Don't let that nose fool you; Link is a stone-cold badass here.

I got Skyward Sword at the end of November as a birthday present and since then I’d expect to be utterly finished with it, what with it being a month removed from my first getting it and it being a highly-anticipated Zelda game. And yet, for some reason I’m not playing it tonight. To be frank, I haven’t played it for over a week, and I’m not even half way through it yet. Instead, I took a two-week diversion to replay Zelda II on my 3DS thanks to the Ambassador Program.

For a Zelda game, the plot is actually somewhat original compared to other entries. Not only that, but no Zelda game since has replicated the gameplay style. Instead of the top-down perspective seen in the original Legend of Zelda or A Link to the Past, Zelda II is an action sidescroller. Link gets an item in each temple, but it can’t be used other than on the overworld map to break boulders or see in caves. The items are actually just pretty unimportant other than a means to access the next temple.

The whole game here revolves around a very simple combat mechanic. Link can stab with his sword while standing or crouched, plus can learn an upward and downward thrust attack. Beyond a few basic magic spells (you’ll get really friendly with Heal pretty quick), that’s about all you’ll need to know, but mastering the combat is a trip that’s vastly rewarding.

And you'd better master it quick or you're going to get rawked.

It’s all based on the risk/reward system, perpetuated even more by experience points. For the first and only time ever, Link can level up, thus getting more health, magic, or sword strength, but in order to level up you have to earn enough points before running out of lives. Lose all your lives and it’s game over, meaning you lose all the experience points you haven’t banked. So then, should you press your luck and fight through some Darknuts in the next temple, or play it safe and level grind in the woods on weaker enemies?

Going back to that plot, things are kind of strange here. Ganon is dead and only makes an appearance if Link gets a game over as Ganon’s followers are trying to resurrect him using Link’s blood. I mentioned how dark that was a while ago, yes? Okay. The point is, there isn’t even an ultimate villain that’s trying to kill Link or threatening the land. Princess Zelda, the original that the legend is based on, is asleep and needs to be awoken via the Trifoce. Link has the Triforces of Power and Wisdom as collected in the previous game, but the Triforce of Courage awaits him at the end of this one. Stranger still, Link doesn’t pick up a new piece or gem or medallion or anything when he beats a temple. Rather, he places a stone into a statue, effectively making this the only Zelda game of knowledge where the point is to leave the temple with less than you took in.

I really like the idea of the whole game not being a quest to defeat a boss character, but an extended metaphor for showing courage and conquering one’s own dark side. The clencher is the final temple known as the Great Palace, probably the single hardest Zelda dungeon ever designed due to the sheer brutality of it all. After slogging through the toughest enemies of the game, you finally reach the bottom and fight the terrifying Thunderbird, the guardian of the Triforce of Courage. Upon destroying it, you move into a room where a little man, possibly the Old Man from the first game, separates you from your shadow. And Dark Link is born! The fight is unbelievably difficult, especially after just coming from a boss fight and the death march through the Great Palace (unless you know the trick of crouching in the corner and stabbing at his knees).

Trust me on this one: The combat is solid and if you're dying too much, it's your own fault. And because Zelda II is stupid-hard.

Only after defeating his literal dark side can Link possess the entirety of the Triforce and awaken Princess Zelda. Think of the annoying fetch quest for the Triforce shards in The Wind Waker but elongate it into the entire story and remove the annoying fetch quest part. Making the plot essentially feel like a side quest from another Zelda game actually makes this more enjoyable for me since it’s so far outside the norm. Hey, variety is good sometimes.

Seeing as how this is an NES game made by Nintendo, you have more than enough methods to currently play it. If you don’t have access to the original cartridge, which itself is easily found for under $10, you can download it from the Wii’s Virtual Console, try and find it on the GameCube’s special Legend of Zelda Collector’s Edition disc, snag it on the Game Boy Advance, or most recently unwrap it via the 3DS’ Ambassador Program (perhaps you’re a member and just haven’t downloaded Zelda II or played it yet). So many ways to play it, no excuse not to.

And that’s really all there is to say. It’s a challenging title since it was built back in the days of Nintendo Hard, so don’t expect to get very far without some basic skills and a walkthrough. Beyond that though, don’t miss out on this gem just because you keep hearing it’s the “bad” Zelda game. It’s not. It’s one of the better Zelda games. Now Phantom Hourglass, boy, there was a bad Zelda game. Discuss.

Doing more with less

Video game soundtracks today are so unimaginative. Making music exciting and dramatic is easy when you have a full orchestra at your disposal. Try making a musical impact when you only have a few “instruments” to work with…it’s a little bit harder yet all the more memorable. Little did I know back in the NES days that the game music of the time would become its own genre more than a decade later.

All of these 8-bit era tunes can now be filed under the music heading of “chip tunes” and you’ll find there is a huge following of composers making new 8-bit style music that rivals some of the best game music that I’ll highlight below. I admit that nostalgia runs high when I hear the 5-channel hum of an 8-bit song, but what I really love about the music is how such a limited set of sounds can make such a huge impact. The best game soundtracks are ones that capture the emotion of what’s happening in the game to the point that it works beyond the game. Think about it…most game music is there to set the tone of the level or action that is happening.

Boss battles got big, ominous music that made you feel the pressure and the importance. Driving games got fast and groovy music. Action games got a strong, grinding beat while fantasy titles about wizards and warriors got the appropriate mythical themes. Now take that music out of the game and drop them into your every day life and if you’re like me, you’ll find some of it fits there too. Under a deadline at work? There’s video game music for that. Blogging about some happy moments? There’s a track for that too…all of it in beeping and blooping 8-bit glory.

The birth of a genre

I’m not ashamed to say that I listen to old Nintendo music a lot…at work, at home, in the car…doesn’t matter. When the mood strikes, I’ll put on my headphones (to spare co-workers) and fire up my favorite tracks. Not only will it take me back to a simpler time when life’s only worry was video games, the music really helps me focus because it’s track after track of songs I love and know…and there’s no lyrics or words to distract me. Pure electric boogaloo.

It doesn’t matter what age or generation of games you are, some music has just become timeless and iconic…songs you can’t escape. The Super Mario Bros theme and Zelda themes being two of the big ones, but behind these monolithic 8-bit scores are many great tracks that you’ve maybe never heard or maybe just forgotten. So here in no particular order are some of my favorite 8-bit game soundtracks.

Mega Man 3

Let’s get the easy one out of the way. It’s hard to find poor music when you look back at the 8-bit generation of Mega Man games, and every gamer has their preference, but mine is Mega Man 3. Not only is this the Mega Man title I remember the most, it is probably the soundtrack I listen too most frequently today. To my best estimation, there is no less than 30 minutes of awesome music as you battle through every stage in the game. Everything starts with a simple little jingle of sorts and then races into non-stop melody that doesn’t disappoint.

Robocop

I admit that I have a soft spot in my heart for Robocop. As a huge fan of the movie growing up, it was only proper that I was a fan of the NES game (a game in which I would later hold a world record). Movie video games were less prominent then than they are now so when they came out you noticed. But what makes the Robocop game music standout, fanboy love notwithstanding, is that it seems a near-perfect port of the actual score. The theme is highlighted during the film’s montage of Robocop kicking ass, and all you do in the video game is punch and shoot, so it’s only proper that the music makes you feel like doing just that. The music really put you in the mindset that you were a part of the movie…at least as much as an 8-bit Robocop can.

Battletoads

Battletoads has two accolades in my book. One is that it is one of the hardest NES games you’ll ever player. Two is that the soundtrack is absolutely awesome. Every track makes you want to keep moving and that’s exactly what you need to do in the game. The highlight of the score comes in the third level when it goes from a slow grind into a high-octane beat while you’re riding the hover bikes. The music matched the moment and if you ever need some music to push you to the finish line, this is it.

Batman

The first Batman game on the NES is on my Games You Should Have Played list and not just because it’s a lot of fun to play, but because it looks good and it sounds good. Unlike Robocop, Batman doesn’t make use of any film music so it’s all original and that’s all for the better. Every track sounds like superhero music should…powerful and hopeful, but not without moments of despair. I’ll argue that there’s not a bad track to be found in the 17-minute soundtrack. Much like the game, this soundtrack is one of the 8-bit era’s most overlooked.

The Immortal

If superheroes and cyborgs aren’t your thing, try out music from The Immortal and you’ll be transportable to your local renaissance fair instantly…assuming the bards were jamming out on NES consoles and not nose flutes. To be honest, the only track that sticks out here is the title track. Beyond that a few tracks can be somewhat clunky with more thuds and beeps that melody, but a few of the tracks set a good dungeon-fighting mood.

Castlevania, Blades of Steel, Lifeforce…or just about any other Konami game

Out of all the 8-bit era games there are two houses that created most of the memorable music. One of them was Nintendo, the other was Konami. You know the Nintendo songs by heart but music Konami games put out was just as good if not better. I know the Blades of Steel music isn’t a popular ring tone like Mario sounds are, but you’ll be hard pressed to find other NES music with as much depth as games like Castlevania (and Simon’s Quest!), Gradius, Contra and one of my favorites, Rush N Attack. It’s hard to pick just game out of the bunch…of course, it doesn’t help that the music across these games was fairly consistent and shared a lot of traits.

Super Mario Bros 2

I know I said I wasn’t going to include any first-party Nintendo games but I just can’t say “No” to the Super Mario Bros. 2 music, it’s just too happy. You can cite to me the history of SMB2 and how it’s not really a Mario game and all that stuff…I know all that, and I don’t really care. Fact of the matter is, this is one of the most light-hearted and fun soundtracks to come out of the NES era. If the music from this game doesn’t put you in a good mood, you’re a robot.

Chiptunes are alive and well

Even though the 8-bit era of gaming is more than 25 years behind us, the music from the games of the day are alive and well, and they’ve been inspiring new artists ever since. Finding old game music online isn’t too hard but if you’re looking for some new chiptunes then head over to places like 8 Bit Peoples and the 8 Bit Collective. There you’ll find people that have composed original chiptune works using NESes, Game Boys, and everything in between. If you’re not sure where to start, I suggest looking up the artists RushJet1 and Virt. All good stuff there that will take you instantly back to 1988.

In this list I focused only on NES games but I’d like to throw in a serious nod to the TurboGrafx 16 console and all the great music it pumped out as well. The TurboGrafx 16 was an 8-bit machine that acted like a 16-bit machine and because of that it’s not really fair to compare it to the NES but technically they are of the same era. Look for Dungeon Explorer and have your mind blown.

Hot dogs and pickles and eggs, oh my

I know I’ve quickly become the resident “old coot” that doesn’t think anything new is better than the old originals, but in my defense, that’s usually the case. Everyone and their brother tries to reinvent or re-introduce old arcade franchises, and that rarely turns out good. Some games, like Pac-Man CE, end up being new classics and worthy heirs to the throne, but most games just need to stay in their original form, and BurgerTime is one of them.

The original BurgerTime easily makes it onto my Top 5 list of favorite arcade games. I admit that I was introduced to BurgerTime on the NES, but I went back from there to discover the arcade version and never looked back. BurgerTime took the the methodical game play of Pac-Man and applied it to the wonderful world of fast food. You play the part of Peter Pepper and your job is to make hamburgers, but in your way stands the meanest hot dogs, eggs and pickles you’ve ever met.

Even though BurgerTime has the looks of a platformer, I have trouble calling it that because there’s no jumping. The only thing you have to stave off the evil condiments of doom is your speed, your wits and a few shots of pepper, which will stun your enemies where they stand. To score points you need to run over the parts of your sandwich, at which point they will fall to the bottom of the board. If you manage to crush the bad guys you’ll get extra points, and if you can manage to give Mr. Hot Dog a ride on your falling tomato, you’ll get even more points. It takes patience and flick-of-the-wrist moves to run up your score, but that’s okay because you’re in no hurry…there’s no timer to worry about.

There’s plenty of challenge in the original BurgerTime that rivals any classic arcade game and it will test any gamer’s mettle. Unfortunately, the latest version of BurgerTime, released last week on XBLA and PSN, won’t test your mettle or even rock like heavy metal. BurgerTime World Tour exhibits just about everything that makes a less-than-mediocre game while simultaneously making loyal arcade fans weep.

Not the BurgerTime you remember…or want

BurgerTime World Tour takes the same premise as the original, man versus food, but in efforts to update the game, the developers manage to deliver little more than a crappy avatar platformer…and this time it really is a platformer. For some reason they decided that allowing your character to jump was a good idea. Now let me ask you this: Do you think Pac-Man would be just as a fun if you could jump over the ghosts? Of course not, that’s half the challenge and fun! Now in BurgerTime World Tour you don’t even have to worry about running around avoiding the evil eggs, you can just jump over them.

As if that wasn’t enough to ruin a good game, you’ll be facing a new enemy in this version of BurgerTime – the clock. Every level has a target time to beat, and just like that you’re in a race against the clock rather than worrying about how to lead and thwart your enemies in order to exploit them for the most points possible. One of the great things about the original BurgerTime was your ability to set the pace. You could spend 15 minutes on the first board if you needed…it was all about the points. Don’t get me wrong, I love a good timed mode game…they’re the best, if you ask me. But that just doesn’t work in a game that asks you to lead unpredictable AI to specific spots on the board. So am I trying to finish the level as fast as I can, or am I supposed to take my time and try to rank up the points?

Another aspect of BurgerTime World Tour that doesn’t help things are the updated graphics. As one would expect, they 3D-ized the game, which might have been a welcomed change if said visuals didn’t make playing the game even more uncertain and frustrating. One of the skills you learn in the original BurgerTime is leading a bad guy onto one of the ingredient platforms (like lettuce) and then making it fall, earning you big points. It’s tricky and requires near pixel-perfect timing and precision. This isn’t too bad when you’re looking at a 2D board but when you have (poorly rendered) 3D shapes and characters running around, it complicates your timing and is thus quite irritating. But if you’ve ever wanted to see yourself chase done a hot dog in a cowboy hat, you’re in luck because BurgerTime World Tour lets you play as your avatar character. Oh joy.

Quit ruining good games!

There’s one thing that could have saved BurgerTime World Tour and that would have been the original BurgerTime. I don’t know why they didn’t bundle in the original game as an unlock achievement because that would have (almost) made the game worth the $10 price tag. But as it stands, BurgerTime World Tour comes off as a half-assed re-imagining of an arcade classic. It reeks of one of those cheap avatar games you find in the indie section that does little more than con you out of your dollar.

More often than not, a light touch is all that is needed to update and reintroduce a classic game to a new generation of gamers. If I was asked to remake BurgerTime, I might have added some more levels and updated the 2D graphics a bit, but the core game would have remained unchanged. It worked for Pac-Man CE, there’s no reason it wouldn’t have worked for BurgerTime. ‘Tis a shame.

I must disclaim that I did not play the multiplayer modes of BurgerTime World Tour and thus this review only covers the single-player mode.

Big games in a little package

In this case, I’m not talking about the few arcade games that were mentioned at E3 this year, it’s the arcade games that weren’t announced. In fact, I’m going to talk about the arcade games we might never see but should. The console arcade platforms are the perfect place to update classic games and there are a ton that still deserve another time to shine.

Rampart: Part Tetris, part tower defense, all fun. Ripe for a remake.

Rampart

I first played Rampart on the NES and it was responsible for many lost hours in front of the TV. Rampart was a game that combined the puzzle aspect of Tetris and frantic-yet-strategic gun play of Worms and Angry Birds. You had to place your castle wall pieces to surround your home base which would then give you real estate to place your cannons. Then it was all out war as you try to blow holes in your opponent’s walls, hopefully severe enough that they can’t rebuild.

Rampart was played best with another player and XBLA or PSN gamers would benefit grossly from a modern version…and I’m not just talking about a port. Rampart was only a two-player game but imagine the fun of four players building and defending their castles while trying to attack each other at the same time. Toss in some power-ups and special attacks and you have yourself a night of good old fashioned, new arcade fun. Dear Atari, for the good of gamers everywhere, please remake Rampart. I’m telling you, it would work and work wonderfully…and a $15 price tag would be even better.

Motorcycles and weapons, a great combination.

Road Rash

There’s been some rumors flying around that a Road Rash update was coming to the current generation of consoles but I have yet to read anything that confirms it. That being said, we need a new Road Rash and we need it now. In a world of puffy and cute Mario Karts, it’s time we get to enjoy some racing brutality. Road Rash was a Genesis game that had you riding your crotch rocket motorcycle while fending off other bikers with weapons like crowbars, bats and chains. Not bad.

Road Rash had a lot of sequels over a short period of time, the last title being on the Playstation. However, with today’s high end consoles and connectivity, Road Rash just lends itself to super online play. We’re talking motorcycles here so having no less than eight opponents at once shouldn’t be a problem. But one thing a Road Rash remake doesn’t need to be is open world. We already have Burnout for that, so please stick to the Road Rash roots – linear roads and lots of weapons. Just think Mortal Kombat on motorcycles.

Trap Gunner

Trap Gunner is most definitely the one game on this list you’ve never heard of or played. Trap Gunner was a Playstation that, for lack of a better comparison, was a lot like Bomberman. The goal of the game was to kill your opponent by laying different types of traps and bombs around the board. However, unlike Bomberman, the levels in Trap Gunner weren’t simple grids and boxes. Trap Gunner stages had bridges, hills, sewers, clock towers and a bunch of other environmental pieces that played directly into your strategy. Trap Gunner was also a little unique in that it had distinct characters, each with strengths and weaknesses. I like to think of Trap Gunner as a Bomberman for serious gamers. It’s unfortunate more people haven’t played the game and that’s why it needs a reboot in the arcade space. Honestly, I’d even take a straight up port at this point.

Skate or Die

I first played Skate or Die on my friend’s Apple II computer, then later rocked the half pipe on my NES. Skateboarding may not be as hip as it once was, but it still lends itself to some great, in-your-face gaming. Skate or Die had a lot of solo challenges, but we all know the most fun was in the pool facing Lester with some American Gladiator-style pugil sticks.

I’m seeing a Skate or Die reboot that focuses more on fighting than the single-player downhill challenge, although using those challenges as ways to improve your character for online battle would be pretty cool. This new version of Skate or Die would serve everyone. You’d have your trick challenges and timed events for the leaderboard gamers and the hand-to-hand combat for everyone else. Heck, even throw in some of today’s real life skating stars and then we can have some licensed skating fun!

A purple mohawk? We all know mohawks are supposed to be red.

Blades of Steel (and others)

I have to admit that I’ve been watching the Stanley Cup finals, thus hockey is on my brain, and when I think of hockey and video games my mind always goes to Blades of Steel. I’m not a big sports game guy but there was a time when I couldn’t stop playing them. In the days of Blades of Steel, Tecmo Bowl and RBI Baseball, gameplay was simple yet fun and extremely cut-throat. Many an NES remote was thrown out of frustration thanks to these games. One problem many current sports games suffer from is extreme complexity. Between the Madden and 2K games, you need a degree just to swing a bat or shoot a puck.

Tecmo Bowl was remade for XBLA a while ago and remained true to the original. I shouldn’t complain about that but I think these games need and deserve more than just some minor updates. However, while I say that, I also don’t want to see these games turn into cheap, power-up play like the 3 on 3 NHL Arcade or Madden Arcade versions. We need modern-looking games with classic style controls (and real teams). I want to be able to enjoy a quick game of baseball without it being too cute or too complex. With a fun and balanced game like Blades of Steel in the arcade, I’d be back playing sports games daily.

It’s not about nostalgia, it’s about good games

We have 30 years worth of modern video games to look back on, and while many complain about the rehashing old franchises, if they’re handled properly we could have some really fun games to play. In the end it’s not about the name on the front of the box, it’s the game on the inside. No one seems to be complain about the minimally updated Mario game released every year, so why should they no want other well made classic reboots?

Brian is a freelance writer and life-long gamer that blogs and tweets about the good old days.

Want more articles on games we’d like to see made? Check these out:

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Remaking the classics

As a retro gamer, hearing about remakes of my favorite games is usually a welcomed thing. Arcade games like Pac-Man CE and Galaga Legions successfully brought classic games up to speed while still offering something new. Even straight up remakes that don’t stray that far from the nest, like Bionic Commando Rearmed and Military Madness, are great fun despite not offering much more than better graphics. So when I heard about a new Rush N Attack game, I was ready to return to a game I loved.

Rush N Attack on the NES: non-stop stabbing action and a personal favorite.

We couldn’t attack Russians, but we could rush ‘n attack

Rush N Attack on the NES is a long-time favorite of mine. Along with non-stop knife fighting and a killer soundtrack, Rush N Attack was one of the first NES games to feature simultaneous co-op play, which added a whole new challenge to the game. There’s nothing fancy about Rush N Attack; it’s a straight forward arcade game where one stab kills every bad guy and the only real challenge is timing and jumping. As I grew older and my gaming skills improved, the challenge was no longer just finishing the game but how long it took me to do it. For a while I was out to capture the world record in completion time, which stands at a little less than 10 minutes. I could only get my time down to about 12 minutes but every now and then I’ll drop in the game and give it another try.

A bad trip down memory lane

When I saw that Rush N Attack: Ex-Patriot was coming out on XBLA, I was hoping for something along the lines of Bionic Commando Rearmed. I wanted a graphical update and some new story but otherwise I still wanted a good old fashioned run-n-gun…er, run-n-stab…arcade game. I played the Ex-Patriot demo and while it wasn’t what I had hoped, it wasn’t too bad…then I read the reviews. Ex-Patriot got some harsh critiques all around and a lot of it sounded rather unfair, so I gave the game the benefit of the doubt and purchased the full game for $10. I figured the game couldn’t be that bad, after all, this is Rush N Attack, a game I loved.

Rush N Attack: Ex-Patriot is not what it should be.

Well, I was wrong. Instead of a simple and fun remake, what I got was a game that suffers from a bit of an identity crisis. In some ways, Ex-Patriot makes good on the run-n-stab part but then at times it tries to be all stealthy and Metal Gear-esque. Then on top of that you have some little find-n-return quests that bring what little momentum you may have to a grinding halt. As if that wasn’t enough, the graphics are pretty weak and remind you more of a Playstation 2 game than a current gen title. Even the cut-scenes are bad without any voice acting whatsoever…who wants to read? The controls are flaky at best, and to top it it off, there’s almost no music to speak of. Let me tell you that when there’s no driving beat behind your stabbing of bad guys, it’s just not as exciting.

I often think that professional game critics skew their reviews to achieve business agendas, but in this case, everything you’ve read about Rush N Attack: Ex-Patriots is probably true. In the end, they managed to remove almost everything that made the original Rush N Attack fun and challenging. And if you haven’t played the original or NES version of Rush N Attack, do yourself a favor and give it a try. Then try to finish it in 12 minutes or less.

Yar's Revenge on the Atari 2600 could be seen as abstract at best.

From obscure to even more obscure

Thankfully, however, one reboot that won’t leave you wishing for a refund is Yar’s Revenge, also available on XBLA for $10. I had never played the original Yar’s Revenge on Atari until now and it is…interesting…and not without its challenges, but I’m not sure how it earned the prestige of being the best selling Atari 2600 title. Nonetheless, the reboot had the luxury of being able to revisit a game that was so abstract that they could do with it whatever they wanted, and they decided to turn it into one of my favorite genres: the rail shooter.

In Yar’s Revenge you’re a mutant dragonfly person that flies around a world of tropical trees and hills shooting giant spiders and other perturbed insects. I admit that might not sound as exciting as stabbing some angry Soviets but believe me, it’s far more rewarding and challenging. Yar’s Revenge uses a dual-stick control scheme similar to that of Rez HD or After Burner Climax where you move your player with one stick while targeting with the other. There’s a little learning curve but since you don’t have to worry about navigation, you can focus on mastering the controls and learning the levels so you can work on your score.

Let me be clear that Yar’s Revenge is all about getting a high score. If you’re looking for a deep story or lots of options, this is not the game for you. There are only five levels but each one is packed with enemies and exhausting boss battles. You’ll probably be able to the complete the game in one night, but like any good shooter, it may be easy to start but extremely hard to master. It takes dedication but when you finally reach that high score or pull of that incredibly long combo chain, you won’t get a better feeling of accomplishment, something you won’t get playing Rush N Attack.

The new Yar's Revenge, an update worthy of playing.

Give me more but please tread lightly

Revisiting and updating old video games is a slippery slope. Sometimes it pays off and delivers a great experience that makes you happy to be a fan. Other times it just makes you weep for the future of gaming while also making you angry because they just made a mockery of your childhood. I’m sad to see the good name of Rush N Attack get dragged through the mud, but I’m glad Yar’s Revenge was brought out of obscurity and has made me a fan.

Both Rush N Attack: Ex-Patriot and Yar’s Revenge are available for 800 MS points ($10) in the Xbox Live Arcade.

Brian is a freelancer writer that blogs and tweets about retro gaming, toys, cartoons and more.

Want more game reviews? Check these out:

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Beautiful cut scenes and great gameplay, Batman delivered.

Quick, to the Batcave!

New Nintendo games were a rare occurrence growing up. Fifty dollars was a lot for your average 10-year-old, so when it came to buying new release games, you had to try and choose wisely. I figured I couldn’t go wrong with Batman. I remember getting the game for Christmas at Toys R Us, back when you had to take the ticket up to the front of the store. I had never played Batman before but it looked great and hey, it was Batman!

Thankfully, Batman turned out to be a great game. It looked good, sounded great and played well. The soundtrack has to be one of the best from the NES era and is one I still listen to today. The game also had awesome looking cut scenes based on the Tim Burton movie, but otherwise shared little from the film. In the game, Batman came equipped with a trio of weapons and the ability to to do wall jumps; what more do you need?

Well, whether you wanted it or not, this game was a challenge. Despite there being only five levels, each one came with its own unique difficulties and bosses. Like many games of the time, Batman was a play-and-repeat platformer. You play, you die, you try again…and again. It was all about memorizing patterns and levels but even then it was a challenge. Your jumps had to be perfect and you had to do a decent amount of ammo management.

The Joker to my Batman, The Firebug.

Getting professional help

I had Batman for a couple years before I completed it, and even then I needed some help. There was no real internet to speak of at this point in 1992 and I didn’t even have a computer yet. This was still prime time for Nintendo Power magazine and if you wanted answers, you had to go direct to the source. Out of pure frustration, I fired up the old typewriter and asked The Big N for some tips. I managed to make it to the boss that was right before the Joker and just couldn’t figure it out. His pattern was simple enough but I kept getting stopped and wasting all my lives.

Nintendo’s reply was short and sweet and pretty much told me you had to have full ammo to beat the boss, The Firebug, to then move on to the Joker. However, just because I knew how to beat the boss doesn’t mean it was easy to accomplish. You still had to make it there and then hit the guy without missing. Eventually I got it and made it to the Joker, only to get wiped out pretty quick, but I had finally beaten the Firebug and the end of the game was in sight. After more numerous attempts I defeated the Joker and there was much rejoicing.

Holy cut scenes, Batman!

It’s funny how momentous finishing a game was on the NES. Especially in a game like Batman where there were cut scenes rather than just a “Congratulations” message. Once I beat the Joker I remember putting my controller on the ground so I wouldn’t accidentally hit a button and skip the ending. I knew I might never be able to accomplish this again so I wasn’t going to miss it for anything. I watched as another movie-inspired cut scene showed the Joker fall from Gotham Cathedral, followed by your standard issue staff credits, all to the awesome 8-bit soundtrack.

Even today, I’m not sure if I’ve ever completed Batman again. I’ve gone back to play it a few times since then and never even made it to the last level to take another shot at the Joker. I still have my Batman game cartridge and even though I can play the game on any number of emulators, nothing beats throwing it in my NES and giving the game another run…I just have to make sure I have my Nintendo Power letters handy.

Want more recommendations for Games You Should Have Played? Check these out:

-Games You Should Have Played: Golden Sun: The Lost Age

-Games You Should Have Played: Resident Evil 4

-Games You Should Have Played: Mega Man 2

Yup, the Foot Clan doesn't stand a chance.

This last week my mother came to visit me/clean my apartment and one of the things she was kind enough to bring me, upon request, were my four really cool Ninja Turtle action figures based off the black and white comics. I set them up on my shelf to constantly remind me of my Turtley roots, so I got to thinking about where my two favorite childhood loves crossed paths. I decided I’d like to talk about Ninja Turtle video games today, so sit back and grab a nice cool mutagent canister ‘cause this trip down memory lane is gonna be radical.

Sweet Memories of a Better time

The very first Ninja Turtle game I had the chance to play, as with most kids, was the game simply titled Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles for the NES. It’s the only Ninja Turtle game like it, and it’s unfairly difficult. If you’ve played it then you already know how tough it can be, and even if you haven’t played it you’re probably familiar with the common knowledge that it’s completely unforgivable. It’s a strictly one-player game but you’re allowed to switch between the four Turtles at any moment to utilize their various weapons. Leo has his katana, which get twice as powerful when he’s at half health, Raph has his sai, which become very effective against later enemies, Don has the all-powerful long-range bo, and Mike is worthless. It always broke my heart but Mike had to be used as the damage sponge since his usefulness otherwise depended on which secondary weapon he’s picked up. The big trick to the game is patience. Anyone could dominate in the game as long as you take the time to max out each Turtle with the scroll weapon, but it’s tedious and takes exactly one forever. I never beat this one but I’ve become progressively better and better each time I attempt it.

By the way, the intro music for this game is one of my favorite video game tracks ever. Seriously, it's awesome.

I still loved the challenge of a good NES game, so when I got my hands on TMNT the Arcade Game for the NES, also known as TMNT 2, I was incredibly happy. It became the standard style for Turtle games from then on since it adhered to the Beat ‘Em Up formula, a genre that works perfectly here. You could finally have a second player join in the fight and the game was at least reasonably beatable, something that I did and did with gusto. I got so good I could beat this one without losing a single life. I was amazing. You just had to know the special attack that destroyed every minor enemy with one hit. Sadly, the Turtles all played exactly the same, just with different skins.

For bosses, it was all about the jump attack. Super cheap but super effective.

While I had played the actual TMNT Arcade Game in arcades as a kid, I never got very far before the difficulty became tremendous. After all, the game was built to suck quarters, and it knew just how to suck quarters. However, the NES version had more levels, so I wasn’t sure which I preferred. It wasn’t until Xbox Live got a port of the arcade game that I was able to truly appreciate the Arcade Game the way it was meant to be enjoyed: with all four Turtles at once. Awesome, despite the problems with lag. I still had a few weeks mastering the game once again, and while I don’t think it’s possible to beat it without losing a life, I’ve gotten quite good again.

It definitely had the NES beat in terms of graphics and multiplayer, hence the decent Xbox Live port here.

The successor to the Arcade Game was Manhattan Project, TMNT 3 for the NES. This wasn’t a port of an arcade title but a game built specifically for the NES. Once again, it was amazing. Konami knew how to treat the Turtles well, something I’m sad to say Ubisoft, the current holders of the Turtle rights, don’t have a clue about, hence why none of the newer games are going to show up in a favorable review from me. TMNT 3 took the style from 2 and pushed it further so that each Turtle did actually play differently and had individual special moves, except now they cost life to use, meaning you couldn’t just spam your way through the game with them. This was another one I never beat but I’ve been to the final boss many, many times. I only wish it’d get an Xbox Live treatment like the Arcade Game, with updated graphics and levels and all that for four players. Oh well.

The jump to the SNES was huge. Turtles in Time, TMNT IV, is one of my favorite SNES games and my absolute favorite Ninja Turtle game since it controls so perfectly. It’s tough to pinpoint what the precise aspect of the game is that makes it good, but the remake doesn’t have it, in case you missed that review. It may just be the soundtrack, but I can’t even come to a consensus with myself which version has the better music between the SNES version and the arcade version. I prefer the SNES version of the game since there are once again more levels, plus a ton of bonus features like Time Trials and the option to change the art style to the comic versions, making each Turtle look a bit different in comparison. Nothing huge, but it was great. Still, the prospect of four-player Turtles is always tempting.

But dang it did you feel dumb when you hit a spiky ball.

My final memory with Turtle games happens to be the biggest stretch for the franchise, Tournament Fighters. I played the NES and SNES version, but I can safely say the SNES version was the best. It was a shameless Street Fighter rip-off, with the various moves assigned to the different Turtle cast such as Don knowing Chun-Li’s Spinning Bird Kick, Leo knowing Guile’s Flash Kick, and Mike capable of the Shoryu-ken, though he calls it “Rising Thunder” in this game. While the four Turtles are obviously playable, as well as Shredder, the other fighters are more obscure, assuming they even appeared in the Turtles catalog to begin with. You have Wingnut, which I know they had as an action figure, Chrome Dome, another action figure and character in the cartoon, and the Rat King, though you had to input a code to play as him. Otherwise the other players are Armaggon, a shark mutant, War, a spiky thing, and Aska, the girl character. The final boss is Karai, a character none of us knew at the time of the game’s release but who has become fairly well known at this point. My favorite aspect to the whole game was the special meter that charged up as you did damage and blocked attacks. When it was full you could unleash your super move, with Mike’s “Dance of Fury” being my favorite since he just bum-rushed his opponent and used every single move he had to beat the heck out of them. It wasn’t a great game, but it had Turtles in it, so I was rather happy with the outcome.

Ninja Turtles in Street Fighter? Sure, I'd buy that, and did.

You may be asking, where are the Game Boy Turtles games? Well, I only played Rise of the Foot Clan, and while I thought it was pretty great, I don’t have much to say about it. I never played the others, despite my desire to do so. Overall, these are my memories, which I write to you as I listen to various Ninja Turtle game remixes and the soundtrack to Turtles in Time. I’ll just never tell you which version of the soundtrack I’m listening to. That’s my secret. Okay, it’s the SNES version. But my memories are running out, which means it’s your turn to talk Turtle for a bit. What were your favorite Turtle games? Did you ever beat TMNT on the NES? Do you wish Ubisoft would just give the rights back to Konami? Me, too.

Whoa, that looks pretty tight.

Do I love Mega Man? Yes I do. I even wrote about how much I loved Mega Man 2, specifically. Not long ago Capcom decided to bring the Blue Bomber back to his NES roots and copied the style of his original games exactly for Mega Man 9. Everything was just like it was on the NES, graphics, sounds, controls, and even screen-stutter if you really wanted the authentic experience. Mega Man 10 continues this trend, but is it any good?

New Game; Classic Look

In a word: Yes. Mega Man 10 is worth the money you’ll pay since Capcom actually does know a thing or two about making classic Mega Man games when they discover that such an action is rather profitable. Mega Man 9 decided that the best part of the Mega Man games was the difficulty, and Mega Man 10 seems to follow suit. You will die a heck of a lot, even if you’re a seasoned gamer. You’ll probably even have to resort to hoarding energy tanks just to beat the final boss. There just isn’t much sympathy to the non-hardcore gamer.

Except there is this time. Mega Man 10 has an Easy Mode that allows you to play the game with fewer enemies and covers over insta-death pits. The game still won’t be “easy,” but it will be “easier,” and definitely gives you a chance to get better with the controls and the level layouts. It’s nice to see a Mega Man game be a bit friendlier to those of us that enjoy Mega Man but don’t have the same patience our childhood selves had to sit in front of a TV dying all afternoon at a frustrating level.

A baseball-themed Robot Master? Meh, sure, go for it.

What’s actually new this time compared to the Easy Mode is that Proto Man is available to play as from the get-go instead of being downloadable content after release. That’s good to hear since I thought it was kind of lame to have to pay for something that really should have been in the game in the first place. So yes, it’s nice to see it here instantly. You can also download Bass as a playable character at some point though, so there’s something to keep you playing.

The new Robot Masters are the usual fare for the tenth installment with everyone focusing on Sheep Man as the clear standout much like Splash Woman was for Mega Man 9. The boss battles are fun, just as always, and the level design is challenging without being completely unfair, also just as always. This is how a game is designed for the old school fans out there. The story is pitiful, but at least the gameplay is solid.

You can’t do much better than Mega Man 10. It can be downloaded from WiiWare, Xbox Live Arcade, or the Playstation Network for $10, meaning you aren’t really out a whole bunch if you’d really like to play some good Mega Man. The extra Challenge Modes certainly sweeten the deal quite a hefty bit.

Is the Wii a bad system? Let's Think Deep.

At this moment in time, the Nintendo Wii is set up to be known as the “winner” of the current console cycle due to the unexpected amount of sales and complete reversal from the previous console cycle. I for one couldn’t be happier for reasons I’ll get to eventually. Regardless of sales numbers, the Wii is nearly universally panned by gamers due to the high amount of shovelware populating the system. But does that make it a bad system? It got me thinking. What exactly makes a system good? Sounds to me like this would be a good opportunity for us to Think Deep. So Let’s, hmm?

“But The System Has So Many Bad Games”

The complaint I hear most often regarding the Wii has to do with the controls. Specifically, they don’t work. Publishers constantly release games that force the player to use either the Wiimote motion controls or even worse the Balance Board from Wii Fit that “works” about 25% of the time. This results in games that would otherwise end up being decent games turned into broken messes. It was a Godsend when Nintendo decided that Smash Bros Brawl would support GameCube controllers in addition to just about every other controller type they had. The complaint about controls is a valid one, but that doesn’t instantly mean the system is bad.

Right now we have the luxury of living in an age where there are three perfectly excellent systems to choose from. Even better is the effect the Internet has had on everything since reviews can come out before a game is even released, meaning that you know whether a game will be good or not. Think back to the time of the NES when the only system you could choose from was the NES. It wasn’t very simple to get reviews or news about specific games, so when you went to buy or rent a game, you did so almost entirely on the artwork and the description on the back of the box. How many NES games do you think were great? The NES was full of shovelware titles, as someone like the Angry Video Game Nerd can attest to, but I doubt anyone would ever call it a “bad system.”

Are you going to be the one to say the NES sucked? I don't think so.

Now we have the ability to know everything about a game before we even play it, plus there is an excess of reviewers out there contributing to the overall rating of a game (thankfully my silly little summaries aren’t counted in a game’s Metascore). The bad games get more press than they used to and the numbers we’re dealing with are heavily skewed. Simply put, the rating system isn’t perfect right now, but it does give us the ability to know more about our games in a way we didn’t have 20 years ago.

The Hardships of Luxury

So what does this mean for our friend the Wii? It means that everyone knows when a bad game comes out and gives the gaming community an opportunity to see the system’s shortcomings. The question remains though, “What makes a system good or bad?” Do bad games make a system bad? No, otherwise every system would be considered awful. As of now, all systems are roughly within the same general average game rating area between 65 and 75%, and that number is constantly shifting as new games come out. While the Wii may not be at the top of the list, it doesn’t mean it’s a crummy system.

The is the counter-argument for any Xbot speaking ill of the Wii.

Here’s the thing: People believe their favorite system is the best because it’s their favorite. What are your favorite games? If you love God of War and Metal Gear Solid, you probably believe that the PS3 is the best system and the other two are inferior. Huge on Halo and Gears of War? The 360 is clearly the best. Are you like me and love Mario and Zelda? How could the Wii not be the best system out right now? It’s all relative to what you like playing most.

To answer why I’m happy to see the Wii in first place right now, it all has to do with my favorite games. No, I don’t think the Wii is the best system out there, but I do consistently prefer it’s biggest and best games, such as Super Mario Galaxy, Twilight Princess, Metroid Prime 3, and especially Smash Bros Brawl. I’m ecstatic to hear that Nintendo’s doing so well because it means my favorite franchises will be around for a long time to come.

This is very much like the Console Wars of the early 90’s where it was either SNES or Genesis for the win. It didn’t matter what people said one way or the other about graphics or sound; it came down to whether you liked Sonic or Mario better and that was the decider. After the Genesis, Sega sort of lost its mind and ran everything that’s considered good about it into the ground. Sure, the Dreamcast was a nice glimmer, but it still failed due to Sega’s poor tactics in regards to marketing and just plain doing their fanbase justice. It’s only just now that they’ve announced Sonic 4, a game that fans have been telling them to make for over 10 years. I just can’t imagine the amount of agony a Sonic fan must have endured for over a decade, watching Mario fans get more or less exactly what they want while Sonic turns into a Werehog (which would mean “Man-hog” by the way).

Like him or not, this guy has ridiculous staying power.

The Year of The Usual Promises

2010 is promising to be a big one once again as Microsoft is releasing Project Natal and Sony is releasing whatever the heck its motion controller is called. If the Wii’s controls make it a bad system, why are its competitors, companies run by intelligent people, rushing to match the same “gimmick” that defines the system? Money, of course. The Wii has managed to bring in a share of the market that was previously untapped and created new gamers from the casual sector. If this means I have to deal with a few dozen shovelware titles so that I get a new Metroid this year, so be it.

It’s becoming very tiresome to hear every company or analyst decide that “2010 is the Year of the PS3” or the “Age of the Xbox” or whatever. Do systems ever have a year that is undeniably its year? Other than the Atari or the NES? And even if it has a good year, does it instantly make up for the previous years or any years to come? No, it’s just a gage for fans to based judgment off so that they can argue that their system is winning or losing or what have you. I love the Wii, but I’m currently playing tons of great games on the 360, and in a month I plan to spend an epic weekend with one of my best friends beating God of War III on the PS3. In the meantime, I still spend my nights playing my DS before bed.

So which system do I think is best? I couldn’t tell you. I can’t even decide which I enjoy playing the most. It comes down to my tastes at the time. I am plowing through game after game on the 360 because I missed out on a lot at the beginning of the console cycle, but I keep going back to my Wii to play Brawl every so often. Both systems have a valued place in my home, but I couldn’t tell you which is the better system. I think both have too many faults for me to consider either of them “the best,” but they’re nowhere close to “the worst.”

When Project Natal is released and has the typical smattering of titles built to demonstrate its capabilities and titles built to get money, will it ultimately decide the 360’s fate? No way. Fans will stick around and haters will claim the system is falling apart. It’s a cycle that will never end.

Has there ever been a system that you feel is perfect? For me, I was always happy with my GameCube. It was one of my favorite systems despite its lack of first-placeness. But what are your favorite systems and why? I loved my GameCube because I was addicted to the games and felt its titles were best suited for the sort of games I play. Still, that’s just me. I don’t think we’ll ever have a perfect system, but we can have systems that do what their fans need them to. Now it’s time to hear from the fans, so leave a comment about what makes a system good for you. Represent!

Overclocked Remix turned 10 just recently. Have you been listening?

You may not know it about me, but I actually think myself a pretty avid music lover. I just don’t listen to what most people listen to. What I listen to most of all are video game soundtracks, so when I want to up the stakes a bit I listen to video game remixes, and no one does it better than Overclocked Remix. OCRemix is the best site for video game music recompositions on the web, so I figured I’d share my love with the world in the form of a list. Problem is, they’ll be hitting their 2000th remix this year, and at least 500 of those remixes are in my constant play cycle. I couldn’t limit myself to a top 10, so I extended it to a top 15 list with two restraints: no two remixes by the same artist or of the same game. So here they are, my Top 15 OCRemixes.

15. Fear of the Flava by McVaffe:

A remix of the Secret of Mana main theme right out of the gate? Dang this list is gonna be good.

Just the fact that I’m starting with a Secret of Mana remix, STARTING, is saying something about these remixes. While McVaffe’s remix is excellent in of itself, it didn’t have a difficult task as Secret of Mana’s source music is stunning to say the least. McVaffe though has a number of great remixes on the site with a number of wonderful Tetris and Yoshi’s Island remixes to take note of. This remix keeps things fairly simple, but sometimes that’s all you need to do.

14. Turd Surfers by chumble spuzz:

Gotta show my love for Turtles In Time, yo.

I argued with myself about this one by artist chumble spuzz since I really love this remix, specifically the phenomenal guitar solo that kicks in late in the track. I would have placed it higher if I was just going for face-melting solos, but that alone isn’t enough to push it to the highest spots. Still, such a great remix of Sewer Surfin’ in Turtles in Time for the SNES, my favorite TMNT game, I couldn’t pass up.

13. Sonic Gargles With Garden Marbles by GuitarBizarre, Prince of Darkness:

A good game, a great remix.

Sonic the Hedgehog is a series with a strong emphasis on great music. The games on the Genesis even challenged the SNES for great old-time tunes. This team-up of GuitarBizarre and Prince of Darkness gets me every time as it takes Sonic 3’s Marble Garden Zone and puts it to some smooth melodies that managed to mellow out any bad day.

12. DeathontheSnowfield by AmIEviL:

Who hasn't wanted to remix Terra's Theme, honestly?

However, if you’d prefer to engross yourself in a bad mood, or at least the moody aspect of it, AmIEvil’s remix of Terra’s Theme from Final Fantasy VI manages to nearly bring me to tears. Terra’s Theme gets remixes all the time on OCRemix, but this one keeps it at a sadder, more emotional level that I can’t get enough of. Hey, music isn’t always supposed to get your jazzed, right? Besides, AmIEvil has plenty more good stuff to check out if this particular remix isn’t to your liking.

11. TurksInPursuit by DJ Orange:

There ware a lot to choose from in terms of FFVII remixes, so take that as a statement to judge with remix with.

This one’s just cool in every sense of the word. It was inevitable that Final Fantasy VII was going to show up here in some form, but how did a remix of the slums outdo Aeris’ Theme or One-Winged Angel? Take a listen and you might figure it out. One of the key reasons for my love of these remixes hinges on how much the source material is reimagined and DJ Orange seems to have that skill down for TurksInPursuit. Think mood music for this one and you’ll get why I love it.

10. Mamacitas in My Valley by Diggi Dis:

Pff, of course Ocarina of Time was showing up somewhere.

Another one of the most remixed tracks is Gerudo Valley from Ocarina of Time. Diggi Dis raised the bar for style in regards to the all-favorite track with a mix that plays like a good song to dance to. Heck, I even had this song playing during the reception at my wedding, an act that my wife didn’t argue with, if that gives you an idea of how great I think it sounds.

9. Jade Catacombs by bLiNd:

Definitely one of the best SNES games and full of stellar music.

Beyond bLiNd being an amazing remixer on the site, part of my inclusion of Jade Catacombs comes from the story behind the remix. Other remixers on the site found out that bLiNd was sick, so they made him a get-well album of Metroid-themed songs. The album itself is worth a listen, but after all that, bLiNd not only announced he was all better, he announced he was engaged, so he did his own remix for the get-well album and named it after his fiancé. Even if the remix wasn’t incredible, that’s an awesome story. In this case we get both.

8. Super Mario Bros 2 Insomnic by Insomnic:

Totally puts you in the mood for fun.

Despite my love of some remixes breaking conventions with the source, I’m also rather fond of remixes that take the heart and soul of the source and add tons of energy. That’s what Insomnic does with his remix of Super Mario Bros 2’s overworld theme. It’s fast, it’s peppy, and it’s a must-listen for any fans of cool techno music.

7. Bowser is Pissed by PriZm:

Rocking Bowser with the best of the best.

Oh my goodness, this is some great stuff. Take something as simple as the Castle BGM from Super Mario Bros and try to come up with something better than this remix here. It’s intense but gives a nice moment to breathe in the middle before attacking your ears with awesome at the end. I wish this would replace the actual music in all further re-releases of Super Mario Bros.

6. Triforce Majeure by Disco Dan:

More Zelda? Dang right.

I couldn’t include a list of the best from OCRemix and not include Disco Dan. He has a remix of Snakeman’s Theme from Mega Man 3 that’s to die for, but for this list, his best has to be Triforce Majeure from A Link to the Past, specifically the music from Hyrule Castle. The only word you can really use here is “Epic.” It’s long, but give it a listen and let it sink in for a moment or three. Then listen again and try not to envision how cool this would sound in a Legend of Zelda movie.

5. Dark Matter by PrototypeRaptor:

Also, go play this if you haven't already.

PrototypeRaptor nearly got on my list for his Star Fox remix but I had to choose between that and his remix of Miracle Matter from Kirby 64. No contest. I don’t know why Miracle Matter doesn’t get remixed over and over and especially why it doesn’t get mentioned as one of the best video game tracks ever as it is, according to me, the best boss theme music I’ve ever heard. Dark Matter is fight music, through and through.

4. BTMNTBAMLOL by Danimal Cannon, Kbart, Stemage:

The box art does this remix justice, not the other way 'round.

Yes! Too much greatness is crammed into one little remix, taking tracks from TMNT 3 on the NES and mixing in some other Turtle themes from here and there. What this all equals is one heck of a face-melting rock remix. The opening has become my default ringtone, and I challenge anyone to stay seated or refrain from cheering at about 3:50 or so. It has what I’ll go ahead and say is the most powerful moment in any of these songs with a tone shift towards Beyond Awesome.

3. Just a Little More (Prime Edit) by DarkeSword:

I will always pause fora second whenever I get to Phendrana Drifts, just to listen to the music.

My favorite video game song is undeniably Phendrana Drifts from Metroid Prime, so when I heard DarkeSword’s remix of said theme, I couldn’t help but love it, too, especially since he’s manage to keep the essence of the track but added just enough to make it better. The harp solo gets me every time and nearly makes me weep with joy. I love it that much.

2. Intense Color by SGX, sephfire:

Wait, what? Mario Paint had music?

Do you remember Mario Paint? Okay, try and think of the music in that. It’s calm and serene, right? Just some chill background music. SGX and sephfire managed to take this, and turn it into something too cool for words. What makes it even better is when you can definitely hear the source material in the track, but only for brief enough moments to make you go, “They were able to make this hardcore techno track from that?” So what could outdo a remix as skilled as that?

1. Chekan Winter by Prophecy:

It's gonna be cold, it's gonna be dark, and it's gonna last a lifetime.

It’d have to be something else to make the top of my list. Sure, remixing the Mario Paint music is one thing, but Chekan Winter comes from the Northern Hemispheres levels in Donkey Kong Country. You will not be able to recognize the remix as coming from this. I love songs that build slowly, leveling track after track on top of each other until they culminate in an explosion of Scrumtrilessence in the end. This is one such example of that happening. I could listen to this one over and over again without stopping, something I’ve done before and will do again. Hence, it’s my Number 1 OCRemix.

So have you listened to anything on OCRemix before? Do you have some favorites that I didn’t hit on? Remember, these are 15 from nearly 2000, so there are a lot more to cover. I’d like to hear what your favorites are and why, or even just who your favorite remixer is. And heck, don’t stop with commenting here. Head over to Overclocked Remix and show them some love as well. They certainly deserve it.

Every game should have the option to hug someone or something.

A Boy and His Blob was one of those games on the NES that seemed to be extremely loved in its own little niche way. I’m sad to say that I only played it once and only for a few minutes since I was clueless as to what to do. I knew that there was a boy and he had a blob that would follow him around and transform into things when fed jellybeans but that’s it. Now we get an update for the Nintendo Wii. Was it worth updating though? Really?

The answer is naturally yes, especially when you see how good the update looks. Just take a look at the images I’ve posted here. Go ahead, but don’t scroll down just yet or else you’ll give away the secret ending to the article. Maybe there is a monster at the end of this article, but don’t ruin the surprise.

Graphics Like Mom Used To Make

There should really be more hand-drawn art in video games.

Graphics are not usually a selling point for me if I hear that the game doesn’t have either a good enough story or set of controls to back it up, but A Boy and His Blob stands out as something that just looks too good for me to worry about semantics afterward. We’re talking hand-drawn artwork here. That is getting rare these days but it always pays off. Seriously, A Boy and His Blob is one of my votes for best looking Wii game.

I’m happy to say that while the graphics are good, the play control is also excellent. It’s important that the game controls well since you’ll be playing through 20 levels full of puzzles, with another 20 unlocked if you know how to find hidden treasure chests in each level. It may seem like a light game but you’ll get quite a lot out of it.

NES Tough Means It’s Probably Hard

Doesn't that cover just make you wish adventures happened to you, too?

You may also believe that the game is for kids but no matter how good you are at games, you’ll find yourself struggling in later levels. The difficulty gets hard, painfully so in places. Unfortunately the difficulty doesn’t necessarily come from having to figure out what to change Blob into as the game pretty much points out the optimal usage for him, so if you find a gap it’ll tell you, “Oh, he should be a rocket right now.” Thank you, but let me figure things out for myself.

Another great thing about A Boy and His Blob is the price tag. The game retails for $39.99, a whole $10 cheaper than most Wii games. That’s awesome and it just suggests this could be a great gift for the holidays. Go out and get this one for your kids. This is the sort of game we need to be encouraging kids to play instead of GTA or Halo.

Who's gonna make the list?

I can’t stop thinking about the Super Mario series of games no matter how hard I try (which isn’t very hard actually). I keep coming back to my favorites and remember what made me fall in love with the plumber in the first place. So I thought, “Hey, New Super Mario Bros Wii is out now and this week is Thanksgiving, so what better time for me to rattle off my favorite Mario enemies?” I instantly agreed with myself and began searching through the Mario database to remember each and every enemy Mario has ever faced. After searching I discovered I couldn’t limit myself to just 10, so here it is, my list of the 20 Greatest Mario Enemies.

20. Wiggler:

Right, like this guy's gonna harm me?

One of the best parts about the Mario games is the way enemies don’t always make a whole lot of sense. Take Wigglers for example. Initially they look like cute, happy caterpillars just boppin’ around, doin’ their own thing with a pretty flower on their head. But then you stomp on their flowers and they go nuts. Suddenly they freak out, turn red, and bum rush you. All because the pretty flower is now gone. You heartless monster.

19. Blargg:

That's my reaction to Blarggs, too.

Fun to say, more fun to pretend to be. I’m assuming a Blargg is a type of fire dragon thing as they live in lava, only to pop their eyes out and lazily dive at you with a “Blargg!” sort of sound. Take a second now and go find your sister (or brother if he’s been particularly evil to you lately). Hide somewhere and when they come by, jump out with a “BLARGG!” If that isn’t fun, I don’t know what is.

18. Fawful:

Always play your Mario & Luigi before bed.

Sometimes people just don’t heed my advice. If you don’t know who Fawful is, you’re probably not heeding it. Have you heeded? I bet not. Go play Mario & Luigi: Superstar Saga and you’ll know exactly who this little bean of hilarity is. Known for his catchphrase “I have fury!” Actually, this may be the proper response to “BLARGG!”

17. Dino Piranha:

That's it, I'm replaying Super Mario Galaxy this week.

Super Mario Galaxy did a lot right, but it didn’t add too many new enemies that stood out for me. It did however bring back a favorite of mine in this Petey Piranha upgrade. The Dino Piranha is like Petey Piranha on steroids, and while I don’t endorse the use of drugs other than Super Mushrooms and Fire Flowers, I do support the revamped primal-urges of the Dino Piranha, such as “Destroy!” and “BLARGG!”

16. Francis:

It's like they took my high school self and made a video game character out of him.

The Paper Mario games have a way of getting funnier and funnier with each new sequel. When I heard about Super Paper Mario, I wasn’t too enthused since it wasn’t going to be an RPG like its predecessors but rather a 2-D/3-D platformer. And then I got to the third world and encountered Francis the chameleon, an uber nerd. When Princess Peach attempts attacking him, he boots Swoon.exe, a program that’s primary function is to talk to girls. I think this quote says it all: “Booting up Swoon.exe! Activating Nerd2Babe interface mod with real-time wooing!” That’s priceless.

15. Kriffid:

Beware the deadly fish-bush!

You’re going to find a good handful of Super Mario RPG enemies showing up here, with the first being Kriffid, a bush-like thing. Or maybe a fish-like thing? I think it’s closer to a fish-bush actually. The first time I encountered one of these things I thought there was a mistake and the game didn’t load the proper enemy. Then the bush opened up and a fish enemy scuttled around and wasted my face using electrical attacks. I’ve been terrified of bushes ever since, a trait shared only by a few select individuals in history such as Moses.

14. Super Koopas:

More powerful than the Justice League.

“Why haven’t we seen Koopas yet?” Is that what you’re asking? Well, I thought about them and determined that Koopas kinda suck. Yes, I enjoy them and all, but what does it say about you when you get stomped on and then killed with your own shell? That’s like if I was punched, my shirt fell off, and then someone strangled me with my own shirt. Well, Super Koopas don’t have that problem and they don’t take guff from no Mario. They can fly and they do so in groups, making normal left-to-right gameplay a massive hazard of flying doom.

13. Ptooie:

This is why I don't travel.

Ptooies are cheaters, plain and simple. I first saw these in Super Mario Bros 3 and since the day I witnessed a Piranha Plant walking about outside a pipe, keeping a spiked-ball suspended merely by blowing, I called foul play. Something about that just never seemed right to me as I was just used to the idea of deadly plants emerging from usually safe plumbing. Now suddenly they could walk about and become massive annoyances. No, that’s just too much. Red Flag called on account of absurd.

12. Jinx:

The original Napoleon Complex.

Here’s another from Super Mario RPG, and while I love this enemy, you don’t technically have to fight him if you don’t want to or if you suck at the game. The picture there doesn’t really do him justice as this dojo master is roughly the size of Mario’s foot, yet can lay the smackdown like no body’s business. He’ll leap at you with a flying kick, jump behind you and explode your Achilles tendon, or just hit you with a giant bullet that comes from nowhere. Simply, this guy owns you.

11. The Koopalings:

Glad to see you back, but what took so long?

Well, they didn’t quite break the top 10, but they came close. Why don’t they make it higher? Well, they got overshadowed by Bowser Jr, that’s why. First seen in Super Mario Bros 3, each Koopaling had its own airship and my budding gaming skills were no match for their “Jump on me three times” defenses. They returned in Super Mario World to get beaten again, and once more in Mario & Luigi: Superstar Saga. Finally they get revived for New Super Mario Bros Wii and for that I couldn’t be happier. But still, I’ve got better enemies waiting just ahead.

10. Fuzzy:

Remember kids: Don't do drugs.

“Touch Fuzzy. Get Dizzy.” Simple words for a simple concept. Everyone that’s played Yoshi’s Island knows what a Fuzzy is. Think of them as our real-world equivalent of a kick to the head, or really cheap beer (I prefer the kick to the head). If Yoshi so much as brushes up against these little puffs the screen gets distorted and causes much difficulty with controls. All you can do is just sit and wait for the effects to wear off.

9. Angry Sun:

Why I don't leave my house when the sun's out.

Super Mario Bros 3 was a hard game because everything wanted you dead. Even the sun. Yes, the sun would scowl at you from the sky until it eventually couldn’t take any more and began dive-bombing every chance it got. And it wouldn’t even smile if it killed you, either. I remained angry. You’d go “Whoop! I died!” and fall off the screen, but the sun would still scowl like you’ve caused him far too much grief for your death to matter anymore. What did you do to him anyway? Did you murder the sun’s son in a previous game? Something to think about.

8. World 1-1 Goomba:

"AHHH Motherland!"

No other enemy on this list has as many kills racked up as this one simple murder machine. Goombas as a people are pitiful, stupid enemies that hobble back and forth, hoping you’ll step in front of them as they slowly bump into you. But this one lone solider stands as the very first enemy Mario encounters in Super Mario Bros and somehow year after year, new players pick up the controller unaware that they should jump over this stupid Goomba and instead suffer the ultimate fate. Even worse is when a seasoned player loses patience and rushes headfirst into death by accident while their friends shake their heads in shame. Yes, I’m speaking from experience.

7. Booster:

I wish I looked like this.

One of the most memorable characters from Super Mario RPG was this rough-faced scoundrel that goes by the name Booster. He has his own tower that he typically just plays around in while riding a train, but Princess Toadstool fell from the sky after the events at the beginning of the game and landed on his balcony. Therefore, he figures he should marry her since he’ll get a cake out of it. Pretty much, I sort of want to grow up to become this guy some day.

6. Pionpi:

These WILL kill you, no arguing.

Super Mario Land was always odd to me, since the English version didn’t change the Japanese enemies’ names. I always thought they should have renamed everything so you could describe them easier to your friends, since we did that anyway. “You know those Jumpy-Spiders?” “Oh, you mean Kumos?” “No, I mean Jumpy-Spiders, jerk.” By the time you get to the fourth world, which has a very distinctly “Chinese” vibe to it, you encounter enemies that look like Chinese people hopping around without much thought. They’re actually called “Pionpi” and are based off of ghouls known to Japanese people, but come on, they look just like evil Chinese people mindlessly hopping back and forth. Like I’m going to listen to Japanese developers when they says, “No seriously, we weren’t making fun of Chinese stereotypes or anything.” Don’t believe you. Plus, these enemies never die! They just get mad!

5. Boss Bass:

I know you've been eaten by one of these at least once.

BLARGG! Second only to that stupid World 1-1 Goomba in aggravating deaths, Boss Bass is the fish from Super Mario Bros 3 that swims around and hops every so often. If it catches you in its mouth, instant death. No chance to get out of it, you just die. You can kill these with a well-timed throw of a block or a shell, with a fireball, or even just grab a star and give the jerk a taste of his own medicine. But then he comes back! What the heck?! These should have been called “Blarggs” instead of those lava dragons.

4. The Rawk Hawk:

"Can you smell what the Rawk is cookin'?!"

Now we’re talking. “Are you ready to get RAWKED?!” Yes, I am ready. You have a brief stint as the Great Gonzales partway through Paper Mario: The Thousand-Year Door where you fight your way through the Glitz Pit to take on the champion. And who is the champion? A hawk that knows Lucha-style moves and spews catchphrases similar to Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson. If he’s losing he’ll even jump up to the rafters and shake down debris. I was almost sad to kick his butt.

3. The Koopa Bros:

They're the world's most fearsome fighting Koopas!

C’mon, like I’m not going to include the obvious Ninja Turtle reference? The Koopa Bros show up as the first real bosses of Paper Mario and do a fairly competent job of dealing some punishment should you not focus your attacks very well on stopping their ultimate attack of hopping into each other’s backs and launching a spinning tackle. Plus they get cool theme music to beat your face in. I really want to see these enemies come back but we haven’t seen a bit of them since the end of Paper Mario.

2. The Axem Rangers:

Go Go Axem Rangers!

First the Ninja Turtles, now Power Rangers? You bet your sweet bippy. My favorite enemies from Super Mario RPG came near the end but when they showed up I was totally blindsided. I got destroyed the first few times I tried fighting this hardcore team of Smithy’s most loyal but with enough practice I figured out the secret. However, no fight with them is ever simple since each member gets an attack and the Black Ranger attacks twice. They can scrape your sorry team in one move if you aren’t careful. And once you knock out all five, that’s it, right? Wrong! They get behind the Megazord head and fire the Breaker Beam at you, leaving you clinging for dear life.

So who can possibly beat super Koopas, Blarggs, giant fish, cheating plants, Chinese stereotypes, a Lucha chicken, the Ninja Turtles, and the Power Rangers? Oh, I think you know.

1. Giga Bowser:

"Please give me all your faces for I now own them!"

Like there was any doubt who was going to top this list? Bowser appears in just about every single Mario game and causes more than his share of chaos, but Bowser felt a little too simple to top the list. In comes Super Smash Bros Melee with a final boss battle against a Bowser reborn as Giga Bowser. Basically, take Bowser and increase his killing power, making him an unstoppable force of destruction. All he has to do is headbutt you and dark energy sparks from his noggin. Why? Who cares? Giga Bowser could take on every enemy on this list and not even lose a life, and that’s why he makes the top of the list.

Do you disagree with my list? I bet you probably do since everyone has his or her own favorites to talk about. So tell me about them with a comment or two. There are hundreds of enemies in the Mario universe and I only touched on 20. There’s plenty of room for your voice to get heard, so let’s hear it!

Even Mario takes it easy every so often. Shouldn't you?

Thanksgiving is a time of year when families get together and eat copious amounts of food, then struggle to breathe as they fall into a deep stupor on the couch. What better time than this to play video games? But don’t overdo it with something overly stimulating like Ninja Gaiden or Call of Duty. Nah, here’s a list of 10 games that you can basically shut your brain off and just play while you rest off that fifth helping of turkey.

Tetris:

For the NES, Game Boy, cell phone, and pretty much eveyrthing ever.

While Tetris is undisputedly the best puzzle game ever created (according to myself), it doesn’t require all too much thinking. Sure, you can definitely push yourself to crank up the high score, but really you don’t have to do a lot when you’re just cleaning house and keeping the game from ending. Just one row at a time, which gives you minimal points in the long run, but stretches play for quite a while. Plus, you get funky tunes to hum along with/doze to.

Final Fantasy VII:

Attack button, attack button, attack button, HEAL, attack button...

RPG’s are great for this day due to their main characteristic: Repetitive level grinding. Just about every RPG has a point where you’re encouraged to just sit and grind your way around the dungeon until you either get to the end or keep making your character stronger. Final Fantasy VII is great for that. The plot points are mostly incoherent next to the amount of random battles you encounter. Most any Final Fantasy game works perfect for the brain-off moments after the feast, but VII took things up a level with a story that you couldn’t understand even with the a good night’s rest and mounds of caffeine, so just shush and kill some lizards/spiders/robots/cottages.

Pokémon:

Hey fire newt, go attack that blue turtle thing. Sure, use Ember, I don't care.

Perhaps even better than the Final Fantasy games, the Pokémon series finds a niche in having no plot whatsoever but hundreds of creatures to obtain or evolve. And the only way to accomplish this is through hours of tedious battles. But hark! What’s that? You’re tired and just need an activity to do in between breathing and more breathing? Perfect time to train that Magikarp into a Gyarados or to go searching for all those legendary things or whatever. Just find some tall grass, walk in circles, and watch those levels crawl by.

Super Mario World:

Just going for a nice Sunday stroll here on my dinosaur...

The Mario games are good for a challenge most of the time, but something about Super Mario World just seems a bit more relaxed. It’s certainly no Sonic the Hedgehog in terms of “Oh look out for that thing at high speed!” Rather, Super Mario World allows you to take your time and savor the experience. There never seems like a huge rush to complete anything. Even if some levels get too difficult, there are other paths to take, assuming you know the secret exits. I’m not saying the game’s easy, I’m just saying it’s a whole lot easier than a lot of the Mario games out there.

Sim City:

You'd think that monster coming from the sea to destroy my city would panic me but it doesn't.

Doesn’t the concept of city planning just sound like a hoot and a holler? Well, Sim City puts you in the shoes of the mayor of a thriving town that you get to name (so usually named “Christopolis”). You decide where to build residential, commercial, and industrial districts, power plants, airports, roads, power lines, even parks. Then you can raise taxes, cut funds to police stations, and inevitably get impeached due to your rampant spending and pro-tornado attitude. And of course the game is awesome, so it has that going for it, too.

The Sims:

Kind of like your family's Thanksgiving get-togehter.

Where Sim City makes you a mayor, The Sims has you play caretaker for a family of idiots. You are in charge of building a house, getting the family jobs, telling them what to eat, and even when to go to the bathroom. They’re too stupid to do something as simple as go to sleep when they’re tired unless you remind them to do so. And somehow this is also fun to do, especially when you’re too tired to do much more than click around a computer screen. “Hey you there, go take a shower while I remain seated here in this comfy chair.” Just like God must do after He eats Thanksgiving dinner.

Wii Sports Bowling:

Not shown: Physical activity.

The Wii is primarily meant for “active” games, such as Wii Fit and Wii Sports. However, you can’t tell me in all good consciousness that Wii Sports Bowling is really considered “active” when you play it, unless you take the competition seriously against your family (which you should). Grab the controller, aim at the screen, and flick it to throw your ball. Did it hit any pins? Who cares, it’s not your turn anymore, so lay back down and think about having more mashed potatoes.

Donkey Kong Country:

Hey wait a minute, that's a gorilla, not a donkey!

Somehow the original Donkey Kong Country for the SNES got a bad rap for not aging well. I can’t say that I understand why that is, as the game is great, but it is fairly simple for the most part. Similar to Super Mario World, Donkey Kong Country rarely gets up to speeds above “gradual sashay.” It doesn’t even have a level timer to keep you moving like Mario does. The later levels can become a pain, but chances are you’ll have passed out by then or moved onto pumpkin pie or something simpler to deal with.

Mario Party (Any After 1):

What are they doing here? No clue, but it doesn't look hard, so go with it.

The Mario Party games are great, but be careful not to pop in the first one for the N64. I’ll argue that the first is the best, but anyone that’s played can tell you all about the number of times they’ve routered out the palm of their hand during the tug-o-war mini-game or any number of activities that require you to rotate the control stick at rapid speeds. Every game after the original eliminated the need to inflict actual damage on yourself, allowing you to just play through the levels without any hope of actually winning should the computer randomly decide it’s time to beat you. You can, however, just set the game to play itself for a bit while you just watch and say, “See Luigi winning there? That’s my character. I’m so good at this game. Yeah, I’ll take another sweet roll.”

Animal Crossing:

So many happy critters without a care in the world.

Finally we come to the great time killer that is Animal Crossing. I mentioned this one back during my Must-Own DS Games article (you read it, didn’t you?), but with three different games to choose from on either the GameCube, the DS, or the Wii, there’s an option for most everyone to try out. All you do is wander around your town helping your neighbors (who are animals by the way), do random tasks like return a book to a sheep or get a shirt back from a dog. You can also go around planting trees, fishing, catching bugs, pulling weeds (gotta keep your town looking nice after all), and selling seashells to that thieving raccoon Tom Nook. You Farmvillers, I’m looking at you. This game is just like Farmville but with more talking animals and less actual thinking.

So what games do you play when you’re looking to relax after Thurkeyday? I know there are some huge ones, like World of Warcraft, but I want to know what you’d pop in your gaming system to take the edge off. So let me know with a comment or two. Couldn’t hurt, right?