She's still going strong, but what do I care? I'm a dude.

If you haven’t been paying attention, I’m a boy. Shocking, yes? I was born a boy, grew up a boy, and am currently still a boy. This is relevant because today I’m going to talk about Barbies. What could a boy possibly say about Barbies? Plenty, because while I grew up as a boy, all my friends were girls. Plus, Barbie is still incredibly popular these days, so it’s time for a follow-up article to the most famous girls’ toy from a boy’s perspective. Grab your pink convertible and let’s go for a ride.

The Exhaulted Backstory

The year is 1959 for those keeping track. No, not for my childhood, for Barbie’s. Barbara Millicent Roberts was created by Ruth Handler in an attempt to replicate a German doll named Bild Lilli. That’s right, Barbie may just be a replicant of her German ancestors. Would that make her any less successful? I seriously doubt it.

Anyway, Barbie came out way back when and held strong from her inception to yesterday (I haven’t checked today, but I assume she’s still Mattel’s star product), and eventually her life and mine intersected around the late 80’s and early 90’s. I was busy with my current love, Ninja Turtles, but I also had another love: girls. Girls were awesome and I was a smart child, so it was inevitable that I’d find the usefulness of Barbie.

My Childhood With Barbie

That was a pretty sweet house by the way. Totally inconvenient, but pretty sweet.

Sure enough, my friends that happened to be girls (not girlfriends, unfortunately) coincidentally enjoyed Barbie just as much as the next female. The standard models of Barbie came into play, such as Barbie in a bikini, Barbie in an elegant dress, and naked Barbie, a staple of every Barbie collection. Her sisters were in the mix, too, with Skipper, Stacie, and Krissy tagging along in the pink cars to the convenience stand that Barbie owned for some reason or wherever else my friends decided these dolls should go.

I found a nice way to compromise while playing, of course. I had a few G.I. Joes that were the same size as the Barbies, so I’d bring those along and they’d fight right in front of Barbie’s hotdog stand or whatever it was while she swooned. I assume my friends were making her swoon and that sound wasn’t just them getting bored. Even better, I had a Ninja Turtle the same size as well, so Michelangelo got in on the Barbie action a few times, fending off Joe and Ken at the same time.

By the way, I was never quite clear on where Barbie and Ken stood. I knew they were together, but then Mattel came out and said the two broke up in 2004 or something and then got back together in 2006, but I didn’t buy it. Their romance was never genuine, a fact I could see by the fake smiles they always had on when seen in public together. Ken was so lame to me even as a guy that I’d refuse to play as him, opting to be one of Barbie’s friends or sisters or whatever, as long as I wasn’t Ken.

I prefer this Ken, personally.

From a guy’s perspective, Barbie had a lot of cool stuff. I mean, she had dozens of playsets and accessory packs. While it didn’t really interest me to look at clothes and shoes, I could relate insomuch as G.I. Joes had accessory packs with guns and suits and stuff, so the two worlds weren’t really so different. I could definitely see the appeal of all the playsets as well. Barbie had a dream mansion with a real working elevator. None of my Ninja Turtle playsets had a real working anything, let alone an elevator.

My sister had the Barbie Dream Mansion, a super Christmas gift my parents got her one year that even got ME jazzed. Heck, that thing was huge. Plus, I guess I liked my sister. She had a few Barbies but nothing outrageous. Probably the coolest thing I remember seeing her do was gather all her Barbies in a circle, and when we’d asked her what they were doing she said they were having a Bible study. When we’d look back at the circle, our cat, Alex, had grabbed one of the Barbies by the hair and drug it under my sister’s bed where he proceeded to lick its face. Yes, he was the manliest man cat of all man kind.

That’s about as far as I’d like to remember Barbie at the moment, but I know for sure that when I have a daughter, I’ll be getting her a Barbie as soon as possible. But what about you kind folks reading out there? Do you have any good Barbie memories? Or do you prefer not to think about her? Let me know and leave a comment. I have to go play with Ninja Turtles in the meantime to rekindle my manliness. Please excuse me.

Little known fact about me: I grew up as a little boy. What this generally meant is that Barbies weren’t typically in my play-cycle and Hot Wheels dominated most of my free time in between Ninja Turtles. I’m happy to say that even though I’ve taken a long hiatus from the small die-cast cars of my youth, they’ve been waiting around should I ever choose to get back into the habit. It’s always great to know that my kids will someday have the chance to play with my favorite toys.

Simple Fun Without Limits

So what made and still make Hot Wheels so great? Not to sound too crass, but they’re extremely cheap. You can get a pack of 10 for under $15, and a lot of stores will sell them individually for 99 cents. Even better is the sheer amount of models to choose from. You and your friend could each own three-dozen cars and only have two that look identical. This means that every kid has a chance to have a unique set of cars best suited for his or her personality (sure, girls like Hot Wheels, too).

Sweet Glavin! This 10 set has a motorcycle?! I would have killed for a motorcycle Hot Wheels as a kid.

What did I have? I had a few cars that I absolutely loved, but my favorite for some reason was a beat up old Jeep that had a hood that could open. I had entire plotlines that involved this Jeep fighting other cars, just because it was my favorite and clearly the hero among my other cars. It had a posse of several other, “cooler” cars, but nothing could outclass my Jeep, not even the Mach 5 from Speed Racer or a car shaped like a dragon. Nope, the Jeep was my favorite.

Yeah, I'd be happy if I could race cars through a shark all day, too.

There is also a lot to be said for simplicity. While Hot Wheels likes it when you buy new playsets, I always enjoyed a simple play rug. I had a city-themed one the size of my room laid out for me to drive around in. I’d dump out all my Hot Wheels and place them in the city as I figured real cars would be placed in parking lots and at stop signs and such. And then the Jeep would show up and fight all of them just because. Oh yes, life was good. I should go back and buy some new Hot Wheels. Maybe you should, too.

They also make great gifts for your dad.

I’m taking another day off video games to go into one of my favorite things from my childhood: Die-cast cars. The term can be applied to a lot of things, such as Hot Wheels and the like, but I actually won’t be bringing Hot Wheels into this since, well, that makes for an article in of itself sometime next week. Okay, not the classic thought of what makes a car a Hot Wheels car at least. I can’t lie, I’m talking about the most popular die-cast cars right now, so Hot Wheels are going to show up in some way or another.

Hot Wheels Showing Their Stuff

How are they showing up? The highest selling die-cast cars at the moment are Hot Wheels toys based off Disney and Pixar’s movie Cars. Y’all might be familiar with that movie, but if you’re not, the whole premise is centered around a car named Lightning McQueen that wants to be the DinoCo official car by winning all sorts of races. So pretty much the whole world is populated by cars. It’s actually a really good movie with Owen Wilson playing Lightning McQueen. The odd thing here is that the most popular die-cast car isn’t Lightning McQueen; it’s Mater, the junky tow truck voiced by Larry the Cable Guy. I…I don’t make these things up. I wouldn’t make that up if I could.

I guess I can't make fun. My favorite die-cast car was a beat up old jeep.

So what else is popular these days? Star Trek. That means the USS Enterprise is getting bought by the galaxyful in the form of a 1:50 scale model on a nifty little display stand. If I had one of those as a kid, I’d have done nothing else but run around my house flying it from the kitchen to the living room and beyond. I was never into Star Trek at any point of my life, but anything that could fly was considered awesome to me. I assume the same still holds true for kids everywhere.

Something a Bit More Classic

Thus far we’ve had die-cast toys based off talking cars and space ships. There’s an actual car in the die-cast model best sellers, right? You’re dang right there is. High up on the list is the Burago-made Lamborghini 1:18 scale model, met closely by the 1957 Chevy Corvette made by Yat Ming. Kids that want these models are just classy folk and know style. If a kid walks up to his grandpa and says he wants a 1957 Chevy Corvette die-cast model for his birthday, I guarantee it’ll make that man weep tears of joy. I know it’d have that effect on my grandpa at least, and he’s awesome.

This is the USS enterprise, not a 1957 Chevy Corvette. If you can't tell the difference, I've severely over-estimated this generation.

All of these cool-sounding die-cast models must cost a fortune, right? Wrong. Everything I’ve mentioned here is priced under $30, with some, like the Mater toys from Mattel, priced under $6. Kids wanting a die-cast model of something are well within modesty when they request such an item, so treat ‘em well. Stay tuned next week for a larger article on Hot Wheels. Better go out and stock up in preparation.

“What I said was, that it is in the interest of MGA employees and I believe it is in the interest of Mattel shareholders and Mattel employees for the two companies to come to a settlement and move on,” Larian said.

The rumor that MGA was prepared to shell out big bucks as a penalty for “stealing” the Bratz franchise from Mattel was passed around quickly on the toy news scene.  Thanks go to ToyNews for following up on the case and setting the record straight.

MGA still denies that Mattel has any right to the popular Bratz dolls.  We also feel that Mattel is probably crying over sour grapes in this case, as Bratz continue to trounce Barbie for sales, seven years in the making.

Bratz rocking the world

We’re on a roll for reporting Mattel’s various lawsuits.  The toy giant was awarded $100 million in its Bratz ownership suit against MGA Entertainment.  The hip fashion dolls were designed by Carter Bryant while he was under contract with Mattel.

Bryant is most famously known for his Barbie design work, escpecially the high-class Barbie series from the early 2000s known as Grand Entrance Barbie.

Barbie, still elegant after 50 years

When Carter left Mattel, he took his Bratz sketches with him.  And that’s what Mattel won the rights for, as well as the sizable damages from Carter’s new partner MGA.

Mattel’s beef in understandable.  Ever since Bratz came on the market in 2001, Barbie has been losing her place in little girl’s hearts around the world.  Meanwhile, the Bratz dolls were awarded the Toy Industry Association’s People’s Choice Toy of the Year Award, as well as the Family Fun’s Toy of the Year award.

Bratz may never give the mantle back to Barbie. The line of dolls and accessories have successful been spun into new music albums and a popular children’s show as well.

Some of the most popular toys are the Wayne Tech Mega Cape Accessory, a cape with a five foot wingspan that retracts into a back harness. The Shift Attack Sports Coupe comes with both Batman and Bruce Wayne figures, and the coupe turns into a missile-firing attack vehicle. And the Rapid Fire Utility Belt has a motorized blaster of foam missiles and also comes with a cape.

Collectors, however, are flocking to the Joker toys. Heath Leger’s renowned performance and untimely death have made the toys all the more appealing. The Japanese toy company Medicom has also released some hip designer vinyl toys.