land and Shoots and Ladders.  These games combine dice, cards, play money and in some cases, small toys to pack in the action turn after turn.  They are superb entertainment, at the same time teaching math, cooperative play and even basic accounting.

Educational Board Games

The second type of game is what I would call “educational” style board games.  This category has a ton of favorites in it, including Scrabble, Pictionary and Trivial Pursuit.

The focus on these games is not only (sometimes) hilarious fun, but to challenge the mind and to encourage learning.  Since its final conception in 1948, Scrabble has been an important and fabulously fun example of a game offers challenge and enjoyment for people of all ages.

Scrabble also has a large fan base of collector type players who “scramble for scrabble” on vintage boards.  If you can lay your hands on a pristine example from the late 40’s or early 50’s, be prepared to shell out hundreds of dollars, perhaps more.

Trivial Pursuit’s popularity has also passed a more recent test, becoming one of the best selling games of the late 20th century.  It’s focus on answering questions as the path to victory marks it as one of the great learning games.

Strategy Board Games

The last major category is strategy style games.  Chess and Checkers are two that have been played by Emperors, Kings, commoners and witty professional gamers for a very long time.

Strategy games, also including war games such as Risk and Stratego,  teach odds calculation, mathematics, strategic thinking and cooperative play.  They are considered the most challenging board games for many, and are a category where you find people who play both for fun, and as a career.

Chess and Checkers were the first two complex games that appeared on a computer, and helped to develop processing capabilities for the future.  Chess may be the most played board game on the computer, and is certainly one of the most challenging to beat; however it is without question one of the most exciting games in the world.

If you are a true collector of vintage board games, Chess and Checkers are probably the easiest to find of all, and are certainly more common than early versions of games like Monopoly.  Recently, a late 19th century Baseball board game was discovered in the attic of an old home, and sold for a staggering price of $27,000 – take that Chess!