10. Triceraton:

A space triceratops? Oh boy, this is gonna be a good lsit!

An anthropomorphized triceratops is pretty cool, but give him some powerful looking blasters and metallic body armor and we’re set for a winner. I had a Triceraton in my collection of action figures and found it to be a perfect villain character since it looked tough and could fling Turtle figures using its horns. Also, anyone who read the original Mirage Comics run of TMNT can attest to how brutal the Triceratons can be, so what better foe for the Turtles to battle? Also, you could pop off his tail, leading to some epic battle wounds. Sold.

9. Hothead:

Why don't we get this amount of detail on kids toys anymore?

I’d never heard of Hothead until Tournament Fighters for the NES, a staggeringly bad fighter with pitiful few fighters and terrible controls. Of the seven fighters, one was Hothead, a dragon. I was never lucky enough to get the Hothead action figure as a kid, but just look at him! It’s a dragon action figure! That’s sweet! And from the looks of it he’s a shogun-style dragon, giving him a classy quality. This is a figure that could work as both a friend or a foe, or even neither, making it versatile. Really though, any figure could go either way, and that’s what made these Also Rans so needed.

8. Doctor El:

Ah yeah, let's hear it for crazy ideas turned into great toys!

We jump from a dragon to an elephant? Yup, and he’s a witch doctor at that. Late in the action figure line was a breeding ground for some truly bizarre additions to the Turtle clan, allowing something as strange but perfect as Doctor El here. It’s the concept here that sells me on the figure, as a witch doctor is a unique character to throw into the mix of already strange characters. Now I had a reason to take Safari Mike into the jungles, or more specifically, I had either an ally or an enemy for him to fight once he got there. Plus, just look at that headdress. Pure win.

7. Monty Moose:

I would totally join the Mounties if Monty was real.

Like the Triceraton before him, Monty Moose was a beast of a figure with antlers. True, seeing a moose dressed as one of the Mounties is incredibly silly, but it resulted in an action figure with vibrant colors and striking features, so I was totally okay with it. Besides, a moose was absolutely not the first option you’d think of for new animals to mutate, so having one appear and be excellent was a treat. Now the mountain-related missions had a perfect addition to the cast, and with action figures, more is always better, no matter how silly the combination.

6. Ray Fillet:

He's like a manta super hero!

Oh yeah, this guy was one of my favorites as a kid. Let’s begin with the name as a starting point for why. Just say “Ray Fillet” a few times. Doesn’t it feel good to say? Okay, maybe just me as a kid, but then comes the second aspect of the figure: He’s a manta ray and therefore has something resembling wings. Sure, mantas are most at home in water, but I didn’t let that stop me from saying Ray could glide through the air on occasion. I even had a Turtles book with this side character appearing, and it was one of my favorite books just because I hardly ever saw the other characters appear, so it was always a treat when they did.

Yet another character who could have survived on his own.

5. Mondo Gecko:

This epitomizes the 90's.

Skateboards! Yes! The majority of my plotlines revolved around Mike and his trusty sidekick, Mondo Gecko, fighting the Foot Clan all by themselves and foiling Shredder without much trouble. The Mondo/Mike team-up made so much sense to me back then and just as much sense to me now seeing as how Mondo appears very much like the outward appearance of Mike’s personality, assuming Mike was a gecko instead of a turtle. Mondo would stand atop his skateboard and cruise around, even gaining flight when it felt like the right thing to do. I have pictures somewhere of me adding Mondo Gecko to Turtle scenes, purely because I considered him the Fifth Turtle instead of that lame Venus chick that showed up in The Next Mutation.

4. Usagi Yojimbo:

Go read Usagi's original comics! They're just as good as TMNT comics!

If you haven’t read any Usagi Yojimbo by Stan Saki, go rectify this error right now. You’ll see a Comic Book Club about the series soon, but for now, SAMURAI RABBIT! Usagi Yojimbo is what makes the Turtle action figures so great, allowing for a crossover to happen mid-comics and then yield wonderful action figures as a result. Usagi is a ronin who travels the land kicking all of the butts with samurai skills, and here is no different. It really is tough to think of something cooler than a samurai rabbit. How can that be topped?

3. Space Usagi:

"AHH! I LOVE MY LIFE!" -Childhood Chris

How about a SPACE SAMURAI RABBIT?! Once I got Space Usagi I felt that Shredder was no longer fit to be an ultimate villain character, at least not while Space Usagi upstaged him in dramatic capes and helmets. He even came with a carrot gun. That’s just- there are no words for how great that is. I’d spend hours just looking over the standard Usagi and then to the space version, noticing the differences and similarities. Pretty much this was just a reskinning of the other version but I didn’t care, Space Usagi was radical.

2. Fugitoid:

The most versatile robot this side of Rosie.

But then along came a robot with attachments galore. Fugitoid first appeared in the comics alongside the Triceratons as an intergalactic fugitive on the run for…something or another, I forget what. In my day-to-day plots, Fugitoid was just a seriously cool robot with a chest that opened up, allowing you to plug in a blaster to the open chest cavity. In fact, you could place the special chest blaster in the chest, plug in his other accessories to the pegs jutting from his arms and legs, and still allow him to hold a space pistol. He also moved unlike any other figures I owned, making him feel special for some reason. But even Fugtitoid couldn’t quite live up to the single greatest figure ever created in the Ninja Turtle toy line.

1. Ace Duck:

Seriously, U of O should drop Donald and use this as their mascot.

He’s a duck. With a bomber’s jacket. And a removable pilot’s hat. And a revolver. And a belt with egg grenades. And he has wings. WINGS. What have I said about action figures that can fly? I hate heights, but I could never get enough of toys that I could make fly using just minimal effort via imagination. Ace Duck looks like he should have had his own comic series, TV show, and action figure line. I want to know more about this character. I only saw him once in the cartoon, and that shot was little more than a TV cameo. I wanted more! But sadly, I’d never get more, save for the adventures I invented in my bedroom. Ace Duck gets my seal of approval for Best Action Figure Ever.

See how awesome Ace Duck can be with a little imagination?

So which figures did I leave out? Did you have some favorites from the classic toy line that you played with over and over again? What about Genghis Frog? Or Metalhead? How about Wingnut? Tell me your favorites. In the meantime, I think it’s about high time Ace Duck flies again. Away I go!

Want more articles about action figures? Check these out:

-The Toys Are Back In Town Yet Again: Toy Story 3 Toys

-I Am Still Iron Man: Iron Man 2 Toys

-Creating My Own Sagas: Dragonball Z Action Figures

Chris’ Top Ten Favorite Video Game Soundtracks:

The very first of October began with a continuation of my previous lists regarding video game music. This time I went even broader and ranked my favorite soundtracks in video games. and oddly enough, it somehow coincided with an interview Kyle and I did with Daniel Floyd and James Portnow.

Gus’ Top 10 DBZ Relationships:

Because who can ever get enough Dragonball Z?

We were treated to a Week of Gus with a three-part Top 10 List involving Dragonball Z, one of my favorite subjects. In classic Gus fashion, his article was too long to post in a single day, so it was broken into three parts. It’s really a creative read, so go look into it if you want more DBZ-related goodness.

Just Stay Dead: A Review of Dead Rising 2:

Jumping into the busy game-release month, I took on the task of reviewing Dead Rising 2. In a nutshell, it’s better than the first game, but if you hated the first game, you’ll hate this one, too.

A Miserable Pile of Secrets: A Review of Castlevania: Lords of Shadow:

Next up, the new 3D Castlevania game. I really wanted to play it, but a lot of reviewers have complained about poor cameras and downright bad level design. Still, Patrick Stewart as a voice actor hasn’t steered me wrong yet.

Call of D-Oops, I Mean A Review of Medal of Honor:

I guess The Dude is into modern warfare now. Cool.

One of the largest titles to release in October, Medal of Honor, turns out to be exactly what we thought it’d be: A totally decent game that you won’t remember by this time next year. We also learn that for some reason, because I’m unprofessional, I eat crap sandwiches. Learn something new every day I suppose.

Monkey’s Life-Changing Trip: A Review of Enslaved: Odyssey To The West:

Gus comes back and reviews a game I honestly wasn’t paying attention to, but now really want to own: Enslaved: Odyssey To The West. Turns out it’s an awesome game that everyone should play and I want it for Christmas.

Chris’ Ten Favorite Video Game Trilogies:

Because I can never get enough lists, I give a rundown of ten video game series that stand out as examples of trilogies that don’t fail at any step. And then Gus harangues me for not picking some other choices. Thus is life.

Bad Games That Should Have Been Great: Fable II:

I hated Fable II. I thought it was a terrible game. So much so in fact that I decided to write a lengthy rant to just that effect. Even so, I held myself back from mentioning the shimmering trail of failure, the annoying gargoyles, or utter uselessness of doing anything in the game. It’s one of my favorite articles though, so please do read it.

Yet Another Pokemon Black & White Preview:

New Pokemon, but plot? Not so much.

Because just one preview isn’t enough, I do a second one. Pokemon Black & White Versions have now been out in Japan long enough to know everything about them, so I was capable of judging the game in a more in-depth manner. Read on to see what you can expect from the new adventure like the old adventures.

10 Awesome Ninja Turtle Action Figure Outfits:

Finally following up my first TMNT action figure list for over a year ago, I dive into a listing of ten really awesome Ninja Turtle action figures. I’m always into writing about Ninja Turtles, so read it if you are, too.

Forget-Me-Nots: Halloween-Turned-Toys!

Kyle returns at last with a new article, this month covering some of the perks of Halloween costumes: The accessories. He highlights a few choices of Halloween props that become excellent toys year-round, so give it a read.

And that’s all we saw in October. What’s up for November? Well, a review of Fable III is up early, as well as a list from Gus. Later we’ll have another edition of Bad Games That Should Have Been Great regarding Star Fox Adventures, a list of bad things comics do, Tips From a Grandmaster on Super Mario Bros 3, and who knows what else! Tune in every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for new articles because you never really know what gold we’ll farm next.

Infinite articulation or zero? Time to Think Deep.

It’s been a few weeks since I Thunk Deep, so it seems about right to try my hand and brain at something a bit new and completely different than the last Let’s Think Deep article. As you may recall, last time was an elementary foray into quantum physics.

This time I’ve been thinking more about action figures and exactly what about them makes them so wonderful. Generally you’ll hear the phrase “points of articulation” thrown around like it has some sort of inherent meaning. But hey, does it? How many points of articulation does an action figure need? Can you have too many? Let’s Think Deep, shall we?

A Trip Down Memory Lane

When I was a kid (it really wasn’t all too long ago, assuming I ever stopped being one), I wasn’t all too concerned about how pose-able my figures were. I had my Ninja Turtles, some G.I. Joes, and a random assortment of toys from everywhere. For the longest time things were good. I didn’t have any sort of rules for playing in terms of what could and could not happen. If I wanted something to fly, then sure, it could fly. I was under the concept that any of my figures could gain flight whenever they put their arms up, though that was only during specific plotlines or if they had trained to do it and such. Anyway, I’m on a random tangent there. Let’s get back to thinking deep.

Very few points of articulation, but so cool. Why was that?

The point I was going toward is that posing my toys was never very important. Heck, even having them stand up wasn’t required most of the time, as usually they’d just be lying down when they weren’t in my hands. Besides, it’s pretty difficult to make an action figure stand up on pillows or a mattress. It was very rare when I’d throw a fit about one of my figures failing to stand up when I wanted it do, and even less when they couldn’t bend to my needs. I controlled them well enough, so what more could I ask for?

Bust A Move

Well, after a while I demanded a bit more move-ability from my “actors” so that they could pull off more complicated actions and illicit slightly more emotion in dramatic scenes (“But Goku, Shredder just killed Spiderman! We can’t let him get away with this!”). I found myself wanting a few basic points of articulation (oh, and so there’s no confusion here, “articulation” relates to any place on the action figure that can bend and move). Here’s what I needed to be happy: The arms needed to move up and down and bend at the elbow, the hand needed to be capable of gripping a weapon or item, the head needed to be capable of turning left and right, and the legs needed to move at both the knees and the hip. That was the standard, though I later started to refine my needs further.

Suddenly just up and down wasn’t enough for my arms and legs. I wanted them to be on a ball-joint so that there was full range of mobility when arms and legs met with the torso piece. Also, I wanted a swivel at the waist so the legs could turn in a separate direction from the arms for more dramatic poses. As of now I like to have the head and chest on a ball-joint, feet to be on ball-joints as well, and hands capable of rotating at the wrist and elbows. All of a sudden I was demanding a lot, but it wasn’t to last.

This was my absolute favorite action figure ever. It starred in more adventures than I care to remember.

I got into the Marvel Legends line of action figures and suddenly I discovered that articulation looked somewhat ridiculous when applied to some characters. I got a Daredevil action figure that could move at just about every point that you’d think a person could move a thing, which was a selling point for me when I bought it. But when I got it home things didn’t seem so great. He looked absurd being able to twist around to any pose I wanted. Nothing looked natural for him, no matter what I did. Part of this problem may have been that his limbs were on the small side and thus the awkwardness of him stood out all the more. I later got a Beast figure from the Marvel Legends line and found him to look better, but still, something about the crazy amount of articulation messed with me.

It got me thinking more about what I really wanted. I think it came down to what I needed the figure to do. When I was a kid I got a toy from the movie Small Soldiers, which if you remember correctly is about toys that are implanted with computer chips and become sentient. I saw that the toy has knee and elbow joints on him, so I bought it thinking the toy would be just as cool as I remember it being in the movie, (though I was aware it wouldn’t move on its own). When I got it home and out of its wrapping I made a startling discovery: The articulation wasn’t real. The knee and elbow joints were only a decoration indented in the plastic since the toys in the movie looked like that. I felt pretty ripped-off, but whatever, I had a new toy. His arms and legs still moved, but they couldn’t bend. He was also taller than my other toys, so all of this combined to mean that he was a villain that had very little brainpower but was incredibly strong and deadly. I was forced to adapt my needs to fit him into my scope of fun. I never could have any real fun with my Daredevil action figure though.

Where does the line get drawn? What do toy companies consider articulation? A classic Ninja Turtle action figure has seven points of articulation according to my count (arms, wrists, legs, and head), whereas a G.I. Joe has twelve (arms, elbows, wrists, head, waist, legs, and knees). Most of my Dragonball Z figures had between five and fifteen points, but my plastic army men had zero. What constitutes one point of articulation anyway? Does a pivot joint count as multiple if it can move up and down and side to side? If so, does Stretch Armstrong have infinite points of articulation, or just one big point? At what point does the whole concept of articulation break down?

And why exactly do we want our toys to articulate anyway? What’s the need? Part of it is to pose the figure in a stance, though part is to recreate a specific motion that the character may be known for. If you have a Goku action figure, you probably want it to be capable of posing in the Kamehameha stance (hands cupped together off to one side before forcing both hands forward). However, of all the Goku action figures I had, not a one was capable of replicating that pose. Not even anything close to that stance, either. Somehow I had G.I. Joes that could do Kamehamehas but not the actual character known for doing the attack. I also had a bunch of Pokemon figures that were literally chunks of plastic, meaning they couldn’t move whatsoever. That didn’t stop me from having Pokemon battles with each and every one, somehow replicating the hundreds of attacks from the video games using a large amount of imagination and learning to settle at that.

I’m not sure if we can ever really get action figures to a point where they can pose in all the ways we’d like them to. The human body is a miracle of function, whereas an action figure with a chest joint is a revolution in articulation. The best I can do is decide what I do and don’t want in my toy. I don’t need finger and toe joints on action figures, but I do need the head and neck capable of looking upward. I don’t need the knee joint to actually be a kneecap connecting two joints together, but I do want the foot to be able to bend up and down at the ankle. I’m very picky at this point, but I know I’m not the only one, otherwise we wouldn’t have deluxe versions of action figures costing more than the regular versions that can hardly move at all.

So where does it end? Where does it start for that matter? What do you want to see an action figure do and what could you do without? Time for you to leave a comment and let me know.

Mutagen Man just barely didn't make the cut. So who did?

A while back I did an article about my favorite action figures of all time: Ninja Turtles. I hardly scratched the surface regarding what they did with the Turtles. Some of the toy line saw awesome Turtles. And then there are these, the 10 Most Ridiculous Ninja Turtle Action Figures.

10. Sergeant Bananas:

This gorilla is actually a ranking officer. Note the banana gun, as if you didn't expect that.

When the Ninja Turtles were hitting their peak, every year saw new figures added. But for the most part we weren’t just getting the same characters in different outfits. We actually saw a lot of new characters added purely for the toy line. Sergeant Bananas is one such example. Now there are so very many mutated animals, like a giraffe that plays basketball or an elephant witch doctor, but what sets Sergeant Bananas apart is his blatantly unoriginal name. He’s a gorilla that also happens to be in the army. “Meh, let’s call him Sergeant Bananas.” This is about as normal as things stay.

9. Muckman:

Take notice of the clothes pin on his nose. He's so disgusting he can't stand himself.

Muckman is described as “Tolerating the Turtles,” which sounds like he’s just kinda there most of the time. He’s basically a rotting garbage man and he reminds me a whole lot of the Toxic Avengers. I wouldn’t be surprised if they intended a Ninja Turtles/Toxic Avengers crossover that never went through. Nothing sounds cooler than playing with a compost heap action figure, right?

8. Dwarf Don:

If you ever wanted a Ninja Turtle with a beard, bam, wish granted.

There were a few figures made for a set of I suppose you could say “Barbaric” Ninja Turtles with Leo, Bebop, and Rocksteady all being barbarian warriors of some sort. However, Donatello got the short end of the stick and was cast as the dwarf. It’s strange because I remember there being a mini-comic packed in with this figure that set up a story that included Mike as a knight, but there was no Knight Michelangelo for some reason. I was always disappointed by that.

7. Spock Don:

Technically First Officer Donatello, but you know better.

Yes, there was a Star Trek/Ninja Turtles crossover toy line with the four turtles dressed as the main four characters from Star Trek. Odd that they didn’t have Shredder dressed as a Klingon or something, but no matter. I could include all four of the Star Trek Turtles here, but just seeing Donatello with Vulcan ears puts things over the top.

6. The Mutant Raph:

Of course he's a mutant! It's the second word in TMNT!

For a few years there were also a bunch of crossover figures with Ninja Turtles and Universal Studios Monsters. Some of them were really cool looking, like the Swamp Thing Leo, but something about The Mutant Raph was overly silly. I was always annoyed because he had some cool accessories but his claws didn’t hold them very well, so they’d just sort of slip around in his grip. Regardless, he was still a fairly cool action figure, but that’s only because any figure with claws was considered cool.

5. Tie: Killer Bee/Needle Nose:

Bee with a chainsaw...

...or mosquito with exhaust pipes? Too tough to call.

I can’t decide here which is more ridiculous. On one hand the Foot Clan has a giant bee with a chainsaw and a seat for a Foot Soldier to hitch a ride. So what’s the Turtles’ answer to a giant bee? A giant mosquito, apparently. Just the thought of a mosquito that large freaks me out to no end. What if Shredder could manufacture thousands of these giant bugs? Why wouldn’t he do that all the time? Even weirder, Needle Nose has a windshield to protect the Turtles from I’m assuming gunfire and smaller bugs splattering them in the face. Something about that just seems wrong.

4. Crazy Clown Mike:

Sure, because we needed a mutant ninja clown at some point.

Ninja Turtles are cool. Clowns are not cool. So when you mix the two, which attribute shines through more? Well, in this case the clown half is more apparent, making this one strange thing to see. If you got this one as a gift (and I did), how did you play with him? Did he attack the Foot Clan with his arsenal of balloons and a pie? Oh, and don’t forget his legs extended as well. I’d think Shredder would just be terrified of this one. A clown ninja does have a scary factor to deal with.

3. Bandito-Bashin’ Mike:

Because all Mexican stereotypes have little cactus buddies.

Okay, Ninja Turtles were putting themselves in any manner of themed costumes, with the two biggest being military garb and athletic uniforms. But then along came the Wacky Wild West line with Donatello the cowboy, Leonardo the Indian chief, Raphael the frontier scout, and Michelangelo the…bandito-basher, whatever that is. The amount of racism here is just over-the-top.  He’s obvious a Mexican stereotype. He even has a knife made from a chili pepper. His weapon is a chili knife! What the heck?! There’s no way this would fly these days.

2. Farmer Don:

Forget the Foot Clan! What about the corn?!

I had Farmer Mike who came with a tractor, a shovel, and a pitchfork. I liked him a lot, but I had no clue there was a Farmer Don as well. Let me tell you, Farmer Don made Farmer Mike look awesome. That should be enough to tell you how absurd this action figure is. Donatello even has a corn-cob pipe in his mouth and a crow with a wife-beater sitting on his tractor. There are no words. And this is only number two. So what’s the most ridiculous Ninja Turtle action figure?

1. My First TMNT:

AHHH!!!

The product description explains that the doll is filled with warm water to make it feel “alive.” Action figures are supposed to be cool representations of boyhood fantasies. They should have weapons and vehicles and general chaos surrounding their features. “Warm” and “wiggly” are not adjectives I would use to pitch an action figure to kids unless the action figure is some sort of worm or snake. Just the thought of bathing Raphael is creepy on levels I’m not ready to deal with quite yet and it tops my list for most ridiculous.

So that’s my list. Did you see some of your favorite Ninja Turtle actions figures up there or do you think I missed some? Let me know with a comment or two. There’s also a good chance I’ll give a run-down of the 10 coolest Ninja Turtle action figures, but who knows?