As a child, there was nothing more exciting to me than when my mom (who used to teach kindergarten) received the Oriental Trading catalog in the mail and passed it onto me. I could sit for hours and just stare at all the ….stuff! What was so fun about Oriental Trading Co. was how oddly specific and unexpected a lot of the items were. Some of them cause one to wonder… what situation would EVER call for something like that? (And moreso… why would you need it in bulk?) I have compiled a list of some of the strangest, creepiest, oddly specific, and just plain old “what the HECK” items I have found while perusing Oriental Trading Co.
(Disclaimer: I am not an affiliate or employee of Oriental Trading, but neither is this article meant to be insulting. I still love them.)
1. Design Your Own White Face Masks
Seeing as they are shaped exactly like creepy expressionless faces, the décor that I can imagine little kids scribbling onto them would only make them creepier. These would give me nightmares if my mom bought some for my next birthday party.
2. Gummy Blood
Hmm, how can we really corner the market on novelty candy? I know! Let’s take something fun and kid-friendly like gummy candy, and combine it with the exact OPPOSITE of all of those words! Voila- gummy blood.
3. Boomerang Candy
If you throw them, do they swing back around and land right in your mouth? Why would you possibly need boomerang candy? So many questions.
4. Happy Easter Hamster Shaped Suckers
I just have a few questions- what in the world do hamsters have to do with Easter? Is the Easter Bunny followed around by little hamsters wearing bunny ear headbands to help him hide the eggs? I AM SO BAFFLED RIGHT NOW.
5. Inflatable Shapes
“Son, for your birthday we got you something really fun!”
“Oh boy, Dad! What is it? What is it?”
“…..um, couldn’t we just get a piñata?”
“Be quiet and go play with your shapes. Daddy needs another drink.”
6. He Lives! Cross Shaped Pops
Are you seriously going to give these to children? What twisted person derives pleasure from allowing children to run around sucking on little sugared replicas of the most torturous execution device known to man?
7. Marshmallow Bunny Tails
Really this is just clever marketing. Any other time of year these are called miniature marshmallows, and people buy them for baking and hot cocoa. At Easter time? Bunny tails! Suddenly we MUST HAVE THEM IN BULK.
8. Cheers to the Grad Bean Bag Toss Game
If this is what your parents got to help you celebrate your high school graduation, they may be trying to send you a message.
9. Super Shape Changer
There is so much weirdness here I don’t even know where to start. I can only see this really working as some bizarre form of punishment. “Another F on your report card, Timmy? That’s it, get in the shape changer.”
10. Inflatable Eels
Honestly, I included these because I really want them. Eel party!
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