As I’ve mentioned before, the Mattel, Inc. v. MGA Entertainment battle for custody over the line of Bratz dolls, which started in 2005, is now back in federal court this month- and weirder than ever. On January 18, arguments resumed for both sides in Orange County. But that’s just the start. When you actually dig into the case, the official court papers become more and more inexplicable- something reading more like a concoction from Monty Python or a madhouse spy novel than a respectable court of law.

How to sum this madness up in a way that everyone can follow? The gist of the case is this: Mattel employed a designer named Carter Bryant to work on some clothing designs for Barbie dolls. Around 2000, while he was working for Mattel, he was also whipping up a prototype doll on the side- the first prototype of what would eventually become the Bratz figure. Mattel claims that because the company employed him at the time, anything that he developed also belonged to the company, and produced a signed agreement to this effect. Open and shut, right?

In this corner: the Bratz

Not so fast, that’s only the start.

Bryant showed his designs for Bratz to Veronica Marlow, another freelance designer, in Mattel’s parking lot. A few months later Marlow was working for MGA and proved to be the connection point between Bryant and MGA. Pretty soon he was taking phone calls from MGA at his Mattel desk, and according to depositions, he used discarded Mattel doll parts to create the first prototype Bratz figure. He bought thongs and bikinis at Hot Topic to get ideas for dressing the dolls.

Mattel only found out what Bryant was up to because someone snitched- the company received an anonymous letter in 2002 tipping them off to Bryant’s activities. Mattel’s in-house response was to create a series of hyperbolic emails and memos within the company and to start investigating key figures within their own organization. PowerPoints and e-mails around this time claim “the house is on fire” and that fixing it would require “grenades to be launched.” Words like “fight fire with fire” and “Barbie genocide” were getting thrown around in memos, and that Barbie needed to become “aggressive, revolutionary and ruthless” to survive the 2004 market.

And in this corner: Barbie. Not shown: genocide.

Mattel accused a number of ex-employees who defected to MGA of RICO-level conspiracy and fraud, citing three executives at Mattel Mexico, the Canadian director of sales for Mattel Girls, and Ron Brawer, the SVP of the US division – of stealing confidential file on USB drives and then taking that information to their new employer. When Mattel attempted to sue Brawer for this action in 2004, the case was thrown out by Los Angeles Superior Court, even though it was established that Brawer made telephone calls to MGA within hours of Mattel company planning meetings and Mattel was having Brawer’s children videotaped. They also had MGA’s president, Julian Larian, and even the names of his children and synagogue, investigated. This came to light in motions filed in California in 2007. (According to the new trial lawyer for Mattel, this is all perfectly normal industry behavior, apparently.)

The original judge on the MGA case, Stephen Larson, ruled in favor of Mattel to the extreme – MGA were forbidden to do anything with the Bratz line and all rights reverted to Mattel. However, Judge Kozinski of the 9th Circuit Court of Appeals – yes, that 9th – scathingly reversed this ruling in totality. And he did it while citing Twilight, True Blood, The Simpsons, Betty Boop, and anime in the published decision. I’m not even kidding about this.

I would buy the heck out of a Judge Kozinski figure.

So Mattel first got it all, then lost everything. Now the companies are back in court with the fireworks already flying. A bewildering exchange of arguments and hostilities have already been thrown with MGA claiming that Mattel has engaged in RICO conspiracies with its team of lawyers, Quinn Emanuel Urquhart and Sullivan. MGA is also defending itself against a separate lawsuit from its own prior defense team, O’Melveny and Myers, who are claiming the company owes them millions for their services. MGA countersued them for malpractice. And MGA’s current team, Orrick, Herrington and Sutcliffe, are trying to withdraw from the case – but the new overseeing judge, Judge Carter, won’t let them because it will disrupt trial schedules- and the 9th Circuit has affirmed this decision. MGA feels Orrick has insufficient trial experience, to which Mattel publicly scoffed that “It would be unprecedented to force a district court to continue a trial because a party suddenly decides, right before trial, that its longtime counsel (consisting of dozens of lawyers at a respected firm) isn’t good enough anymore.”

Mattel also intends to argue via forensics that the paper used by Bryant to do his original sketches was paper that came from a Mattel notebook in 1999. Seriously.

Mattel company notebook.

Meanwhile, Barbie (remember Barbie? This is an article about Barbie dolls.) and Ken’s “relationship” is suddenly in the media as the Ken doll has just had its 50th “birthday”. The media has jumped on this in all sorts of strange and bizarre ways, and is treating the fictional plastic toy couple as if they were real and subject to all the same forms of celebrity gossip as real, living flesh and blood people.

In a strange but arguably inspired social networking ad campaign, Mattel, which broke up the iconic toy couple two days before Valentine’s Day in 2004 – at the same time as Barbie was being told to become “aggressive and revolutionary” behind the scenes in those infamous memos – is now trying to get them back together again. Press releases have already hit on CNN, CNBC, and in disguised forms on Twitter, Facebook (of course Barbie and Ken have their own “official” Facebook pages) and YouTube. Elle Girl Magazine is promoting a Valentine’s Day giveaway of Ken dolls, which ends February 11. Mattel has also bought physical billboards, which should be appearing in Los Angeles, and possibly other major cities, in the next few weeks. They’ll say things like “Barbie, we may be plastic, but our love is real.”

Not shown: Back of shirt, which reads “For Sale.”

All of this to build up a new Ken figure, “Sweet Talkin’ Ken”, which can record up to five seconds of audio and then play it back at different pitches. He’s described as “the perfect boyfriend who says whatever you want him to say”, and wears a shirt that says “the perfect boyfriend” in ten languages. I can’t figure out if this is actually reverse sexism incarnate or just normal sexism taken to hilarious extremes.

Anyway, Amazon.com claims the figure is already discontinued. So much for the perfect man.

Cassandra writes about media and is developing some original SF works at cassandrapoe.com. She traded in Barbies for Transformers in 1986 and never looked back.

Want more articles on classic toys? Check these out:

-Guys and Dolls: A Male’s Retrospective on Barbie

-Forget-Me-Nots: Mutating Michelangelo

-The Glory of G.I. Joes: A Retrospective

Lego lost its bid to make the iconic brick shape of its products a trademarked-protected design.  According to ToyNews,

The ruling rejected Lego’s claims that its bricks have special chacteristics that set them apart and ruled that Lego’s two rows of studs on top of the brick performed a utilitarian function and were not ‘for identification purposes in the trademark sense.’

This claim has become increasingly important for Lego as other markets have grown up around the classic look of the plastic building blocks.  For example, this MP3 player by HOMADE is styled to look like blocks in order to attract the youngest of the technological age.

We agree with the ruling’s sentiment that functional designs for stackable blocks should not be the intellectual property of only one toy producer.  It seems that Lego is forgetting its own history – after all, the design of LEGO bricks is based on the design of Kiddicraft’s “Self-Locking Bricks,” which were sold in the UK up until the 1940.

It seems that LEGO may also have forgotten the sentiment behind its generations, too.  The term “Lego” is a contraction of the Dutch phrase “LEg GOdt” which means, “Play Well.”  Building blocks are a great toys for kids of all ages, and the right to “own” the simple mechanisms behind building blocks in simply nonsensical… LEGO should remember how to share.

The certification program would combine three main elements. First, all new toy designs would have to undergo a risk analysis to identify potential safety concerns as early as possible. Secondly, all toy manufacturers would have to undergo reviews of their factories to ensure good manufacturing practices. Lastly, samples of all toys would be taken to make sure that the toys meet industry and government standards for safety.

The program would apply to all toys sold in the United States, regardless of their place of manufacture. After being certified safe by the American national Standards Institute, the toys would be given a toy safety mark. This mark would assure that the product has undergone all the checks required by the certification program.

The program, however, will not be in place until Christmas 2008, and manufacturers are looking for ways to increase consumer confidence in the meantime, especially for this holiday season. Disney has begun testing samples of its toys, both those already on shelves and those scheduled for release. Toys R Us has begun spot checking the toys in its stores and is now increasing the number of these checks on every manufacturer.

Testing is not currently required for toys sold in the United States, though a mark of certification is mandatory in Europe. The Toy Industry Association believes that this program will allow parents to have confidence in the products they buy for their children.

– Transformers Movie Deluxe Figures—These action figures, based on the recent blockbuster hit, transform from Autobots and Decepticons into extreme cars and trucks. The most popular figure is Bumblebee, the star transformer of the movie, who transforms into a yellow 1974 Camaro.

– Rubik’s Revolution—This electronic update of the classic Rubik’s Cube features six games that can be played individually or in groups. The game features lights and sound, and allows the player to unlock new levels and games.

– Ripstik—The Ripstik is a totally new wheeled vehicle, that combines the carving motion of surfing or snowboarding with the wheels and deck of a skateboard. The deck is split in the middle and pivots, so that the rider can handle better and accelerate without pushing off the ground.

- Hannah Montana—Hannah Montana is a Disney character who is an ordinary schoolgirl by day and pop superstar by night. Her show and movie have been extremely popular, leading to the release of dolls and accessories, tooy guitars, lunch boxes, bags, and even her own version of UNO.

- Indiana Jones—This summer’s release of the latest Indiana Jones movie has spawned a whole new generation of toys. Most popular are Indiana Jones LEGO sets, ranging from the River Chase set to the Jungle Duel set. Hasbro’s Electronic Sound FX Whip is also popular.

– U Command Wall-e—Based on the animated movie, this 8” x 13.8” x 11” robot has realistic expressions, light-up eyes, and convincing sound effects. The programmable remote control can execute over 1000 action combinations, and the robot has real tread motion.

Click here for information on the most popular toys in the world.

Actually, many parents would be surprised to learn that some of the most popular toys today have been around since they were kids. From Tonka Trucks to Play-Doh, the toys that were popular then remain so today, topping holiday wish-lists and generating millions of dollars in revenue.

Barbie Still Rules

No toy demonstrates this than the ever-popular Barbie doll, which was rated girls’ #1 most asked for toy last holiday season. Yet these dolls have been around since 1959, when a woman named Ruth Handler decided her daughter would have more fun with three-dimensional dolls than the paper dolls she was used to. Within a year, Barbie dolls became the highest-selling fashion doll in history.

And Barbie has really grown up over the years. She’s changed jobs hundreds of times, going from simply being a fashion model to a soccer player, dentist, paleontologist, firefighter, presidential candidate, and even fighter pilot. Today, Barbie dolls are sold in 140 countries and about two dolls are sold every second. Barbie dolls are so pervasive in American culture that 90% of American girls have owned at least one.

After seeing the enormous success that Barbie dolls enjoyed, toy creator Stan Weston came up with an idea for a similar toy marketed to boys. In 1963, GI Joe was born—the world’s first and still most popular action figure. Quickly becoming extremely popular both in the United States and elsewhere, GI Joes expanded into comic books, an animated TV series, video games, and more.

And who could forget lovable crazes like Cabbage Patch Kids? They became the must have toy of the mid-80’s, and sales peaked in 1985 at $600 million. But that figure pales in comparison to the mind-boggling sales of Ty Warner’s Beanie Babies. In the 90’s these adorable little animals managed to become both the hottest toy in America and a valuable collectors items, with single dolls selling for tens of thousands of dollars. All of this helped build a toy empire worth over $6 billion.

And LEGO is Solid

But the reigning champion of toys is one that has lasted much longer, delighting both kids and parents for over half a century. The British Association of Toy Retailers determined a “Toy of the Century,” and the winner was…drum roll please…LEGOs! Since the famous interlocking blocks were first manufactured in 1949, over 20,000,000,000 have been made per year—that’s more than 600 per second!

In addition to classic themes like the Wild West, space, and the arctic, LEGO has offered specialty sets based on Star Wars, Batman, Spongebob, and much more. Even today, Indiana Jones LEGOs are being offered in coordination with the release of the new movie.

In addition to strict standards of manufacturing and design, LEGOs have done plenty to stay ahead of the curve. In 2001, LEGO released its Bionicle line, marketed to a slightly older crowd, and many LEGO sets now come with complex parts such as motors, gears, lights, sensors, and cameras. Most impressively, the new LEGO Mindstorms sets are designed to be integrated with a personal computer and carry out complex tasks—sets like these are often used in advanced robotics competitions.

So although many toys today may enjoy brief bouts of popularity, it takes a lot to stand up to toy behemoths such as these.

This could be an important finding in the debate over whether children’s toy choices, such as between trucks and Barbie dolls, are due to inherent preference or are the result of socialization. Though some might say that this study proves boys’ innate predisposition towards masculine toys, it is important to note that females did not show preference for either type of toy. Scientists also cautioned not to over-interpret the results, conceding that factors such as color or shape may have caused the distinction as well.

To view the entire study, click here.

In this spirit, here’s a heartwarming story about how the Swiss toy company HaPe is making a difference in China.  Teaming up with the Chinese government, HaPe has funded two new schools in one of the most remote territories of the country, the Guizhou province.

In a region where children often have to trek three hours through the jungle to attend school, this project will make life easier for about 500 children between the ages of 5 and 10 years old.  Showing strong dedication to the children of the world, HaPe’s president Peter Handstein visited the schools to ensure the project met to his satisfaction.